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Thomas coupling
12th Nov 2013, 19:39
Things I'm going to ban when I'm president.
None of this politics boll*x, let's get down to some serious rules and laws:

1. Ban all broad sheet newspapers because they misbehave in tight spots and when there is a breeze. In particular when you turn the page it doesn't fold along the existing fold line.
2. I'm going to ban the act of giving loose change and the receipt and the notes all together after you have bought something. The new law will insist that notes first (so you can put in wallet) then receipt and then finally after a short pause while you compose yourself - the coins for your pocket.
3. I'm going to make the use of two lanes compulsory when approaching roadworks - right up to the closing of the lane bollards.
4. I'm going to make it the law that persons telephoning someone must first ask if it is OK to continue and if the recipient has time to talk. There will be a 3 year hanging for anyone who automatically commences a conversation without these introductory statements.
5. 5 years in the clink for indicating AND manouevring at the same time. There MUST be a delay of 3 seconds after the indicator has been selected.
6. Any company that produces wrapping paper that is too difficult to open will be prosectued.
7. Shoppers who loiter with intent are to be forcibly removed and held overnight in abandoned warehouses without light or heat for 24hrs.
8. Spam e-mailers and junk mailers are to be given 1 years hard labour for every individual they target.
9. WAG's are NOT allowed to drive cars with an engine capacity > 1500cc.
10. Overweight people will not be allowed to drink alcohol or go on holiday until they return to their ideal weight. [Ideal weight is when you look down, breath out and can see your willy}.

Next.............................................

racedo
12th Nov 2013, 19:41
10. Overweight people will not be allowed to drink alcohol or go on holiday until they return to their ideal weight. [Ideal weight is when you look down, breath out and can see your willy}.

So you are expecting to get elected after disenfranchising all the females or is there a health service policy of adding an attachment ?

alisoncc
12th Nov 2013, 20:23
Can I add a number 11.

The removal of all bunkers on golf courses.

wings folded
12th Nov 2013, 20:55
Not a fan of golf, how about:

The removal of all bunkers on [deleted] golf courses. :hmm:

tony draper
12th Nov 2013, 21:15
I would make everybody wear their underpants on the outside of their trousers.:uhoh:
Just because I could of course.:rolleyes:

rgbrock1
12th Nov 2013, 21:19
I would ban ALL Prius automobiles from the road, all Minivans and any model type of Subaru.

I would also ensure that the former owners of the aforementioned vehicles were summarily executed on the side of the road before their vehicle was confiscated.

obgraham
12th Nov 2013, 21:21
Thomas:
You'll never get elected with that agenda. Much too Lefty.
I suggest you start a revolution, and then appoint yourself Emperor. Or maybe Lord Protector. You need enforcement powers.

radeng
12th Nov 2013, 21:35
No, when I'm president....

Anyone can do anything that doesn't annoy me.

Like making crap fizz beer, or stuff called lager that doesn't meet German standards including being lagered for at least 30 days.

Or who move near an airport and then complain about noise

Or who go for the latest electronic gizmos and pollute the radio spectrum

There's a few other things. Awards to that rara avis, the BMW driver who not only has on his car, but actually uses, indicators.....

Thomas coupling
12th Nov 2013, 21:49
11. All tin cans must be openable without the use of a can opener.
12. Tipping in restaurants MUST be optional.
13. I'm banning the number 13.
14. All Americans will be prevented from saying: "Have a good day y'all".
15. All Americans will have to speak with an English accent once they have cleared customs.
16. All Americans will be banned.
17. The words: "warever", "glamping", "mare" will be restricted in use only between 9 and 5 pm.
18. Mobile fones and IPads will be confiscated if seen in restaurants and public houses.
19. Companies are not to provide telephone key pad options. The penalty for failing to comply with rule 19 is an additional levy of 100% of their profits. A human being is to respond to the caller within 10 seconds.
20. Obese women are not allowed access to all public places unless they grow 1 example of facial hair from the following list: (a) Moustache. (b) beard (c) joined up eyebrows.

