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haughtney1
4th May 2013, 13:56
Now I love my missus, I really do, she's a top lass...but for the love of god, loading the dishwasher is beyond her level of understanding!
I used to think it was a deliberate tactic, but it's not, she loads and wonders why the dishes come out with food still attached. It's as if the dishwasher has a forcefield of stupidity surrounding it...only affecting the female of the species.
Thoughts? as I'm sick of reloading the damn thing and explaining that bowls need to be face down to enable washing action to commence :ugh::hmm:

Capetonian
4th May 2013, 14:02
I hate dishwashers (other than the 2 legged variety) with a passion, and do the washing up by hand when the o/h is away. Nothing will persuade me to rinse the dishes, put them into the machine, leave them festering there, run it, listen to that gurgling and swishing, and then take the stuff out and find it's not clean. And yes, we have a new dishwasher, it's a Bosch or some other efficient Kraut make, and we have all the right fluids and powders for it.

It's Not Working
4th May 2013, 14:04
I am going to be gentle with you here Haughtney but there is no easy way of saying this, she's scamming you. As long as she thinks you think she doesn't know how to stack it it is one less chore for her to do. And how do I know this? The same technique is used in CasaINW only the sexes are reversed.

P6 Driver
4th May 2013, 14:09
We only have one because it was already fitted and working when we moved in, but in 7+ years, I've never used it. There's only two of us and a cat, so I regard it as no trouble to put some water in a bowl and do what generations before have done - the manual version.

Juud
4th May 2013, 14:20
Learning to correctly load a dishwasher is not difficult

Despite that fact, your explanations have no positive result.
There must be a reason for it.

INW has one suggestion, and he may well be correct.

Other possibilities are:
Your missus is a top lass and very stupid to boot. Some men love that in a woman. If so is the case, stop expecting something from her that she can´t provide you with.
Your missus is too lazy to do it properly, knowing you will re-load anyway.
She genuinely does not care if the stuff comes out a bit yucky
She cares, but again knows that you will load it properly anyway.


As she has so far resisted learning the simple process of how to load the damned machine, the chances are very slim that she will take on board any and all suggestions offered in the normal manner. Showing her youtube videos, videojug snippets or how-to tutorials on the subject will probably have no result whatsoever.

So either you accept the status quo, or take action of the unorthodox sort.

Dig into the machine´s innards when she is out and make it go U/S. Call the maintenance people, explain your problem and let the maintenance man come in and explain to your wife the "great importance of stacking correctly or it will break your machine". Pricey solution but very likely to succeed.
Every day, remove all the incorrectly placed items from the dishwasher and put them in the shower/on her nightstand/in the cat´s litter box or hide them in the garage. Without offering any comment or explanation. Ignore any and all irate protests and just keep doing it until she gives in.

sisemen
4th May 2013, 14:42
You missed one Juud.

Break one of her fingers each time until she "gets" it. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind :E

Slasher
4th May 2013, 14:54
I'm with INW - the missus tried the same trick on me for a while and
it worked (she is a lot smarter than me) until I pretended one night
when I was back home that I had to go upstairs to take a call from
work.

I heard her load the washer and I timed my ending of "the call" to
coincide with the last cycle - and after running downstairs found the
contents perfectly clean - before she could get off the couch to stop
(aka divert my attention to her boobs) me.

She admitted the whole thing and was suitably...."punished". :E

crippen
4th May 2013, 16:58
Can't beat 'em for cleaning car and motor cycle parts.

unstable load
4th May 2013, 17:02
Crippen,
Spot on!!:ok:

Blacksheep
4th May 2013, 17:38
Loading the dishwasher? Pah!

One is one of they new fangled "Metromen" (according to our daughters). Missus cooks the dinner, we eat it, then I do the washing up. Simples.

Juud
4th May 2013, 18:15
.


