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Cacophonix
17th Sep 2013, 15:38
Well I don't think I am but my lack of total commitment to rushing around and vacuuming every spare inch of the house every day coupled with my tendency not to arrange the pillows on the bed, stripy side up, is a continual casus belli with the Obergruppen FŁhrerin.

Is it just me or are many women obsessed with meaningless cleaning rituals and the like or am I what I think I am not, namely a lazy slob...?

What do PPRuNers from either side of the house working divide think about this subject or am I inviting internecine strife by just raising this subject?

Am I hardwired to avoid housework? - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/10252230/Am-I-hardwired-to-avoid-housework.html)

Caco

The SSK
17th Sep 2013, 15:44
I used to be a very capable ironer of shirts, but
Donít bother with the button band, it will be covered up with the buttonhole band
If wearing a tie, donít bother with the buttonhole bandÖ
If wearing a jacket, donít bother with the sleeves (more than 50% of the effort). Cuffs are quick and easy.

Slob. Moi?

Pelikal
17th Sep 2013, 15:46
I'm a lazy slob. I leave stuff on the floor. Next silly question.

er340790
17th Sep 2013, 15:48
No, usually quite the opposite, but I think there are times when it is good to give our natural slobbish tendencies full rein...

Case in point: wife went on a shopping trip to NY with her sister last weekend. So... Saturday was spent in my dressing gown, watching 3 consecutive live Premiership matches, steady stream of coffee, tea, then beers as the day progressed. Dog didn't get walked. Cars didn't get washed. 3 evening meals from Fri-Sun of: chicken curry, T-bones on the BBQ and massive Texan chili. Slept 10 hours a night and things slowed down to a total stop. Bliss.

By the time she got back, I don't think I've ever felt so relaxed. Feels like I've been on a great vacation!!! ;) :E

(Must do it again soon!)

rgbrock1
17th Sep 2013, 15:48
Caco:

I am the self-designated cleaner of the castle and prefer it that way. (Mrs. rgbrock1 does the cooking. I burn water. It works out best this way.)

And I've been the self-designated cleaner regardless of whom I lived with, or lived alone. I feel I do a much better job cleaning things and much more thorough. (It' ain't clean 'til it's clean. YES DRILL SERGEANT.) However, I am far from neurotic about it. The cleaning gets done once per week, twice per week for the toilets. And that's it. This way, I also get to nag the Mrs. when she drops something on my spotless floors. ("Did you see what you just dropped on my clean floors? Now pick it up promptly or suffer the consequences.")

<consequences are usually an implied spanking>

Airborne Aircrew
17th Sep 2013, 15:49
Caco:

The single factor in our once orderly and fairly pristine abode was the introduction of a 3 year old female some 3 years ago. It said in her dossier that she had a tendency to drop things where she was and move on. We had been informed that much of the prose in said documentation was purely imaginary in order to pad the material. From my wife's point of view this was nothing short of a bare faced lie intended to send her to an early grave. Couple "the darned clutter" with the crumbs, melted chocolate, boogers etc. she can become almost apoplectic in short order. I used to point out that small children the world over do exactly the same thing. I've stopped doing so now, I just wait for the cleaning lady to provide my wife with her bi-weekly hour of calm. :ok:

Capetonian
17th Sep 2013, 15:54
I haven't ironed a garment of any kind for 40 years. I don't use the dishwasher, I wash up by hand and find it strangely therapeutic.

I don't use the washing machine, it's far too complicated for me and has as many dials and buttons as a 747 and about 6 slots to put various powders and fluids into. So either the stuff piles up, or I take it to the wishy-washy, or wait until I'm travelling on expenses and get it done that way.

Most of my shirts are the type that can be handwashed, and hung up to dry in the sun, giving them that weather-worn and distinguished look, rather like me in fact!

