View Full Version : Death Wish - Impersonating cop for DONUTS

14th Nov 2013, 08:20
Man Arrested for Impersonating Cop to Get Discount on Donuts (http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2013/11/13/Man-Arrested-for-Impersonating-Cop-to-Get-Discount-on-Donuts)

You have to wonder at some people...........

14th Nov 2013, 11:21
I'm sure the cops understand, he may even get sent to the Police Academy. :E

14th Nov 2013, 12:08
Must be a Florida-thing because I do know that for many police departments the new thing is not munching on donuts but bagels. Which is probably for more healthier than fried fat/donuts!

Dak Man
14th Nov 2013, 12:09
If I dress up as a donut will the "caps" respond quicker?

14th Nov 2013, 12:12
Dak Man:

Do NOT do that. Not only would the cops respond quicker they would eat you.
Then again, you are Canadian. Maybe not. :}

tony draper
14th Nov 2013, 12:37
Always thought the Donut to be a rather bland sweetmeat,the ones I get dont have a hole in the middle and are spherical in aspect, taking advantage if this development they flood the interior with dairy cream and strawberry jam.
Most good, much better than those tasteless sugar coated toroids.

14th Nov 2013, 12:46
They have a doughnut here called a crueller (not sure of the spelling) which are horrible. They are more like a cake. The best doughnuts ever were the jam one from Lyons Corner House. When I worked in London, I used to buy one every morning on my way to work. One doughnut product over here which I don't understand is called a doughnut hole. It's the bits they cut out of the ring doughnuts. They should be called doughnut centres or middles. A hole is a negative space. I also have a problem with calling bottled beer "draft" (pedant mode off) I await incoming! :)

14th Nov 2013, 12:56
Tony D:

A donut here in the U.S. is predominately fried dough with lots of sugar included. Has nothing to do with sweetmeats at all.


You are referring to a Cruller. Is this what you're referring to?


Regardless, they are disgusting and tasteless.

14th Nov 2013, 12:59
I'll wager Chuckie never got his law enforcement discount donuts, because he didn't look fat enough! :suspect:

14th Nov 2013, 13:05

Fat cops? Say it ain't so!!!


14th Nov 2013, 13:06
rgb-yup, that's the one

14th Nov 2013, 13:08
Like I wrote earlier, limeygal, Crullers are nasty, tasteless blobs of sugared something or other. I'm probably biased against them, though, because my maternal uncle used to eat boxes of them. At one sitting. :yuk::yuk::yuk:

14th Nov 2013, 13:14
for many police departments the new thing is not munching on donuts but bagels

So in predominantly Hispanic areas, do the police not know whether they are carmen or cohen?

Dak Man
14th Nov 2013, 13:14
This is the best Doughnut that I've ever eaten

A Tim Horton's (that's a Canuckistani chain) Boston Cream

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ4akrJuh7vG63iP3Ne5rtguF32zzkOzEo81a3whJM Gq60biUV1yg

14th Nov 2013, 13:16
Dak Man:

Upon gazing at your "Boston Cream" donut I suddenly started having heart palpitations and my blood sugar went soaring stratosphere-wards as well.

I wonder how many calories are in something like that? 23 quad-zillion?

When you eat something like that do you also order a diet coke? :}:}:}

14th Nov 2013, 13:20
WRT donuts (or doughnuts) I prefer the freshly-cooked slender ones available at outdoor events rather than the stodgy ones sold in shops.

Dak Man
14th Nov 2013, 13:20
A question for our North American cousins, what is kneaded to make bread?

14th Nov 2013, 13:23

According to Mrs 4ma's first law of dieting, there are no calories in any food which someone else has purchased. Calories only exist in food which one has purchased ones-self.

Therefore, providing that Mrs Dak Man purchased that doughnut, then the answer to your question would be 'Nil'. ;)

14th Nov 2013, 13:27
We've just got back from a week in NYC had a fab time went to Saint Andrews bar just off Time Square every night and took in a Rangers game at MSG, only one complaint they serve English beer ( Bass) freezing cold.

