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SoundBarrier
11th May 2013, 00:13
Here is a brilliant article in the local rag...

Seven Tips To Lift A Man's Love Life | Stuff.co.nz (http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/love-sex/8658581/Seven-tips-to-lift-a-mans-love-life)

So in effect:-
1. Women want equality (but not all of it)
2. Women want gifts (but not to give)
3. Women want .....
4. Women want ....
5. Women want...

Come on - how about women put some effort in
1. Don't nag
2. Don't tell us what to do
3. Give us gifts - something with a bit of thought (aeroplanes, tools, man toys etc)
4. Do what you're told

*ducks and runs for cover....*

11Fan
11th May 2013, 00:50
What woman want....

How about respect?

Maybe you wouldn't have to duck and run for cover

fernytickles
11th May 2013, 01:03
The company of someone who isn't illiterate?

Airborne Aircrew
11th May 2013, 01:05
I never realized the sound barrier was that slow... At 55 I think I can run faster than that... :}

I have to make an edit though...

He was trying to be funny... He failed, but he was trying...

In future try to make it amusing... That's when you generate a little tickle in the back of the throat - often known as a chuckle... That would be a start...

Something like "What do you call a woman with a brain?"

Errrrr..... I have to go now... She's looking over my shoulder... :sad:

Davaar
11th May 2013, 02:30
Oh Woman! In our hours of ease,
Uncertain, coy and hard to please!
When pain and anguish rack the brow,
A ministering angel, Thou!

Sir Walter Scott.

In my experience, a pretty accurate summary; and not a bad deal to strike, really. After all, Who said you (O.K! O.K! Or I?) were all that damned perfect anyway? And that is about all you have to trade with.

Most (apart from the late Mme. de Stael and our own miss singaporegirl, who both far exceeded most of what I see here) do not think our way, of course, and many do not have a clue at left hand (or right, in the UK) turns across approaching traffic, but that is a trifle.

Fantome
11th May 2013, 04:38
Thank you again . .. you have that
uncanny celtic facility of putting the finger on the essence, whereas the flippant who launched this exchange could not get even his grammar right, right? In the first instance that is. The tenets of Germaine and Simone have long been aired here and elsewhere. A given. For the majority of women, though, what does it really come down to in our western societies? Respect is a bit nebulous. How about love abiding, security and as many children as can be afforded?

ExSp33db1rd
11th May 2013, 05:37
2. Don't tell us what to do

I don't mind being told what to do, i.e. make a cupboard, paint the house, open that jar of pickles - just don't tell us HOW to do it in the same ( or any subsequent ) breath. If I don't know I 'might' ask, otherwise the job will be done MY way !

Pilot.Lyons
11th May 2013, 05:51
Haha ex speedbird so true... So true

Woman generally want everything... I made the mistake of giving my wife everything she ever wanted... And now shes miserable and depressed....

Sometimes the wanting should just stay that way.... Then you have hope and drive in life.

The dream isn't always as good as you imagined.

I should have known better!

B Fraser
11th May 2013, 06:23
If I don't know I 'might' ask, otherwise the job will be done MY way !

amen..........

:D

airship
11th May 2013, 13:40
[HEAVY GRUNT/]Woman want what man want too. Good and regular satisfying sex and commitment from female sexual partner...[/HEAVY GRUNT] :p

Fox3WheresMyBanana
11th May 2013, 14:49
"French girls they want Cartier,
Italian Girls want cars.
American girls want Everything In The World You Can Possibly Imagine"

Rolling Stones
'Some Girls'

Davaar
11th May 2013, 16:28
'Some Girls'

There was another version years ago:

Some girls are nicer than others,
And some girls are fat like their mothers,
And some girls will swear like their brothers:
They're all nice girls.

Davaar
11th May 2013, 16:36
How about love abiding, security and as many children as can be afforded

I used to have an aunt who was challenged on "Love, Cherish, and Obey".

"Oh! Fiddle-faddle!", she said, "I can handle the "Obey" very well. What I want is the "Cherish".

Checkboard
11th May 2013, 16:54
Some men spend all of their lives wondering what women want - but it's obvious what women want.



They want the central heating turned up, don't they.






Courtesy of "The pub landlord" ;)

idol detent
11th May 2013, 18:36
http://0.tqn.com/d/drawsketch/1/0/u/N/bunnycrop.jpg

Davaar
11th May 2013, 18:48
In Canada, I find, the Fall of the Year is an extended Season, with colour and change occupying many weeks. Spring is something quite different, with a sudden move from the ice-box to the furnace. A week or two ago we were still snow-bound, and now we are in the upper twenties (Celsius).

