Ken Borough
13th Jan 2014, 07:53
I've just watched a report on the aftermath of the bush fires near Perth that have resulted in a significant loss of property and maybe human life. A spokesperson for one of the govt agencies surname was 'DULLARD'. I thought 'how unfortunate to have that name' but the good lady appeared to be anything but a dullard.

Have you seen any real-life examples of unfortunate surnames like this?

13th Jan 2014, 08:04
Indian names I've seen :

Then, combinations of first and surnames :
Mike Litoris
R. Slicker

I have to say that whenever I've looked at a passenger name list for a flight, there's usually a couple of names good for a laugh. I'll dig some out later.

13th Jan 2014, 08:49
Former colleague of a colleague has the surname "Kerr".

In itself, not particularly noteworthy.

Unfortunately, his parents (either particularly stupid or particularly cruel) decided to call him Wayne.

One hopes he had a middle name that could be used as an alternate......

13th Jan 2014, 08:51
Yeah!, exchanging corro with a Mr Towel recently..first name.. Terry :rolleyes:..why would you do that to your kid??

13th Jan 2014, 08:56
I worked with a lady called Teresa Brown. We ribbed her, and asked, "What were they thinking- Treesa Brown indeed?" She looked with that look that women use, the one that means, "You simple tosser", and explained that Brown was her married name, so, "Not much my parents could do about that was there, dimwits!"

You know what's coming next- maiden name- Green!

Uproar ensued, and she didn't get the joke. How we laughed in them days.


13th Jan 2014, 09:00
There was an article about guide dogs in the paper on Saturday - featured a couple named as Philip and Norma Stent.:uhoh:


Rob Courtney
13th Jan 2014, 09:04
I used to work with a Richard Head not sure what his parents were thinking. Also one of my ex colleagues had a surname of Hunter and was going to name his son Issac but we managed to talk him out of it

13th Jan 2014, 09:07
I used to work with a Richard Head ... as did I - I wonder if it was the same one? But he always insisted on being called Ric!

13th Jan 2014, 09:14
At school there was a boy called Ball. We always asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, apart from a bo:mad:ck?

A A Gruntpuddock
13th Jan 2014, 09:18
Contact for advice using a particular computer program was listed as R. Sen in the internal directory.

When I had to call one day, I could not resist asking 'Is R Sen about', which for some strange reason got the person answering the phone (not Sen) rather upset ....

13th Jan 2014, 09:19
In the ATC we had a Bates, who had a younger brother, we called him Master.

13th Jan 2014, 09:20
I used to work with an R. Sole, and that was how he signed his name.

13th Jan 2014, 09:23
Once had a visit from an electronics rep, Hugh Rynall, we kept that page of the visitor's book for ages.

Straighten Up
13th Jan 2014, 09:37
I remember at work in the 90s we had clients who were the Mycock brothers, Paul and Phil.

13th Jan 2014, 09:49
Daughter went to school with two brothers, Andrew and Peter, surname Nuss.

I also worked with a Teresa Green, surely it's not a genetic trait to give your children awkward names.

13th Jan 2014, 09:52
Bossom was also president of the Anglo-Baltic Society. Winston Churchill joked, when introduced to Bossom, "Who is this man whose name means neither one thing nor the other?"

DX Wombat
13th Jan 2014, 09:55
Pratt - a fairly common surname around these parts but not exactly conducive to instilling confidence when seen on tradesmens vans. (Pratt the plumber?)

13th Jan 2014, 09:59
It's difficult for me to take any of the current clutch of UK politicians seriously, but the absolute humdinger amongst them has to be the Right Honourable Edward BALLS. So aptly named for that choice of career, and a sure-fire guarantee that he will never make PM, that one almost feels a tiny bit sorry for him ... ;):rolleyes:

13th Jan 2014, 09:59
One of my apprentice mates when I was training at Heathrow with BEA was Steve, christened Steven Alan and surname Lee. Yep - everyone called him Sally.

13th Jan 2014, 10:00
Incidentally, a common surname in Cornwall is Death, pronounced Dee-ath.
There must be at least one Doctor Death in Cornwall!

Ascend Charlie
13th Jan 2014, 10:01
And Mr Cannell (pronounced K'nell) who was known as Far.

13th Jan 2014, 10:02
Asked for a quote some years ago for a house security system. The chap who came around was a Mr Burglar. You would have though he would change his name or go for a different profession.

