View Full Version : Start a Rumour or New Conspiracy Thread

10th Nov 2013, 00:34
Recognising that there has been a significant decrease in new rumours and conspiracy theories being posted by JB'ers, felt there needed to be a central place where they can acquire maximum visibility in order for them to grow.

A couple just to start with:

1) Following a week where there have been five deaths on golf courses in the UK the Government Health and Safety Committee have determined that hard hats and high-viz jackets will be mandatory wear on all golf courses as from January 2014.

2) The person shot on Friday, November 22, 1963, in Dealey Plaza, Dallas, Texas, was not President John F Kennedy as commonly believed. It was actually a stand-in, as the President had been abducted the week before by the Russians, and the US Secret Service were unwilling to 'fess up to the fact that they had lost him. Lee Harvey Oswald was known to the FBI and had been contracted by the Secret Service to undertake the shooting,

PS. Please feel free to either expand on rumours or theories already started or start your own.

10th Nov 2013, 00:55
Simon Cowell is The Antichrist

The real reason Hitler invaded Russia is that he couldn't stand balalaika music.

Chemtrails are the only possible explanation for anyone liking Russell Brand

10th Nov 2013, 00:59
Obama was actually born in Greenland, and is an undercover agent for their gov't. (yes, I know Greenland is administered by Denmark. I meant the Real, undercover gov't, of course.)

John Hill
10th Nov 2013, 02:13
The US Navy is afraid of the nuclear pollution of the Pacific that is inevitable when the reactors at Fukashima finally melt down and have asked the Australians for Indian Ocean port facilities. The Australians have turned them down.:hmm:

10th Nov 2013, 02:17
The Trojan Vibrating Twister is a serious invasion of a certain area...


Nervous SLF
10th Nov 2013, 03:29
Throughout the northern hemisphere a lot of very dangerous radiation from Fukushima is being constantly deposited
in the oceans and on land.This will cause severe problems with mutations in humans, plants and animals in the next
20 years or so.

10th Nov 2013, 03:33
Gertrude is moving to Detroit.
SFFP is buying a rifle.
Caco is giving up YouTube.
Con-pilot was seen ordering Brussels sprouts in a restaurant.
Chuks, Matari, and Dushan organizing next PPRuNe bash in Havana.

10th Nov 2013, 04:02
Windfarms have been designed and strategically placed by government agents to spread the fallout from chemtrails in order to affect more victims.

10th Nov 2013, 06:16
The moon landings were indeed faked....they missed and landed on Mars by mistake.
Green energy is merely a smokescreen for many former anarchists, communists and left wing liberal lunatics to foist their particular ideology upon us..all packaged neatly up under the guise of global cooling..errr..no warming..errr hang on...climate change!
Dick Chenney shot a friend in the face and got away with it...

10th Nov 2013, 06:40
Chuks, Matari, and Dushan organizing next PPRuNe bash in Havana.
free cigars, smoking mandatory.

Aliens have invaded most human minds - via computers, of course - and that's why there's so much cr*p around.

10th Nov 2013, 06:46
It's a fact that there are some people out there who actually believe that socialism is the best way to run a country.

It's true, there really are some of these folks around.


G&T ice n slice
10th Nov 2013, 07:33
It's a fact that there are some people out there who actually believe that socialism is the best way to run a country.

It's true, there really are some of these folks around.

You can't catch me with that one....

10th Nov 2013, 07:39
Airbus Industries have made an unsolicited takeover of all the shares in the Boeing Company, and Boeing have accepted unconditionally, stating that the share price offered by Airbus was too good to refuse.

Boeing management stated that they have come to the conclusion that their aircraft systems, construction methods, and cockpit design and layout were all inferior to Airbus, anyway - and that it was inevitable that Airbus would become the dominant player in the aviation industry, seeing as they have more than one Government behind them, and they can afford to pay bigger bribes. :(

Boeing are investigating how best to invest the funds received from the sale of their business, and are looking at some interesting IPO's of a number of corporate start-ups in China - mostly in the areas of rice harvesters, and Chinese New Year decorations. :E

Dr Jekyll
10th Nov 2013, 07:53
Aliens landed in New Jersey in 1938 and this was widely reported at the time. But a cover up claimed the radio reports were a performance of 'War of the Worlds', despite the fact that there were many differences between the HG Wells story and the reported events.