Next week I will decree what WILL be allowed.

SilsoeSid
12th Nov 2013, 22:54
10. Overweight people will not be allowed to drink alcohol or go on holiday until they return to their ideal weight. [Ideal weight is when you look down, breath out and can see your willy}.

Will we be forced to shave ...
... or will a centre parting prior to the test be permissible?

Will sitting down during the test be allowed?

etc etc :E

SilsoeSid
12th Nov 2013, 22:59
18. Mobile fones and IPads will be confiscated if seen in restaurants and public houses.

21. Those that cannot correctly spell the abbreviated word for telephone, or use the correct trade name for a world wide recognised product, will not be allowed into restaurants or public houses until they learn how to do so.
:ok:

alisoncc
12th Nov 2013, 23:14
I would ban ALL Prius automobiles from the road, all Minivans and any model type of Subaru

Boo hoo, I like my Subbie. It's a fairly recent Outback model, and it's ever so nice. :ouch:

onetrack
13th Nov 2013, 00:45
There's an awful lot of you would-be presidents that wouldn't last a week before you were promptly assassinated - because you were trying to be Emperor, as well as President. :(

mikedreamer787
13th Nov 2013, 03:15
Then why hasn't Putin been bumped off yet Onetrack?

500N
13th Nov 2013, 03:31
I'd ban all Greenies from the earth but because that is unlikely,
I'd ban them from opening their mouths and sprouting BS,
decreeing that they have to put it in writing and submit
it for review before it is published but never verbally !

mikedreamer787
13th Nov 2013, 03:52
Anyway if I was Head Honcho Supremo -

1. All small-cupped women to get boob jobs

2. No drilling, banging of nails in walls and other deliberate general home racket-making till after 12 noon

3. Restore "and promise to love honor and obey" back into her marriage vows

4. All pubs open 24/7 365 days a year. Smoking bar lounges reestablished

5. No Airbuses. Banned in toto. A310s allowed case by case

6. No bank fees/charges/ripoffs for ordinary plebs

7. Blondes banned from taking up important or any key position in any company

8. All ties to be handed in to be burned. Tie manufacturers to close their businesses in 30 calendar days. Bow tie makers in 24h.

9. All beaches to permit topless bathing. Grannies allowed on same beaches but fully clad in arab garb

10. All kids to stay at school and matriculate.

11. Cannes festival to include Best Porn Film category

12. Capital punishment restored for brutal rapes, senseless murders, drug trafficking, drug pushing, and wearing of bow ties

13. Max banning from Pprune 12 months

14. 'Cheap beer' establishments in any 2 sq km area

15. Brothels to be re-given tax free status (incl workers)

16. Government tax on smokes revoked. Cigars ditto

17. Commie/socialist teachers banned from all schools (public and private)

18. Poofs to be returned back to the closet

19. Worrals, RGB and Probes to be the only mods permitted in JB

20. Jehovah Witnesses banned from knocking on any doors at any time (unless its a JW knocking on the boor of another JW)

probes
13th Nov 2013, 06:21
:)

19. Worrals, RGB and Probes to be the only mods permitted in JB

What if any of them happens to be blond? :p

Otherwise some sort of muffles or muzzles to people who can not understand others are not interested in what they tell to their friends over their phones (at length and in detail), and that the idea of a phone is that one should be able to talk over distances without yelling.
Especially in buses.

onetrack
13th Nov 2013, 07:15
Then why hasn't Putin been bumped off yet Onetrack?
That's one question that puzzles a lot of people Mike, and maybe it indicates that Putins fearsome KGB background, carefully-nurtured image, and his extensive security detail are all enough to deter any would-be assassins.
Or maybe the Russians are just a bunch of sado-masochists at heart, and like regularly being robbed, beaten, and jailed.

http://img.blesk.cz/img/1/full/981466-img-putin-rusko-crop-crop.jpg

Capetonian
13th Nov 2013, 07:59
I would ban minibus taxis in South Africa and ensure that they were confiscated and crushed with the drivers and owners inside. Being the magnanimous chap that I am, I would allow the passengers out first, all 60 of them in each 18 seater.