13th Jan 2014, 10:06
I once worked with a guy who had a long career as a theatre lighting designer/technician

His name ? Leon Dark

13th Jan 2014, 10:08
We had a TELS/NAVAIDS Manager named Richard Head, did not appreciate being called Dick.

13th Jan 2014, 10:14
When working in Coventry there was a whole family of Wankling(s) employed there
(Means one who lives by a path or bye road)

13th Jan 2014, 10:14
I used to share an office with a number of others including someone called Michael Hunt. We were always careful....

One day the boss's PA, a lovely glamourous granny, stuck her head round the door and asked :

"Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?"

"Er....No, sorry", said we, somehow keeping straight faces.

(I remember dreamily thinking "I certainly wouldn't mind, if that's an offer").

She paused, looked into the distance, went bright red and departed, closing the door behind her. While we suppressed our own laughter, we distinctly heard her giggling to herself in the corridor, in what was, I imagine, total embarrassment.

13th Jan 2014, 10:24
Nah I bet it wasn't embarrassment.

If she is world wise enough to understand it she is mucky enough to laugh at herself about it.

The number of older glamorous hosties who get a regular bollocking off there kids for close to the mark smutty comments is extremely high in my experience.

13th Jan 2014, 10:55
Going back to my apprenticeship days at what was then British Steel. Got bored one day and started looking through the internal telephone directory for unusual names and found a sales manager in the directory as

Mycock. C

13th Jan 2014, 11:18
I went to school with a girl by the name of Robin Banks.

13th Jan 2014, 11:27
From the left side of the Atlantic....

There was a Dr. Money (John Money, born NZ and worked around Philadelphia). Seems they all should be called that when you see their bills!

But the best ever was the daughter of an early governor of Texas, "Big Jim" Hogg, who named his only daughter "Ima". No kidding, look it up yourself.

13th Jan 2014, 11:41
I used to work with a bloke named Richard Large, first name shortened to Dick. And on the e-mail address list as 'Large Dick'.

He never complained about that.

13th Jan 2014, 11:44
Bill Lear named his daughter Shanda.

I used to work with a Hugh Pratt and, more recently, a chap named Trebilcock - a very pleasant young man who certainly had a way with the ladies!

13th Jan 2014, 11:44
A family surnamed Pipe called their son Dwayne :-)

13th Jan 2014, 11:46
Letters of Note: We all feel like that now and then (http://www.lettersofnote.com/2009/10/we-all-feel-like-that-now-and-then.html)


13th Jan 2014, 11:47
In this area, there is a family with the surname of Atyeo, one of whom has the forename of Philip, normally shortened to Phil.

13th Jan 2014, 11:49
I remember a family named Horseflesh.

Pronounced 'Ho flay' doncha know.

Rob Courtney
13th Jan 2014, 11:49
Just rembered we used to have a dental hygienist called Mrs Savage!

13th Jan 2014, 11:51
A few years ago broadcast media journalists appeared to have been instructed to say 'Takeshta' when reporting on an oriental politician named Takeshita.

13th Jan 2014, 11:51
When I was an apprentice at Filton I worked with a chap named Albert Hall.

13th Jan 2014, 11:58
In a previous life working in a financial institution in Belfast we had a family of customers called Nutt. The father was called Howard (pronounced "hard" in best Belfast parlance). His wife was called Hazel. And their daughter was called Patricia, but used to sign her withdrawals as P Nutt.

I jest not .....

13th Jan 2014, 12:03
I used to share an office with a number of others including someone called Michael Hunt. We were always careful....

Shy, would that be "Sir" to me Hunt?

Sqn Ldr?


13th Jan 2014, 12:04
Two lads at my school l were called Fluck and Blum. Somehow, their names seemed to be called louder than any one else's during during CCF roll call.:E

I have a Mr Dentith the dentist in the practice I go to.


13th Jan 2014, 12:08
Apparently the North of England name Sidebottom is pronounced 'siddybotam'. I don't know if this is true.

I once went out with a girl whose surname was Turpin (like Dick ...... and she did!) and got back to my office one day to find a message on my desk saying 'please call Mr. Pin.'. Took a a minute for the penny to drop. I forget why I broke up with her but I do remember going round to her mother's place to pick her up and her mother said :
"You're only seeing her for one thing, aren't you?" to which I replied :
"It's not my fault you didn't teach her to cook or clean or wash clothes."

