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10Watt
3rd Nov 2013, 01:46
Tesco`s put the posters up weeks ago. l don`t think l can cope with the

enforced commercial goodwill this time around.

l would suggest that like minded folk - if any - join together at the time

of the Queens Speech to have a good f***ing whinge about family, politics,

price of gas and electricity, and of course, just who is going to do

that pile of washing up.

That`s it really.

54Phan
3rd Nov 2013, 03:04
Well 10Watt, SOP at 54Burg is to ignore Christmas until November 11th has passed. Then the Committee Of Christmas Decorative Stuff, i.e. my cat and myself, have endless meetings to decide what arrangements should be made to celebrate this festive time. As my birthday falls two days after Christmas, there is added impetus (on my part) to ensure the time is properly observed. As for the speech by Aunt Betty, we never listen to it. :zzz:
All the best from the colonies.

Solid Rust Twotter
3rd Nov 2013, 04:10
Just another working day for us out in the sandpit. No biggie. Prefer it that way.

sitigeltfel
3rd Nov 2013, 05:11
Perusing the Freesat TV listings the other night, I noticed they now have a dedicated Christmas film channel. I suppose it could be used as a subtle torture technique on suspects.

Lon More
3rd Nov 2013, 07:21
l would suggest that like minded folk - if any - join together at the time

of the Queens Speech to have a good f***ing whinge about family, politics,

price of gas and electricity, and of course, just who is going to do

that pile of washing up.


The last things the royals will be worried about

OFSO
3rd Nov 2013, 07:44
As my birthday falls two days after Christmas

And mine falls two days after THAT. A b*gger, ain't it, 54 ? I blame that Jewish chap, should never have had his official birthday on December 25th.

Shops here still selling kids stuff for Halloween, three days after it's passed. Never mind getting ready for Christmas.

SMT Member
3rd Nov 2013, 08:07
should never have had his official birthday on December 25th.

In my neck of the woods, and quite a few other necks actually, it's the 24th. Not that it'll make a big difference to you.

Apart from that, I'm planted very firmly in the 'bah, humbug' corner. I detest the commercial aspect of the holidays, and don't give much for the enforced coziness we're all supposed to embrace, and don't believe for a second any of the religious aspects. What I do love, and wouldn't miss out on, is the time spent with good friends and family, enjoying lavish meals that ends with everyone having stomach ache from over eating. The food and the company of friends and family, in other words. The rest I could happily live without.

probes
3rd Nov 2013, 08:44
Yeah, but think about the silver lining - one does not want all that stuff in one's home any more. And it promotes the ability of switching off the boring and irrational.

ChrisVJ
3rd Nov 2013, 08:46
OFSO

Snap

1DC
3rd Nov 2013, 08:59
Christmas came early for me, i watched Zulu on the telly the other day!:D:D

OFSO
3rd Nov 2013, 10:06
i watched Zulu on the telly

Me also.

I have watched this excellent (but inaccurate) film many times over the years but only last week did I notice the beautiful slim zulu (?) topless girls at the beginning. Must be my age.

Arriving in London last year I said to my wife "This place reminds me of Rorke's Drift". She said "You mean all the zulus ?" I replied, "no, there isn't a Dutchman in sight."

Sallyann1234
3rd Nov 2013, 10:21
This I think is the first Christmas thread on prune this year. I sincerely hope it will be the last as I'm already sick of the subject that occupies the shops and meedja for two months out of every twelve.

Bah bloody humbug.

Groundgripper
3rd Nov 2013, 11:14
two months out of every twelve

Only two?:eek:

Lucky you. It starts about early October in some shops and lasts until at least three weeks after the New Year while they try to sell off all the exess stock they've got left.

Mind you that is a good time to buy cards, etc. for the following christmas at a significant discount.:E

GG

Solid Rust Twotter
3rd Nov 2013, 17:08
Arriving in London last year I said to my wife "This place reminds me of Rorke's Drift". She said "You mean all the zulus ?" I replied, "no, there isn't a Dutchman in sight."


You're obviously not paying attention, Mr OFSO. The place is positively heaving with Saffers.:}


God knows how they stand it. That London has to be among my least favourite places on earth and I've spent time in African prisons.:hmm:

racedo
3rd Nov 2013, 17:18
As someone who is a practising Catholic I have found over the years the ability to completely tune out the commercial stuff gets better with age.

On a number of occasions we have met Polish friends on Christmas morning at church, as their celebration was previous night we invited them round for Christmas dinner. A great day for them and us.