As for household dusting and vacuuming, I'll do it to the extent necessary to remove any incriminating blonde hairs and so on, otherwise I'm afraid it's a no-no.

rgbrock1
17th Sep 2013, 15:58
I'm glad you brought up the "dusting" chore, Capetonian. Although I clean the homestead in all other matters, I have never, do not now, nor will ever - dust. For me there's something inherently feminine in walking around with a feather duster, meekly swiping the dust off any given object. This I will not do. :eek::eek::eek:

Ironing? I don't iron. Those clothes which will be needed for wearing are neatly and precisely stuck between the mattress and box spring the night before and the next morning, voila, pressed shirt and trousers.

Cacophonix
17th Sep 2013, 15:58
I've stopped doing so now, I just wait for the cleaning lady to provide my wife with her bi-weekly hour of calm. http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/thumbs.gif

When the current Ms Cacophonix came into my life (I always note that she is 'current' only to pretend to myself that I am actually 'free' but in reality haven't been so for 14 years) I was living a splendid bachelor life and employed a young Colombian lady to come in once a week to dust my apartment. She was easy on the eye, wasn't too dear and life was sweet. So what about unironed shirts and the occasional skid mark on the jockies.

Then it all changed. She who dare not be crossed moved in, the Colombian girl was fired and new regime set in! Underpants needed pressing, socks demanded pairing and folding.... aagh... :\

Caco

Lightning Mate
17th Sep 2013, 16:00
Mt wife is still working and I'm retired.

Leaves chores instructions for the day.

She simply doesn't know about JB.

UniFoxOs
17th Sep 2013, 16:03
walking around with a feather duster, meekly swiping the dust off any given object

Only for it to settle back again when the air stops moving. Completely pointless. Removing dust needs a vacuum with a dusting brush attachment.

Lightning Mate
17th Sep 2013, 16:06
All you need to do is employ a housekeeper for a couple of hours a day.

http://i636.photobucket.com/albums/uu82/Lightning_29/hot-housework_zps204a2236.png

11Fan
17th Sep 2013, 16:10
LM, out of curiosity, do you place the most used items on the bottom shelf?

rgbrock1
17th Sep 2013, 16:11
11Fan:

If that was my maid I'd place EVERY item on the bottom shelf. Easier to reach that way. :E:mad::}

Lightning Mate
17th Sep 2013, 16:12
Always, but if the skirt ain't that short then the top shelf! :E

Always leave stuff in the lounge etc. lying on the floor.

11Fan
17th Sep 2013, 16:17
Can you be a luv and get my socks out from under the sofa dear?

Capetonian
17th Sep 2013, 16:21
Can you help me move a small amount of fluid a few inches please?

superq7
17th Sep 2013, 16:33
Caco good thread :ok:

Since we've been married ( my third) I soon discovered my new ish wife likes things to be done " just so" I soon clicked on to this, I purposely did any chores slightly wrong she would say oh let me do that for you, worked a treat.

Reading back what I have just written perhaps that's why I am on number three.

11Fan
17th Sep 2013, 16:35
....perhaps that's why I am on number three

And she's on number 1.



;)

Lightning Mate
17th Sep 2013, 16:37
:D:D........

Lightning Mate
17th Sep 2013, 16:38
OK Capes - get back to the other thread!

Cacophonix
17th Sep 2013, 16:43
Looking at that charming young lady I am apt to think of a friend of mine who employed a rather stunning blond Polish cleaner some years ago. One hot summer's day I dropped by and was stunned to see the young lady going about her business in her bra sans blouse... My friend maintained she always did that in the heat but given his nefarious ways and the gleam in her eye methinks she was cleaning something far closer to him than the floor. ;)

Caco

Lightning Mate
17th Sep 2013, 16:51
And if you need help with the cooking...

http://i636.photobucket.com/albums/uu82/Lightning_29/hot-housework_zps29f6ccfa.png

Airborne Aircrew
17th Sep 2013, 16:54
Caco:

a rather stunning blond Polish cleaner

Hmmm... Our cleaning lady is Polish too... While she isn't unattractive she is a little past her "sell by" date... ;)

Lightning Mate
17th Sep 2013, 16:56
Wossa wrong with that?

"port in a storm" springs to mind!

Smeagol
17th Sep 2013, 16:57
To answer the original poster's question; No, I am not a slob.