I would execute all illegal Nigerians in South Africa, although my former action would probably take care of a number of them.

Lightning Mate
13th Nov 2013, 08:12
Ban the use of the following words:

1. LIKE
2. WHATEVER
3. HI
4. KINDA

Also all UK TV adverts in an American accent.

Capetonian
13th Nov 2013, 08:21
Hi LM

I kinda like wot you're saying, I mean, like, it's a good idea, innit, but would it work. Whatever. Dunno.

I dislike US American accents so much that I try to avoid watching US made films and TV programmes, the latter are mostly utter bilge anyway, which reminds me to add to the list of banned items :
Canned laughter and clapping.

Lightning Mate
13th Nov 2013, 08:24
:).........

cattletruck
13th Nov 2013, 08:45
1. Introduce 2 months paid annual leave where all money must be spent.
2. Ban outsourcing and cheap imports, and introduce high tax on crap products.
3. 0% interest home loans and 50% tax anually on any 3rd or more houses you own.
4. Executives to plead for a pay cut otherwise be observed jumping out the windows of tall buildings.
5. Ban printing money to save banks.
6. Only room for 5 charity organisations.
7. Introduce hard labour and manufacturing in prison.
8. Make playing the victim a serious punishable crime.
9. Poofs to be returned back to the closet.
10. Give the media an annual word limit.

G&T ice n slice
13th Nov 2013, 09:07
HUh,

all the usual leftwing pinko hand-wringing appologist guff.

Bring back Ghenghis, (even though he as a bit of a softie & kind to his horses)

Thomas coupling
13th Nov 2013, 09:49
Mikedreamer 787: I think you are exercising a "coup d'etat" - no?
In that case you have been sentenced in your absence to 3 yrs hanging.

The_hippie
13th Nov 2013, 11:58
Twist and go scooters will be outlawed.

All traffic lights will be equipped with an autonomous machine gun to 'deter' red light jumpers (except emergency services vehicles which will have an over-ride fitted).

Worrals in the wilds
13th Nov 2013, 13:38
Anyone working for a major food or cosmetics company touting the argument that 'our studies show', agitating against advertising reform wrt junk food/BS face cream and or arguing that their shitty overpriced, non-nutritious product is actually worth spending good money on shall be sent to a gulag where they are forced to eat only whole foods, take normal exercise in the fresh air and use basic moisturising/cleansing agents to keep their skin in good condition.

When they fail to starve to death or suffer from terminal dry skin as a result of eating good food and using basic skin products without spending $100 a throw, they shall front a tribunal that assesses whether they still honour their previous allegiance to the Almighty Fleecing By Multinational Conglomerates. If not, they shall be released back into society.

If so, back in ze hole to eat more Fruit Wraps (may have been in the same factory as real fruit! Maybe...) :E

CelticRambler
13th Nov 2013, 14:26
4. I'm going to make it the law that persons telephoning someone must first ask if it is OK to continue and if the recipient has time to talk. There will be a 3 year hanging for anyone who automatically commences a conversation without these introductory statements.

Can you clarify whether this applies equally to members of the enquiring public calling service providers where the receptionist answers with a phrase along the lines of "Billybollixtatsandwaxingsaloncanyouholdplease?" and puts you on hold before your brain has registered the question implicit in the greeting. Thanks. :ok:

Thomas coupling
13th Nov 2013, 15:08
Celticrambler: good point but NO.

