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View Full Version : What to buy wife for Xmas?


wakefield
13th Dec 2013, 02:13
At an absolute loss! Suggestions please!!

500N
13th Dec 2013, 02:16
How about giving us some help so we can help you.

Age,
Does she work, drive,
Interests,
Hobbies

Is she active ?

BenThere
13th Dec 2013, 02:20
Perfume, flowers, Louis Vuitton.

lomapaseo
13th Dec 2013, 02:27
You can't go wrong with this

she'l love you for it ... or least won't care if you're there or not

Trojan TV - TROJAN? Vibrations - Vibrators, Vibrator Rings and Condoms (http://www.trojanvibrations.com/category/trojan-tv/featured-video.do)

Lantern10
13th Dec 2013, 02:40
Lawn Mower?

galaxy flyer
13th Dec 2013, 02:52
I'm buying mine a Grade 7, Browning 725 O/U 12 gauge shotgun equipped with a digital trigger lock so she can't put it to use.

GF

500N
13th Dec 2013, 02:55
Since you are in Sydney, why not take her out to Rockpool
or one of the other top restaurants.

Dorfer
13th Dec 2013, 03:55
A new Jaguar, what else. :)

Ozzy
13th Dec 2013, 04:09
a dildo

Ozzy

500N
13th Dec 2013, 04:21
No shortage of those in Sydney ;)

Worrals in the wilds
13th Dec 2013, 05:02
IMO ignore the dildo suggestions. :ouch::}
Scent? Dinner for two of you (+1 500N)? Jewellry that you both choose? Go to a show?
Unoriginal, but safe.

500N
13th Dec 2013, 05:14
Is she adventurous ?

If it suits her and she might like it, a Harley Ride ?

People I know who have done it have loved it.

cavortingcheetah
13th Dec 2013, 05:26
A 32GB Apple iPhone 5s for A$999.00.
iPhone 5s - Buy new iPhone 5s in gold, silver and space grey - Apple Store (Australia) (http://store.apple.com/au/buy-iphone/iphone5s)
Or something from here:
Official Charm Jewellery & Bracelets | PANDORA Australia (http://www.pandora.net/en-au/)
It's expensive junk but women love the stuff and the charm bracelets allow for lots of little forgiveme opportunities.
Or how about something this range on offer?Swimming With Sharks | Shark Diving - Water Sports - Adrenalin (http://www.adrenalin.com.au/water/swimming-with-sharks/?gclid=CJeay_S5rLsCFabLtAodTEgAQg)
Or buy yourselves something to enjoy together on the verandah from this, the local representative of Habanos SA.
The Pacific Cigar Company (Aust) Pty Ltd. (http://www.pacificcigar.com.au)
Happy Christmas.

Pinky the pilot
13th Dec 2013, 06:09
Reminds me of the time an acquaintance of mine was asked how much did he intend to spend on his wife's Christmas present.

''About two years, with good behaviour'' was the reply.:ooh:

West Coast
13th Dec 2013, 06:12
Gift cards!

Easy, and its what she asked for. She's becoming more practical in her old age.

sitigeltfel
13th Dec 2013, 06:32
A 32GB Apple iPhone.
Or an iPad
Maybe an iPod
But not an iRon.

cavortingcheetah
13th Dec 2013, 07:30
Perhaps you feel you should return to your roots over the holy season?

Buy Online Aboriginal Arts in Australia | Central Art Aboriginal Art Store (http://www.aboriginalartstore.com.au)

Or you could search here for gifts and tokens were the departure location more appropriate:

Why were convicts transported to Australia? - Sydney Living Museums - Historic Houses Trust of NSW (http://www.hht.net.au/discover/highlights/kids_fact_sheets/why_were_convicts_transported_to_australia)

A multiple entry season ticket springs to mind?

Do please give us some clues? Rejection of ideas here so carefully contrived will not be construed as an offence but instead will be attributed to the usual unintelligible rude Australian humour with which Earls Court in London used to be so infected and which now exists almost entirely as a preserve of the national airline.

