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500N
8th May 2013, 20:19
The opposite. More :O

(Not sure why this post seems to appear out of sequence).

tony draper
8th May 2013, 20:37
One was sat the other night lost in reverie not thinking of anything in particular when a thought suddenly bubbled unbidden to the surface thus,
'I don't seem to fart as much these days as I did in times gone by'
Do other prooners have unbidden interesting thoughts they could share?
:uhoh:

Loose rivets
8th May 2013, 20:54
Such an eloquent opening sentence - the next line had me in fits.:}



And no, nowhere near as much.

tony draper
8th May 2013, 21:12
This is very strange,could it be that two prooners 12,000 miles apart started the same thread with the same title almost simultaneously.:uhoh:

SpringHeeledJack
8th May 2013, 21:18
One is currently suffering the after effects of adding some refried beans to a mixed up bolognaise sauce.....:hmm: But in general one is not producing as much as in days of yore. Maybe it's atmospheric ? :suspect:



SHJ

tony draper
8th May 2013, 21:29
In times past one was a noted grub gannet so perhaps one was above average then and am now just like the rest of humanity due to reduction of intake.
:uhoh:

dead_pan
8th May 2013, 22:05
This is very strange,could it be that two prooners 12,000 miles apart started the same thread with the same title almost simultaneously.

Even stranger that the question was answered before it was asked. Have we just witnessed time travel?

Oh, humanity is farting less - Gaia is attempting to counteract global warming.

500N
8th May 2013, 22:22
dead pan

You should know we are always ahead of everyone else in Australia :O

hellsbrink
9th May 2013, 02:06
One was sat the other night lost in reverie not thinking of anything in particular when a thought suddenly bubbled unbidden to the surface thus,
'I don't seem to fart as much these days as I did in times gone by'

Don't worry, Mr. D, I more than make up for your "lack of pressure". In fact, I've just had both cats look at me as if to say "What the **** was THAT" before they ran to the other side of the room.

Given the multitude of notes and tones which I am able to play on the Bottom Bugle, one is considering starting a band...........

Hobo
9th May 2013, 04:17
THE LONGEST FART IN THE WORLD - farted by Mr Methane! - YouTube

cattletruck
9th May 2013, 07:34
When I let one rip I always get an applause....

...the one hand clapping.............right under their noses.

....so I give them an encore :}

hellsbrink
9th May 2013, 07:52
The best ones are the ones that confuse others, the ones I call the "Search and Destroy", the ones that suddenly appear beside someone with no warning and blow their sinuses apart.

A perfect example.

A colleague at work is a bit of a tube, nobody really likes him because he whines about everything. Well, at my old "desk" there was one of the fan assisted storage heaters that heated up the whole room. A little "Silent But Violent" one escaped, just as the fan had gone off. It then rose up with the heat, rode the convection currents across the room at ceiling level, and came back down at "Whiner Corner" where it then smacked him across the face. He was not amused, and then started blaming the youngster next to him of emitting such a noxious gas. Shouting then started after youngster denied everything. Then accusations came at everyone before whiner actually walked around the room trying to sniff out the culprit. Of course, the air in the rest of the room was "fresh", nobody knew what he was going on about, except at his desk where the stench was still hanging when he got back. This got him to the point where he was almost jumping up and down with rage because it was like something had died at his desk and everyone else was starting to remind him that "Dogs smell their own **** first", "Who smelt it, dealt it", etc. This makes him worse, especially when someone else went over and had a sniff and could not smell anything, and as he got into a bigger state of apoplexy and started crawling around under his desk looking for something that would cause the, now non-existent, odour, like a dead rat, I had to nonchalantly walk out of the room and go for a cigarette before I bit through my lip............

AtomKraft
9th May 2013, 10:02
"Eeeh, another second and ahd 'ave shit mesel'.

Priceless! :ok:

crippen
9th May 2013, 14:45
I have been told that as one gets older you don't produce less gas. The amount is the same and it smells more. Due to loss of the sense of smell you just don't realise.

Lon More
9th May 2013, 17:42
going deaf may also have something to do with it.

rgbrock1
9th May 2013, 17:52
I haven't really given much thought to whether or not I'm producing more, or less, gas these days however, I DO know that I can still fart out The Battle Hymn of the Republic. :D:D

Does that count? :}:}

4mastacker
9th May 2013, 18:53
Daughter informed me the other day that new grandson takes after me - he does "silent but deadlys! Ahh, bless!

rgbrock1
9th May 2013, 18:56
Silent but deadlys are especially effective in crowded elevators/lifts as the doer of the deed can remain unidentified.