21. It will be a legal requirement for Speed Averaging Cameras to average your speed over the last 5 working days and not at that very moment.
22. It is illegal to say the following:
(a)Revert back or refer back. (Revert/refer mean to go back).
(b)One is "x years of age" when describing one's longevity. In this instance-age means years already, thus one is repeating oneself.
(c)"moment in time". A moment is a period of time anyway.
The above will be scrupulously monitored by the 'Grammar Police' department which I am setting up to trawl web sites/e-mails and fone calls.
23. The word "fone" will be legalised and replace the words: telephone/phone.
24. The 'Age of Consent' will be changed so that it covers the post war period 1946 - 49.
25. Garages charging for air and water will have their air and water supply removed from the premises. Staff will have to bring their own breathing apparatus and water supply to work.
26. Kebab shops will have to prove that their supply chain provides only organic kebabs.

That is all...................................

radeng
13th Nov 2013, 17:42
Thomas

'Refer back' means refer to a previous information source which is different to 'refer to'. So that's actually needed in the context of which source is to used.

Thomas coupling
13th Nov 2013, 17:46
Radeng: you are quite right. You are now my Chief of the Grammar Police Inspectorate.:O

Flying Serpent
13th Nov 2013, 19:12
All cars to be fitted with high power heating elements in the footbrake. These are to be activated after 4 seconds of continual pressure on the pedal.

All box junctions in the UK to be fitted with large spikes which pop up out from the road surface when they detect a stationary vehicle.

MPs pay rises to be limited to the average of the rest of the country.

It's will be a legal requirement for an MP to give a truthful YES/NO answer to a yes/no question. Failure to do so will mean instant execution.

All shops/bars and restaurants to be eliminated from airports.

TWT
13th Nov 2013, 19:36
People who apply the brakes in their cars when travelling UPHILL will be sent to a

gulag for re-education.They will also be brainwashed to drive at a constant speed

rather than one which varies randomly.

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 19:41
TWT:

How about people who slam their brakes on going uphill in a blinding snowstorm causing you, following, to skid out and wind up in a gully after having tried to avoid slamming into them?

happened to me many moons ago. Had I caught up with the brake slammer I would have choked the living shit out of him/her.

wings folded
13th Nov 2013, 19:50
How about people who slam their brakes on going uphill in a blinding snowstorm causing you, following, to skid out and wind up in a gully after having tried to avoid slamming into them?




Might you have been too close, given the conditions?

modtinbasher
13th Nov 2013, 19:57
And all Members and ex Members of the UK Parliament to reveal, monthly, all their income, individually itemised from investments, rent of properties bought by us (the tax payer), plus the current value of such properties as may constitute their property portfolio, plus:-

Earnings from select committees.

Earnings from all consultancies for example as "technical supremo for bollo*k washing equipment" to any other minister with a Christian name commencing "Ed".

All incomes that are generated from interests or directorships of firms associated with wind powered equipment or wave powered equipment or nuclear energy or even electrically operated cars or similar.

All receipts from EU and foreign counterparts for advice to and deliverance of such homilies that may be considered a speech or other guidance notwithstanding that sort of crap that TB Liar manages to grip the essentials of our far Eastern friends (et al).

And apart from that, what additional scam they've currently managed (such as a 7000 claim for heating to a second property inclusive of a mobile home) to convince the expenses committee that it was a bona fide claim.

This list is not exhaustive, maybe someone can add to this.

And of course, the incredible price they normally pay for food and water (hic) in the Commons.



MTB (Member Tax Benefactor)

cavortingcheetah
13th Nov 2013, 19:58
A controversial president would be inclined to enforce the death penalty for all those who thought that anyone other than taxpayers should have the right to vote.

TWT
13th Nov 2013, 20:01
RGB,when I am President you will be allowed to summarily execute the offender in that case by whatever means you wish and you can also decide when and how quickly they shall be executed.

Piranhas will be supplied should you wish to have the offender temporarily attend your pool party

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 20:18
TWT:

No piranhas necessary as I'm quite adept at execution-type festivities, thank you very much!

wings:

Noooo, I was not following too closely. I was, perhaps, 100m away from their rear. However, when the idiot decided to stomp on the brakes going uphill in the aforementioned blinding snowstorm I applied my brakes as well and slid off the road consequently as the auto I was driving at the time, a Toyota something-or-other, was not at all that good driving in the snow.

wings folded
13th Nov 2013, 20:33
Had it been a fallen tree, same outcome?

