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OFSO
7th Jan 2014, 18:11
Over the last weekend our central heating failed: to be precise the pilot light will light but won't stay lit.

Went down to see the local firm, representatives of both the thieving electricity supplier and the evil gas supplier. Took down photo of the boiler (so they know what spare to bring up), my name address, phone number, parent's birth certificates, eye of newt, hair of frog...well, you get the picture. All that they need to do the job.

Young lady says "our techie will phone or come straight up sometime today".

And did they ? Guess !

RJM
7th Jan 2014, 18:13
Ha ha. Some people have a 'bucket list'. OFSO has a 'b*stard list'.

rgbrock1
7th Jan 2014, 18:15
OFSO might have a bastard list but rgbrock1 has, in the words of that great band Marillion, Built-In Bastard Radar.

Oddly enough, said radar is constantly squawking. :}

Sunnyjohn
7th Jan 2014, 18:16
I keep tellin' you OFSO, you're in the wrong communidad. Our instantaneous gas heater went on the blink, went down the road to our local service engineer, he was there within 2 hours, knew what the problem was, had the spare part, fitted it, and it it is running perfectly. It did cost us 100 euros, mind!

RJM
7th Jan 2014, 18:17
Oddly enough, said radar is constantly squawking.

Well get off PPRuNe for a while. :}

500N
7th Jan 2014, 18:20
RGB

I like that. I call it "dick head radar" !!!

rgbrock1
7th Jan 2014, 18:25
Welcome back 500N. Happy New Year.

Signed,
Frozen Balls.

Mostly Harmless
7th Jan 2014, 18:35
http://motherhoodisbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/steve_buscemi_billy_madison.png

Lancelot37
7th Jan 2014, 19:28
New thermocouple needed? Fit it yourself?

ChrisVJ
7th Jan 2014, 19:38
Son VJ lives just South of Toronto, (Very cold there.)

Furnace wouldn't stay lit one day last week. Flame lit, 'waved' when the house fan came on. Guessed failure in heat exchanger. Called engineer.

Visited that afternoon. Yes heat exchanger. Old furnace might as well change it.

New furnace installed next morning Hooked up, working by afternoon. New plenum, exhaust vent and condensate pump all installed. Goodbye, thank you.

Pretty impressive given the problems they are having around there just now.

vulcanised
7th Jan 2014, 19:52
New thermocouple needed?


Precisely my thought as I read that.

Sometimes it can be temporarily revived by being brushed with an old toothbrush or lightly with a wire brush.

G-CPTN
7th Jan 2014, 20:22
Isn't that racially-offensive nowadays, Caco?

(teetering about in a kimono - not the words)

G-CPTN
7th Jan 2014, 20:36
I never mean to offendMy comment was tongue-in cheek - what ever are we coming to?

Soon we will be unable to represent Pirates (of Penzance) for fear of offending some vagabonds . . .

OFSO
7th Jan 2014, 20:39
Thanks for tip, Mr Vulcanised, I did try gentle cleaning of the thermocouple but to no avail. And any attempt to change it myself would result in me being shot at dawn by the Repsol Police making their next inspection. Mods and maintenance here can only be carried out by authorised dealers, who - of course - won't sell spare parts to mere mortals.

racedo
7th Jan 2014, 21:07
Once had a similar problem and went to pub, friend running pub said have something to eat and i'll have a look what I have, now he wasn't Corgi registered but spent years doing this stuff in Italy and Spain.

After nice dinner we walked back to house and 20 mins later boiler working.:)

lomapaseo
7th Jan 2014, 21:18
rgbrock1

Signed,
Frozen Balls.

The missus has a cure for that in her get-well book

- first bring a pot of water to a boil

I don't remember what follows because I found I had to rush to the loo for a quickie

Dushan
7th Jan 2014, 22:17
I keep a "not bastards" list. A lot easier to maintain as it is short, and you just keep crossing names off. Rarely I add names to it.

Lancelot37
7th Jan 2014, 22:27
Quote:
New thermocouple needed?

Precisely my thought as I read that.

Sometimes it can be temporarily revived by being brushed with an old toothbrush or lightly with a wire brush.
-------------------------------------------


Or simple bent closer to the flame. Advice is free all this week!!

meadowrun
7th Jan 2014, 23:58
Only opera I've seen live was "The Mikado".

Thought I should stop on a high note.

reynoldsno1
8th Jan 2014, 00:11
Last year came downstairs in the morning and found hallway carpet a bit soggy. Hot water tank under the stairs (mains pressure) had sprung leak. Called plumber at 0815, arrived 1000. Shelving removed, old tank removed, new ceramic tank installed, shelving reinstalled, finished by 1600. Owner of plumbing business is next door neighbour ...:E

G-CPTN
8th Jan 2014, 00:21
I 'managed' a temperamental thermocouple in an old-fashioned (very large) standalone boiler (furnace) for more than 4 years. Each autumn the pilot light would fail and occasionally throughout the winter season, too. Careful manipulation of the thermocouple position in the flame was necessary so that the pilot light would continue to burn and not simply go out as soon as the boiler demand ceased.