Blackie, fairly sure your daughters are calling you a metrosexual (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=metro%20sexual), rather than a metroman (http://www.metromen.net/). http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/flapsforty/smilies/ththsmiley_shy.gif (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/flapsforty/media/smilies/ththsmiley_shy.gif.html)

ricardian
4th May 2013, 18:16
We bought a small dish-washer a couple of years ago. Prior to that we always had at least one large Alsation dog who did an excellent "first pass" job on cleaning plates, pans etc. A quick dip of the plates, pans, etc in scalding hot water and then allow to dry naturally.

EDDNHopper
4th May 2013, 18:46
Buy a Miele.

It understands women. Dishes come out clean no matter which side up/down you put them in or whether you've rinsed them or not. The dishes, not the women.

Trust me.

ShyTorque
4th May 2013, 19:33
My wife is the same. She has no understanding of things mechanical or electrical.

The most annoying thing with the dishwasher is to put one last cup in the damn thing after I've loaded it and gone to bed (or more likely, I've re-arranged it to move stuff she's put in which will stop the spray arms rotating). She then leaves the door ajar so it doesn't go off (it's on a delay timer).

I then get the blame when nothing got washed. :ugh:

B Fraser
4th May 2013, 19:53
She has no understanding of things mechanical or electrical.

And no doubt she doesn't let that get in the way when dispensing advice.

SMT Member
4th May 2013, 20:15
Buy a Miele.

+1. And not just for dishwashers, they are also the dogs dangly bits when it comes to washers and driers. Costs a fair bit more, lasts a lot longer and does a better job all along.

1DC
4th May 2013, 20:30
After over 40 years of marriage Mrs 1DC still bollocks me two or three times a week cos i stack the dishwasher the wrong way. Amazing how i still get it wrong.

OFSO
4th May 2013, 21:21
Amazing how i still get it wrong.

That - as any married man will confirm - is a foregone conclusion considering your mention of the word "Mrs" in the previous sentence.

The only surprise is "two or three times a week". Not every day ? Are you sure you're married ?

G&T ice n slice
4th May 2013, 21:47
the dogs dangly bits when it comes to washers and driers

WOW! washing & drying the dog's dangly bits? how do you fit the dog in? are they expensive? where can I get one?

My dog is my only friend, but he is on occasion a trifle 'aromatic' and one of these could be really useful!

Dushan
5th May 2013, 00:20
The trick to good dish washing (by machine) is to not overload the machine and run it on the longest cycle available.

Two cups, four glasses, three plates, a salad bowl and a dozen utensils? No problem, fire away on pots and pans cycle. They come out really nice and clean.

Also, new dish washing soaps are not allowed to have phosphates in them so they don't clean as well, but make the greenies happy. Buy a package of TSP in your local hardware/paint store (it is used to prep painting surfaces) and put a spoonful of powder in every wash. Really nice and clean!

parabellum
5th May 2013, 00:44
Yes to the Meile, definitely, especially like the cutlery drawer at the top rather than a basket at the bottom.

You can cook a fish in a dishwasher. Wrap it in tin foil, place in upper tray and turn washer on to hottest cycle, (sans soap etc.!), possibly needs two cycles, depends on fish.

Wife does a better job of loading than me so I let her!;)

fernytickles
5th May 2013, 01:11
Well duh it's obvious innit? Run the thing with the door open. That way she'll be able to see how the spray works. Hey presto! Problem solved :)

sisemen
5th May 2013, 01:23
(sans soap etc.!)

Holy sheeeeet. That's what I've been doing wrong!

Rwy in Sight
5th May 2013, 06:54
sisemen,

My mother and I did just that for a year or so ( a long time ago) when we just used the shinning (sp)product rather than cleaning agent and the shinning product. One nice day we went the weekly shopping a very nice lady in the local store. pointed out that we need the cleaning stuff as well since the product we were buying was just to make the plates to look better so to speak.