13th Jan 2014, 12:34
Two brothers who owned a local hardware store were named Handcock. They made sure that everyone knew it was pronounced "Han-co". :)

Had a farmer client named George Batty. In his case, one would have to be very careful as to Christian names given to offspring. He was actually quite a decent bloke, he wasn't in the least bit nuts. :)

I recall reading many years ago about unfortunate names given to American offspring. One family was surnamed Flag, and the father actually named one daughter Wava White. :D

G&T ice n slice
13th Jan 2014, 12:55
I seem to recall on black & white TV and interview with a little old lady

"And what is your name madam"

"Crystal Palleece"

"Palleece, well that's an unusual surname"

"Well, before I married my husband I made hime change his name by deed poll to Palleece, because I told him, I was born & christened Crystal Ball, but I was damned if i was going to spend the rest of my life called Crystal Pallace".

dubbleyew eight
13th Jan 2014, 13:15
my brother told me of a guy he interviewed for a job one time.
"Mr Arthur, we dont seem to have your first name, what is it ?"
My name is King Arthur.....

I wonder how many other job interviews he attended where they didnt call back?

13th Jan 2014, 13:57
Arse is a common surname around here. For that matter, Jesus is a common first name.

cockney steve
13th Jan 2014, 14:18
A long-ago foreman, "ARMPIT".....used to sign his initials...A.R.M......funnily enough, my youngest son has the same initials, but AFAIK the connection hasn't ever been made.

Mr. Savage is a Consultant at Oldham Royal, I think.

One that always makes me smile...."skidmore's " cycle shop, Oldham.

13th Jan 2014, 14:19
When I was in the airforce we had a chap called Ivor Biggen.

13th Jan 2014, 15:43
I am surprised nobody has come up with this :
Rowan Atkinson The School Master - YouTube

13th Jan 2014, 15:49
I remember an American passenger checking-in at Prestwick - Randy Farquahar

13th Jan 2014, 16:01
On family trips to Cornwall in the 50s we always looked out for Doolittle and Dalley's estate agents' signs around the Kidderminster area. I see that they are still in business, so I guess they havent been living up to their names.

Incidentally Fliegenmong , I've added "corro" to my list of Australian diminutives - new one on me! Do you ever exchange corro with with your rellies about the price of veggies? ;)

13th Jan 2014, 16:10
RTE Radio had (maybe still has) a D.J. called Rick O'Shea.

13th Jan 2014, 16:27
There was a firm of solicitors (or lawyers for folks over t'other side of the pond) in Cambridge called Cloake and Dallas which always struck me as appropriate in a sinister sort of way.

13th Jan 2014, 16:39
I still can't bring myself to refer to someone of my acquaintance as Mike Hunt, preferring to call him Michael.

I used to live not that far from a place called Pissange.

13th Jan 2014, 16:49
Shy, would that be "Sir" to me Hunt?
Sqn Ldr?

No, that one was "Isaac", I think.

This one was Mister Michael Hunt (WO crewman instructor). I think he was also training to become a teacher for when he retired from the RAF.


Also, I once worked for a builder who employed a joiner, surname of Mycock.

Bad enough by itself but his first name was Aaron.

13th Jan 2014, 16:53
There used to be 2 dentists in Exeter called Screech and Blood.There was also a Estate Agents in the Home Counties with the unfortunate name of Gascoigne Pees.

13th Jan 2014, 17:17
In Polruan, Cornwall in the 60s, the grocer was Mr Rice and the butcher was Mr Body.

John Hill
13th Jan 2014, 17:33
Two of the firemen at a Pacific Island airport had interesting names, one was called 'Rover' and when I needed his full name for something he told me it was 'Land Rover' his work mate was called 'Blue Fordson'. It was/is the custom there to give boys 'strong' names and twins born at the time were named 'Hercules' and 'Orion' which was kind of cool really.

13th Jan 2014, 18:50
While living in Surrey in the sixties, I recall an estate agents in Carshalton named Soar and Soar. I often wondered whether that was what their house prices did. Just as well they weren't called Rockitt and Plumitt . . .