I'm certain that I saved a considerable sum of money as any examination by an engineer would have resulted in the installation being summarily condemned and, in the absence of spares, a new boiler being required.

SawMan
8th Jan 2014, 00:34
I keep a "not bastards" list. A lot easier to maintain as it is short, and you just keep crossing names off. Rarely I add names to it.

Me too. Funny, I can't find my own name there though. Oh well, serves me right (and sometimes it's a lot of fun being like that) :E

Loose rivets
8th Jan 2014, 04:00
I'll dig this out again. Really is the single most :ugh::ugh::ugh: moment.




"Used gas boiler 60 quid" in the local. 5' tall and 400+ lbs., it took three of us to heave it into the little boiler house.

Fantastic. Huge brass tap let me throttle it back to a reasonable flame without losing the flame colour I needed. Good old clunking technology.

But, after one stay here, I came back to a cold, cold house. We kept warm under an electric blanket, and I staggered down with the dawn to make the house a bit welcoming for Mrs R. The odd thing about my home was that the original gas pipe snaked round the entire house, and for some reason the pipe needed bleeding. It would have taken a month to do it through the pilot tube, so I undid the huge brass conical coupling. Well I was zoned close to spaced-outness.

The idea was, to wait until the smell of stale air turned to gas. Bad mistake...especially when you have left a candle burning on top of the boiler case.

There was a big ball of orange flame that lifted me quite gently out of the boiler house and plonked me into what was to become the laundry. I lifted myself up by what was to become the butler's sink, and ran out of what was to become the door.

I carried out fire drill with a new-found alertness.

When I took tea to the missus. Her eyes went from a sort of zone-bleary...through to a question mark...and then to saucers. "What the ***** have you done to yourself?" I went to the mirror.

"Fat lot of use getting a suntan when you don't have any eyebrows or significant hair." One thunk to oneself.

OFSO
8th Jan 2014, 05:50
Yes Mr Rivets. As an electronics engineer (retired) I'll do anything* electric, usually without taking the fuse out; I'll do some things aquatic, proceeding carefully; but I'll do nothing involving gas.

* Except RF work. Having seen the burns RF can produce I stay away from transmitters and the like.

onetrack
8th Jan 2014, 08:49
Caco - I prefer this version, to the original G&S one ... :E

I've got a Little List .. Eric Idle's version ..

As some days may happen
That a victim must be found
I've got a little list
I've got a little list
Of society offenders
Who might well be underground
And never would be missed
They never would be missed

There's weightlifters and bodybuilders
People of that sort
Bank robbers who retire to spend
The minute they get caught
Bishops who don't believe in God
Chief constables who do
All people who host chat shows
And the guests who's on them too
And customs men who fumbling through your underwear insist
I don't think they'd be missed
I'm sure they'd not be missed

Chorus: He's got them on the list
He's got them on the list
And then none of them be missed
And none of them be missed

There's the people with pretentious names
Like Justin, Trish, and Rob
And the gynaecologist
I've got him on the list
All muggers, joggers, buggers, floggers
People who play golf
They never would be missed
They never would be missed

All waitresses who make you wait
Accountants of all kinds
And actresses who kiss and tell
And wiggle their behinds
And pouncy little singers who to entertain us try
By dressing up like women and by singing far too high
And who on close observance must be either stoned or pissed
I don't think they'd be missed
I'm sure they not be missed

Chorus: He's got them on the list
He's got them on the list
And then none of them be missed
And none of them be missed

There's the beggars who write letters
From the inland revenue
And the gossip columnist
I've got him on the list
All critics and comedians and opera singers too
And none of them be missed
And none of them be missed

All traffic wardens, bankers,
Men who sell Venetian blinds
All advertising chappies
And Australians of all kinds
And nasty little editors whose papers are the pits
Who fill their rags with gossip
And huge and floppy ... ritz.
And girls who sell the stories
Of the Tories they have kissed
But you must have got the gist
'Cause none of them be missed

Chorus: You may put them on the list
You may put them on the list
And then none of them be missed
And none of them be missed

radeng
8th Jan 2014, 09:16
Nothing with RF, OFSO - provided you know what you are doing and don't believe that a simulator tells you all you need to know.

What do RF engineers call engineers doing digital electronics?

Bit freaks.

What do bit freaks call RF engineers?

"SIR!"


Back to heating - mine (oil fired) went down on New Year's day. Usual man not available, cowboy made a mess of it, usual man due back for the third time later today - it has a habit of running for about an hour and then failing!

Damn good job we haven't got the current temperatures of the US Mid West.

racedo
8th Jan 2014, 10:17
I'm certain that I saved a considerable sum of money as any examination by an engineer would have resulted in the installation being summarily condemned and, in the absence of spares, a new boiler being required.

Got that comment from an engineer regarding one of my houses, no spares.
Asked for details of part and went online. Found a nice old spares place in South West London who took all details and mailed it direct to property.
Now part was incorrect as changed valve from one manufacturer to another but when rang spares places they just said our fault as we should have asked for year of manufacturer, send new part at their cost and week later I dropped in first part to them.
As its a BTL property replaced boiler 2 years later but at the time I did't want to spend on new boiler.

Lon More
8th Jan 2014, 10:24
For Onetrack

The Mikado - The List (Eric Idle}

flying lid
8th Jan 2014, 10:44
The Gas Man Cometh - Flanders and Swann

'Twas on a Monday morning the gas man came to call. The gas tap wouldn't turn - I wasn't getting gas at all. He tore out all the skirting boards to try and find the main And I had to call a carpenter to put them back again.
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.

'Twas on a Tuesday morning the carpenter came round. He hammered and he chiselled and he said: "Look what I've found: your joists are full of dry rot But I'll put them all to rights". Then he nailed right through a cable and out went all the lights!
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.

'Twas on a Wednesday morning the electrician came. He called me Mr. Sanderson, which isn't quite the name. He couldn't reach the fuse box without standing on the bin And his foot went through a window so I called the glazier in.
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.

'Twas on a Thursday morning the glazier came round With his blow torch and his putty and his merry glazier's song. He put another pane in - it took no time at all But I had to get a painter in to come and paint the wall.
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.

'Twas on a Friday morning the painter made a start. With undercoats and overcoats he painted every part: Every nook and every cranny - but I found when he was gone He'd painted over the gas tap and I couldn't turn it on!
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.

On Saturday and Sunday they do no work at all; So 'twas on a Monday morning that the gasman came to call...

Lid

OFSO
8th Jan 2014, 10:55
Gas people persuaded me there's no point in repairing a 20 year old (or more - was in the house when we bought it) central heating boiler. I came home and took a few more panels off. Noticed the cable to the pilot light spark igniter is cracked: and when I push the button sparks flash around the inside of the unit - including to a nearby gas pipe. This does not seem good to me.

ex_matelot
8th Jan 2014, 10:59
Oddly enough, said radar is constantly squawking.

Point of order: Radars don't 'squawk'. IFF transponders do however, some even 'chirp'.

teeteringhead
8th Jan 2014, 11:01
G-CPTN

teetering about in a kimono ... It's all lies I tell you - it wasn't me! ;)

cockney steve
8th Jan 2014, 11:15
In the UK, It's illegal to do your own gas-fitting....having said that, it's not illegal to sell fittings and parts to unqualified persons...who may be just "gofers",-or may be DIY fitters with skill-levels ranging from dangerously incompetent , to better than the average Tradesman.

likewise, they've attempted to make a closed-shop of electrical installation.....weasel words such as "competent person" and then go on to define a member of some august trade-organisation....Bathroom and kitchen installation can only be done by a "Part P holder"...NOT SO!
Any such installation is supposed to be CERTIFIED by a part P holder...or by the local Council's building control.....except they don't have any qualified staff, so sub it out to a local contractor, bung their fee on top and nail your hat on....so much for "public service " and "Ratepayer-value"

Anyway, they have to catch you first :p Provided your workmanship is up to scratch, who's to tell how long the installation has been in place?

cornish-stormrider
8th Jan 2014, 12:01
Huh, I stack my domestic sparky skills right up there- until I need to know what the regs say or the correct bonding method and impedance checks

Anyone with a modicum of skill can replace an item

Doesn't mean the first one was correct
If you don't know 100% what you are doing then leave it the **** alone

Btw, I work with three phase mains, pneumatics, hydraulics and gas on a daily basis

How would you feel making a **** up that kills your significant other or your kids?

Not worth it .....

ricardian
8th Jan 2014, 12:22
Our oil-fired boiler works fine but is low on oil, sight glass is empty! Hopefully Highland Fuels will deliver 1,000 litres tomorrow. If they don't we have portable gas heaters and a gas stove so we won't freeze, and the immersion heater will supply hot water. Still very inconvenient though

OFSO
8th Jan 2014, 12:23
Provided your workmanship is up to scratch, who's to tell how long the installation has been in place?

