Fur Coats and No Knickers

[D-IFF_ident]

I've waited a few weeks to see if I missed something in the budget, but I have still yet to hear of any mention of Defence spending.

The USA have tripled their homeland defence budget to around $40bn since Sep 11 and substantially increased monies available to their Armed Forces.

And yet we read in the Sunday Express (ran out of Torygraphs at the newsagents) of the "Scandal of our Khaki heroes in tattered trousers". We have some nice new Eurofighters on the way but we don't have flying suits in stores to clothe the pilots. I see aircrew wearing shoes with their old and threadbare flying suits because they can't get flying boots and we no longer issue FRCs to all our pilots, to save money.

Come on Tony, if you want to offer our services to every deployment George W commits to then you're going to, at least, have to give us a few pennies to buy some clothes. It's hard enough spending as long as we do away from our families and our time at home catching-up with the plethora of unnecessary paperwork borne of idle-handed empire builders. If you want to send our depleted and over-stretched forces to the Falklands, Sierra-Leone, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Israel, Kosovo, Bosnia, Cyprus, Oman, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Canada, USA, Northern Ireland, Georgia, Gibraltar, East Timor, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Mozambique, Germany, etc etc etc, then it would be appreciated if we could have the infrastructure to support us.

[WE Branch Fanatic]

I agree,

Maybe we could keep our Sea Harriers too? Much better than getting sunk.

[Broken Wings]

D-IFF_ident

With the thread title you gave I thought I was going to be able to recall an anecdote and how you disappoint! Don't get me wrong everything you have said is spot on and you have my full support.
However, just in case there are others like me.....
When I was on my way back from a Jural det the crew had a sweep stake to see who would get the quickest s*!g after landing. Well after the tech debrief we started to pass on our goodbyes when we spotted the Captain's wife in the car wearing a fur coat!
We discovered after a debrief the following week that he won the bet hands down .. just outside the main gate... as she was "wearing a fur coat and no knickers"!

[Always_broken_in_wilts]

Will he ever stop "banging" on about the bl@@dy sea harrier. A person can't go anywhere in here without having the demise of the navel "Cortina" pop up in conversation. Like BW I was hoping for something quite light hearted, instead we get WEBF and the SHAR :mad: again. The sooner the old banger goes the sooner "pruning fun" returnns :p

all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced

[PlasticCabDriver]

I don't think there are any rules about hijacking threads and turning them into something else, so we could always turn it into a shagging thread.
As I think I know who D-IFF_ident is, I'm sure he wouldn't mind, it always used to be a subject very close to his heart anyway!

PS Where's Admin Guru gone?

[WE Branch Fanatic]

Hey

I was only making a point. My life might depend on the Sea Jet .....

How can you make banter about the way the services a f***** up the a*** by Blair and co?

[BEagle]

...something which Churchill would have asserted that the Navy was particularly well placed to comment upon?


BW - I think I know both the Captain and the lady involved in the fur coat saga....it must have given him one heck of a nice surprise!

But I've yet to hear of a quicker 'DCO' than a mate once achieved when we landed in Cyprus! Chocks-to-$hag in under 20 minutes......he joined us in the bar with a very happy smile indeed!

[SAGA LOUT]

D-IFF Ident:
Dead right mate - it's a bloody disgrace caused by what appears to be a woeful lack of Contractural supervision on the flying clothing front and, no doubt for paying peanuts for the contracts when/if they get them. This sort of caper was wrought by Maggie Thatcher and her 'competative tendering' theory gone mad. The CAS was briefed in Mar this year and according to paperwork I've seen the shortages should be resolved between May - Jul this year - oh yeah! I remember the time when you used to be issued pant/knickers (and pyjamas) from stores and bloody good they were too, unfortunately you then had no excuse for not wearing them!!

[Cabe LeCutter]

Am I getting confused, but are you advocating giving aircrew fur coats but no long johns? sounds like your typical supply cock-up

Head down, look out for the flack.

[AllTrimDoubt]

WEBF

If my deduction from this and other threads is correct, you have yet to even set foot in a Pusser's Grey or indeed don the (not available at the moment Sir) uniform. Am I correct?