UniFoxOs
13th Dec 2013, 08:10
Gift certificate for a lobotomy?


Well it is JB, after all

cavortingcheetah
13th Dec 2013, 08:17
That is an excellent idea but be careful which neurosurgeon you select for the purpose. I have been informed frequently by my family that mine was not successful.

Captivep
13th Dec 2013, 09:04
You should worry! I've got a wife and girlfriend to buy for!

Ancient Mariner
13th Dec 2013, 09:28
Depends on what she is worth. Wifey is getting a pair of warm winter boots to keep her toes snug and warm, but only because the Christmas Calendar she gave me this year has contained a bottle of different Christmas Beer up to now.
Clever lady that wife of mine.
Per

Capetonian
13th Dec 2013, 09:35
It is impossible to buy a woman anything they will wear or use. If you buy something they suggested, you're unimaginative and boring. If they say 'perfume, you choose', and you get something, the answer will be 'but you know I don't like (whatever) type of perfume'. Clothing ditto, 'you know I never wear (some unheard of shade of colour) clothes.'

Cookery, weight loss, self improvement books/videos are an incitement to violence and a prelude to divorce.

Men are so simple to buy for. A bottle of whisky, case of wine, computer gadget, set of tools, date with a porn star, Maserati, weekend with the lads in Talinn ........ so many choices!

I hate Christmas!

Lon More
13th Dec 2013, 09:39
No longer married but the GF is getting a, as part of her present, a free Yuftie# for each month of the coming year



* "Yuftie dae that." aka known as "Honey does" in backward parts of the world.

MagnusP
13th Dec 2013, 09:40
You should worry! I've got a wife and girlfriend to buy for!

Buy one a strap-on, recoup your money by selling tickets to watch. Simples.

DType
13th Dec 2013, 11:27
Always got the females in my family gift tolens, because they got so much more bang per buck in the January sales.
Och Aye!
But they said I was unromantic!

racedo
13th Dec 2013, 11:53
Dtype

Though Scotsmen always bought their ladies Lip Stick...................they know they will get it back off them..................

Coat and Hat yeah I know.

oxenos
13th Dec 2013, 12:25
An alarm clock - to make sure she brings you your cup of tea in bed punctually every morning.

Cessnafly
13th Dec 2013, 12:56
Slippers and a dildo.

If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go a f**k herself.

Capetonian
13th Dec 2013, 13:00
I suggested something for better sex. Her name is Kasia, she's Polish, and she's 24. Unfortunately my suggestion was not accepted. Back to the drawing board.

I even tried to get this passed on the basis that as she's from a small village just south of Warsaw, she's a good Catholic girl, but sometimes you just know there's no way you can win the argument!

airship
13th Dec 2013, 13:32
Following on from Capetonion and his un-orthodox take on the subject "What to buy, 'wife for Xmas'?", here is my more Orthodox contribution:

"Give her cash (not your your credit card), to take advantage of the usual January sales. She can choose what she wants herself, have them wrapped up etc., and in good time for 7th January...?!"

PS. You should have married a good Russian / Ukranian girl! :uhoh:

OFSO
13th Dec 2013, 13:55
You should have married a good Russian / Ukranian girl!

Overheard years ago in Germany: two older colleagues -

"Forget those Thai women. The Russian girls are perfect. Firstly they never want expensive holidays back home, secondly they come with a complete set of winter clothing, and finally they can manage the family budget on DM50 a week housekeeping".

Cyber Bob
13th Dec 2013, 13:59
If you have no idea of what to buy your wife for Xmas, then you haven't been listening to her for the past 11 months.

So, now that you're on the back foot I'd give Victoria Secrets a miss especially anything in Red. That's what you'll want, not her.

Before everyone comments along the line of 'What's wrong with that?' - you need to ask yourself this question:

Q. Do you want to h*mp your fist for a month?
A. Thought not

So at this late stage, Jewellery is a safe bet - but you'll have to part with some hard earned.