I do most of the housework in our minor mansion(!), I vacuum, I operate the washing m/c, I iron, I wash dishes, I prepare and cook most meals. I do this for a couple of reasons
1) I really don't mind doing it, it is a change from the day job, and I find certain tasks therapeutic (ironing is !)
2) Mrs S has severe arthritis and attempting most of the above tasks cause considerable pain.

We do employ some part time help with household tasks but I find myself repeating some due to their not being carried out to acceptable standards. (I hate the way the cleaner manages to leave the kitchen floor 'sticky' after allegedly cleaning it!).

Am I too picky?

Lightning Mate
17th Sep 2013, 16:59
We do employ some part time help with household tasks but I find myself
repeating some due to their not being carried out to acceptable standards.

Get another one then.

11Fan
17th Sep 2013, 17:03
I hate the way the cleaner manages to leave the kitchen floor 'sticky'

One wonders if LM (based on his examples) faces the same dilemma.

Smeagol
17th Sep 2013, 17:05
Employment of the home help is not my department! Rewashing the kitchen floor is easier than having an argument about how good the 'help' is!

(I have learned that certain arguments cannot be won!)

superq7
17th Sep 2013, 17:07
LM

I agree before my latest marriage when I was single I [email protected] quite a few err older ladies/ port in a storm types, very acceptable.

Lightning Mate
17th Sep 2013, 17:09
Now you're talking - like a fighter pilot. :)

Are you going to post on WoE ?

Airborne Aircrew
17th Sep 2013, 17:15
Now you're talking - like a fighter pilot.

No standards... :E

superq7
17th Sep 2013, 17:16
LM

Can't post pics but a good starting point is Sands Nightclub Weston - Super- Mare, but you must be wearing beer goggles :ok:

Lightning Mate
17th Sep 2013, 17:18
Would you therefore please go back to WoE and call an Open House.

sitigeltfel
17th Sep 2013, 17:25
"After the third year, the dust doesn't get any worse."

Quentin Crisp.

Discorde
17th Sep 2013, 17:34
Todd Snider - Alright Guy - YouTube

Windy Militant
17th Sep 2013, 23:42
After moving into my current abode a few years back I had my wisdom teeth removed under a general anaesthetic, so my mum decided to to take the nursing aftercare so I could be allowed out and home in a couple of days rather than staying in for a week.
After she got home a friend of hers made a comment on the lines of his place must look as if a bombs hit it, after a slight pause mumsie dearest replied " No it would be tidier if it had been hit by a bomb! :ooh:

Dak Man
18th Sep 2013, 00:58
It might be interesting to hear how others perceive each of us.

Just in case, I am a complete and utter neat freak in extremis.

Airborne Aircrew
18th Sep 2013, 01:38
My wife and I are diametrically opposed in certain things. I am, almost weekly, informed that I should be a bloody farmer and she's a Yank so "bloody" isn't part of her vocabulary, (chalk one up to me there)... :ok:

We have had a never ending argument that revolves around "function" and "form". My lovely wife needs anything/everything to look nice... regardless of it's use. Myself, I don't give a rat's behind what it looks like as long as it does what it says on the tin... We're trying to design the new landscaping for the beach at the moment... It's proving to be a bit of a chore from both our points of view... :uhoh:

mikedreamer787
18th Sep 2013, 02:15
Housework is women's work
as far as I'm concerned. Call
me a troglodyte I don't care.

I'm a slob and when I'm away
from home every few weeks I
employ an Asian housemaid
around my flat whose job it is
to deslobberfy all my slobbery.

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRBgOeRUHe82SFBNsEF440CN0JlsSq8tocKYTQWOLK JhgMZCYHVKg

I don't really care if she does
a good job or not as long as
her attire is acceptable! :E

ExSp33db1rd
18th Sep 2013, 02:21
Am I too picky?


Yes.

Everything I own, use , wear, drive, fly etc is a tool, not a fashion statement, if it needs cleaning for hygiene, or protection, then so be it, otherwise if it ain't broke don't clean ( fix ) it.