13th Jan 2014, 18:50
Sorry can't resist this old nugget,

Young red Indian boy walks up to Cheif Soaring Eagle and asks him how he got that name, to which the Cheif responds that when he was born there was an eagle soaring above, and that is why his father was named Cheif running bull as a large buffallo ran passed during his birth, the Cheif finished by saying " now Two Dogs ******* does that answer your question?

G&T ice n slice
13th Jan 2014, 18:59
... I'd kill to be called Two Dogs Fighting...

Is there still an estate agency in Truro called Lillicrap ?

13th Jan 2014, 19:19
I work with a chap called Neville Chamberlain.
On Southern TV many moon ago there was a presenter called Christopher Peacock - usually shortened to Chris.....

13th Jan 2014, 19:28
I work with A (Adrian) Nutter.

There is a firm of solicitors in Leamington Spa called Wright Hassall.

13th Jan 2014, 19:35
Estate Agents Bairstow Eves & Son were (maybe still are) less than fondly known as Bastards Thieves & Scum.

13th Jan 2014, 19:36
And we won't mention the head of the urology department at Musgrove Park Hospital, Mr. Burns-Cox.

13th Jan 2014, 19:42
Probably a family legend, but I remember my Dad telling us that his dental surgery when he was a boy had a Dr. Payne and a Dr. Hurt.

Has anyone been to Beconscote Model Village near Beaconsfield? All the little shops and business have names like 'Fiddle and Twist Lawyers' and 'Mr. Chop the Butcher'.

A company I did some work for had a Dutch guy whose exact name I forget, but changed slightly it was shortened to 'Mark The Burning Cock'. Then there was the Greek Cypriot at another company called Papachristou, known as Crapandpisstoo.

13th Jan 2014, 19:58
Once saw a delivery docket signed by a fellow with the name R. H. Plonker,
also remember the Sunday Times supplement with a big list of strange names the one that still sticks in my head was John Will Fail. God knows what his parents were thinking.

13th Jan 2014, 20:20
Our family GP in Adelaide years ago was Dr. Clapp. Coincidentally, more recently his cousin of the same name assisted in an operation I had in Sydney.

13th Jan 2014, 21:10
There was a firm of solicitors in Sligo called Argue and Phibbs (Honest!)

13th Jan 2014, 21:18
LINDSAY DOYLE - United Kingdom profiles | LinkedIn (http://uk.linkedin.com/pub/dir/LINDSAY/DOYLE)

13th Jan 2014, 21:27
Let us not forget Ginger Minge of internet fame on the college roll.

13th Jan 2014, 21:30

Is there still an estate agency in Truro called Lillicrap ?

Yup. Lillicrap Chilcott (http://www.waterfrontandcountryhomes.com/public/PropertyDirectory.aspx).

13th Jan 2014, 21:33
Perth saint ... you beat me to it. I had dealings with Wright Hassall in Leamington some years back and , yes, it was a right hassle.

13th Jan 2014, 21:35
Smith v. Leech Brain & Co

Smith v Leech Brain & Co - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smith_v_Leech_Brain_%26_Co)

spInY nORmAn
13th Jan 2014, 21:36
SunnyJohn said:

Incidentally, a common surname in Cornwall is Death, pronounced Dee-ath.
There must be at least one Doctor Death in Cornwall!

Yep - we had one here at our local hospital in Canada about 30 years ago. Dr. Death (pronounced, as you say, Dee-ath). Didn't matter how it was pronounced when you saw your name listed as his patient on paper! Of course, nobody ever got the pronunciation right as that was no fun :}

13th Jan 2014, 21:36
Brown Beer & Co Solicitors in Redcar. The two surnames of the principal partners.

John Hill
13th Jan 2014, 21:42
Who could ever forget Onslow's sister-in-law?

Hitler gets a call from Mrs. Bucket - YouTube


14th Jan 2014, 00:18
In Orkney there is a village called Twatt (RNAS HMS TERN 1940 - 1949), and Twatt is also a family name thus one could be
"a Twatt from Twatt!!!!" - one can imagine the look on the AOC's face!!!

Locally Twatt is pronounced 'Twott'


PZU - Out of Africa (Retired)

14th Jan 2014, 00:40
Once knew a Ted Bear. Luckily, his parents did not give him a middle name beginning with E.

14th Jan 2014, 02:52
I work with A (Adrian) Nutter.and there was Nutter in my class at school, as well as a Ramsbottom.

