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Airey Belvoir
16th Jan 2014, 23:50
You read about it in the papers and magazines but never realise that, one day, it might darken your door.


My 12 year old granddaughter has just been brought to her knees a quivering wreck after some nasty little shit who was one of her acquaintances in her local town decided that he was going to do a job on her via farcebook.


Her mother is on to it now and a text message from her gives the flavour...


"I'm reading some pretty awful messages between them of a sexual nature. He has said some pretty graphic and disgusting things. xxxxx doesn't have a clue what he's talking about but she feels uncomfortable and in the end she lets him know he's a creep and weird - that's when he gets nasty."


I've sent the little creep a message telling him to back off if he values his existence on this planet but what else???


Anybody else had experience with this kind of sick stuff?

TWT
16th Jan 2014, 23:55
Lawstuff Australia - Know Your Rights - - Topics - Bullying - Cyber Bullying (http://www.lawstuff.org.au/wa_law/topics/bullying/cyber-bullying)

Airey Belvoir
17th Jan 2014, 00:00
Thanks TWT - does the same apply in the UK which is where my granddaughter is and why I'm not round at the little shit's house throttling the life out of him?

Richo77
17th Jan 2014, 00:21
Airey,

I dont wish to speak ill of your Granddaughter but she is far too young to be on there in the first place.

In believe Farcebook restrictions are 13yrs old so she probably shouldnt have been there in the first place, and this is the exact reason why. She could simply block him though and the messages and harassment would stop. Only allow access to her friends.

My son is 10 and plays an online building game called Minecraft which is mostly harmless till i saw the "chat" box one day and other kids calling people cnuts and the like. The chat feature has now been turned off even though he did nothing wrong. Severe policing required these days i'm afraid.

cattletruck
17th Jan 2014, 00:34
Judging from what my friend went through with cyber bullying of her 15 y/o daughter by other school students, you can't fight a faecesbook war on faecesbook. You can contact faecesbook help and report the person and if you are lucky the person will have his account deleted. But then they may move to mobile phone abuse as happened to my friend's daughter.

My friend did confront the parents of the bully but it became obvious the parents had little control over precious.

In the end it was a rude awaking for said daughter on how cruel some people can be, essentially a painful life lesson. She wised up and moved on.

TWT
17th Jan 2014, 00:54
Apologies Airey, I presumed your location from one of your posts and assumed that your grand daughter would be in WA as well.Best to have the UK posters comment

Bushfiva
17th Jan 2014, 01:54
In some jurisdictions, it is a crime to intentionally frighten someone by threatening to hurt them. OP might want to keep that in mind when communicating with the other party, especially if OP sent it from Australia.

Clare Prop
17th Jan 2014, 02:11
Communications Offences: Legal Guidance: The Crown Prosecution Service (http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/a_to_c/communications_offences/)

Facebook gives some seriously disturbed individuals a way of spreading their vitriol.

That is one of the reasons that a 12 year old is not supposed to have an account.

Good luck.

ExSp33db1rd
17th Jan 2014, 03:23
Farce book -forget it, who needs it, let them queue up at the public phone box in the rain with their tuppence ready, to ring their friends, as we - or at least some of us -did. What needs to be that urgent ?

I believe, 'cos I don't indulge, that people photograph what they are eating in a restaurant and Farce-book it to their 'page' ? Who cares !!

World's Gone Mad.

Isn't Farce book posting the same as Freedom of the Press, Yeah! Right! e.g. one can't libel others, and there are editors who are accountable, or is it really a free-for all with no constraints ? Just who is accountable ?

Close the whole thing down.

Life was definitely less stressful before the Digital Age.

Back to my cave.

llondel
17th Jan 2014, 03:32
We've just let our 12yr old loose on FB in an attempt to encourage him to want to write/type more. He knows the rules, we have the password to the account and get copied on all the email notifications he gets so anything bad and we can be on it immediately

Bushfiva
17th Jan 2014, 03:44
So you encouraged him to enter a false date of birth when registering?

Richo77
17th Jan 2014, 04:07
Yeah sorry Llondel but in an attempt to teach MY son to write / type / create more i wouldnt be using FB! Simply for the fact that most people (myself included) repost other peoples thoughts, pictures, videos and links not exactly creative writing stimuli. Not to mention the doors it opens. You can have as many notifications and passwords as you like but its takes seconds to post something inappropriate how long before you get advised of it?

Airey Belvoir
17th Jan 2014, 06:33
Fully sympathise with the comments that the bloody thing (as well as twatter) should be shut down. They're nothing but banal repositories of inconsequential shite which enables kids to have a secret world of their own when they should be out playing in the full glare of society.