Some of the Spanish organisations like Repsol - in fact, VERY MUCH like Repsol - are direct descendants of the Spanish Inquisition. And we all know that we didn't expect them, did we ? Every few years they burst into my house - they have Right of Entry if there's a gas installation inside - spend ages looking at everything and making asinine remarks such as I have to have 10cm by 10cm hole in my kitchen wall to allow air for the cooker to combust - said wall faces north, the direction from which the Tramontana blows regularly at up to 204kph, more usually 160kph, 10% humidity and around 5 in winter - and the like. They then prepare a spread sheet of "urgent alterations needed to my house", get me to sign it, and they leave. So far - so far ! - they have no powers of enforcing their decisions. Endesa, the electrics company, are almost as bad. But I show them pictures of satellites & spacecraft I helped launch and they leave me alone and don't ask about dodgy mods to the house wiring. So far. Telefonica ? Enough said. Too interested in making a huge profit out of S. American to keep their wires strung up in Spain.

I digress. Repsol are quite likely to spot a repair job and send a note to the local shop asking whether anyone has been in and bought this or that to use on a home repair.....

Still when all is said and done, gas goes bang louder than electrics and MUCH louder than water. I know my limitations.

TWT
8th Jan 2014, 12:34
Agree re gas OFSO.If only they could teach plumbers how to store their welding gases in their vehicles and not to light up a fag first thing in the morning when getting into their cars,then there would be less car and body parts spread around neighbourhoods.

Capetonian
8th Jan 2014, 12:39
Can I add an entire nation to my 'bastards' list. No, I suppose it's really only 99.9% of them that qualify.

G-CPTN
8th Jan 2014, 13:42
teach plumbers how to store their welding gases in their vehicles and not to light up a fag first thing in the morning when getting into their cars,then there would be less car and body parts spread around neighbourhoods. A while ago, a chap with a van carrying bottled gas cylinders exploded when the driver returned from the shop where he had just bought his smokes.

http://www.gassafeconsultants.co.uk/sites/default/files/Wolsingham%20Oct08.jpg

Welder dies in van blast - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1552777/Welder-dies-in-van-blast.html)

OFSO
8th Jan 2014, 15:03
And to end up this thread:

- Spares for my central heating have not been available since 2003.

- So it has to be a new unit.

- Which means a condensing boiler, nothing else allowed in Spain.

- Which is a problem as I don't have an outside wall for a balanced flue, only a long meandering stovepipe through my dungeons to the outside world.

Rep from Repsol (sic) gone away to think about it.

Capetonian
8th Jan 2014, 15:15
Perhaps Repsol should rebrand as RSol!

vulcanised
8th Jan 2014, 16:47
Look on the bright side.

I was compelled to dump my old boiler a couple of years ago, and now have a combi unit. Gas consumption falls to next to nothing when only hot water is in use and I was surprised to discover just how much that pilot light had been soaking up, Consumption for heating appears fairly similar however.

While you lose the warmth of the old unit you certainly won't miss all that unwanted heat in hot weather.

OFSO
8th Jan 2014, 19:52
While you lose the warmth of the old unit you certainly won't miss all that unwanted heat in hot weather

There was never any unwanted heat ! The pilot light and everything else was off for six months of the year since my unit only heated the house, not the hot water in the pipes.

However mea culpa....an apology to all the fans of incandescent lightbulbs - you were right and I was wrong...I'm now in the process of throwing away all my 1.5 watt LED screw-in lamps and reinstating the six 100w incandescents in order to keep the living room warm.....

Dushan
8th Jan 2014, 23:37
OFSO, we knew you'd come back:ok:

arcniz
9th Jan 2014, 02:09
However mea culpa....an apology to all the fans of incandescent lightbulbs - you were right and I was wrong...I'm now in the process of throwing away all my 1.5 watt LED screw-in lamps and reinstating the six 100w incandescents in order to keep the living room warm.....

'Tis a ballet, OFSO. LED's distinguish selves in Summer, and old-style toaster-lights do it better in Winter. Easier to remember if written down, maybe... debits on the left, etc.

If one goes the extra 1.6km & powers the LED thingies entirely off solar, the need for switches becomes iffy. A saving in that fer sure, eh?

Computing thingies make passable room heaters in winter also... the older the better. Seems there's always something one can find to do with an older gadget, if enough brainpower is applied to the effort.

Romeo Oscar Golf
9th Jan 2014, 02:15
Seems there's always something one can find to do with an older gadget, if enough brainpower is applied to the effort.
I knew my ex would feature somewhere:E

arcniz
9th Jan 2014, 02:21
I knew my ex would feature somewhere

Really hard to get 'em lit, tho.

OFSO
9th Jan 2014, 11:10
I've taken the b*stards off my B*stards List. They phoned round this morning to all the warehouses and managed to get me a new CH unit, to be delivered tomorrow to my front door. And Monday their people will come and fit it, including ten metres of stainless steel balanced flue to be run thru the dungeons. Not cheap, but after a week without heating, nothing is expensive.

LED bulbs replaced.

probes
10th Jan 2014, 08:49
And Monday their people will come and fit it
:E better wait till Mon and see if this 'will' will turn into 'have'