As I dwindle away I puddle around the postage-stamp that surrounds the Davaar ménage.

We have a tree or two, nothing pretentious, but recognisable, big enough to provide room for "granny-suites" for a squirrel or two. One sees much activity. One squirrel is belting around the premises, ever watchful for the neighbour's cat, which it easily outruns, gathering a rag here from Frau Davaar's window-box-wooden-snowmen (this being Prussia, Snowman and Mrs S. should have been packed away by now, on a fixed schedule known only to Frau D., who is away for a few days), a rag here and a twig there.

These are for the new Squirrel Towers that are going up. I can hear Mrs Squirrel up there among the leaves tossing out the orders. The bloke collects and delivers. I just know that some of his loot is badly colour co-ordinated .... and rejected. "Oh! Why did I send YOU to fetch the stuff?"

We also have a range of small birds, several of them about the same task with the same results. A girl needs a nest, and last year's is SO 2012!

Frau Davaar is away, as I say, so for a few days we are at peace. Alles ruhig.

Next door, though, Mme is out there supervising two gigantic blokes with a truck-load of stone slabs, making a new path among the flower beds. She has adopted "the pose". You all know "the pose". She stands apart from the guys, one foot advanced. The guys say nothing. They know their place. Her head is slightly tilted. Her brow is furrowed. She is the epitome of concentration. The fellows lay a slab,......... but wrongly, of course!

ANYONE can see that; so it is raised and replaced differently. Not much differently, mind you, it is still the same slab in much the same place.

She readjusts the feet! One forearm now extends horizontally across her tum, the other elbow resting on the horizontal wrist, the upper hand supporting the chin. That helps in the thinking. Golly! This is not easy! We have to get this right, these stones!

There we have it. All is well with the squirrels, the birds, and the lady next door, same people each and all, and all on the same tasks.

It is still tranquil chez les Davaar, meanwhile, but the remaining Davaars are engaged in logistic planning for tomorrow's Trip to the Airport. Me? I plan to tidy up the kitchen. It will not be right.

P.S. The above is not to mock. Frau Davaar does have good colour coordination and it does make a difference. And I am sure that garden path next door will look pretty good. One entertaining element is that the girls do not give a tosser for the onlooker. Enjoy!

Ozzy
11th May 2013, 19:52
Women?

As Good as It Gets (3/8) Movie CLIP - How Do You Write Women So Well? (1997) HD - YouTube


Ozzy

Persia
11th May 2013, 20:51
How do you know when a man lies?

When his lips move.:E

Airborne Aircrew
11th May 2013, 20:59
How do you know a woman isn't faking?

When her lips move... :E

Persia
11th May 2013, 21:13
That's you wishful thinking again.

Ozzy
11th May 2013, 22:07
What women want?

Everything...

Ozzy

Fantome
11th May 2013, 22:11
Chocolate ? A pretty poor substitute, or none at all.

Triangular is the piece of pie, I eat to ease my sorrow.
Triangular the hatchet blade, I plan to hide tomorrow.

Completely round is the perfect pearl, the oyster manufactures.
Completely round is the steering wheel, that leads to compound fractures.

Yes, the circle shape is quite renowned, and sad to say it can be found
In the low down dirty run around, my true love gave to me . . . . . ah me.

(A madrigal moving to hear in the original.)

Mr D . .. . Wildlife in the suburbs, and so beautifully recounted . .. . worth a camel stamp, I wager.

I.R.PIRATE
13th May 2013, 06:14
http://i1089.photobucket.com/albums/i344/glf4drvr/b4f460f8-ae73-4d0a-a120-e6c13b98068a.jpg (http://s1089.photobucket.com/user/glf4drvr/media/b4f460f8-ae73-4d0a-a120-e6c13b98068a.jpg.html)

Capetonian
13th May 2013, 06:58
A brand new store has just opened that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions
at the entrance:
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.


The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.


The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.


The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.


She goes to the 4th floor and The sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the



5th floor and The sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.


She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Fliegenmong
13th May 2013, 09:56
CactusJack...

However, I love going home and getting roughed up by the bride! It gets me hard as steel. She can hit me, slap me and put on the high heels and stomp on me, yes please, I love it! If you boys haven't tried it then I recommend it, to allow her full power and let her physically control you is absolutely psychologically and physically the most arousing sensation! Go on, I dare you if you haven't, allow yourself to submit to her devious ways, go and get yourselves punished

I'm hearing ya! :E:ok: