View Full Version : Why I like JB...

16th May 2013, 21:25
Because you can ask about a 737 go around and somewhere somebody will kick your head and talk about what profile you are talking about (AP dual channel and that kind of thing)...

You will of course be left bruised but sometimes understanding more...

But it runs deeper than that. Just as you are about to take yourself really seriously somebody will be inclined to do just the opposite and make you realise that you might just be a po-faced prick...

It is enough to make a man take to poetry...:ok:


16th May 2013, 21:28
A post in Jet Blast
Wintry reception each day
I crave another scrum

16th May 2013, 21:30
A post in Jet Blast
Wintry reception each day
I crave another scrum

Johny your haiku is good! ;)


16th May 2013, 22:25
Five-seven-five? You
know there's always a pedant
watching out for you.


Airborne Aircrew
16th May 2013, 22:34
No video?????

Shame on you!!!

Buster Hyman
16th May 2013, 22:40
What type of keyboard are you asking that question with Caco?

I use a G15 at home & find that it helps my thought processes. This generic HP one at work is prone to spelling errurs.

16th May 2013, 22:46
A wash in Jet Blast
Heat, and energy consumed
But with such power

17th May 2013, 12:24
I like JB because it's the only thread on the entire Internet, that I know of, where one can start a thread inquiring into recommended picnic dishes and that thread then descends into arguments about the food that should be brought along, then onto Nazi Stuka dive-bombers over London in The Big One, onto the allied fire-bombing of Dresden, moving right along to the ethical slaughtering of cows and then, finally and mercifully, whether the Pope Really Knows about the pedophiles amongst his holy warriors.

Only in JB can such a plethora and cornucopia of totally unrelated bullshit see the light of day.

17th May 2013, 13:10
Talking of which does anyone fecking hate it when people get to the front of a shopping queue and THEN SEARCH FOR THEIR PURSE

Purse - because it is only ever women

"No that's alright love, you've only been standing in this queue for 10 bloody minutes and now you want to look through that fecking Tardis you call a bag. Please, carry on, I have all the time in the world."

Sorry, just happened to me in Waitrose

17th May 2013, 13:11
Oh and I don't think Stuka's were ever over London

17th May 2013, 13:15
I like - nay, LOVE - JB - because one can ask questions like this:

Has anyone else noticed that whereas the fair sex are depicted on the media as beings who will lie back, smile beguilingly and uncross their legs at the sight of ANY man who is nice to them, the reality is that 99.9% of most ladies wouldn't consider dogging in any shape or form.....
unless flowers, diamond rings, dinner at the River Room and a (witnessed) certificate of conjugal division of belongings have been offered to them...

Is the media distorting the willingness of women to frolic with all and sundry at the drop of a hat (or any similar garment), or is it just that OFSO is so old and repulsive that he wouldn't stand a chance with an 80-year-old Mother Superior recently discharged from a nunnery after seventy years of sexual deprivation ? Eh ?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address.....

17th May 2013, 13:17
Only in JB can such a plethora and cornucopia of totally unrelated bullshit see the light of day

Exactly. I think someone posted the joke on the Friday Joke thread that with all the knowledge of the universe online, most people just post pictures of cats (Milo notwithstanding ;)) and get into arguments with complete strangers. :ok:

17th May 2013, 13:23
... or is it just that OFSO is so old and repulsive that he wouldn't stand a chance with an 80-year-old Mother Superior recently discharged from a nunnery after seventy years of sexual deprivation ?
Nuns have vegetable gardens. Zuchini grow in vegetable gardens.
Sexual deprivation hardly an issue, I'd think.

Might be that "being so old and repulsive" only means that you are harrier and don't smell as nice as a zucchini coated in olive oil. :}

17th May 2013, 13:29
don't smell as nice

Coincidentally enough our scrumptious young cleaning lady this morning told me I smelled lovely, so it can't be that. Yes, zuchini's have a lot to answer for.

Apologies, OFSO has just enjoyed a prolongued Serbian-British lunch and is tired and emotional.

17th May 2013, 13:30
I am envious of this:

prolongued Serbian-British lunch

Lucky you. :ok:

17th May 2013, 13:32
On nuns, zucchinies, olive oil and Stukas...;)

Stukas were used to target British radar here in Blighty but suffered substantial losss once they were divorced from their ground support role that had been so successful on the continent....