Unfortunately my daughter - now a single parent - allowed this without giving a whole lot of thought to the possible consequences. The father (a disinterested moron) is a total waste of space who spent the time that he should have been acting as a father playing stupid computer games. So I suppose it runs in the family. :ugh:

probes
17th Jan 2014, 06:36
we were told it's essential to save and store the abusive messages - and the kids are reluctant to let this be done of course. Sometimes facing the person to let them know you know what they're doing helps.

scotbill
17th Jan 2014, 07:36
Now that adults are increasingly using FB, I'm told the kids are abandoning it.
It's so last year.

Alloa Akbar
17th Jan 2014, 08:43
Now that adults are increasingly using FB

Yeah and adults can pretty thick too.. we have one of our CNC Machinists who posted on FB that he has been interviewing for other jobs and is just waiting on a start date so he can tell us where to stick our job.. His face was a picture when I told him we had seen his post, found a replacement, when could he leave?? :}

Evanelpus
17th Jan 2014, 08:52
We've just let our 12yr old loose on FB in an attempt to encourage him to want to write/type more. He knows the rules, we have the password to the account and get copied on all the email notifications he gets so anything bad and we can be on it immediately


I'm sorry, I despair at parents who write such drivel. At 12, your son is too young to have an official Facebook account.

Get a grip, you are using Facebook to encourage a 12 year old to write more? Christ, whatever next? Watching a documentary about Fred and Rose West in an attempt to learn more about child safety and welfare.

Worrals in the wilds
17th Jan 2014, 09:47
Airey, if specific threats have been made you can talk to the coppers about it; the Australian leglislation is very clear (Crimes Legislation Amendment (Telecommunications Offences and Other Measures) Act (No. 2) 2004 s474.17:Using a carriage service to menace, harass or cause offence) and I imagine the UK is similar.

However, if it's another kid doing the sending then the authorities probably can't do a lot. If it were here I'd suggest the child's mother reported it to the local police (an adult friend of mine was harassed by her crazy ex and the police were extremely supportive) but I don't know what they're like in the UK. Facebook are very clear with their minimum age requirement of 13; that doesn't make what's happened right (far from it) but as far as they're concerned, she shouldn't be using their site.

Personally, I think it would be best for her to deactivate the account. As an adult, that's what I'd do if it happened to me. You can block/unfriend the offender, but all too often they just sign up under another name or get their nasty little friends to jump in and take over. I know kids like having Facebook accounts, but when they get infested with trolls who post crap then they're better off without it.

For many years I have been involved in a non-profit organization that has a lot of teen members. The thing I've noticed with kids on Facebook (including over 13s who can legitimately use the site under the T&Cs) is that they're very undiscriminating about who they 'friend'. They end up with all sorts of weirdos and total strangers as 'friends' because every time someone sends a request, they accept it :ugh:. Like a cyberspace version of Stranger Danger, they need to be educated and monitored so that they only have proper real life friends as FB friends, and if any of them are inappropriate they need to unfriend them very quickly without getting into online slanging matches.

I've also noticed that teens post shite on Facebook without thinking of the consequences. Think of all the nasty stuff we used to say to each other in the playground; this generation are publishing it. Unlike the playground version, it's there for everyone to see, forever. We had an issue where kids were defaming a rival organization using our organization's name :eek:. My sad lot in life was to explain to a bunch of fifteen year olds that putting stuff on Facebook is publishing, not speaking... and there's a BIG difference. We got there, but it was an uphill battle of the highest order. With the slow learners I had to threaten to throw them out before they understood the implications of what they were doing and how serious it could be.

If a child has an account I think it should be a condition that they let one or both parents be Facebook friends, so they can monitor what they're up to and more importantly, what other kids are up to :uhoh:. If that makes them the Fun Police then too bad so sad, that's what being a parent is all about :}. Howver, I realise that can be easier said than done when said kid secretly sets up an account.

Being a former bullying victim I hate to think what it must be like for kids when the bullying continues 24/7 via the internet; at least we got a break from it after school :(. I think the advice my parents gave me at the time still holds true (trite though it sounds); they're just worthless, juvenile d:mad:ckheads, so ignore them, block them and don't listen to anything they have to say, because it's 100% cow manure.

Sallyann1234
17th Jan 2014, 10:05
So you want to encourage a 12 year old to be better educated, by teaching him to lie about his age to get on FB..
So when he wants alcohol, cigarettes, X rated movies, he knows exactly what to do. Great job! http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/thumbs.gif

You couldn't find any other way for him to write, except on FB?

Capetonian
17th Jan 2014, 10:26
There is a site called Couchsurfing which goes through a verification process when people register. I know about it because a friend of ours from CPT set off on a trip round Europe staying with various people, and I expressed some concerns. She explained that identity and address are verified when you offer accommodation, how I don't know. (She ended up falling in love with the guy from Paris and moving there to be with him but that's another 'histoire'.)