A friend who was heavily involved in domestic abuse cases as a solicitor said that Christmas was the busiest time as families at home for day or two, lots of alcohol and a court date a week later was standard Christmas for many.

flying lid
3rd Nov 2013, 17:40
It was Christmas Day in the workhouse
The merriest day of the year
The paupers and the prisoners
Were all assembled there

In came the Christmas pudding
When a voice that shattered glass
Said, "We don't want your Christmas pudding
So stick it
there with the rest of the unwanted presents"

The workhouse master then arose
And prepared to carve the duck
He said "Who wants the parson's nose
And the prisoners shouted
"you have it yourself sir"

The vicar brought his bible
And read out little bits
Said one old crone at the back of the hall
"This man gets on
very well with everybody"

The workhouse mistress then began
To hand out Christmas parcels
The paupers tore the wrappers off
And began to wipe their
eyes, which were full of tears

The master rose to make a speech
But just before he started
The mistress, who was fifteen stone
Gave three loud cheers and
nearly choked herself

And all the paupers then began
To pull their Christmas crackers
One pauper held his too low down
And blew off both his
paper hat and the man's next to him

A steaming bowl of white bread sauce
Was handed round to some
An aged gourmet called aloud
"This bread sauce tastes like
it was made by a continental chef"

Mince pie with custard sauce was next
And each received a bit
One pauper said "The mince pie's nice
But the custard tastes like
the bread sauce we had in the last verse !"

The mistress dishing out the food
Dropped custard down her front
She cried "Aren't I a silly girl"
And they answered "You're a
perfect picture as always ma'am !"

"This pudding ", said the master
"It's solid, hard and thick
how am I going to cut it ?"
And a man cried "Use your
penknife sir, the one with the pearl handle"

The mistress asked the vicar
To entertain his flock
He said "What would you like to see ?"
And they cried "Let's see your
conjuring tricks, they're always worth watching"

"Your reverence may I be excused ?"
Said one benign old chap
"I don't like conjuring tricks
I'd sooner have a
carol or two around the fire"

So then they all began to sing
Which shook the workhouse walls
"Merry Christmas!" cried the master
And the inmates shouted
"Best of luck to you as well sir !"

Lid

G&T ice n slice
3rd Nov 2013, 18:10
One or two of those verses didn't quite rhyme right... wierd

ExRAFRadar
4th Nov 2013, 07:39
Waitrose had Xmas mince pies on sale Mid Oct

alisoncc
4th Nov 2013, 08:34
Can't possibly have a Christmas thread on JB without our traditional poem.

T'was Christmas day in the workhouse
The snow was raining fast
A bare-footed man with clogs on came slowly running passed.
He turmed a straight crooked corner to see a dead donkey die
He took out his penknife to shoot it
And it kicked him one right in the eye.

SOPS
4th Nov 2013, 08:36
That's nothing, one store in Australia had trees out in September!!

Nervous SLF
4th Nov 2013, 08:38
In Sept2010 we visited an ASDA store nearish to Melton Mowbray and they were selling hot cross buns.

Sallyann1234
4th Nov 2013, 10:38
Gosh SLF !
That's 43 months early for Easter. They really will be stale.

Alloa Akbar
4th Nov 2013, 13:06
You bunch of miserable buggers! :p

I rather enjoy Christmas, the run up to it in our neck of the wooods is usually full of European traders peddling their fare (usually meat or beer.. result!) on cold evenings, and traditionally ends with Kids clutching useless tat which they have bought from stalls, parents a bit merry from beer, wine and maybe a crafty brandy or two, cheesey Christmas music and the inevitable rain.. But you know what, everyone seems to smile and be happy :ok:

Strike one up for the Cheesey Christmas Self Indulgent Fat Drunk Liberation Front! :}

Lightning Mate
4th Nov 2013, 13:20
Strike one up for the Cheesey Christmas Self Indulgent Fat Drunk Liberation
Front!

I'll drink to that, but I ain't fat.

Start the day with champagne at 0900 sharp and see how far you can get.

Last year we spent Christmas in an expensive country house hotel, and by lunchtime everyone was three sheets to the wind, including the "celebrities".

G-CPTN
4th Nov 2013, 14:19
Last year we spent Christmas in an expensive country house hotel, and by lunchtime everyone was three sheets to the wind,
And is that considered to be a success? (at what cost?)

vulcanised
4th Nov 2013, 14:23
It's just another day in all respects for me, and has been for many years.

Lightning Mate
4th Nov 2013, 14:23
A great success and very enjoyable.

They even put a real decorated Christmas tree in every bedroom.

Goggle Bovey Castle Christmas break.