Airborne Aircrew
18th Sep 2013, 12:57
ExSpeedbird:

http://www.hqrafregiment.net/images/smilies/worthy.gif

tony draper
18th Sep 2013, 13:22
Jo Brand came out with a goodun on QI, she said if you get the feeling you should do a bit housework stick your hand down the front of your pants,if you find a pair of bollix there, ignore the feeling
:rolleyes:

Sunnyjohn
18th Sep 2013, 15:02
Is it just me or are many women obsessed with meaningless cleaning rituals and the like or am I what I think I am not, namely a lazy slob...? Not here. Mrs SJ and I share the cleaning. I usually wash up (we have no dishwasher) and if it's my turn to cook, I always sweep the kitchen floor afterwards. We have our own bathrooms and I clean mine. The only thing of mine that is ironed nowadays is trousers and even then not always. I try to clean up after any DIY although not always successfully. Reading the foregoing, I think I'm a lucky guy!

Lightning Mate
18th Sep 2013, 16:02
Today I have washed clothes and hung them out, cleaned the cooker and kitchen floor and done the washing up (not in the dishwasher).

For tomorrow I await instructions.

A womans' work is never done.

rgbrock1
18th Sep 2013, 16:04
LM wrote

A womans' work is never done.

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, and maybe not, but I could have
sworn you were a guy, Lightning Mate. Don't know the exact reasons why I thought that but, alas, I did.

Lightning Mate
18th Sep 2013, 16:09
Corse I'm a guy - retired and do some housework.

rgbrock1
18th Sep 2013, 16:36
LM:

I thought as much. I guess I was confused by your writing:
a womans' work is never done

GGR
18th Sep 2013, 16:45
We have an Eastern European lovely working for us. Nick name Kronenburg as she looks 16 from the back but sadly 64 from the front

Lightning Mate
18th Sep 2013, 16:53
as she looks 16 from the back but sadly 64 from the front

Tried doggy have you ? :E

Krystal n chips
18th Sep 2013, 18:31
I feel I do a much better job cleaning things and much more thorough. (It' ain't clean 'til it's clean. YES DRILL SERGEANT.) However, I am far from neurotic about it. The cleaning gets done once per week, twice per week for the toilets. And that's it. This way, I also get to nag the Mrs. when she drops something on my spotless floors. ("Did you see what you just dropped on my clean floors? Now pick it up promptly or suffer the consequences.")


<consequences are usually an implied spanking>

No, no hint of any form of neurosis in the above, unless....... you have a rational mind that is.

The last line was, well, rather Freudian. I only wish I could introduce you to some of the ladies I know and you could offer them this little pearl of "wisdom"....it would be reasonable to assume that bits ( various ) of your anatomy would be "unfit for purpose" as they say shortly thereafter.

You may however, be delighted to learn that in my Air Force days, the word slob often featured in conversational topics....possibly because my uniform had a minimalist association with an iron and likewise my shoes with polish..complete waste of time ( mine ) when working on aircraft.

I've long been of the opinion that the "shiny shoes / pressed underwear and uniform" brigade used this as an excuse to cover their own incompetence however.

Will you be training the dust pan, brush and hoover to stand to attention when you play the "Stars and Stripes" at all ?

GGR
18th Sep 2013, 21:14
Thanks LM

I will suggest it at my earliest opportunity

sisemen
18th Sep 2013, 22:21
I got really depressed and unhappy when the wife left.

But since then I've left the pots unwashed, I've spent a fortune on booze and gambling and I've shagged two different women.

She's going to be really cross when she gets back from work.

Capetonian
18th Sep 2013, 22:32
My best friend ran off with my wife.
I miss him!

Seriously though, I enjoy being a slob when SWMBO is away or when I'm on my own in a hotel. I can ....... how can I put this delicately ...... do things one does not do in polite company ....... I don't have to shower ...... I can leave my sweaty socks and dirty clothes in a pile on the floor to be put on again the next day ....... I can eat all two day's meals off one plate ....... I can have six cups of tea without washing the cup ....... I can make the cat sleep outside ....... I can watch porn with the sound on ......... I can sleep on the sofa ........ I can make a peanut butter and honey sandwich at 4 in the morning or at 4 in the afternoon without an interrogation .... I can call anyone I want when I want ........