14th Nov 2013, 13:27
Interesting 4ma... Mrs. rgb, on the other hand, is of a different school of thought in that EVERYTHING has too many calories in it. Thus, the portions one eats should be as minimal as possible. And fat is to be avoided like the bubonic plague.

Which is probably why mrs. rgb stand 5'4" tall and weighs but 110lbs. Of which have of that weight is probably in her tits. But that's not a bad thing. :ok:

14th Nov 2013, 13:31

I thought I saw you! (Kidding.) I knew you were scheduled for a trip over yonder but wasn't sure when. How'd you like the frigid weather?!!!

St. Andrews bar off Times Square is very nice indeed. I'm surprised that you're surprised about the cold-ass Ale you received: if it isn't cold enough to freeze your teeth, it isn't worthy! It's the way it is here. I guess it comes about because of "beer" like Budweiser (Butt-wiper), Coors or Miller which MUST be served frigid cold in order to disguise the taste of camel piss. Thus, it's assumed that all beer must be served equally cold.

Glad you had a good time of it though. did you visit the 9/11 memorial down town?

14th Nov 2013, 13:45
Yes RG very sad my mrs was in tears, did the whole tourist thing bloody cold though it was snowing at the top of the ESB, locals very friendly taxi drivers are lunatics, spent 2000 expensive yes but can't wait to go back, it was buzzin.

Oh and got stopped in the street by some well dressed guy not a panhandler he asked if I was Jewish (I'm not) my wife nearly pissed herself laughing :ok:

14th Nov 2013, 14:19

If you were at the top of the ESB and it was snowing then you were there on Tuesday, 12 November! (The day the Canadians decided to unleash some white stuff on us as a precursor to the coming winter. The bastards.)

Yes, the 9/11 memorial is indeed somber and/or upsetting.

Do you look Jewish? Did you wear a name tag with David Cohen on it? :}

Taxi drivers? "Oh yes, very good. Very good sir. Oh yes." Is that about right?

Having grown up in NYC I remember when your average taxi driver's name was similar to Frank Marino or Giuseppe D'Amato or Genaro Abenante.
Now, your average taxi driver in NYC has a last name with 53,321 consonants and two vowels. And thinks running pedestrians over is great fun. Like back in the ol' country.

14th Nov 2013, 14:28
Doughnuts.....specifically of the proper "jam" variety, not the inferior foreign toroidal type. If you place a jam doughnut in the microwave and give it 15 seconds at 800 watts, you end up with the most wonderful confection; far better than the unheated variety by a long way.
However...don't try for 20 seconds, unless you have a fireproof mouth with soft tissue unaffected by volcanic jam!

14th Nov 2013, 14:36

Oh yes, I think most people have found out the hard way !

And the Jam takes 10 times longer to cool down than the dough.

Dak Man
14th Nov 2013, 14:38
Is it worse than the chin cheese burn that one gets from a nuked pizza, I experienced that and I thought that Mrs DM was going to go into premature labour - as she was laughing so hard at me.

14th Nov 2013, 14:43

I think most men have experienced it as well :O

I like your description "chin cheese burn" :ok:

14th Nov 2013, 14:44
I had been in America before but took Madsmum on her first trip westwards, on holiday to Canadialand. Anyway on the first day there we are driving from Calgary to Edmonton, fairly early, so I suggest we stop for a coffee and a doughnut. Pull off into a mall type place and stop at Tim Hortons.

MadsMum never did get her doughnut - she just couldn't make up her mind which of the hundreds of different varieties to try.

14th Nov 2013, 15:07
Dak Man wrote:

Is it worse than the chin cheese burn that one gets from a nuked pizza, I experienced that and I thought that Mrs DM was going to go into premature labour - as she was laughing so hard at me.

Yes, that is one of life's many travesties, isn't it? I could never figure out why women in general think it hilarious when something like the above happens to us yet if you laugh hysterically at them when misfortune befalls they get all uppity and act insulted. Why is that? Bitches. :}

Dak Man
14th Nov 2013, 15:11
She went into non pain relieved labour soon after so I had the last laugh at the bitch.......my chin is tingling just thinking about it.