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 20:38
wings:

It wouldn't have mattered if the pope was lying sprawled across the road. The roads were as slick as a baby's ass and had the jerk in front of me not stomped on his/her brakes I would have merrily glided up the hill.

Or do you not see a problem with stomping on your brakes going up or down hill with about 7" of slick snow on the ground?

wings folded
13th Nov 2013, 20:43
sorry, rgb, it sounds like you stomped on your brakes with 100m separation from the obstacle in front.

Whether Pope, tree, bloke who braked for reasons unknown, in those conditions would one let the incline slow down the car?

I wasn't there of course.

OFSO
13th Nov 2013, 20:46
All box junctions in the UK to be fitted with large spikes which pop up out from the road surface when they detect a stationary vehicle.


I used to be PG on a USAF base which was guarded by such a system. The spikes were held down and released when power failed. One day it did fail and the spikes were driven up through the floorpan of a Mercedes limousine breaking the driver's leg. Most impressive. Also most painful, but mostly impresssive.

I would install such a system on the Spanish border with a numberplate and vehicle recognition system, southbound lane. Certain nationalities and makes of vehicle would trigger the spikes instantly.

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 20:49
wings:

I tapped the brake. I didn't stomp on it like the clown in front of me. I know what you mean about letting the incline slow the four-wheeled projectile BUT after tapping my brakes and then letting said incline do just that, my car hit an ice patch underneath the snow and skidded off. The momentum I had going up the hill, before the bozo stunt in front, would have had me past the ice patch and over the top without incident.

Solid Rust Twotter
13th Nov 2013, 20:52
Politicians to be treated as the vermin they are and reminded daily, with the application of large amounts of electricity to their sensitive dangly bits, just who the hell they work for.

OFSO
13th Nov 2013, 20:52
I would ban all TV adverts depicting teary-eyed undernourished young children in poverty-stricken third-world countries where such adverts are begging for money to save such teary-eyed undernourished young children, unless the advertisements specifically stated that half my donation would be spent on compulsory sterilisation of all parents with more than a specified number of children. Say, for example, two.

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 20:54
OFSO wrote:

I would install such a system on the Spanish border with a numberplate and vehicle recognition system, southbound lane. Certain nationalities and makes of vehicle would trigger the spikes instantly.

Hmmm. What a splendid idea. I think I might implement it on a certain southern border of the U.S.

Then again, if I did that and it stopped enough of them from coming across (those who don't swim across anyway) then I'd be responsible for the culling of landscapers, lawn-mowers, restaurant clean up staff, farm field workers and Taco sellers. Can't have that.

Maybe, instead, I'll implement these devices on the NORTHERN border of the U.S. With Canada. And hope that these spikes will stop any of the DAMN SNOW which comes down these parts from up in Canuck-istan. Damn Canadians. What good are the lot of 'em anyway? All they do is bestow snow, cold weather, and more snow, on the rest of us. You BASTARDS. :}:}:}:}

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 20:55
SRT:

I think you might have made a bit of an error in associating politicians with dangly bits as we all know the vast majority of them are ball-less anyway! :ok:

wings folded
13th Nov 2013, 20:57
OK, rgb, as I said, I was not there.

In conditions as you describe, I leave a stupidly large margin ahead of me (the better half, who is keen to get home, may at times be critical of my caution, but I remind her that I have control, and if not happy, she can assume P1 and I will doze happily while she copes with the hazards - she is an excellent driver and could do so, but it normally quitens her for a few minutes.)

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 20:59
wings:

You're too kind. When the Mrs. (mine) starts babbling on about how I'm driving I simply say to her: "Would you care to get out and walk instead? No? I didn't think so."

