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Nervous SLF
29th Apr 2013, 07:11
SWMBO has just gently bumped the front of our car when parking as "The beep thing never went off"
I explained that the front proximity alarm only beeps when you first start and if you stay below 7 Kmh
or after you have used reverse. I also told her that as far as I know all cars with the sensors do this but
she wants to know why when the speed drops down again to below 7 Kmh the alarm doesn't reset without
using reverse first. It appears my "thats how it works" is not a good enough explanation.:(

Msunduzi
29th Apr 2013, 07:19
Too much reliance on automation :)

Try driving the car, ie looking where you are going or going to hit.

Davaar
29th Apr 2013, 07:21
Nervous, how long have you been married?

It seems to me you are leading with the chin here.

The correct response was to blame the stupid machine as vocally as she; but, as the lawyers say, a fortiori or "more loudly".

As an addendum you might have added a post-script on the French; unless she is French, in which case that would be a mistake.

P.S. Pay no attention to that other chap, Msund. He is a bachelor. Must be.

Lord Spandex Masher
29th Apr 2013, 07:21
'cause it'd be beeping every few seconds in a traffic jam?

500N
29th Apr 2013, 07:23
As above.

If you have problems and are in a street with windows,
you can use them to see how close.

Or, if needed, a thin piece of wire sticking up from the front bumber
so they get used to where it actually is.

Or, get out and have a look :O

Nervous SLF
29th Apr 2013, 07:26
Thanks chaps I did kind of blame the car by saying it don't work unless you put it in reverse first - that didn't really
convince her though :) I also mentioned about the traffic jams and stop go traffic and that was totally ignored :ugh:
I was going to mention the bit about driving properly but chickened out. I don't like having broken arms :{

Davaar
29th Apr 2013, 07:27
If you have problems and are in a street with windows

Nervous, 500 is just the same. Believe me. Her answer to him is the dismissive: "Oh Don't be silly!"***

Quite right too.

***
and that was totally ignored

See! I told you so. You have a lot to learn.

McGoonagall
29th Apr 2013, 07:38
Long Haired Washing Machine is reversing car out of drive and collides with wheelie bin breaking off side rear lamp cluster.

'Why did you hit the bin?'
'It wasn't where I left it'
'What?'
'It wasn't where I put it, someone must have moved it'.
'The binmen perhaps after they emptied it?'
'Not my fault, wasn't where I left it'

Discretion was then the better part of valour.

:ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh:

Davaar
29th Apr 2013, 07:41
Try driving the car, ie looking where you are going or going to hit.

Nervous, the problem with Msund, apart from being a bachelor, is that he studies too many English judgments of the late 19th century; for example, Lord Justice Bowen:

If you cannot see where you are going, you must not go.

Well! Fat lot of good that does for a girl! That's what I say.

collides with wheelie bin breaking off side rear lamp cluster.


A gentleman -- No! Let's say a husband with any seniority in the trade -- does not even notice such a thing. His only concern, if the wretched aggression of the bin is ineluctably forced on his attention is; "Thanks be, Precious, you escaped unhurt".

green granite
29th Apr 2013, 07:49
'cause it'd be beeping every few seconds in a traffic jam?

That doesn't make sense. Why would you want to bump the car in front in a traffic jam any more than when your parking? :ugh::ugh::E:E

Capetonian
29th Apr 2013, 07:51
If it makes you feel any better, my SWMBO came home with a huge dent on the back of a three day old car equipped with a reversing sensor, which was working.

Apparently she thought that when the beeping got faster, the object was further away, a sort of reverse Doppler effect. Technology in the hands of those who can't handle it is more dangerous than no technology.

Davaar
29th Apr 2013, 07:55
who can't handle it is more dangerous than no technology.




That was recognised fifty years ago in the RN as the "radar-assisted collision".

Checkboard
29th Apr 2013, 08:00
The front beepers on my Mercedes don't need reverse to reset - and they do beep in traffic jams (if someone walks in front of the car).

Ancient Mariner
29th Apr 2013, 08:10
1996, brand new Rover 600Ti, been skiing in the mountains with no. 2 daughter and friends, me leading the way in nasty driving conditions in VW Caravelle, wifey in Rover. Suddenly gone from rearview mirror, thinks pit stop, we turn around after 5 mins, see BRG Rover 20 meters down a steep ravine, wifey and two kids on the road in upright position.
Me ask wifey: "How's the car", one knows immediately that it was the WRONG question. :\ One is reminded on a regular basis. One is celebrating 40 years of marriage come Sunday, one has learned to keep trap shut.
Per

PS She left the road doing around 80/90 km/h blaming not being familiar with the turbo's ketchup effect and going on the loud pedal to early leaving a bend. Incredibly the car had no damage whatsoever except all four doors which were dented when they panicked and banged them against the hard wet snow to open them. Me suggesting that they should have kept their calm and exited through the side windows didn't help matters much.:ouch:

Juud
29th Apr 2013, 08:10
Perhaps one she will reverse the car over you MacGoonagal.

Which would deprive us of the chap who refers to his wife as a Long Haired Washing Mchine.

What a loss that would be.

Nervous do as per Davaar's advice.

There is no point explaining to someone who has no interest in understanding in the first place.

Agree that the car is a useless piece of malfunctioning metal, and yes, blessedly she was unhurt in the terrible ordeal.

Erwin Schroedinger
29th Apr 2013, 08:17
Agree that the car is a useless piece of malfunctioning metal...

I'd rather she agree that women are a usele...



OK, maybe not. :\





Edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited, edited...I confess.

Lord Spandex Masher
29th Apr 2013, 08:17
Of course, that'll just make her feel better. Until, that is, the pesky car malfunctions again.

Perhaps if the long haired one knows how the "thingy" works properly then the "thingy" won't malfunction!

Or, shall I just treat my missus like a dummy who just won't understand?

Davaar
29th Apr 2013, 08:58
Gentlemen! Gentlemen!

Remember, "Vive la difference".

If God had felt a need for a proximity beeper He would have told Henry Ford long ago.

I do not have one, but as described it reminds me of that stupid centrally-hinged wiper on my 1988 or so Benz 300E. I could well imagine the young engineer, full of p. and v., who at last snagged the job with Benz.

"Wunderbar! NOW you guys will see how to engineer a car. Let me at it".

"Huh? You want me design a wiper with a central hinge? That's why you hired me? You're kidding, right? You're not? You're really not? But why?"

Well now, Chaps, think about that useless beeper thing for a moment and move on again to la d. Then remember Sir Walter Scott:

Oh Woman! In our hours of ease,
Uncertain, coy and hard to please.
When pain and anguish rack the brow,
A ministering angel, Thou!



Is that not true? Kinda, anyway? At least a bit, maybe? Huh? Just around the point where interest in the internal combustion cycle and the old o.h.c versus o.h.v with pushrods debate loses its first passion?

Lord Spandex Masher
29th Apr 2013, 09:05
Davaar, my missus knows how to change a wheel (properly), check tyre pressures and oil levels AND top them up. In return she taught me how to cook the prefect egg, turn on the washing machine and iron a shirt.

The difference is...she's got a bodacious set of knockers:ok:

Plus she gets to mow the lawn 'cause gardening is for girls.

Lon More
29th Apr 2013, 09:13
The front beepers on my Mercedes don't need reverse to reset - and they do beep in traffic jams (if someone walks in front of the car).
as do mine and the nice people at Skoda fitted an on/off switch in case it annoys you.

onetrack
29th Apr 2013, 09:24
Good God! Proximity alarms?? What next? Power-assisted steering and power brakes too, I suppose?? :rolleyes:
Whatever happened to parking by sound? - "CRUNCH!!!" ........ "That's far enough, dear!!" :{

Davaar
29th Apr 2013, 09:53
my missus knows how to change a wheel (properly), check tyre pressures and oil levels AND top them up. In return she taught me how to cook the prefect egg, turn on the washing machine and iron a shirt.


And you a Lord too! Is there no end to one man's fortune? Can this really be?

cattletruck
29th Apr 2013, 10:02
If you have problems and are in a street with windows
Of course if she sees her own reflection in the window then day may eventually turn into night.

'cause it'd be beeping every few seconds in a traffic jam?
I always suspected that was also the case with the rear bumpers of cheapo editions, therefore my attempts at annoying those that have them things fitted is not in vain after all.

when the beeping got faster, the object was further away
Most don't even know why it beeps. Scare away the dogs perhaps.