14th Nov 2013, 15:16

Because men are so inept at using things like Microwaves,
1 minute does it all and if it needs more, give it another minute :O

But I agree with you.

14th Nov 2013, 15:21

I'm not just talking about microwaves here. No matter what misfortune might bestow itself upon us men, women in general tend to find such misfortunes rather amusing. Whether it's scalding hot pizza sauce on your face, tripping over and falling on your ass, cutting oneself shaving so that the blood coming out resembles Niagara Falls, it all seems rather amusing to the "fairer sex."

Yet if the same thing were to happen to them, then it's not at all funny and you're damned for even contemplating laughing.

Bitches. The lot of 'em.

14th Nov 2013, 15:25
Yep, spot on, although I generally don't fall over on my ass like Rangers tend to do :O

And my GF hates it when I laugh at her, gets really pissed off if she does something stupid and I laugh.

14th Nov 2013, 15:31
I'm not allowed to have donuts. Wife won't let me because
it puts weight on me faster than beer does.

Similar to RGB's, my other half's tits comprises 3/4 of her
weight but she's of the breed where she can eat a whole 3
course meal and not put on an ounce of fat. I on the other
hand will put on 2kg by just sitting there watching her eat.

14th Nov 2013, 15:33
The Mrs. is the same. If I dare laugh at some self-inflicted misfortune then i get a: The Look and b: the silence treatment. WTF is wrong with them? (Aside from the fact they are of the female gender?)

Rangers don't trip over their own asses, 500N.* What they do is kick asses. :ok:

* caveat. Unless you happen to be like the Private First Class (PFC) Ranger who, upon exiting with Chalk 1 in a Black Hawk chopper in Mogadishu, forgot that he was supposed to hold onto the rope (fast-rope) and plummeted to the ground below requiring his big dumb ass to be medevaced out before even firing a shot in anger.

tony draper
14th Nov 2013, 15:45
I could eat a fifty gallon oil drum stuffed to the top wi cream dohnuts and not put on a ounce, I am one of the blessed.
It's genetic you see,the plan went wrong, all you folks with bad genes were supposed to die out when we first left Africa,but they cocked up the program and it killed all the Neanderthals instead.

14th Nov 2013, 15:50
Tony D:


14th Nov 2013, 15:52
You are a prick for posting that :O

"and it killed all the Neanderthals instead."

No you didn't, well, at least two are still alive, RGB and myself
and I could add a few more names :O :ok:

tony draper
14th Nov 2013, 16:02
Actually new research indicates we all contain betwix 1% to 4% Neanderthal DNA in our make up, so there must have been a modicum of inter species nooky going on.
I blame the French.

14th Nov 2013, 16:05
That may be Tony D, but there are some who walk amongst us who are 99% ape.
Naked apes, but apes nonetheless.

tony draper
14th Nov 2013, 16:12
The Neaderthals had larger brains than us they were extremely strong and could stand the cold much better than we puny Humans,sounds like the ideal kind of chap for your unit Mr Rock.
Actually tiz a great mystery as to why those tough buggas perished and we weedy creatures flourished

14th Nov 2013, 16:15

RGB has been singled out for medical research when he dies ;)

The last of a kind before the SNAGs took over :O

14th Nov 2013, 18:57
Yep, spot on, although I generally don't fall over on my ass like Rangers tend to do http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/embarass.gif


Sounds like you calling RGB a pussy........

Pulling up seat to watch fight :E

14th Nov 2013, 19:00
Actually tiz a great mystery as to why those tough buggas perished and we weedy creatures flourished

They wanted to soar like Eagles, forgetting of course that Weasels don't get sucked into Jet Engines.

14th Nov 2013, 19:08

Nope, that's not what 500N is calling me i.e., a pussy.

See, 500N knows better. He knows very well that this pink tutu former US Army Ranger*, if called a pussy, would find his way over to Aussie land, find 500N's Australia-transplanted British ass and kick said ass for a month of Sundays.