As to whether or not the Stuka ever defiled the skies above London specifically, I am not sure.

The Stuka Terror (http://www.airforcemag.com/MagazineArchive/Pages/2008/October%202008/1008stuka.aspx)

"Failure Over Britain

The effectiveness came with a price. Nearly 30 percent of the dive bomber force was destroyed in operations in May and June 1940. Often the Stukas were dispatched with a covering force of fighters, but the RAF quickly learned to pick off the Stukas first. Ground anti-aircraft fire also took its toll.

The Stukas were a key part of Nazi Germany’s plan to knock out the RAF fighter force for an invasion of England, but the slow-flying Stukas suffered when they tried to step out of the battlefield support role and move up to a more strategic task.

Reichsmarshall Hermann Goering wanted especially to use the Stuka’s pinpoint accuracy against RAF radar stations and masts called the Chain Home system. It had proved nearly impossible to take down.

By Aug. 13, the Battle of Britain was raging at its peak. The biggest Stuka success of this campaign came late that day.

At around 5 p.m., a hundred Me 109s flew ahead of 80 Stukas. The bombers decimated the airfield at Detling, in Kent, hitting workshops, mess halls, and more than 20 aircraft on the ground. Yet, no RAF fighters were destroyed in the raid, and the British were about to get rich revenge on the Stukas.

As flying pinpoint bombers, the Stuka needed undefended airspace to operate. When the slow and highly vulnerable Stukas met fighters, it was all over. The top speed of the early Stukas was around 190 mph, compared with a 336 mph for the Hawker Hurricane and 408 mph for the Supermarine Spitfire.

On Aug. 18, British ace Flight Lt. Frank R. Carey led nine Hawker Hurricane fighters head on into a large formation of Stukas attempting to attack the radar station at Poling on the southeast coast of England.

"I fired at one ahead of me—it stood straight up on its nose with flames coming out of it," said Carey. The British destroyed 16 Ju 87Bs in that attack alone. Carey went on to bag 25 kills and become the RAF’s second highest-scoring Hurricane ace.

Despite Goering’s ambitions, the Stuka did not play a significant role in the Battle of Britain after August. Without air superiority, the audacious dive bombing never got going. Fifty-nine of the dive bombers were lost to enemy action from July through September 1940."


17th May 2013, 13:37
most people just post pictures of cats (Milo notwithstanding )

Oi! Behave! I've posted a picture of Milo, my cat. :p

17th May 2013, 13:37
I love Zucchini when its lightly breaded and fried in oil and garlic. I can make a meal just out of that. Of course I never peel it before hand as it tends to fall apart when cooked.

Now egg plant I do peel before frying since its outer fibers without skin are tough enough to keep its shape

17th May 2013, 14:37
Like I wrote earlier: we've gone from a description of why the OP likes JB, to a dissertation on Suka dive-bombers being decimated by the RAF, to zucchini and eggplant. HAVE WE ALL GONE MAD? STARK, RAVING, LOONEY-TUNES MAD?

Does anyone think that Haley Bopp will be back anytime soon? Maybe with the resurrected members of the cult - Heaven's Gate - in tow?

17th May 2013, 14:42
And on the subject of zuchini, another thing. OFSO frequently wines and dines young ladies, who over a meal of stuffed zuchinis regale him with details of their recent sexual exploits with one or more stalwart young men, often in quite intimate and shocking detail. Despite broad hints that he, OFSO, would like to partake of such interlocking orifice liberties with the aforementioned young ladies, no such opportunities have so far been forthcoming.

Do you think I'd have more chance of obtaining sexual mastery if I changed the subject to the use of the JU-87 fitted initally with the Jumo 210 G (W.Nr. 19310) engine in the Spanish Civil War - perhaps mentioning the modifications made to the leading edge made on their own initiative by 353 Geschwäder (Dielendorf), or possibly the reduced angle of the drag brake made for the so-called Wlodjekwsky Campaign ? or would I be flogging a dead horse ?

