View Full Version : Inebriate klutzes...

9th Sep 2013, 22:58
I was very amused to read this story of cack handedness...

Inebriate journalist dubbed 'Swiss Mr Bean' reaches for canapé and smashes priceless artwork - News - Art - The Independent (http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/art/news/inebriate-journalist-dubbed-swiss-mr-bean-reaches-for-canap-and-smashes-priceless-artwork-8805308.html)

Quite a few hacks were probably thinking “there but for the Grace of God…” when on Saturday evening in Lugano’s swanky Meno Uno gallery, one of their number, tanked up on free cocktails, made a lunge for a passing nibble but instead knocked over and destroyed a priceless work of art.

Over the years I have managed to break a number of fragile things while stone cold sober so I shouldn't laugh I guess. I am sinister though and as such have an excuse of sorts. Are you a cack hand and if so what is the most expensive or most embarassing thing you have broken (I include a Wedgewood plate and a valuable Chinese teapot in my repetoire of ham fisted shame)...?


9th Sep 2013, 23:07
Like you, I can be cack handed at times, often when not feeling
confident. When confident, not a problem.

Spacial awareness due to eye sight can sometimes be a problem
- coffee cup clipping edge of desk etc.

But the worst heart attack I ever gave myself was when
up in Darwin and handing the action of a quite expensive
(value of a new car), highly engraved double rifle to a mate,
I thought he had it, I let it go and it dropped onto the
car port concrete :(

I nearly had a heart attack and so did he !

Luckily, no damage.

9th Sep 2013, 23:14
I seem to lack subtlety in the finer digital manipulation area. My coarser hand eye co-ordination is reasonably good and I can drive cars, bikes and fly an aircraft passably.

I would suck as a surgeon and the only time I tried to sew on a button I managed to sew the shirt to my trousers... :\

As a kid my mother, who was an Anglo snob and cricket fan, sent me off for spin bowling lessons with a bloke called Xenophon Balaskas who was rendered speechless by my inept spin bowling technique so all was not good on that front... rugby suited me better.

Ah well...


9th Sep 2013, 23:17

You and I are very similar, although I can bowl !

Everything else is about the same (although I have only flown
an aircraft once doing acrobatics).

9th Sep 2013, 23:24
Everything else is about the same (although I have only flown
an aircraft once doing acrobatics).

Do you mean you fly an aircraft but only flew aeros once or do you mean you only flew an aircraft once and did aerobatics...? :\

The latter possibility intrigues me as, if that was the case, there is clearly a story there? Think Tintin and the Thompson twins winning an aero trophy accidently in History of the Black Island... ;)


Airborne Aircrew
9th Sep 2013, 23:30
It's only art... Who cares?

Of course, I keep getting told I should have been a bloody farmer... I see that as a positive... :ok:

9th Sep 2013, 23:36
"only flew an aircraft once and did aerobatics...?"

A RAAF Herc Pilot who lived across the road from me had been
getting his license. As he was moving to a new posting, he asked
if I wanted to go up with him so off we went to Moorabbin airport.

I was feeling a bit crock that day which didn't help but off we went,
he did the usual (and my apologise if the terminology is wrong)
Barrel Roll, roll on it's Axis ???, Loop the loop and then the
vertical climb until the aircraft stalled and fell backwards and
then flicked the ? rudder ? to turn the aircraft 180 degrees.

When he had finished all that, I had my head in the sick bag :O

He then said did I want to go and jumped at the chance.

Since I couldn't see the instruments, he read out the speed
so I knew when to carry out the appropriate action.

Hell, it was fun but not sure I would ever make a good pilot !

10th Sep 2013, 01:24
I cringe to think of the stuff I've broken and then carefully put back together hoping the owner wouldn't notice until after I had gone.

Cut glass is the easiest since the scotch tape doesn't show as easily among the facets

dubbleyew eight
10th Sep 2013, 01:50
your body is wired in ways that can be changed. taking up a new interest that involves rewiring your body and reattuning your neural system can take 10 years.that is why it takes so long to learn the violin or any other musical skill.

that is also why learning to fly in your later years will see you seeming like a klutz against kids who learnt in their early 20's.
you just have to persist until your subconscious has learnt the fine muscle control necessary.

when I was a little kid playing school cricket I caught a cricket ball on the full. it was a no bounce pitched ball on to the bat of our ace cricketer who gave it his all. I caught it single handed about 5ft from the bat.
I can still remember how much it hurt.
I have never bothered to catch a ball since.
the bloody things can fall on the ground and be picked up.
call me useless at sports, I dont care, never again the sensation of my hand exploding.

10th Sep 2013, 06:44
Our family joke was that I could trip over the pattern in the carpet. Had absolutely no hand/eye coordination and was thus utterly crap at sports, which I hate to this day, apart from golf at which ..... see above!

tony draper
10th Sep 2013, 07:38
'The sculpture, an opaque glass disk with a central impression of Planet Earth at its centre',
Sounds like a piece of fairground junk to me.

10th Sep 2013, 09:12
2000 year old piece of Roman pottery I dropped at an archaeological class.

10th Sep 2013, 09:32
If the journalist had been a bit quicker (or more sober) he could have claimed that his action was in itself a work of art, destroying a supposedly valuable article by aiming for something totally ephemeral.:cool:


No doubt an artist would explain it better.