My name is a little unusual - my lips are sealed - and coincidentally there was another of the same name in my class, my initial is A and the other guys' was B. Our teacher thought we were brothers, and complimented our parents on choosing A and B.

When I joined the RAF I was eventually commissioned, and posted to a station where there was an NCO of the same name - I always used to get his mail - the mail room used to just send it all to me as a matter of course !

We had a dentist called Nash, 'Nash, the teeth' we referred to him down the pub !

My first Boss told me never to make fun of a mans' name to him, he's heard them all before, he said.

We had a "traditional" Captain called Burt, but he was a little noisy, so we nicknamed him Barker. One stewardess came into the flight deck and said " here's your coffee Captain Barker " ( she didn't know ) He went almost apoplectic, and shouted, "my name's not Barker, it's Burt"
"Oh, Hello Bert," she said, "my name's Doris, how nice to meet you"

14th Jan 2014, 06:28
William '8 Track/Learjet' Lear had his daughter christened Crystal Shanda. :roll eyes:

14th Jan 2014, 06:44
I know of a Miss Dye. Her father is indeed a doctor. :ooh:

14th Jan 2014, 07:09
LINDSAY DOYLE - United Kingdom profiles | LinkedInA name like that would kill you - but you'd have a nice finish.

SMT Member
14th Jan 2014, 07:17
Talked on the phone with a supplier yesterday, by the name of Rikke Bitsch. Having laughed at that for a bit, needed to send an email to a customer who has, by a long mile, the coolest email address: [email protected] :)

14th Jan 2014, 08:28
There was once a young lady on an electronics course whose name was Darlington and nature had been very bountiful to her. So bountiful in fact that she was known as the Darlington Pair.

As no story is complete without a photo here is what she was named after -


14th Jan 2014, 08:57
Biggest laugh for me was on the Chase
Bradley Walsh giggles at 'Fanny Chmelar' ( Smeller ) - very funny (ITV The Chase - Oct 2011) - YouTube with Bradley Walsh and the skier Ms Chmelar.

14th Jan 2014, 09:17
Knew an Army pilot once who was called Sean Lambe....

And a pub near my childhood home was run by a Mr De'Ath (pronounced dee-ath). We used to call him Fred Death - oh how we laughed .......

14th Jan 2014, 09:37
When I was about 14 and at an all boys school we had a new maths teacher.

He came into his first lesson with us and introduced himself by writing his name on the blackboard. It was "Mr S C Wankadia".

He only got as far as the K when the room erupted into a small riot.

I always felt sorry for him and that the other teachers should have said to him, "Whatever you do, don't tell them your name!"

14th Jan 2014, 09:47
Vaguely remembering a math class I had in the 9th Grade with about 20 students involved- where we had 3 guys named "John Smith"! They sorted it out themselves- two asked to be called "John S" and "John T" respectively (can't recall what the middle names were) while the third used his middle name of "Thomas" (yes, there were 2 "John T. Smith's") , but only in that one class. The first two got stuck with their initialized names throughout the other classes eventually because of those in that first class with them, while "Thomas" was "John" everywhere else.

I should have bought a lottery ticket the first day of that class :ugh:

14th Jan 2014, 10:11
I used to know someone with the surname "Dyer". He always answered the phone " Dyer 'ere ".

14th Jan 2014, 10:21
... and then there was our woodwork teacher ....

....... Mr Worwood! Unsurprisingly known as "Woodworm". Had we had the knowledge of today, I suppose "Martini" would have been more appropriate....;)

14th Jan 2014, 10:31
A German ex-colleague had the surname 'Poesch'. She used to answer her 'phone 'Good morning, Poesch'. Unfortunately it sounds like an extremely rude Afrikaans/Cape Coloured word and always took me by surprise.

Ancient Mariner
14th Jan 2014, 11:36
Number one daughter's married name is Køller (Koeller), translated to English it means clubs or sticks and when said daughter was pregnant with a boy I suggested they named him Ice Hockey or Golf. I also had a few other :mad: suggestions.
He was named Conrad. :hmm:

14th Jan 2014, 11:41
When I learnt German at school, one of the 'characters' in our book was Mr. Koehler. In German, that was 'Herr Koehler' which we thought was hysterically funny, in the same way as 'Grossvater' (pronounced Gross Farter) for Grandfather.