Moral of the story
Listen to your wife!! - Nah, just plan ahead

Capetonian
13th Dec 2013, 14:08
I know several people who married Russian/ex CIS or Thai girls and in all cases but one it has ended in unmitigated and expensive disaster as they (the girls that is) turned out to be money grabbing whores and into one or more of the following : drugs, prostitution, gambling, running up massive debts, social security fraud, or bigamy.

This is not directed at people of those nationalities, but at the type of girls who target such men.

rgbrock1
13th Dec 2013, 14:15
What to buy the wife for Christmas?


A .50 cal machine gun with tripod? :ok:

racedo
13th Dec 2013, 14:24
I know several people who married Russian/ex CIS or Thai girls and in all cases but one it has ended in unmitigated and expensive disaster as they (the girls that is) turned out to be money grabbing whores and into one or more of the following : drugs, prostitution, gambling, running up massive debts, social security fraud, or bigamy.

This is not directed at people of those nationalities, but at the type of girls who target such men.

True

Do know a few married to same and think the guys got lucky, nice people. But then again the wives tend to be degree educated who ended up meeting a western guy at a professional level rather than seeking pursuit of same via bars etc.

4mastacker
13th Dec 2013, 14:29
Mrs 4ma gets a Lego Technic kit every year - she's a Lego nut. Plus a decent smelly (Estee Lauder, YSL, etc) and a bit of jewellery. It's a basic format but it works and saves me loads of stress every year. All I have to do is add a couple of bits n bobs and jobs a good'un.

Capetonian
13th Dec 2013, 14:31
But then again the wives tend to be degree educated who ended up meeting a western guy at a professional level Exactly right, racedo, good point. The couple in the one successful marriage I know of (white South African man/Thai woman) met in a professional capacity whilst both were working on an IT project in Singapore.

The others were bars or dating sites.

stillpilot
13th Dec 2013, 14:32
I have no wife:=

airship
13th Dec 2013, 14:59
So why are you contributing here, stillpilot?

Obviously, for the same reason as I am (I have no wife either). And just to add a pinch of "chilli-powder" to the thread... :ok:

rgbrock1
13th Dec 2013, 15:19
airship wrote:

Obviously, for the same reason as I am (I have no wife either).

Really? What a shock. I can't imagine why either. :E

vulcanised
13th Dec 2013, 15:23
It's time to splash out!

Give her the fleece lined rubber gloves.

OFSO
13th Dec 2013, 15:28
Buy her a Romanian - they will go out and forage for her !

Romanians arrested at seven times rate of Britons in London | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2522888/Romanians-arrested-seven-times-rate-Britons-London.html)

airship
13th Dec 2013, 15:34
Ooooh rgbrock1, you do get so bitchy sometimes?! That's quite hurtful, so close to Xmas and everything...! Just because you might have deleted your "coming out" post, doesn't mean we don't love you anymore.

PS. Some of us might indeed have to make do with pudicats, awaiting the day we get our very own "rgbrock1". Someone willing to bend over and tie his shoe-laces, in return for a Xmas surprise...?! :)

Oooops, sorry rgbrock1, "wrong thread"...?! Attacked the Scotch at 12.30pm, now over 4 hours later... :zzz:

Dak Man
13th Dec 2013, 15:34
Health Spa voucher has always ended in a result for me.

rgbrock1
13th Dec 2013, 15:40
airship:

Ah, so you do have access to a pussy. Cat. Hmmm. Whatever floats your boat I suppose.

MagnusP
13th Dec 2013, 15:57
Let her feel glamorous at the sink...

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51qXuo0vRxL.jpg

rgbrock1
13th Dec 2013, 16:06
Glamorous at the sink, MagnusP? You sexist you.