17th May 2013, 14:46

Not with a zucchini surely! :eek:


17th May 2013, 15:04
Junkers Ju 87 Stukageschwader 1937-41 (http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=sbguRx-KLzEC&pg=PA84&lpg=PA84&dq=Ju-87s+london&source=bl&ots=kuhpAGgAxi&sig=Y7e75aqtdTYVHa0C8S0heZVZz4Q&hl=en&sa=X&ei=mUSWUeepE7K00QXw54CwCQ&ved=0CGUQ6AEwCQ#v=onepage&q=Ju-87s%20london&f=false), page 84

.........The first reported incursions occurred on the night of 15-16 January [1941] when two Stukas each dropped an SC 1000 high explosive bomb apiece on south-east London......

17th May 2013, 15:39
Question. Could one get one's Zucchini delivered by Stuka? Was there sufficient precision? And how well would it have to be cooked?

And please aim the Zuccini at my neighbours* plate because I can't stand the stuff.

(* And should I have put an apostrophe in 'neighbours')

bugg smasher
17th May 2013, 16:10
That, of course, would have to be called, a 'Stucchini', surprised Jerry never thought of that.

jez d
17th May 2013, 16:28
What's all this damned nonesense about zucchinis?

All right thinking persons know that the correct terminology for this particular species of cucurbita pepo is courgette, named after Stuka designer Hermann Pohlmann's favourite cat, whose unfortunate encounter with one of the aforementioned summer squashes coincidentally lead to the creation of the Stuka's 'Jericho Trumpet'.

Milo Minderbinder
17th May 2013, 16:41
Was Limeygal asking me to post a cat picture - I've found an interesting one or two featuring big birds (eagles to be precise) and a "good" cat......

17th May 2013, 16:44
would like to partake of such interlocking orifice liberties

Talk like that and they won't understand you - that's why you don't get anywhere.

Just ask 'Do you fancy a shag?'

17th May 2013, 16:44
I'm sure it was a Jericho Strumpet .... but I may be wrong

Milo Minderbinder
17th May 2013, 16:47
did the Jericho Strumpets blow the ram's horns?

Bob Lenahan
17th May 2013, 18:29
Listen, this zuchini thing reminds me. I've got 8 strawberry plants out front. The plants themselves are very healthy, robust, but only two of them give any fruit- each one (of the two) will produce 2 or at most three (3) very small strawberries. Why is that?

17th May 2013, 18:33
Bob Lenehan:

Are the strawberry plants Jewish? :}

17th May 2013, 18:48
interlocking orifice liberties - as Vulcanised says, they probably look at you pityingly and think you are taking about some computer programme licence. Take his advice and report back with stories.

17th May 2013, 19:13
a salami with a warhead would make mince-meat of any zuccini . . ...

Dear listeners: let me explain. This was terrible news, you understand. Gina was one of a pair of Tuscan salami's which were given to Britain by Italy and were the sole breeders of the rare Tuscan-type sandwich salami as used in all espresso bars and the well-known hors d'oeuvres. This is known to you all, I understand, but, Greenslade, let John Snagge explain. Put the record on.

SNAGGE: (recording)
Last night, over a sleepy Houndsditch, a new and secret missile of terrifying potentiality was successfully tested. It is the so-called Hot Dog. A pre-heated salami fitted with a warhead.

Yes, dear listeners, and strange to relate, these fiendish weapons were not manufactured, but bred in captivity.


But to take up your baton Caco . .. . . . and to state the obvious I suppose, straying in an idle moment into this
sparklingly diverse theme-park can brighten one's day . . .. seeing the days are gone when you'd hear the postman's whistle and tear out expectantly to the letterbox.

(Old fashioned letter writing is a habit I still have not shaken, though the returns are more than disappointing.)

18th May 2013, 02:33
Why do some people feel the need to post in different colours and larger type sizes than the rest of us mere mortals?

Furthermore, in the film "Dambusters" why does Richard Todd say "Rad shutters - Auto" in his final shut down checks in the Lancaster. Was it really the final item in the checklist?

18th May 2013, 03:03
or would I be flogging a dead horse ?

Probably not a horse you'd be flogging after those conversations with young ladies OFSO

18th May 2013, 04:31
Cooking with hot air
Zucchini salami bombs
Welcome the jet blast

18th May 2013, 06:28
Flogging a dead horse - how much you want for it ?

And Stuka's over London - I stand corrected. Excellent link