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racedo
29th Dec 2013, 20:50
BBC News - Condoms 'too big' for Indian men (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/6161691.stm)

Condoms too big apparently for Indian men.....................

One of those surveys that people will pay to have buried v quickly.

Course they could always cut the tops off them :E

tony draper
29th Dec 2013, 21:09
I think the funniest one and supposedly true happened in the fifties.
The Soviet Union due to the last five year plan had a dire shortage of rubber,ergo no condoms to be had in Moscow corner shops, clenching their teeth in outraged socialist fury they had to request of the filthy capitalist United States the possibility of purchasing twenty million of the said Items from them, but in order to save at least a little face, they requested them all to be eight inches long.
The USA complied but marked all the boxes MEDIUM.
:rolleyes:

Nervous SLF
29th Dec 2013, 21:10
BBC News - Condoms 'too big' for Indian men (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/6161691.stm)

Condoms too big apparently for Indian men.....................

One of those surveys that people will pay to have buried v quickly.

Course they could always cut the tops off them :E


Well that report first appeared in 2006 :)

Rossian
29th Dec 2013, 21:20
....was heard a few months ago which was a replay of a discussion on an Indian radio station between a guy defending the production of (no joke!) "vagina tightening creams" and why these products were vital for the sexual happiness of the population "especially after child birth".
He went on at some length (no pun) about their efficacy.

The other side of the discussion was from a VERY forthright lady who stunned her opponent with the statement "It's a well known fact amongst Indian women that Indian men have rather small penises, so maybe your company should redirect its effort into making a penis enlarging cream instead" Collapse of opposition!
It would appear that she was right.

The Ancient Mariner

Lon More
29th Dec 2013, 21:25
Inserting the penis into a wasp's nest before the vagina might help.

Al they have to do is discover a way to take away the pain but leave the swelling

Nervous SLF
29th Dec 2013, 21:27
Both of your comments made me laugh so much SWMBO came and asked what all the noise was about :ok::ok::ok:

ZH875
29th Dec 2013, 21:31
Hardly news, the first line of the page is:

Page last updated at 13:08 GMT, Friday, 8 December 2006

Loose rivets
29th Dec 2013, 22:36
My wife said, "Don't worry, dear. It's not how big it is, it's what you do with it." so I tied a paintbrush to it and painted this.




http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/walnaze/PpruNe/6a00d83451c3b369e200e54f6e8cee8833-800wi_zpsb6045dbf.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/walnaze/media/PpruNe/6a00d83451c3b369e200e54f6e8cee8833-800wi_zpsb6045dbf.jpg.html)

bosnich71
29th Dec 2013, 22:38
As I told the wife ....."Small Dick fast Arse"

Nervous SLF
29th Dec 2013, 22:49
Hardly news, the first line of the page is:

Page last updated at 13:08 GMT, Friday, 8 December 2006


Alas neither is yours - see post 3 :ok:

Mallan
30th Dec 2013, 07:33
It is not what's on the forecastle but what is in the cable locker. As we said in the RN.

Fliegenmong
30th Dec 2013, 08:31
Ever seen the size of my watch?...

Mac the Knife
30th Dec 2013, 09:05
Tightey-whitey vaginas: The boys are depending on us | Firstpost (http://www.firstpost.com/living/tightey-whitey-vaginas-the-boys-are-depending-on-us-413651.html)

:ok:

Mac

Lon More
30th Dec 2013, 09:09
18 again. Almost old enough to be a granny.

Blacksheep
30th Dec 2013, 09:40
Hah-hah! You owe me a new keyboard, rivets.

Lon More
30th Dec 2013, 09:42
at least no-one can accuse you of feeling a right tit Rivets

airship
30th Dec 2013, 17:48
The conclusion of all this scientific endeavour is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.

Leaving 40% of Indian men...?! :confused:

I imagine that the manufacturing of condoms (primary ingredient = latex, a natural substance obtained from making regular cuts - OUCH?!) in the trunks of rubber trees to drain the fluid, is more art than precise say, Germanic manufacturing methods. And much more to do with marketing.

Depending on the qualities of each batch, the mfr. will after suitable testing, in conjunction with the brand owner etc., determine the eventual destination of the condoms worldwide (eg.):

1) Extra-thick ones will be sent to the western USA, San Francisco etc. on priority.
2) Extra-small ones will be sent to the USA and western Europe etc. on priority.
3) Over-sized ones will be sent to Africa (excluding South Africa) on priority.

The rest is simply marketing (eg.): in western Europe, "Large" corresponds to the Intenational "Small-Medium".

If you need any further proof of all of this, you only need to order shoes from a US internet retailer. If you currently wear a "UK size" 9, then you'd better order a "US size" 10. Or else be prepared to be disappointed. Just like your lady-friends...?! ;)

Mac the Knife
30th Dec 2013, 18:41
"3) Over-sized ones will be sent to Africa (excluding South Africa) on priority."

So thats why they're all so tight!

:}

airship
30th Dec 2013, 19:03
So thats why they're all so tight! Are we still discussing condoms...?!

dubbleyew eight
31st Dec 2013, 08:39
condoms are made in two sizes. 49mm diameter and 52mm diameter.

if you ever try a typical thai condom most will find it as painful as a tourniquet I'm told. :E:E:E

maybe the indians should buy thai condoms.

B Fraser
31st Dec 2013, 09:11
Unless you have had a tourniquet on your old fellah, how would you know ?

If the legends are true then the Indians can always buy from the Chinese or the Japanese ;)

cattletruck
31st Dec 2013, 10:51
I once worked with this English EMC contractor who in his yoof sported a technicolor Mohawk - like I gave a sh!t to hear that.

The [email protected] would always want to remind us that he travelled on Concorde, owned a yacht, traveled on the Oriental Express, owned a black AmEx, owned a Mustang, blah, blah, blah, blah...

But it was noticed that he never pee'd at the urinal with the other lads, it was always the cubical for him.

I guess it's just a case of a small thing that drives a man.

Sir George Cayley
31st Dec 2013, 12:53
I always use the cubicle too because I have to stand back a bit and it upsets other guys.:ok:

SGC

B Fraser
31st Dec 2013, 13:07
I upset a girlfriend's parents as one morning, they found my name written in the snow outside their house.


It was their daughter's handwriting.


boom boom !