Know why women normally have smaller feet than a man? So they can stand closer to the sink and stove. :}:}

airship
13th Dec 2013, 16:35
rgbrock1, very luckily, we both share a sense of humour?! We should someday get together and discuss how we're going to co-jointly rule the planet. But not this evening, the pudicats are crying-out for their dose of Friday shrimps (fish day)... :)

airship
13th Dec 2013, 17:11
"No woman, no cry". Or as I'd prefer to express "Sweet JC, it hurts me so to be alone"...

"We Miss You John Denver" Features rare song "No One" - YouTube

A few less presents to buy-ahaaaaahah-ahaaahaaaaah. Doesn't mean that we're all just unworthy degenerates, however much you try to bury us all in the under-growth. :sad:

BenThere
13th Dec 2013, 17:28
I'm a dog lover, but I like cats, too.

When you get down to it, the only being in the world who will love you no matter what is your dog.

When I come home from a 4 or 5 day trip my marvelous 10 year old dog still greets me at the door with a joy so unbounded I can't express how uplifting it is.

So let me make a plug. If you're considering a pet, please try to rescue one who might otherwise be doomed. If you're looking for a charity, consider one that efficiently aids cats and dogs.

I think canines are noble, loving, and innocent; they also respond to our attention and training in such magnificent ways. They can be trained to assist such as epileptics, detecting seizures before they occur. They can lead blind people. They nobly stand ready to serve us in so many ways.

It is we who should be worthy of them.

B Fraser
13th Dec 2013, 19:03
"Men are so simple to buy for. A bottle of whisky, case of wine,"


errrrrm, isn't that just part of the weekly shopping ?

11Fan
13th Dec 2013, 19:11
Fortunately, my wife has come to the conclusion that if she wants something in particular, buy it, wrap it, and then make the gift tag thing say from me to her. That way we can both act surprised.

I don't really care to shop but since her father was the same way as I am and her mother did all the shopping, my wife (Thank God) has picked up the same trait. I do get her a nice card though.

That said, she doesn't have to work so she has plenty of time to shop, although she does most of it on-line and has it delivered.

This would also explain the line of UPS and FedEx trucks on my street.

rgbrock1
13th Dec 2013, 19:13
11Fan:

Like your wife, I do 99.99% of my Christmas shopping on line and have everything delivered. I can't be bothered with the craziness at shops/malls and can usually save some $$$ on non-taxed items.

11Fan
13th Dec 2013, 19:17
How ya doing rg? I'm buried here. Hired two new lads to pick up the slack. If you follow the news at all, you've seen what's going on. Haven't had much time to spend on PPRuNe of late. Give my best to the little missus my friend. :ok:

OFSO
13th Dec 2013, 19:19
isn't that just part of the weekly shopping ?

Only if you're married. If not you sit in Tesco's and drink it.

500N
13th Dec 2013, 19:22
rgb

Even easier is to just wipe Xmas off altogether and do something else.

Yes, it is harder if you have a wife and kids but the last 10 - 20 years
it has just gone OTT.

Although I must admit my GF has changed me a bit towards being
more accommodating !!!

Last night, I even showed her the Canadian Airline Xmas Video
that went viral :rolleyes:

rgbrock1
13th Dec 2013, 19:25
500N, the Scrooge, wrote:

Even easier is to just wipe Xmas off altogether and do something else.

I'd have a hard time explainin' that one to my kids, 500N.

What are you, Scrooge incarnate?

500N? Is that you?

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2012/12/17/1355745070637/Actor-Jim-Carrey-as-Ebene-008.jpg

11Fan
13th Dec 2013, 19:26
I was thinking of getting my wife an 18 year old Pool Boy but then I forgot we don't have a pool. :E

rgbrock1
13th Dec 2013, 19:27
11Fan:

I will do. And, yes, I've been following the news so have a pretty good idea about why you're buried.

Come tomorrow I'll be buried too. In 8-10" of the white stuff falling from the sky. Courtesy of those damn Canadians who get some sort of insane delight at sending snow this way. Buggers!

11Fan
13th Dec 2013, 19:30
Blame Dushan.

See ya pal. Gotta get back to the kids.