Solid Rust Twotter
13th Nov 2013, 21:01
Hmmm... You have a point Mr Rock. Perhaps wiring them into the national grid as a kind of sloppy circuit breaker and lighting them up for 20 minutes before breakfast would drive home the lesson.:ok:

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 21:04
SRT:

That's a great idea. Or, we could bring water-boarding to a new, and improved, level. :ok:

500N
13th Nov 2013, 21:08
Rgb

I nearly got taken out by a car yesterday on the Freeway.

Huge queue of traffic moving very slowly in a seperated freeway
with small bushes in the grassed area in between the tow directions.

All of a sudden, a car comes skidding across through the bushes, sideways
and smashes the rear end into the car two in front of me that smashes into
the van next to it then both bounce of, the car that had come from the other
side ending up in the middle of the bushes having missed me by 6 feet :rolleyes:

My GF has been telling me for weeks to be careful, everyone goes crazy at
this time of year up to Xmas !!!

500N
13th Nov 2013, 21:12
RGB

How about Water boarding AND electricity ? :ok:

Plenty of greenies and lefties to try it on ;)

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 21:13
500N:

When I see someone pulling stunts like you describe I'm always very hopeful that the occupant winds up in a very fatal position. Preferably without taking anyone with him/her.

Texting while driving perhaps? Is that a problem over in Aussie as well?

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 21:15
500N;

Never thought of that. But if we're going to go the water and electricity route we might as well save ourselves some bother by merely rounding 'em all up, sticking 'em all in a communal bathtub (so they can sing kumbajah in their circle jerk) and then thrown in a few connected toasters. Would bring new meaning to burned toast. :ok:

wings folded
13th Nov 2013, 21:15
On the topic of the US/Canadian border, there was a bloke whose house sat straddled both sides.

Lounge and kitchen were in the US, bedroom and bathroom in Canada

An admin nightmare.

A delegation from both countries called by and asked him to make a choice: US or Canada.

He was a wise old boy and asked for some time to ponder.

After two weeks, he called them and said "right, I have decided"

"What is it to be then?"

"US"

"Ok, that's fine, we will draw up all the paperwork, don't worry"

"Just by the way, because we are curious, why the US?"

"Because I am fed up with Canadian winters"

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 21:17
It's not just the Canadian winters, wings. It's cold in Canada year round. It has to be to support the ice-making, snow-producing and cold-weather-implementing Canadian machinery which runs 365 days a year, obviously. A spiteful bunch they are.

Fox3WheresMyBanana
13th Nov 2013, 21:18
the DAMN SNOW which comes down these parts from up in Canuck-istan

We give you the chance to play hockey - is this not a gift!?

...and snow angels!!

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQIBE36pEyAbUX32iVMrsbTOMLBbKTefLlCg9vDliV wGqS8ASh2

500N
13th Nov 2013, 21:18
Yes, using mobiles for whatever while driving is a problem.

A lady was very quick to get the driver out, I then saw a dangly teddy bear
in the back seat (and a baby seat) so jumped out and ran for the back door.
Baby seat, heaps of dangly toys, and no baby just a big white teddy bear ????? Thought it might have been thrown out onto the floor so looked around,
then decided to ask the mother if their had been a baby in the back seat ?

Thank god the answer was no.

Solid Rust Twotter
13th Nov 2013, 21:20
32C again here today. Wouldn't mind some of that Canuckistani ice to put in one's G&T as one lazes in the pool.:ok:

radeng
13th Nov 2013, 21:20
Thomas

>You are now my Chief of the Grammar Police Inspectorate,<

Before accepting the position, I need your initial payment of 500 in cash....to be repeated each week!

rgbrock1
13th Nov 2013, 21:30
Fox3:

The chance to play hockey is welcome. Not so much the snow angel shit. However, what is not welcome is observing snow falling from the skies on the 4th of July as I'm standing in front of the BBQ flipping the burgers wondering what in the name of all that is holy caused a 40F temperature drop in 5 minutes.

"Those damn Canadians at it again."

Thomas coupling
13th Nov 2013, 23:29
22. Stupid aimless annoying threads on Pprune must be closed after 4 pages have been filled.