It would be very simple, but self-destructive, for Faecesbook to do the same. It would massively reduce the number of people using it - good - and maybe even hasten its demise - better.

Mrs CT and our son are both users of FB, we refused to allow him to use it until he was about 16, and they frequently try to convince me how wonderful it is and how I should be using it. The more they show me about it, the more cynical I am. I am convinced it is evil, pointless, pernicious, pervasive and invasive. There is probably a single word for all those things!

Edit :
Found it........ pretty useless really but marginally better than nothing.
https://www.couchsurfing.org/n/terms
3.3 Our Address-Verification Tool. Our address verification tool is intended merely to confirm that the postal address a member submits to us is an address at which that member is able to access or receive mail. Couchsurfing’s address verification tool is not intended to confirm that a member actually resides at a particular address. While this is one of many ways to reduce the risk of misconduct by a member, it is not a guarantee of any member’s identity or good faith.

Worrals in the wilds
17th Jan 2014, 10:31
There is a site called Couchsurfing which goes through a verification process when people register. I know about it because a friend of ours from CPT set off on a trip round Europe staying with various people, and I expressed some concerns. She explained that identity and address are verified when you offer accommodation, how I don't know. Bloody norah, what could possibly go wrong? :eek::eek::ugh::ugh::ouch:
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Quiet, shy bloke runs a wilderness camp with beds available...:}
Even a legitimate crim check (which costs money) only details what crimes people have already committed, not the ones they either 1. haven't done yet or 2. didn't get caught for. :uhoh: I'd love to see what this internet site considers a proper 'verification process'.

DX Wombat
17th Jan 2014, 10:32
AB, perhaps a message from the parents along the lines of "I/we know who you are and where you are. Should any further communication be received from you it, along with all the other messages we have saved, and your name and address will be forwarded to the police".

charliegolf
17th Jan 2014, 10:53
AB, perhaps a message from the parents along the lines of "I/we know who you are and where you are. Should any further communication be received from you it, along with all the other messages we have saved, and your name and address will be forwarded to the police".

Screen print the evidence and give a copy at a meeting (on the doorstep). Refuse to go in,no need. Explain as above. Have a really nasty thug in the car taking pics of the Dad/Mum.

Explain that any FB missiles launced at my grandaughter after today will be regarded as a FB missile launched by you (Mum or Dad) not your child, because my friend won't violently assualt children.

It's important that they know that creating a new account to carry on the assault isn't gonna work.

CG (Mr Placid)

ShyTorque
17th Jan 2014, 11:14
AB, perhaps a message from the parents along the lines of "I/we know who you are and where you are. Should any further communication be received from you it, along with all the other messages we have saved, and your name and address will be forwarded to the police".

I did this once, a lad my daughter knew from Air Cadets and school began sending all sorts of guff to her. I went online on her FB account and wrote him a very terse message in capitals, telling the little scrote it was now me he was dealing with, and that if the hassle didn't stop I was going to report him to his Cadet HQ, his school, the police and most frightening of all, to his Mum (yes, apparently another troubled single parent family).

Almost immediately he apologised to me online and later to my daughter in person. The trouble stopped so we left it at that. Sometimes the mixed up kids doing this stuff don't realise the effect they are having on their victim.

If this stuff had come from an adult it would have been difficult to resist the temptation for myself and her other three protectors (i.e. her grown up brothers) to have gone round to his place and explained a few things "in words of less than one syllable". :oh:

Worrals in the wilds
17th Jan 2014, 11:27
The trouble stopped so we left it at that. Sometimes the mixed up kids doing this stuff don't realise the effect they are having on their victim.
Bullying 101 :uhoh:. At least you got through to this one with no further harm done.

It's difficult for troubled single parents (Mums or Dads). If they're not deadbeats on benefits they have to work full-time, frequently deal with the Ex and still have enough time to monitor their kids' behaviour. I was pretty judgemental about it all until a young family member (male) and a good friend (female) ended up in that boat and having seen the constant juggling act they both do to keep everyone fed, clothed, schooled/at work and happy, I can see how stuff slips through the cracks, even when they have the best of intentions. :sad:

Worrals in the wilds
17th Jan 2014, 12:42
I ran a search for Degenerate Bastards. :E Unfortunately when I applied it to the ASIC database it clogged the system and the whole thing crashed. :uhoh::}
It's amazing what computers can do these days...:hmm:

Airey Belvoir
17th Jan 2014, 13:39
AB, perhaps a message from the parents along the lines of "I/we know who you are and where you are. Should any further communication be received from you it, along with all the other messages we have saved, and your name and address will be forwarded to the police".


Already done. Grand daughter's FB page taken down and closed and mum given the good word. Any further pain is likely to be met with some robust action.