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I. M. Esperto
29th Apr 2002, 21:17
Aviation Stuff - from ole 'what's his name'

Some old and some new Pilot "stuff".

The three most useless things to an aviator are 1.) The runway behind you
2.) The altitude above you and 3.) A Field Grade Navigator

Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

Progress in airline flying: Now a flight attendant can get a
pilot pregnant.

Airspeed, altitude or brains: Two are always needed to
successfully complete the flight.

A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three
in a row is prevarication.

We have a perfect record in aviation: We never left one up there!

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's
probably a helicopter - and unsafe.

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for
the purpose of storing dead batteries.

Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like
squatting to pee.

Air Force Pilots to Navy Pukes: If you knew how to flare properly
you wouldn't need a a cable plus backup cables plus
save-your-ass-nets every time you attempted to land.

Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight
to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well something was
forgotten. - Robert Livingston, "Flying The Aeronca"

Never fly the 'A' model of anything. - Ed Thompson When a prang
seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object
in the vicinity, as slowly and gently as possible. - Advice
given to RAF pilots during W.W.II.

The Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely
kill you. - Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot

A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane
to its maximum. - Jon McBride astronaut

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into
the crash as possible. - Bob Hoover

If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; Ride the
bastard down. - Ernest K.Gann, advice from the 'old pelican'

Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death I Shall Fear No Evil For
I am 80,000 Feet and Climbing. - Sign over the entrance to the
SR-71 operating location on Kadena

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. - Paul
F.Crickmore

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. -
Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970. (It
was still there in1972.)

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and
pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up,
the pilot dies.

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter it's about to.

steamchicken
29th Apr 2002, 21:25
[email protected]

Send Clowns
29th Apr 2002, 22:24
The last one ain't true, at least on SeaKings*! Things only broke when you shut them down or wanted to start them up again. Once running they were fine :D

*British-made S-61s for the yanks

TwinNDB
29th Apr 2002, 23:50
You start aviation with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The tick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck!

Checkboard
30th Apr 2002, 09:54
Great Aviation Quotes (http://www.skygod.com/quotes/)

I. M. Esperto
30th Apr 2002, 11:39
The only time you have too much fuel aboard is when you are on fire.

Wino
30th Apr 2002, 14:35
Advice for aspiring pilots, all they need to know

Gas is Brains
speed is life
Altitude is insurance
College is money
Seniority is Days off...

Cheers
Wino

solotk
30th Apr 2002, 14:49
Said about a certain American twin in the 60's....

"If you have an engine failure on take-off, the other engine is there to take you to the scene of the crash"

"There are only 2 types of retractable pilots, those who have had a wheels-up landing, and those who are going to"

Tinstaafl
30th Apr 2002, 15:36
Why do light twins have two engines?

Because they need both of them.