Lon More
4th Nov 2013, 17:15
Spent most of my career working it.
Can't be bothered with the commercial aspects of it further than cooking a lump of beef and some roast spuds. Normally settle down with a good book and a dram and a roaring fire.

4mastacker
4th Nov 2013, 17:40
Another of the major supermarkets has decided to open on Boxing Day and New Year's Day. The staff are being "asked to volunteer". Anyone who has worked in the retail business will recognise the implications of that kind of statement.

FFS! There are 360+ other days of the year for people to do their Xmas shopping; isn't that sufficient enough for folks to get organised? :mad:

Why bu**er things up for the shop workers; don't they deserve a break as well?

All I'm waiting for now is the first sighting of Easter Eggs.

Ho! bloody Ho!

54Phan
4th Nov 2013, 17:42
My older sister was born on December 26! We had 8 kids in the family, and as a result of the ensuing commotion, the day of celebration alternated on an annual basis. Not only did I get few birthday presents per se, but half the time I didn't even get a birthday party !:sad:

OFSO
4th Nov 2013, 17:46
Time for Mr OFSO to make a confession and risk derision from everyone here.

I have a phobia about Father Christmas. As a child I used to cross any street with an FC standing outside a shop - or better still, go another way down a FC-less street - I was absolutely terrified of the guy in the red robe, hat and white cotton-wool beard.

And I still feel a twinge of terror today when I see one.

rgbrock1
4th Nov 2013, 17:47
Oh OFSO. You're such a wimp. :}:}:}

Truth be told, though, I was afraid of the fat f**k as a kid as well. Then, one day, I dealt with it:

http://imaginaryfriendsshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/dead-santa.jpg

OFSO
4th Nov 2013, 17:50
The thing is, "conventional" monsters hold no horror for me, never have done. Did as a child I discern something nasty lurking under those voluminous robes ?

I can even tell you the first time I threw a wobbly upon seeing FC - it was in Selfridges Department Store where we kids had a ride in a fake submarine and FC was in charge (yes I know, bizarre isn't it) pulling on a big lever that came up out of the floor.

BTW, this experience did NOT give me a phobia about submarines: I have been in US and USSR submarines and felt quite at home and happy on board the boats.

angels
4th Nov 2013, 17:52
rg - I'm a bit of an anti-gun nut. :eek:

But just this once......:E

Nice one!

rgbrock1
4th Nov 2013, 17:59
OFSO wrote:

Did as a child I discern something nasty lurking under those voluminous robes ?

Maybe the Santa you experienced was a pervert and flashed you in a department store? :}:E

4mastacker
4th Nov 2013, 18:10
Don't forget the admin!!

vulcanised
4th Nov 2013, 19:48
It was clowns that used to scare me.

er340790
5th Nov 2013, 03:15
I put up the Xmas lights on the house and Xmas tree in the garden yesterday... :eek:

Self-preservation actually. Try doing it here in December and you are usually hanging off a ladder in -35c wind-chill or trying to drive Rudolph's support pegs into ground that is harder than concrete.

It seemed like a good idea too while taking down all the :mad: Hallow'een cr*p!

Worrals in the wilds
5th Nov 2013, 04:19
It seemed like a good idea too while taking down all the http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/censored.gif Hallow'een cr*p!
At least no-one took them seriously...:ooh:
No Cookies | The Courier-Mail (http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/halloween-reveller-mistaken-for-escaped-hospital-patient-on-brisbane-citycat/story-fnihsrf2-1226752948360)

Alloa, I'm with you. I love Christmas. :O
Did as a child I discern something nasty lurking under those voluminous robes ?
I have an actor friend who is one of the most melancholic, cynical, chain-smoking buggers on earth. Funnily enough, every year he becomes an award winning department store Santa :confused:. The local retailers fight to get him and he always gets a massive bonus.

I never believed how until I snuck over to his Santa's Wonderland one day and observed from the sidelines; Mr Cynic was transformed into the most charming, friendly Santa I'd ever seen. Even the parents were enthralled.

Amazing what a costume can do.

Worrals in the wilds
5th Nov 2013, 07:14
Yeah, good point :(.
FWIW I meant cash, though I believe he managed to get the contact details of a few good-looking aunts and babysitters...:E

Lon More
5th Nov 2013, 07:32
Bad Santa NSFW

Exascot
5th Nov 2013, 07:52
Always used to try to work Christmas day. Now just pack up the car with goodies and head into the bush. The wild life have no idea what day it is. Some of the stags do look a little tired though :confused:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/32684975/Christmas%202012.jpg

Mrs Exascot Christmas Day 2012