View Full Version : Morality Test

15th May 2013, 18:04
The Morality Test

This is a really tough one!!

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving
an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.


You are in London -There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.

This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're
caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water.

Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

Suddenly, you see a man in the water..

He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.

You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar...

You suddenly realise who it is... It's Muslim cleric Abu Hamza the
hook handed guy.

You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two options:

You can save the life of Abu or you can shoot a dramatic Prize
winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country's most powerful men!

Here's the question, and please give an HONEST answer...

Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

green granite
15th May 2013, 18:52
Oh definitely colour film, you can print B&W from it if you need to. :ok: :E

15th May 2013, 18:53
See ya, f**k head. snap, snap.

15th May 2013, 20:08
Black and white, to reflect the subject's view of the world. :cool:

15th May 2013, 20:13
sorry, but what's film?

Sailor Vee
15th May 2013, 20:18
True, use a digital camera and you can create whatever effect you desire! You can even make the evil b'stard smile as he goes off to meet all those virgins!

15th May 2013, 20:21
See ya, f**k head. snap, snap.

+ 1

15th May 2013, 20:26
The last time I posted a test like this - it was about which field-of-view binoculars to use when viewing a nearby villa renter's two teenage daughters in the swiming pool - I got severely castigated.

Ouch, it still hurts.

So be careful grumbles69, there are a lot of people on JB who take things seriously and will tell you you've been a naughty boy for encouraging others not to rescue that poor innocent man.....

15th May 2013, 20:26
Very amusing....As much as I deplore Abu Hamza and all that he stands for, in honesty, in that situation whereby a human is drowning I think I would just see the human being and try to save him, letting judgement fall to others about his conduct. That said if the ba$tard ripped my nice expensive photo-journalist clothes with his hook, I'd chin him for good measure!


15th May 2013, 20:31
You can save the life of Abu or you can shoot a dramatic Prize
winning photo,

colour or black and white ? A .38 will do fine.

15th May 2013, 20:35

You are a better man than me :O

I would off course make an attempt to save him
but his damn hook is just so hard to grab hold of.

15th May 2013, 21:48
it was about which field-of-view binoculars to use when viewing a nearby villa renter's two teenage daughters in the swimming pool - I got severely castigated.

Only because you didn't post pictures.

Brian Abraham
16th May 2013, 01:16
The current health and safety rules preclude you attempting to offer aid or succour, not being a trained professional. You are required to call the the appropriate service who attend such matters, and even they are subject to disciplinry action should they not perform the task to required standards. a three-man coastguard crew from Devon was disciplined because they rescued a 13-year-old girl 150 yards off shore using a boat that had not been passed by health and safety officials.


16th May 2013, 02:28
Of course you have to greet him in the appropriate manner, effusive, warm, welcoming....
Salaam halecoum
Halecoum salaam, etc.
by then the f*cker has hopefully drowned.

16th May 2013, 02:32
Or you could say that you have been cutting up Pork for lunch
and have pork fat on your hands so you needed to go and wash
them before helping him out.

By which time it just might be too late ..................

16th May 2013, 07:17
Hey, OFSO, what did you eventually choose? I just bought a pair of 10-30x50 Celestrons which I think would do the job nicely. :E

Dont Hang Up
16th May 2013, 09:43
Personally I think the I would take the responsible attitude and inform the coastguard...

...assuming I could lay my hands on a stamp and an envelope.

16th May 2013, 09:55
Colour or B/W? It's a moot point, surely.

I don't think it'll make a lot of difference which film canister the pathologist discovers rammed down Abu's throat when the cause of death is clearly blunt trauma caused by something having the dimensions of a telephoto lens.

16th May 2013, 10:03

You are in London ...

I'd say "Hi Abu - last I heard you'd been deported to the US where you were in custody - how did you escape and get back over here?"

Dont Hang Up
16th May 2013, 10:12
It was an Extreme Rendition overflight that had to ditch.
Basically Abu thinks he is not having one of his better days. Then he meets Fox3WheresmyBanana.

Cyber Bob
16th May 2013, 11:18
Seeing we're in London -

Dial 111 - lob the phone to him and see if he can 'Hook up' to an operator. While he's on hold and swirling around in the water, snap to your heart's content and send the images to NHS PR machine to use in their next Ad drive.

16th May 2013, 12:15
OFSO wrote:

it was about which field-of-view binoculars to use when viewing a nearby villa renter's two teenage daughters in the swiming pool

Immoral pervert. :} Were you wearing a raincoat when you took the pictures as well? :} And what excuse did you give Mrs. OFSO when you embarked on your dubious mission? Bird watching?

And, most importantly, can you post the picture of your neighbor's daughters here, for all to peruse?!!!

16th May 2013, 12:19
Fox3 wrote:

pathologist discovers rammed down Abu's throat

How barbaric and inhumane: shame on you Fox3. Poor man is fighting for his life and all you can think of is to ram something down his miserable throat?

Me? I wouldn't ram the telephoto lens down his throat. That is very naughty. instead, I'd ram it up his arse.

16th May 2013, 12:24
Bird watching?
Precisely what he was doing. ;)

16th May 2013, 12:29

Eh? Kind of obvious he was NOT bird watching!!! :ok:

16th May 2013, 12:36
RGB-FYI "bird" is Brit slang for female (usually of the fancyable variety) :)

16th May 2013, 12:43

thank you for clarifying as I thought Lonewolf had lost his mind.
I did not know that. Yet I was married to a Scouser for 9 years and never heard that term. (Heard lots of other terms but not that one. My favorite being 'git'. Seemed to be a popular term she used for me. Oh well.)

16th May 2013, 13:18
Surprised by that, RGB. There was a classic '70s british comedy series called "The Liver Birds" (pronounced lie-ver) about 2 single girls. The Liver Bird (supposedly a cormorant) is also the symbol of Liverpool.

This has been a public service announcement.

16th May 2013, 13:21
I was surprised by it too. When I asked her to marry me after drinking 33 bottles of Spaten Lager. :}:E:}:E

16th May 2013, 13:23

That brings back some memories.

Wasn't the guy in the Liver Birds from When the boat comes in ?

I'll have to go and look it up.

My mistake, it was the Likely lads I was thinking of with James Bolam

Alloa Akbar
16th May 2013, 13:47
Speaking of morals.. or lack of..

What would you rather do..

Watch a porn film with your parents, or watch a porn film starring your parents??


16th May 2013, 14:02
Reminds me of the TV quiz show (Don't Forget Your Toothbrush, I think) in which, to win the prize, an audience member had to correctly guess whether his parents preferred missionary, doggie or 69. Parents were wheeled on in a bed to give their answer (no demonstration), and when they revealed it to be 69 the poor bloke was mortified! :p

16th May 2013, 15:25
And what excuse did you give Mrs. OFSO when you embarked on your dubious mission? Bird watching?

RGB, you do realize OFSO is English. That's exactly what he was doing.