However, there is no technology past, present or future, that even the best minds of mankind could invent to protect your car from bumps, scratches or dings, whenever the following four letter word is uttered which blinds all rational thought:
SALE!

Lord Spandex Masher
29th Apr 2013, 10:06
And you a Lord too! Is there no end to one man's fortune? Can this really be?

You should see how good the maids are.

OFSO
29th Apr 2013, 12:12
My Mondeo is like that of the first poster here - turns on in reverse, stays on forward and reverse (and side sensors) until 10 kph, does not reset. A knopf on the dashboard to turn it on.....hence....Very pleasant sitting parked in snowfall listening to the individual flakes going past the sensors. Like being inside some mad 'ping' game machine.

Don't tell wife anything, Check out early James Bond film (was it "Goldfinger") where JB claims to bimbo he's picked up that "it's a whining magneto" in his Aston Martin

Ancient Mariner
29th Apr 2013, 12:30
Don't know about your cars, but in my Skoda Superb I can adjust the volume and tone frequency front and rear. It is down there in the sub, sub, sub-menus. I'd rather look at the graphic display than listen to noise.
Per

Lonewolf_50
29th Apr 2013, 14:00
When we moved into our house about 12 years ago, there was a tree next to the front corner of the house.
_ = face of structure
Tree = Tree
* = grass
dw = driveway
GD = garage door

________________________________|
Tree*****************************_____|
******dwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdGD
******dwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdGD
******dwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdGD
******dwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdGD

We'd been in the house seven years, when my dearly beloved backed out of the garage with the minivan, as she'd done many times before, and went far enough back to hit the tree with the rear windshield. Caved it in, glass all over creation and inside the car. Seems that the way the tree trunk was slightly bent (tree was a crepe myrtle) it had a small knob leaning toward the driveway, but was still well over the grass

Her explanation: "I didn't see the tree."

I cut the tree down two weeks later.

Window glass on a car is expensive. :mad:

KAG
29th Apr 2013, 15:25
I have a proximity alarm AND a camera to see behind.

My wife recently broke the neighbour bumper when parking rearward.
She told me our car was not clean, the camera had some mud so the screen display was not clear...

I told her I would clean the car and the camera... Problem solved, and no argue :ok:


____________________________________________________________ __
When I recieved my 50,000 posts, it felt like the first time I received my 4 bars to fly left seat :O:O:O

OFSO
29th Apr 2013, 15:25
And I would guess that in Texas, so is

a small knob leaning toward the driveway

Mrs O, having druv the same car for nine years through our gates at least twice a week with no trouble, manage to drive it INTO the gatepost last year. See, life is waiting out there to catch you when you least expect it. Live your life as though inanimate objects were waiting their chance 24/7 to come alive and destroy you and you won't go wrong.

cockney steve
29th Apr 2013, 16:02
I live in a corner house. Directly opposite the junction, a brand-new just-introduced 4-door car. Parked round the corner, the Ex's car.
She walks out of the front door, round the corner jumps in her car and backs ACROSS the main road, straight into the new car.

As I was on a Motor-Trader's policy at the time, it was not cost-effective to claim.
cost me the job and a loan-car for a couple of days.
Another occasion, she stopped and watched as an Artic started to back round a very tight corner, then thought it would be a good idea to attempt to nip through the rapidly-narrowing gap.

Door,drop-glass and roof done in, the car was a scrapper when she'd done with it. (and a badly shook-up HGV driver) never had the heart to try claiming that one.
Still, at least I don't have to worry about HER anymore.

Maxbert
29th Apr 2013, 19:20
Gents... Us blokes can easily get it wrong too :\

I have been driving cars with collision bleeps for nearly ten years- my latest is a VW Multivan / T5 which I still managed to reverse into my neighbour's daughter's boyfriend's car :(

The bleepers did their thing, but my driveway is narrow enough to set them off, the music was loud, the car was small, Maxbert was distracted...:ugh:

The flyboys say "Aviate, Navigate, Communicate"... Sometimes us Driveboys could benefit from that wisdom. Bleepers may help in some circumstances, but awareness of one's surroundings still takes precedence.

Maxbert