For the record I loaded my mums dishwasher last night an easy and straight forward operation. With two advantages: one the plates are stored away for the night rapidly even if there pans in the sink (which would make normal cleaning difficult) and two sometime there is just not room for so many plates around the sink once they are cleaned.

I do love however to do the dishes.

Rwy in Sight

gunbus
5th May 2013, 07:58
Wives and dishwashers...

I remember the halcyon days before PC when they were one and the same. :E

I will show myself out

UniFoxOs
5th May 2013, 08:22
Boot on the other foot chez UFO. Mrs UFO thinks (she's wrong, BTW) that I don't know how to load it so she doesn't let me. Result!

Wouldn't be without either of them, though. It is a £150 cheapo (the dishwasher, that is) that I'll recycle when it packs up. This is much cheaper than the repair bills on the Miele that my (millionaire) mate is always moaning about.

Cheers
UFO

OFSO
5th May 2013, 08:27
http://i656.photobucket.com/albums/uu287/ROBIN_100/52_zps882fe8e11_zpsc270727a.jpg

Hydromet
5th May 2013, 08:45
OFSO, did you sneak that from Slasher's collection?

ExSp33db1rd
5th May 2013, 08:47
You guys have got it easy.

We have what I believe is a NZ invention, two dishwashers for the price of one ( is the advertising lie ) i.e. two drawer sized cabinets one on top of the other,each an independent dishwasher in its' own right, ocupying the space of a normal dishwasher - it comes as a complete unit to just push in and plumb up - Yeah! right ! ( The Fisher and Paykel Dishdrawer if you want to Giggle it )

Theoretically .... one only needs sufficient crockery, glasses, cutlery, etc to fill one of the drawers, so as the dishes are used out of the recently washed clean top drawer, they are put into the dirty bottom drawer, which when full is set in motion, and when the wash cycle is complete the utensils required are taken out of the bottom, used, and put in the top again to await a full load. This simple cycle is repeated ad infinitum. So the Manual said.

Viz. - removes the need to have a cockery cupboard, but only works for small households of course. Ideal for batchelors.

Except .... it doesn't work like that.

There has to be a system of remembering which is the 'dirty' drawer, and which is the 'clean' drawer. This is beyond the wit of the male of the species - my wife says, as she shrieks with horror at the sight of a butter and marmalade encrusted knife that she has just pulled out of what she thought ( and was right ) should have been the 'clean' drawer.

We have a series of 'fridge' magnets to balance - they don't adhere to stainless steel - on the handles, the little Harrods Teddy Bear magnet is the dirty drawer, and the Sears Roebuck magnetic cat is the clean drawer - got it?

I thought not, neither have I.

Ripline
5th May 2013, 08:49
I'm always faintly surprised when you open the door and a light doesn't come on.

I have no idea why.......

Ripline

Cacophonix
5th May 2013, 08:56
It appears that in my home I am the dish washing incompetent. If I manually wash up, as is my preference, she who must be obeyed proceeds to rate my effort generally as a fail and then proceeds to wash the dishes again. My efforts to stack the dishwasher are mocked and belittled, much to my irritation.

In chez Caco the dishwasher is a casus belli.

Caco

Cacophonix
5th May 2013, 08:58
I suppose things could be worse... technology uber alles...

Papy Geek!!MDR - YouTube

Caco

sitigeltfel
5th May 2013, 09:26
The tines on the forks of our everyday cutlery are the same pitch as the holes in the bottom of the cutlery basket, with the result that they often poke through and jam the bottom spray bar. No matter how many times I brief Mrs S on the wisdom of loading them with the tines pointing up the way, the warning beeper regularly goes off shortly after starting the wash cycle.

She also insists that the posh cutlery is hand washed as she thinks the machine will damage them. I have tried pointing out that having them all clashing together in a wash basin will cause more scratches than them being separated in the machine, but again that suggestion is met with incredulity.

radeng
5th May 2013, 09:34
Mrs radeng claims that I am incapable of loading the dishwasher in a manner that gets everything in.

So I just do the cooking and then get accused of using every saucepan, plate, knife etc that is possible...... One cannot win. I figured that out long ago, though - we've been married 30 years come September. She says that she would have got a shorter sentence for murder.....

OFSO
5th May 2013, 09:46
The Fisher and Paykel Dishdrawer

P & K also sell a lot of Kosher dishwashers to the Hebraic community in the USA. No wait, I got that wrong - it's Kosher fridges and freezers P & K sell in the USA.

Hydro, that's our cleaning lady. (On a hot summer's day).

david1300
5th May 2013, 09:46
I am surprised there are so many Luddites here who wash dishes by hand. Not only does that prematurely age ones delicate hands (yes, just look at your crusty, wrinkled digits) but its a waste of time that could be better utilized developing a meaningful hobby, like Slasher has.

sitigeltfel
5th May 2013, 09:52
It is a £150 cheapo (the dishwasher, that is) that I'll recycle when it packs up. This is much cheaper than the repair bills on the Miele that my (millionaire) mate is always moaning about.

I think these are the ones that sound like Niagara Falls is in the kitchen, and have the electricity meter spinning at a fearsome rate.

Buy cheap.........buy dear.


PS. I also get my dishwash tablets for free. I have a property I rent out to holidaymakers and they are responsible for their own consumables. I leave two or three tablets for them, and after a couple of days they have to buy their own. Inevitably they leave most of the box of tablets when they depart and I remove it, leaving two or three tablets for the next visitor. :E

Windy Militant
5th May 2013, 11:00
Well duh it's obvious innit? Run the thing with the door open. That way she'll be able to see how the spray works. Hey presto! Problem solved

Years ago when I was on mechanical shift cover I was called to the restaurant at work. They had a Hobart industrial washer, a horrible thing always breaking down. At one point the whole waste water system on it collapsed because the cheapskates had fitted cast iron fittings instead of stainless steel and the detergent rotted through them!
Anyway on this occasion the little baskets were not travelling through the thing for washing.
Usually what happened was an item of cutlery which had not been loaded properly fell through the basket and jambed the works.
So I have a quick shufty round and then open one of the inspection hatches. I suppose I should have isolated the machine because as I peered round the inside of the thing my coat caught on the interlock on the hatch and the bloody thing started. Owww was it hot :eek:, and boy did i Feel a right pilchard in front of the cute girlies who were on dish washing duty that day :O
I isolated the thing, found the only fork I was likely to get that day and staggered damply back to the workshop!

UniFoxOs
5th May 2013, 11:13
I think these are the ones that sound like Niagara Falls is in the kitchen, and have the electricity meter spinning at a fearsome rate.

It's not particularly noisy and it is AAA energy rated, but I do know the ones you mean, I've experienced them in other places.

About £200 retail when I got it for £150 in our local "shopsoiled cosmetic damage" electrical shop. MTBF about the same as my mate's £600 Miele,. then a £50 fix as against his £200.

Davaar
5th May 2013, 11:56
It appears that in my home I am the dish washing incompetent. If I manually wash up, as is my preference

You are not alone. Why have we become slaves to the labour-promoting labour-saving device?

All my life I have known how to wash and dry dishes. The task requires warm (hot is better) water; some form of soap; a sink or maybe two; a rag or brush; cold water, and what we used to know and love as a "dishtowel".

I have never boasted here about this, but we knew that as "work" and I have done it professionally in a hotel. The manager paid me money.

Now we have endless visits to quasi-car dealerships to select and buy machinery of steel that will "save us" this work. Dishes are rarely to be found in the cupboard any more. They are "in the washer". The prices for the washer run into many hundreds of dollars, perhaps thousands.

The best ones are of course German. They must be "colour-coordinated" with whatever else requires "colour-coordination". The announcement that one is unmoved by colour-coordination is self-condemnation as a aesthete-philistine. Actually, I do care; but not much.