If so please give it a rest re the demise of the SHAR and your "fate" to come. Zip.

[Grimweasel]

Sorry to bang on about the SHAR again, I'm bored of the little beggar too!
Tony and the cronies have obviously put great thought into this little escapade. Short of flying clothing? Easy! Ditch the Navy flyboys and rob all thier flying gear off them. You save millions on ridding us of rusty old sea dogs, and at the same time, you rob all the gear and give it to the TRUE flying service! Nice! (Jazz Club)

Hopefully IDS will be in the chair of power sooner rather than later!

[D-IFF_ident]

Fair enough,

I never thought it would happen to me, but as I walked into clothing stores the other day this most beautiful 21 yr old blonde greeted me at the counter. After offering me a nice new blue jumper, flying suit, boots and my choice of any other item of military clothing I cared to choose she invited me around the back for some 'assistance' in trying my new kit on.

etc.




Edited to remove my boring signature.

[Blacksheep]

Yeah diffident, I had that dream once as well :rolleyes:

There used to be an RAF Branch called Stores that was changed in the seventies to Supplies. A letter to the RAF News commenting on the name change asked when they would stop storing and start supplying. We used to wander about Bomber Command in patched up anoraks and second hand Trog-boots with pre-used sea-boot socks. HQ squandered all the cold weather clothing money on Avtag, see. So nothing has changed eh?

**************************
Through difficulties to the cinema

[EESDL]

You're all a bunch of amateurs (dot.com)
Why wait 'til you're off the aircraft?
Or does that count still being 'downroute'?

[bigley]

Well if this is going to become a shagging story/harrier thread I would just like to point out that there is no way you can do what you could do in the back of a Wessex in a Harrier!!

I know of stories where a DCO was done before landing and sometimes there was a second party involved too!!!

:D

[WE Branch Fanatic]

In my defence......

1. The thread, despite its title, appeared to be about how under-resourced HM Forces are.
2. I mentioned the Sea Jet because it represents a major capaibility we are losing.
3. You're right. I'm not in uniform yet, that will change VERY soon. I have spent over ELEVEN years working towards an RN careers, including having some real setbacks, worked in the defence industry, and had many members of the various services as friends.
4. Are you saying that if you are not in HM Forces you cannot have a view on defence?
5. I have commented on a number of topics on PPRuNe, not just the SHAR.
6. In the back of a Wessex? Not very comfortable.......

[D-IFF_ident]

The message hidden in the title was supposed to suggest the current predicament of our armed forces. We are like a woman wearing a fur coat, but no knickers - because we buy big shiney things but not the everyday kit that we need. I could have said 'Saving Pennies, Spending Pounds' or 'New Jets, No Flying Suits' but they didn't seem so catchy.

And you wouldn't have all checked to see what my whinge was.

I have no problems with discussing scantily-dressed ladies mind.

[Yozzer]

There is no way you can do what you "could do" in the back of a Wessex, in a Harrier!!
***************************************************
The Captain would have to fasten his own shoe laces.

The Captain would not have a bored person pulling on his control rods.

The Captain could not see the Crewman sha66ing a baby Air Trafficker stude(1), assisted by a mirror attached to a stick between HIS legs.

Talk to someone else, but then thats not news is it?

The Captain could not sleep. Well; and live to talk about it.

(1) Female version

YOZZER:rolleyes:

[bigley]

EH?

[opso]

There's the infamous Herc captain that managed to DCO on a 45 min flagstop in Sarejevo during the busy times there. All the better for the fact that it wasn't pre-arranged.

[Broken Wings]

Opso

Now that's what I call a fast worker! What's his secret?

[SAGA LOUT]

Does your last post imply that Wessex crewies were occasionally a bunch of w@nkers?:rolleyes:

[opso]

Broken Wings,

It was just his talent! Something he was reknowned for.

Wonderful bloke to know, excellent captain and the pilot with the best pair of hands I've had the pleasure to fly with. Shame that he left under a cloud. :(