10th Nov 2013, 07:58
The so-called "wind turbine generators" are actually giant fans which cause storms such as the last one to wreak havoc (copyright statement, BBC and SKY) across the United Kingdom. Without these fans there would be a dead calm in the UK for 364 days a year.

If you don't believe this is true, note that when the fans are stationary there is also a complete absence of wind.

These fans are the reason there is a lack of energy in the UK - it's all going to spin them. However the government thinks it's worth while to keep the population "motivated". Note also which way the fans face: the wind they generate blows most immigrant boats away from the UK east coast and back to foreignland.

10th Nov 2013, 08:02

tony draper
10th Nov 2013, 08:04
They really did land in my town,I go shopping on that road.:uhoh:

10th Nov 2013, 08:22
They really did land in my town,I go shopping on that road.

Do you go shopping on that road because they landed there, or

did they land there because you go shopping there ?

Also, what kind of shops were there when they landed ? Could they have been Tesco-haters looking for something like Arkwrights Emporium ?

tony draper
10th Nov 2013, 08:49
I knew that old fella,he used to get in the Saltwell Club,just by sight, cant say I ever spoke to the man,he seemed to avoid me,might have thought I was one of them,(a alien not those other one of thems)
PS, I wasn't around when those events transpired,hmmm, but I did arrive shortly thereafter.

Lon More
10th Nov 2013, 08:51
Insert any headline from the Daily Fail

Also, what kind of shops were there when they landed ? Argos obviously

10th Nov 2013, 09:22
Guns don't kill people.....rappers do..

Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do - YouTube

10th Nov 2013, 10:31
There is a sinister group of people based either in Brussels or Strasbourg or possibly both, who claim to be "running" most if not all of the countries of Europe. Unbelievable though it is, these people were sent there by their own governments who considered them to be useless and thought they would do less harm in Strasbourg or possibly Brussels.

Evidence exists to show this may not altogether be a conspiracy fantasy.

10th Nov 2013, 10:59
The reason aliens keep kidnapping inbred rednecks and conducting anal probes on them is that they are searching for a genetic 'cure' for country music [sic].
After Roswell, it was determined from alien autopsies that there are sensing organs in their teeth that can receive AM radio broadcasts from Earth (some humans suffer from this too). They have no way to turn these off, and the ever increasing number of 'country' stations is clearly driving them nuts.

10th Nov 2013, 11:13
Nobody is really following you or liking you on social media, most of it is just an automated robot whose function is to drive up the IPO price.

El Grifo
10th Nov 2013, 12:15
Chuks, Matari, and Dushan organizing next PPRuNe bash in Havana.

They have asked El Grifo along as guide and interpreter !!

El G.

10th Nov 2013, 12:21
Selective Censorship doesn't happen on PPRuNe :O

10th Nov 2013, 12:31
I already posted that........hang on !:suspect:

10th Nov 2013, 12:53
The NSA put cameras on the moon because they know the moon always follows you.

Rather be Gardening
10th Nov 2013, 12:54
Ed Milliband is about to be unveiled as the new face of Lancome.

And he has refused to do any nuddy shots for Cosmopolitan, despite Sally Bercow offering to hold the figleaf.

The Unite union will be issuing their Christmas single in the next week: a remake of "Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours", fronted by rapper John 'Angryman' Prescott, with proceeds going to Switzerland.

10th Nov 2013, 13:18
I suspect this was Worrals and Alisoncc dancing to The Captain Matchbox Whoopee Band at the
Sunbury Pop Festival of 1973. :suspect: :E


Would that be a very young Probes sitting in between? :O

10th Nov 2013, 13:19
Is that chap on the left with the afro O.J. Simpson ?

10th Nov 2013, 13:21
OJ didn't have boobs...

El Grifo
10th Nov 2013, 13:40
Bugger, didn't spot that !!

El G.

B Fraser
10th Nov 2013, 14:55
Pepsi is owned by Coca Cola.

Hitler died in Argentina.

10th Nov 2013, 15:02
Some people actually disbelieve in Father Christmas.

10th Nov 2013, 15:30
Cleggie is to introduce a bill that makes it compulsory for the tooth fairy to leave 10 under the pillow.

10th Nov 2013, 23:40
Al Gore admits his movie 'Inconvenient Truth' was only intended as a personal money spinner.

China says its had enough of Pyongyang's shenannigans and is now on its own. Internal collapse of NK imminent.

