corner speed
6th May 2002, 21:10
April 25, 2002
Kansas City - An American Airlines flight enroute from Los Angeles to JFK
airport in New York City was diverted to Kansas City yesterday when a
passenger was noticed attempting to light a fuse protruding from his rectum.
Flight Attendant Bunny Haggarty said she noticed the man seated in an aisle
seat leaning forward and holding a cigarette lighter behind his legs. "I
though he was just trying to light a fart," said Haggarty, "like our pilots
are always doing on layovers." "Then I saw this string-like thing hanging
from his a**, and I got scared." Haggarty immediately called for assistance.
Several male passengers subdued the man before he was able to light the
fuse.
After landing in Kansas City, authorities found the man's intestines were
stuffed with military grade C4 explosive. FBI agents stated that it would
have been a complete catastrophe if the passenger had succeeded in lighting
the fuse. The passenger, Mohammed Bin Ali El Batout Nabeel Sin Abba Rahim
Mansour Ali Baba, Age 25, was carrying fourteen passports from various
countries throughout the middle east. Asked why he had stuffed himself full
of plastic explosives, Ali Baba stated, "I was planning to blow the chit out
of the plane." "I wanted to kill all the Americans and Jews to show that we
are a peace loving pipple."
Airport security agents in Los Angeles remembered seeing Ali Baba as he
boarded American flight 90. They were a bit concerned because his name would
not fit on the front of the ticket, he was wearing a checkered tablecloth as
a hat, looked like he was ready to kill someone, was reading an Al Quaeda
training manual and had on a "F*** America" tee-shirt. According to Federal
Airport Security standards, however, individuals cannot be profiled for
additional security simply because they are young, middle-eastern men.
The security supervisor, Leroy Jackson, said he was somewhat concerned with
the way Ali Baba walked. "Hell, man, the guy waddled like he had a stick of
dynamite up his a**!" "Had I not been on the phone with my probation
officer, I might have checked this guy out some more." "But, we want and
need complete diversity in our passenger screening," stated Jackson.
"Plus,we think the flight crews on those planes pose more of a threat to
safety than one ******* with an exploding a**." "That's why you can always
find one of them pilots in barefeet waiting for his shoes to be x-rayed. I
love seeing the look on their faces when we make them do that," he guffawed,
adding "I just hope they don't give those guys guns, 'cause they might want
to even the score."
Federal officials are now referring to this latest terrorist attempt as a
'butt bomb'. Security experts believe this could be even more difficult to
detect than the primitive 'shoe bomb' used by terrorist Richard Reid. "I'm
not sure how were going to check for 'butt bombs'," stated Jackson. "We
don't have technology to do it, but we've got to check somehow in the
interest of safety," adding, "I think we should start with Flight Crews
first."
Kansas City - An American Airlines flight enroute from Los Angeles to JFK
airport in New York City was diverted to Kansas City yesterday when a
passenger was noticed attempting to light a fuse protruding from his rectum.
Flight Attendant Bunny Haggarty said she noticed the man seated in an aisle
seat leaning forward and holding a cigarette lighter behind his legs. "I
though he was just trying to light a fart," said Haggarty, "like our pilots
are always doing on layovers." "Then I saw this string-like thing hanging
from his a**, and I got scared." Haggarty immediately called for assistance.
Several male passengers subdued the man before he was able to light the
fuse.
After landing in Kansas City, authorities found the man's intestines were
stuffed with military grade C4 explosive. FBI agents stated that it would
have been a complete catastrophe if the passenger had succeeded in lighting
the fuse. The passenger, Mohammed Bin Ali El Batout Nabeel Sin Abba Rahim
Mansour Ali Baba, Age 25, was carrying fourteen passports from various
countries throughout the middle east. Asked why he had stuffed himself full
of plastic explosives, Ali Baba stated, "I was planning to blow the chit out
of the plane." "I wanted to kill all the Americans and Jews to show that we
are a peace loving pipple."
Airport security agents in Los Angeles remembered seeing Ali Baba as he
boarded American flight 90. They were a bit concerned because his name would
not fit on the front of the ticket, he was wearing a checkered tablecloth as
a hat, looked like he was ready to kill someone, was reading an Al Quaeda
training manual and had on a "F*** America" tee-shirt. According to Federal
Airport Security standards, however, individuals cannot be profiled for
additional security simply because they are young, middle-eastern men.
The security supervisor, Leroy Jackson, said he was somewhat concerned with
the way Ali Baba walked. "Hell, man, the guy waddled like he had a stick of
dynamite up his a**!" "Had I not been on the phone with my probation
officer, I might have checked this guy out some more." "But, we want and
need complete diversity in our passenger screening," stated Jackson.
"Plus,we think the flight crews on those planes pose more of a threat to
safety than one ******* with an exploding a**." "That's why you can always
find one of them pilots in barefeet waiting for his shoes to be x-rayed. I
love seeing the look on their faces when we make them do that," he guffawed,
adding "I just hope they don't give those guys guns, 'cause they might want
to even the score."
Federal officials are now referring to this latest terrorist attempt as a
'butt bomb'. Security experts believe this could be even more difficult to
detect than the primitive 'shoe bomb' used by terrorist Richard Reid. "I'm
not sure how were going to check for 'butt bombs'," stated Jackson. "We
don't have technology to do it, but we've got to check somehow in the
interest of safety," adding, "I think we should start with Flight Crews
first."