View Full Version : The Best Way to Get Rid of your Ex

30th Aug 2013, 03:27
Having trouble with the ex?

If you live in North Korea it's quite easy....

Kim Jong-un's ex-lover executed by firing squad - The West Australian (http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/world/18718133/kim-jong-uns-ex-lover-executed-by-firing-squad/)

Quick burst of machine gun fire and then you can pack the whole of her family off to the gulag as well. Neat.

(when that country eventually gets its freedom back there's going to be an awful lot of payback)

30th Aug 2013, 05:51
Where is the outcry of indignation from the "free" worlds performing artists? I suppose most of them must agree with this, given the deafening silence.

30th Aug 2013, 06:08
Apparently she busted Kim Fat Wun's...sorry...the country's
p0rn laws. Who else thinks that's just a made up excuse?

He was probably scared she'd one day reveal how tiny small
his needled!ck is.

30th Aug 2013, 06:16
Or how he couldn't get it up :O

She probably didn't enjoy having that fat lump on her !

Lon More
30th Aug 2013, 06:19
"family values" in extremis?

Effluent Man
30th Aug 2013, 06:30
Looking forward to the North Korean tours of Justin Bieber and One Direction

Worrals in the wilds
30th Aug 2013, 06:41
What a big tough guy. :yuk:
Further proof that the Kim clan should be jointly hunted down and shot like Gaddafi.

30th Aug 2013, 06:49
This system in North Korea should have been put down 10 years ago when it was still time to do it.

30th Aug 2013, 06:50
I think the Kim clan should be given a head start Worrals.
That way one could make it an enjoyable sport on the day.

30th Aug 2013, 06:53

Even as unfit as I am, that little fat fcuk would need one hell of a head start as I reckon I could still catch up to within 500 metres of him which is all I need to take a shot.

Krystal n chips
30th Aug 2013, 06:56
" when that country eventually gets its freedom back there's going to be an awful lot of payback) "

You may have just made a rather uncanny prediction here....hopefully to come to fruition.

Since Pugsly has a certain affinity for grand gestures in removing those who do not conform to his ego it seems, he may well be the last of the dynasty..

I know there's some others available as it were, but, when you start demonstrating your inability to rule by the tried and tested process of executions, then as time progresses and the N.Koreans get more and more pŁ$sed off with starving and other deprivations...and do we really know how deep the support is for the regime?....then eventually, being human beings, enough is enough ......exit Porky...probably on top of 3 tonnes of Semtex just to make sure.

30th Aug 2013, 07:14
I could still catch up to within 500 metres of him which is all I need to take a shot.

Make sure you wing him first 500N enough to
bring him down. Then take all the time in the
world walking that half click for the final kill.

Why? Not cruelty and vengeance of course
but for the animals and wildlife of Nature.

It'll give the vultures ample time to work out
beforehand who gets what in the ensuing
feast without all the usual yelling and brawling
at the table.

30th Aug 2013, 07:22

Maybe the real question is, would you bother to walk the extra 1/2 click
at all, instead just leave him there for whatever lives in NK to have a chew
on him while he slowly bleeds out.

I'm not sure I would.

I can hear the screams as the Vultures tear him apart while he is still alive.

In fact, I would say the first thing to have a go would be crows or ravens
as they are always quick to a kill and the first thing they do is peck the
eyes out, whether it is alive or not.

Gruesome but true.

Metro man
30th Aug 2013, 07:37
The Chinese will keep North Korea going one way or another, they don't want millions of refugees streaming across the border and they certainly don't want a united Korea allied to the US across the river.

North Korea is a buffer state for China just like Eastern Europe was for the Soviet Union.

30th Aug 2013, 07:58

But even Fat Kim pushed the boundaries a bit too far last and this year
until told to cool it by China.

The other question is, do China keep NK as it is to stop it from becoming
a huge competitor because it would in all likelihood turn out like South Korea.

I haven't seen that argument put before but it is an interesting thought.

Worrals in the wilds
30th Aug 2013, 09:23
Even as unfit as I am, that little fat fcuk would need one hell of a head start as I reckon I could still catch up to within 500 metres of him which is all I need to take a shot.

Hell I'll have a go, and I'm not even much of a shot...
What I'd really like to do though, is introduce him to a fellow countryman of ours...
I reckon they'd get on really well. :E
Good eating, and I'm not talking about croc. :ok:
Unfortunately I think Metro Man is correct. With friends like that let's all remember who they are the next time they run the 'we're nice people now, all that nasty Revolution was just a big misunderstanding' rhetoric.

30th Aug 2013, 11:34
I found that [email protected] her sister helped.:E

Bob Bevan
30th Aug 2013, 11:42
I always think the way suggested by Billy Connolly on the Parkinson show had some practical benefits Billy Connolly Wife Joke. - YouTube

30th Aug 2013, 11:43
A more relaxing form of musical advice for those struggling with this vexed question...

Paul Simon - 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover + lyrics - YouTube


30th Aug 2013, 12:22
Hey Wyler!

I married that sister! :eek:

Least it explains why she
keeps saying "why baby
give it to me hard! HARD!"

I know now she means 'Wy...' :(

30th Aug 2013, 13:02

I like your idea.

By the time the croc has stashed him, let him rot for a few weeks,
he'd be real ripe and juicy just like the crocs like them !

30th Aug 2013, 13:13
I can hear the screams as the Vultures tear him apart while he is still alive.

You'll have to forgo that I'm afraid, the vultures won't touch him until he is well past 'rare'! ;)

30th Aug 2013, 13:19

Is that so ?

The Hawks and Eagles in this country are not so fussy,
they come down and eat straight away !