Dont'cha, 500N? :}:}:}

*whereas 500N is a bright red ballet tight-wearing former Aussie SF officer

14th Nov 2013, 19:23
I have a confession. For years, the staff at The Saajan, Curry Mile, Rusholme, have obviously seen the short hair, tall stature, flat feel and gormless look, and have always asked, "Police Discount" on payment.

Always had a touch of guilt, nodding, when I walked out with me free poppadoms. I promptly stopped when one night, the whole of GMP's finest from the local "TAG" team gave me that, "he's not a copper" look.

14th Nov 2013, 19:28

Yep :ok: :O :p

And everyone forgets, as much as everybody hangs shyte on everyone else,
be it Navy, Army, Marines or Air Force, it's only because at that point in time
no common enemy exists.

So as soon as RGB and I got together, the Pink Tutu wearing Ranger and
the Red tighted SF officer would run down the street looking for all those
Lefty, Greeny, do gooder wankers, a common enemy of everyone and since
so many exist, we will be in heaven for years !!!

And even if we did run out, I would still have to take him out to experience
the huntin', shootin' and fishin' of Australia and return to the Neanderthal ways :ok: :O

ain't that right RGB ?


14th Nov 2013, 19:33
Spot on 500N*, spot on.

(*or, Brutha 500N as some of the NYC natives say.)

14th Nov 2013, 21:42
Spot on 500N*, spot on.

(*or, Brutha 500N as some of the NYC natives say.)

Brutha from another mother.........................

Solid Rust Twotter
15th Nov 2013, 07:12
Doughnuts? Hah! I blaspheme in your sister's moustache...

Koeksisters are the real thing.


The person who opens a take out koeksister joint in the USA is going to make a killing. Sugar, grease and carbs that make doughnuts look like rangers in pink tutus.:E

Ancient Mariner
15th Nov 2013, 07:49
Donuts, doughnuts, koeksisters....bah!
This is the real thing. "Smultringer", eaten warm with dripping lard. No sweet fillings, no topping, no nuking.
Enjoyed at Yule tide only (by us, others may beg to differ).

http://i1339.photobucket.com/albums/o702/perebs/smultringer_zps4b3922e8.jpg (http://s1339.photobucket.com/user/perebs/media/smultringer_zps4b3922e8.jpg.html)

15th Nov 2013, 10:09
Weasels don't get sucked into Jet Engines

Hang about! According to Brick's book, weasels have their OWN jet engines.

15th Nov 2013, 10:16
Not sure what it is called or which nationality but I think it is Greek.

They have this ? pastry ? cake rectangular thing that sits in a tray of Honey
and has I think some nuts on top. Very sweet, very delicious.

tony draper
15th Nov 2013, 10:27
Got a box of those Stollen slices for xmas, buggah xmas, they were all gone in two days.
Likewise the box on sweet mince pies,where confectionery is concerned I am devoid of will power.

15th Nov 2013, 10:33
That will be Baklava, food of the gods.

Now you are talking,can't beat a healthy Mediterranean diet


15th Nov 2013, 10:33
500N: baklava?

Edit: Beaten to it!

15th Nov 2013, 10:49
I love Greece and the Greek attitude , sat in a Taverna on Thassos big NO SMOKING sign on the table so I got my ciggies out and headed for the door.
Where you go asked the owner , just outside to smoke says I.

"It's no problem" came the reply "We move the sign"

15th Nov 2013, 11:06
Bagel heads :yuk:


Solid Rust Twotter
15th Nov 2013, 11:22
The glaringly obvious question here is why?:confused:

15th Nov 2013, 11:25
The glaringly obvious question here is why?

They like bagels?

Seriously, I ask myself that question too, probably related to that Houdini thread. If I'm a simple person then so be it.

Dak Man
15th Nov 2013, 12:10
The bagel is there to provide coverage of the cream cheese that occupies their cranial cavities.

15th Nov 2013, 19:18
The bagel is there to provide coverage of the cream cheese that occupies their cranial cavities.

Let's not go there ...

Mmmmm, Baklava.. with a proper Greek coffee, a glass of Metaxa 7 star and a nice smoke. Heaven :ok:

15th Nov 2013, 19:56
There you go .