11th Nov 2013, 04:36
In an astonishing U-turn, the NRA has called for vigorous gun control legislation.

In a statement from his hospital bed after a recent accidental shooting at home, an NRA spokesman said, "With the availability of homemade guns from 3D printers, the safety of these weapons cannot be guaranteed, so gun control is now necessary. Our policy change has nothing to do with our clients in gun manufacturing not making any money off them."

11th Nov 2013, 05:25
New conspiracy theory: The US government is NOT conspiring with the big corporations to the detriment of US people.
But it is unfortunately just a theory.

Worrals in the wilds
11th Nov 2013, 09:07
I suspect this was Worrals and Alisoncc dancing to The Captain Matchbox Whoopee Band at the Sunbury Pop Festival of 1973. http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/cwm13.gif :E
Theory: Worrals was alive in 1973 :E. The festival looks fun though. :}

11th Nov 2013, 15:17
Tony, never knew your a fan of RGH are you attending the event Gary Heseltine (Holmfirth) on the 16th Nov?


11th Nov 2013, 15:19
Chuks, Matari, and Dushan organizing next PPRuNe bash in Havana.

And Matari has rushed off to buy the boxed set of CDs entitled "The Very Best of Ry Cooder" to add to the pleasure of travelling around the island in their Hertz rental car...


tony draper
11th Nov 2013, 16:01
Ere I know nowt of the peeps of which you speak Mr Daz.:confused:

11th Nov 2013, 16:08
Tony 'Orange Skin' Bliar and Gordon 'one-eyed Scottish Git' Broone were standing at the Cenotaph yesterday, and they were planning a take-over of United Kingdom Ltd. before the end of the year.

11th Nov 2013, 16:09
Sounds like quite a party :O

Hertz Rent a car, driving round Cuba with Ry Cooder blaring at full volume
and probably helped along by liberal amounts of whatever alcohol they drink there !!!

El Grifo
11th Nov 2013, 16:56
Baileys Irish Cream is the Cuban choice of tipple !!


11th Nov 2013, 17:00
Baileys Irish Cream is the Cuban choice of tipple !!

Now that is funny! :D

What, do they mix it with rum? :p

11th Nov 2013, 17:34
Theory: Worrals was alive in 1973 http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/evil.gif.

You're too wise in the way of things to be a young'un Worrals! ;)

12th Nov 2013, 11:38
"We are offering George for adoption" says Kate.

Worrals in the wilds
13th Nov 2013, 09:47
Bloke down the pub last night told me, the U.S.A. has a highly developed and effective political system, consisting of selfless individuals whose intentions are the betterment of their country and its citizens
Sounds like ours :uhoh:. They're all underpaid, too. :}

tony draper
13th Nov 2013, 09:55
Whatever you think up it int goin to be half as daft as some of the stuff on youtube. :rolleyes:

13th Nov 2013, 10:28
I could tell tales of a Peer of the Realm cruising the Via Veneto looking for ladyboys ...

He came close to propositioning me once ('I made my excuses and left')

13th Nov 2013, 11:48
Lon More always votes Conservative.

13th Nov 2013, 12:25
He came close to propositioning me once

Why, SSK, where you a ladyboy ? I think we should be told.....

13th Nov 2013, 12:34
My particular encounter was a long way from Rome, in a place where a lot of men wear skirts but I wasn't one of them.

Bob Bevan
13th Nov 2013, 16:35
The thing is that I know who put the bop in the bop shoo wap shoo wap, I just can't tell anyone! :oh:

13th Nov 2013, 19:16
in a place where a lot of men wear skirts

Aha ! the little town of Roses on the Costa Brava. Transvestitism is in their genes.......

Mel Effluent
15th Nov 2013, 13:40
Everyone wearing earphones is being controlled by the CIA/Aliens/MI5/ state or criminal organisation of your choice.

15th Nov 2013, 13:42
Appeitizers are served in prime numbers for .... reasons.

16th Nov 2013, 14:21
When the Teletubbies disappeared from our screens we all thought that was that, back in their storage boxes.

Not so ! They formed an international cabal and by judicious use of Mind Control (as patented by Simon Cowell) they are now in control of the world.

Tinky-Winky is running the EU, Dipsy in control of the USA, Laa-Laa is administering China, and Po is in charge of Russia.

They met for lunch once a month at Noma, and bank in Luxembourg.