View Full Version : Elver up yer Willie !

3rd Nov 2013, 07:28
Anyone else catch today's news item mentioned on the SKY newspaper review ? There is a craze in the UK right now for sitting in a pool full of fish (which nibble off dead bits of skin etc) or similar, including baby eels ("elver") which do likewise, however one chap indulging in this freshening-up exercise was aghast to see an elver vanishing up his urethra.

Bet that made his eyes water.

I didn't hear the end of the story. In fact I'd rather not have heard the story at all.....

3rd Nov 2013, 07:35
Hospital removes eel from man's bum - National - NZ Herald News (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10835890)



3rd Nov 2013, 08:01
That made my eyes water just thinking about it!!:eek:

Takan Inchovit
3rd Nov 2013, 08:08
I guess there's a lot to be said about being a tight arse then.

3rd Nov 2013, 08:55
.....I saw a 'Demo' at the Ideal Home Exhibition about 2012. Several members of the public were sitting in a row, dangling their feet in a ( transparent glass? ) tank. I'm sure the supervisors would have advised caution if they had spotted anyone sticking their willie in it. I remember thinking that I would have hung around longer than 30 secs if the fish were more like Pike than minnows.

3rd Nov 2013, 08:59
Been around for years in Asia. Thought it was silly when I first saw it, still do.

3rd Nov 2013, 09:21
The exfoliation would improve to a whole new level, if someone were to drop a couple of piranhas in there ...

3rd Nov 2013, 09:26
You don't even need to bother with the fish. Rover will oblige:

Dog Eats Owner's Toes and Likely Saves His Life | Life With Dogs (http://www.lifewithdogs.tv/2013/10/dog-eats-owners-toes-and-likely-saves-his-life/)

Noah Zark.
3rd Nov 2013, 11:01
It is unclear how the eel managed to be trapped inside the man. It is believed medics successfully removed it and the man was later discharged.

Must have been an electric eel, then! :}

3rd Nov 2013, 13:14
Must have been an electric eel, then! :}

Shocking experience for all.

Look I'm sorry. Someone had to say it.:ouch:

wings folded
3rd Nov 2013, 13:44
one chap indulging in this freshening-up exercise was aghast to see an elver vanishing up his urethra.

Would not a blast of hydraulics under pressure flush the bugger out?

One thinks that there are two fluids which are obvious candidates for the task.

3rd Nov 2013, 14:19
Sometimes there are threads here that one wishes one's curiosity hadn't led to a quick peek. I rather think I shall be having very unpleasant thoughts about the exploits of this elver, and the hapless victim, for some time.

Union Jack
3rd Nov 2013, 14:36
Eels are secretive, nocturnal and prefer habitats with plenty of cover. They hunt by smell rather than sight. - NZ Herald

Says it all really ....:ooh:


3rd Nov 2013, 15:31
Derek and Clive........... Derek & Clive - "The Worst Job I Ever Had" (http://www.phespirit.info/derekandclive/live_01.htm)

3rd Nov 2013, 15:45
When I was a nipper, aged about 6 or 7, my dad had a mate of his round who was a commercial diver. He was doing some work over at Shoreham harbour and told us that conger eels were the ones to keep your eye out for. If you didn't, they would "....go ZAP! Straight up yer back passage."

I have had a slightly irrational fear of conger eels ever since.

wings folded
3rd Nov 2013, 15:59
And one is lead to believe that cockneys nourished themselves on these creatures, after jellification.

3rd Nov 2013, 19:32
And one is lead to believe that cockneys nourished themselves on these
creatures, after jellification.

And now that we know where the jelly came from...........:yuk:

3rd Nov 2013, 23:22
Surely there has to be a competition in this? - as to who can come up with the definitive new medical term, for the removal of an eel from one's rectum. An eelectomy?? :)
Hmm, that does sound a little too close to a politicians request, doesn't it?? :rolleyes:

Ascend Charlie
4th Nov 2013, 00:31
Would that be eelective surgery?

Takan Inchovit
4th Nov 2013, 04:40
When boy meets girl here's what they say)

When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's a moray ...

When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's a moray ....

Solid Rust Twotter
4th Nov 2013, 04:55
What's that thing in the reef with the big shiny teeth

It's a moray

Put your hand in a crack and you won't get it back

From the moray

When an eel lunges out and bites off your snout

That's a moray

When you're looking for kreef, what's that checking you skeef

It's a moray

Tum de dum.... many more of those if I can remember that far back.