It's bliss!

Airborne Aircrew
18th Sep 2013, 22:36
Cape:

how can I put this delicately ...... do things one does not do in polite company ....... I don't have to shower ...... I can leave my sweaty socks and dirty clothes in a pile on the floor to be put on again the next day ....... I can eat all two day's meals off one plate ....... I can have six cups of tea without washing the cup ....... I can make the cat sleep outside ....... I can watch porn with the sound on ......... I can sleep on the sofa ........ I can make a peanut butter and honey sandwich at 4 in the morning or at 4 in the afternoon without an interrogation .... I can call anyone I want when I want ........

It's bliss!

Jeez, I do that when she's home... You should see me when she's gone... :}

radeng
18th Sep 2013, 23:19
She's been in Bucharest for ten days. Due back tomorrow, out to Paris on Sunday, back on the Friday, out to Singapore for a week on the Saturday. We don't currently have a cleaner. Tomorrow is put some bread on to bake, do dusting, vacuuming, wash the kitchen, utility and bathroom floors, clean bathroom, decide tomorrow night's menu, shop for food and get some fresh flowers for her - all before she gets back at 1430 - and then cook dinner....she has to interview a candidate for cleaner tomorrow and another on Friday afternoon.

Plus all the other things us retirees get lumbered with.....


I get the last words - "Yes dear". But she does bring me back expensive brandies from the duty free in the far east. There are still those in this world that think business travel is a privilege, even when it's in cattle class. They are those in the office who don't have to do it.

Lightning Mate
19th Sep 2013, 07:14
As in, said to wife:

"Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm ?"

"I don't like to disturb you when you're at work"

Capetonian
19th Sep 2013, 10:32
Women can be slobs too :

Meet Britain's worst wife - and she's proud of it: Kate won't cook, won't clean and only makes love to her husband (who works AND does all the chores) once a decade

Britain's worst wife - and she's proud of it: Kate won't cook, won't clean and only makes love to her husband (who works AND does all the chores) once a decade | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2424680/Britains-worst-wife--shes-proud-Kate-wont-cook-wont-clean-makes-love-husband-works-AND-does-chores-decade.html#ixzz2fKTuCUhx)

Bloody stupid article though, typical DM .........
And if you think I reward his sterling domestic efforts with treats in the bedroom, I'm afraid I fail in that department, too. Intimacy is reserved only for his birthdays - and then just the ones with a zero.It then shows a photo of them with their two children aged 2 and 6!

Lightning Mate
19th Sep 2013, 10:35
Yep - she's hot one minute during sex and cold the other.

Once in July and once in January.

Cacophonix
19th Sep 2013, 10:41
It then shows a photo of them with their two children aged 2 and 6!

Yeah, typical DM accuracy laced with the usual claptrap.

Anway aren't female slobs called slatterns and whimsical blokes, like this lady's old man, pussies?

Caco

radeng
19th Sep 2013, 12:20
Finished the housework, and got backache!

Reminds me of Jerome K. Jerome's 'Three Men in a Boat' - 'Then we cleaned up and put everything straight ( a continual labour which was beginning to afford me a pretty clear insight into a question that had often posed me - namely, how a woman with the work of only one house on her hands manages to pass away her time)....

visibility3miles
19th Sep 2013, 14:25
I plead the fifth.

Sunnyjohn
19th Sep 2013, 16:51
Meet Britain's worst wife - and she's proud of it: Kate won't cook, won't clean and only makes love to her husband (who works AND does all the chores) once a decade so they won't be spending the money the Daily Fail paid 'em for the article on contraceptives, then . .:O

Capetonian
19th Sep 2013, 17:12
I'd say her attitude would be a very effective contraceptive.

mikedreamer787
20th Sep 2013, 04:45
Looks to me this Kate has ripped Ben's
balls off and sewed them onto herself.

With her obviously pulling in more quids
and probably a lot of assets in her name,
I reckon bespectacled Ben is fcuked for
life.