30th Aug 2013, 14:39
Looking forward to the North Korean tours of Justin Bieber

Now there's something to look forward to. And then after the North Koreans realize how f**ked up Bieber's music is, just as he himself is, they'll put him in some Gulag (or whatever the N Korean's call theirs) and we'll never see the limp dick again.

I can see the headlines now: Justin Pecker Head Goes to Gulag: N Korea Demands Ransom. No one is interested.

30th Aug 2013, 14:43
KAG wrote:

This system in North Korea should have been put down 10 years ago when it was still time to do it.

Well, if you read your history correctly you may recall that back in the early '50s the UN, along with the United States and the Republic of Korea chased the little limp dick North Koreans all the way to the Yalu River border with China. No, I take that back. They kicked their North Korean asses all the way to the border. It was only through the actions of the Chinese that the kicked asses of the North Koreans' were saved. Had it not been for the Chinese People's Liberation Army most North Koreans would still be living in Manchuria. :}:}:}

30th Aug 2013, 14:50
I thought that Bieber was on the list of illegal wepons of mass destruction... release him in Syria?

How embarrassing is this image...? :\



30th Aug 2013, 15:05

WTF is that? :eek::eek::eek:

Oh, it's Him.

Actually, looking at the photo again I think he would be a prime candidate for target practice on the local shooting range.

Run Justin, run.

30th Aug 2013, 15:13
So.... he's not all bad then. :E :E :E

Any chance they could get Kylie Minogue, the Spice Girls and Madonna to do a reunion tour over there????

And while we're at it, Boy George, Soft Cell and the lead singer of Echo & the Bunnymen....

Chr1st! The list could be endless.......

30th Aug 2013, 15:27

Can I add some entries to your list of undesirables, or those whose music sucks?

I'd like to add:

Snoop Dogg (Previously Snoop Doggy Dog but now Snoop Lion. I just call him Stupid Ass.)
Ja Rule
50 Cent (pronounced by his followers as "fity cen")
Tupac Shakur (is that some sort of brand of condom?)

And the epitome of mindlessness:

LL Cool J (what DOES all that mean?)

Nick Riviera
30th Aug 2013, 16:00
You might have a problem sending Tupac there.

Ladies Love Cool J.

30th Aug 2013, 16:06
Back to the original subject of this thread.

Some pretty good answers to the question posed.

But I think the answer should be very simple.

The best way to get rid of your ex is to simply shoot her.

That's it.


No, no, no. I would never just send a Tupac to North Korea.
That would be very unworthy. One would have to send at least a Sixpac to gain favors.

<hat, coat, parachute, out>

30th Aug 2013, 16:11
The best way to get rid of your ex is to simply shoot her.

and then claim that you thought that she was an intruder in the bathroom (http://world.time.com/2013/02/19/oscar-pistorius-tells-court-how-he-shot-girlfriend-reeva-steenkamp/) . . .

30th Aug 2013, 16:16

19 May 1536

13 February 1542

30th Aug 2013, 17:23

That's lost on me.

30th Aug 2013, 17:32
That's lost on me.

I'll give you a hint; Tower of London. :ooh:

30th Aug 2013, 17:49

Thanks for the hint because I was as lost as the others. Now I get it. Duh!

30th Aug 2013, 17:53
19 May 1536 (http://www.theanneboleynfiles.com/19-may-1536-anne-boleyns-execution/)

13 February 1542 (http://www.information-britain.co.uk/famdates.php?id=657)

Mac the Knife
30th Aug 2013, 18:04
Anyone recall the legend of Prometheus"

"The punishment of Prometheus as a consequence of the theft is a major theme of his mythology, and is a popular subject of both ancient and modern art. Zeus, king of the Olympian gods, sentenced the Titan to eternal torment for his transgression. The immortal Prometheus was bound to a rock, where each day an eagle, the emblem of Zeus, was sent to feed on his liver, which would then grow back to be eaten again the next day. (In ancient Greece, the liver, rather than the heart, was thought to be the seat of human emotions.)"

Imaginative chaps those ancient Greeks!



30th Aug 2013, 18:38
Mac the knife:

So, after your little foray into ancient Greek wizardry, can we all assume, then, that the moral of this tale is: to get rid of one's ex you tie her to a rock and hope the eagles eat her liver? However, should she grow another liver* (not quite sure how that works but I'll go along with it for now) that the eagle will come back and feast on the new liver as well?

It all seems way too complicated a method in disposing of one's ex. It's much simpler to take her out to the woods somewhere and shoot her, no?

*IF it was possible to grow another liver I'd be the first one to try it. Lord knows I need a new one anyway, all things/brews considered.

30th Aug 2013, 19:45
A liver will regrow (provided it is still attached to the blood supply and not completely 'consumed').

When liver transplants are performed on babies they trim the liver to size to fit the space available.

Living donor transplants are performed where a section of the donor's liver is used:-
In a typical adult recipient LDLT, 55 to 70% of the liver (the right lobe) is removed from a healthy living donor. The donor's liver will regenerate approaching 100% function within 4–6 weeks, and will almost reach full volumetric size with recapitulation of the normal structure soon thereafter. It may be possible to remove up to 70% of the liver from a healthy living donor without harm in most cases. The transplanted portion will reach full function and the appropriate size in the recipient as well, although it will take longer than for the donor.

From:- Liver transplantation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liver_transplantation#Living_donor_transplantation)

30th Aug 2013, 20:26
All and good, G-CPTN, all and good. But what happens when ones liver has take on the shape of a 12 oz. bottle of Lager? And it contains about as much lager as could fit inside a brewery vat? :}:}:}

30th Aug 2013, 23:42
I've got rid of quite a few, but still don't think there is a BEST way. You have to be creative.....