A couple of years ago one fell on the front porch, broke an arm, woke in the ambulance summoned by a kindly and observant neighbour. Sure. It was all my fault. I should not have turned so suddenly. Quite right. I am a lot older than I was, and not so steady. That is my fault too.

The door to this Goddamn dishwasher is a perpetually-open trap, hinged at the bottom, opening to give a level board a few inches (and damn your centimetres, Mr Trudeau!) above the floor, calculated to trip sooner or later. To trip me. That will be my fault too.

That damned door is not really in the field of vision, not mine, the paradox of wearing glasses. That was not so in the past. Therefore I do not always see it. My fault, natuerlich. Sure, I'll break a leg some day, right or left. Another trip in the ambulance. My fault too.

Right now, though, one's dearest is away for a few days, and the dishwasher is neglected. It has not hummed in a week. Its door is closed. Reposing on the counter are one cup, one saucer, one each in a range of daily-use plates, one knife, one fork, and one teaspoon. Each of these utensils is clean and dry, ready for use.

Capetonian
5th May 2013, 12:05
Davaar : :D

one's dearest is away for a few days, and the dishwasher is neglected. It has not hummed in a week. Its door is closed. On the counter there repose one cup, one saucer, one each in a range of daily-use plates, one knife, one fork, and one teaspoon. Each of these utensils is clean and dry, ready for use.

Exactly the same here! Marvellous, isn't it. However, she returns tonight and no doubt I will be criticised for many things.

If the kitchen is clean and tidy, I'll be accused of either having been out enjoying myself all the time, or having some totty over to clean it up for me.

If the kitchen is untidy and dirty, I'll be accused of having been out all the time enjoying myself.

Can't win.

cattletruck
5th May 2013, 12:12
So far we've been doing fine without a dishwasher. The trick (or rather the habit) is to give the dishes a quick scrub and a rinse before leaving them in the sink, and not to let them accumulate by always washing up after meals, which doesn't take long at all.

No dish-pan hands here (yet).

1DC
5th May 2013, 12:42
I see that the adverts are now peddling dishwashers!
And another thing.... Herself has just swept the kitchen floor and it appears,that once again, I am responsible for all of the dust that wasn't there this morning...

Solid Rust Twotter
5th May 2013, 17:35
Bah! Been taking care of myself for nigh on 30 years. Do own laundry, cleaning, et al. Takes longer to load the dishwasher than it does to do the dishes. Ex GF squeaked in horror that one should lob crusty stuff in sink and have at it with soap and water. Those who design and build labour saving devices that don't are well overdue a final ciggy and a blindfold.

One is available to ensure their end is quick and painless...

ShyTorque
5th May 2013, 20:26
If the kitchen is clean and tidy, I'll be accused of either having been out enjoying myself all the time, or having some totty over to clean it up for me.

If the kitchen is untidy and dirty, I'll be accused of having been out all the time enjoying myself.

Can't win.

The remedy seems obvious to me.....! I'd go for the totty option. :E

Blacksheep
5th May 2013, 21:57
Er, re. Metro stuff - you might be right there Juud.

But you never know. They're a cheeky bunch with a twisted sense of humour.

parabellum
5th May 2013, 23:19
than the repair bills on the Miele that my (millionaire) mate is always moaning
about.

No need, buy the extended warranty, about $120 a year, covers parts and labour.

Meile are about the quietest of dish washers and, as above, AAA rated.

jamesdevice
6th May 2013, 18:01
Dishwasher????

What you need is a good scrubber

rgbrock1
6th May 2013, 18:06
Isn't it kind of obvious why dishwashers (the mechanical/electronic type) and wives are mutually-exclusive?

Dishwashers of the mechanical type require a small amount of logic when filling the same.

Logic. As in logical.

jamesdevice
6th May 2013, 18:14
dishwashers and women are much the same

Both are best inserted face down