Rgbrock1: Your fired for driving too close to the vehicle in front.:=

ExSp33db1rd
14th Nov 2013, 10:18
26 ......................

27 .. The word "organic" will be banned.

Mrs. ExS has just brought home some funny looking brown soap, wot's that, I said. Organic soap. Organic soap ????

How do you get organic soap, they don't grow the stuff ?

MagnusP
14th Nov 2013, 11:02
Any BMW driver who cuts me up to be taken out and shot at dawn. Every day for a fortnight.

Mel Effluent
14th Nov 2013, 11:04
1. All caravans will be subject to road tax.
2. Caravans may only be towed on public roads between 1 am and 6 am.
3. All caravans will be repainted to blend in with the environment.
4. Failure to comply with the above will authorise the use of an anti-caravan missile (available to all other drivers at cost) with a shaped charge warhead which will obliterate the caravan but not damage the road surface.

Worrals in the wilds
14th Nov 2013, 11:53
2. Caravans may only be towed on public roads between 1 am and 6 am.Works for me! :ok: Particularly when applied to vehicles that infest the nation's rural highways (speed limit generally 100 kmph) at speeds varying from 60-80, who steadfastly refuse to pull over when practicable to let faster traffic (including trucks) past and send everyone else nuts because they're driving a vehicle they can't manage but are too self righteous to admit it, so they keep plugging away 100km after 100km with a huge convoy of grumpy people backed up behind them looking for the least suicidal option to overtake them and get on their way. :*

Caravans...:ugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NLV24qTnlg
Leftie Melbourne, but the sentiment is there...:}

PingDit
16th Nov 2013, 21:58
I nearly managed it in '08.....

I News 3 your personal news center (http://www.inews3.com/topstory.php?id=50696e677c446974)

Ping

500N
16th Nov 2013, 22:26
"4. Failure to comply with the above will authorise the use of an anti-caravan missile (available to all other drivers at cost) with a shaped charge warhead which will obliterate the caravan but not damage the road surface."


A 66mm SRAAW will destroy a Caravan nicely and not overdo it :ok:

Easily portable
Easy to shoot
Very safe to carry around until required

http://i44.tinypic.com/oqaxyt.jpg

Windy Militant
16th Nov 2013, 22:29
How do you get organic soap, they don't grow the stuff ?

I thought all soap was made using fatty acids which either came from Cows or Palm trees. So I guess you can grow soap. ;)

Organic Water?
As water is one Oxygen atom and two Hydrogen atoms then any organic material must be some form of contamination probably from the cows they made the soap from!

Oh and improve the teaching of science in schools! :p

PS. A Willy Pete is far more fun for getting rid of caravans, just lob one in and watch it go like a slow moving meteor. Imaging the look on the drivers face when he arrives at the camp site with just a blackened chassis!:}

phyxit
17th Nov 2013, 00:40
1a. Anybody not moving briskly away from the exit doors where arrivals are greeted on clearing customs at a large airport will be dragged away by large dogs.
1b. Any airport designer arranging the exit from customs/immigration such that greetees are met at the base of a long escalator will have his license revoked, and be made to attempt to pass though the happy throngs of greeters/greetees while a horde of over-burdened, jet-lagged grim-faced Phyxits descend upon him.

Winter rules for 45 north latitude:
- Any driver of their own car which is found not to be equipped with snow tires after the temperature drops below freezing shall have their car towed to a tire, or tyre, emporium, there to purchase snow tires, or tyres, at full list price.
- Any driver of any car not equipped with snow tires, snow brushes, emergency supplies etc. on the date of the first big snow-fall will have their car impounded until spring, will walk home and will be made to apologize to every properly equipped driver that passes.
- Any driver not clearing the snow off the windows of their vehicle will be dragged from the vehicle and shot. Those failing to clear the roof and lights will be shot gently. A similar rule applies to driving off before windows and mirrors are free of frost. (I will be standing the first watch with a A 66mm SRAAW at first light on First Snow Day.)