B Fraser
14th Jan 2014, 13:12
I may be on a business trip later this year to Hungary where there's a possibility of being introduced to a Orsolya Kis and a Fanni Kiss who both work in the same orifice... sorry, office.

I hope it's their day off otherwise I'll be incapable of speech. :uhoh:

There is a lady called Helen Heaven in my company. :ugh:

14th Jan 2014, 14:59
I remember watching the England-Germany match in the pub with some friends, the Euro 96 semi-final. England were leading 1-0 and inevitably the Germans scored. "Kuntz!" shouted the commentator, and everyone in the pub agreed that indeed they were.

14th Jan 2014, 15:37
Bill Coffin worked as a hearse driver for the Selwood funeral parlour in Carnoustie.

I kid ye not!

14th Jan 2014, 15:51
I know of a Miss Dye. Her father is indeed a doctor.

My sister is called Diane and she married a David Dye.

They are known as Di-Dye and D-Dye.

14th Jan 2014, 18:54
I have exceeded my lurking capacity and feel forced to contribute, as well as to thank all of the forum members here for the ongoing laughter well shared, provocative thinking and expertise.

I was born in Atlanta and was lucky enough to have two misfortunately named friends: Straighton Hard III and Harry Root. (What warped/marvelous sense of humo(u)r had the family Hard, who named and numbered simultaneously?) They formed a well-known construction company, with logos painted larger-than-life upon their cranes, dump trucks, forklifts and trailers. The name of the company?

If you think I'm making this up, check the area code 404 directory. :rolleyes:



14th Jan 2014, 20:30
Many years ago in my village lived the husband and wife Doctors Royd. They only had one child, an exceptionally pretty girl they christened Emma. It came as no surprise that she married at a very young age. I hope it turned out to be a happy marriage.

14th Jan 2014, 22:25
..........pretty girl they christened Emma

Pretty, but she was a pain in the arse growing up.

14th Jan 2014, 22:31
I went to a wine making group of lectures - the tutor was called Mr Brewer.

Ken Borough
14th Jan 2014, 22:50
A couple of decades ago, the spokesman for the Funeral industry in Sydney was a Mr Box. :}

14th Jan 2014, 23:04
When my wife was nursing she had a patient whose surname was Koch.
Unfortunately she had a daughter called Norah. http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/infopop/icons/icon7.gif

15th Jan 2014, 01:43
There's always Lord Judge, known as Judge Judge, I assume, although he's now retired.

15th Jan 2014, 03:54
Years ago, I worked with a fellow named "Shupizer". Worse, he actually pronounced it 'pisser'http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/puppy_dog_eyes.gif

Years before that, I dated a lady who lived in a town called Hale. To get to Hale, you needed to drive a road that took you over a dam - that's right, the dam road to Hale http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/evil.gif

15th Jan 2014, 06:18
I can recall the story of a U.S Army senior officer, in the days when the ladies in the military were relegated to mostly chaffeuring jobs for the officers.

This particular officer found he had an attractive new female driver, and as he climbed into the car, he greeted her with, "Hello, I'm Colonel Smith, what's your name?"

She replied, "Nancy, sir".

The Colonel exploded, "I can't call you that, it's too familiar! What's your surname?"

With a sigh, she replied ... "Darling, sir".

Colonel Smith was quiet for a couple of seconds - then came the instructions, "Drive on, Nancy". :)

15th Jan 2014, 06:48
I once met a lady called Emma Stein - her surname rhymed with wine - and she let slip during our conversation that her husband was called Roger.... must have made for a musical wedding :)

Also, I once worked with Helen Highwater - again, what were her parents thinking??


15th Jan 2014, 06:50
Reminds me of a maid I had once. Black South African and Rhodesian girls in those days usually used 'school names' when dealing with us whiteys as it was thought that their real names would be too hard for white people to pronounce, which was absolute bullshit. A lot of them had names like 'Tickey' and so on. Anyone I had this maid who was seriously fat and ugly, and her name was 'Beauty'. Well, I just couldn't bring myself to address her that way!

15th Jan 2014, 07:11
I went to school with a chap called Constable. He joined the police and became Constable Constable.

15th Jan 2014, 08:42
'Death' (Dee-ath) is also an old Essex name, as is Christmas. At one time, in the village of Dedham, the pub was the 'Live and Let Die' and the landlord was called.......'Death'!

I had a radio lecturer called Christmas. He rather cruelly named his daughter 'Mary', on the basis he had had the p*ss taken out of him all his life about his name, and she would change her name when she married!

I worked with a guy who had the surname 'Badcock'.....

The surgeon who did the colonoscopy on me last year was a Mr Payne.....

And I know a couple called Ayres who named their son 'Ryan'....

John Hill
15th Jan 2014, 09:05
I knew of a Captain Startup. He flew with Straits Air Freight Express.

keyboard flier
15th Jan 2014, 11:24
I was in scouts with a lad called Badcock, he acquired the nickname of 'Septic' short for Septic Penis. :uhoh:

15th Jan 2014, 11:30
Just remembered I once knew a chap with the surname Glasscock. Apparently it was pronounced Glass - co.

15th Jan 2014, 13:01
Nothing could be more unfortunate than being a woman and having a surname of Hoare. :(

We had some local farmers by the name of Sloan. They were pretty slow-talking individuals with a dubious family ancestry, that probably involved too many close relatives marrying each other.
I created a great deal of mirth amongst a few younger employees by regularly referring to the family, as the "Slow-uns". :)

15th Jan 2014, 13:42
The parcel department Manager at B.R. Waterloo in the 80s was Ray Bastard. But he wasn't, he was a very pleasant chap.

15th Jan 2014, 13:47
I went to school with a Paul Christmas. A few years later he got married and had a child.

Dak Man
15th Jan 2014, 14:10
I once worked with a chap whose surname is Dix, inevitably his christain name is Ivor - honest Guv.

15th Jan 2014, 14:48
My sister married Mr Ding.

When they set up a partnership veterinary practice they thought it through - and called themselves "Evergreen"

Let's face it - Dealing with Ding Ding umpteen times a day would soon pall!

15th Jan 2014, 18:37
It amused me that the Times sent Roger Boyes to cover a paedophile scandal in a choir school in Austria.:sad:

15th Jan 2014, 19:46
My mum was at school with

Primrose Trail
Minnie Bunion

My first job, the manager was called Elton Dancer, and he drove a white beetle...Nuff said

15th Jan 2014, 20:04
Thinking back to my childhood, we had a teacher at school called Mr. Lightfoot who was indeed very light on his feet. Another was Mr. Butcher, he was rather fierce and most of the kids were terrified of him.
We had a neighbour called Dr. Savage who I think was a dentist.

A few years ago I had to go to a dentist in Bucharest to see about a raging toothache which turned out to be an abscess. His name was Dr. Moron or something very like that, he was very pleasant but his English was limited. He nearly caused my demise from laughter when, after inspecting the problem, and putting various implements into my mouth, he then said : "In one moment you will feel my small prick come inside your mouth ......"

15th Jan 2014, 20:43
I once worked with Mr & Mrs Anker's son Wayne. One customer was most upset when he was sent a report which listed the meeting participants only by initial and surname...

Ethel the Aardvark
15th Jan 2014, 21:55
My sister was in a maternity ward and she told me that the nurses were trying to strongly hint to a mrs Sprout in the next bed that she probably should not name her son Russell, would be nice to think she ignored them.
We had a Dr in Broome called fjuit kaken (can't remember exact spelling). Yes he was a physiatrist and owned a bonanza

Pinky the pilot
15th Jan 2014, 23:41
Had a friend with the first name of Vivian. His nickname when in the RAAF was "Jack.'

His middle name was Desmond.:(

16th Jan 2014, 00:05
"Some Children do 'ave 'em"

My mother wanted to call me Keith, my dad called on my passing cousin, aged around 6, how to spell Keith - and he got it wrong, so my dad said I'd be getting the cane at school all the time for mis-spelling my own name!

Now I have a name that everyone else mis-spells instead !

Ken Borough
16th Jan 2014, 01:03
There used to be a bloke in Qantas Finance whose surname was WANKE. I'd love to have known if the 'e' was silent!!

The RAN had an officer whose surname was FIRKIN - he did have a good sense of humour. A very funny old-time MP Fred Daley was invited, as the local MP, to a constituency wedding involving a Firkin. During an impromptu speech, Fred thanked the bride's parents but corrected himself to thank 'the entire Firkin family'. It's a true story I'm told. :}