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Wholigan
21st Apr 2013, 13:40
Not heard of "Fcuk a stoat" before, but there was a series of similar "back in the day" ...............

Stuff a stoat.

Ream a rhino.

Wnak a widgeon.

Fcuk a ferret.

Plus a few more that have slipped from the memory bank.

Edited to say "how the hell did this reply become the first post"???????? Bleedin' wiggly-amps have gone mad again. I replied at about 2320 and the time stamp is stupidly out.

Tubbs
21st Apr 2013, 14:05
I picked up FMD from an Aussie bloke who shared a flat with a lassie I was winching. Sounds much better with the oz accent

vulcanised
21st Apr 2013, 20:40
Do you have an expletive that you commonly use but is rather unusual?

Mine is Shit and corruption but I have no idea where I got it from all those years ago.

Mind you, it's not as odd as Fcuk a stoat frequently used by a friend many years ago.

gingernut
21st Apr 2013, 21:14
shyte hawks

"bollocks" expressed whilst burping

"good arse" whilst passing flatus

"******* good arse" whilst said flatus is pungent

"tawathooks" said often when hitting ones thumb with a fbh....





oh I'm going to love this thread.....but must go, am going to "slip her the ferret.."

ex_matelot
21st Apr 2013, 21:15
twatjangle.


Posted from Pprune.org App for Android

ex_matelot
21st Apr 2013, 21:16
nearly forgot...glistening thundercnut.


Posted from Pprune.org App for Android

1DC
21st Apr 2013, 21:47
Sailed with a bloke who would say,"Suck my Stump" if things weren't going very well, and if things were going really badly it would become suck my effing stump.Always said slowly and with great emphasis...

Slasher
21st Apr 2013, 21:54
Fcuk my brown dog.

I.R.PIRATE
21st Apr 2013, 22:09
'cnut muscle'


> as in, " wow that guy is such a ..."

*credit Ari Gold

gingernut
21st Apr 2013, 22:24
"well **** me and make the baby cry" (an expression of surprise)

"there are more ways of killing a cat than ******* it to death.." (shall we try an alternative way)

pigboat
21st Apr 2013, 22:30
Another expression of surprise..
Well bugger me with a frozen porcupine!!

500N
21st Apr 2013, 22:38
FMD (F me dead) is one I use and not sure where it comes from.

gingernut
21st Apr 2013, 22:47
"I'd use her shit as toothpaste" (I quite fancy that girl.)

TOWTEAMBASE
22nd Apr 2013, 00:26
Fcuk my ol boots ( not sure why)

Loose rivets
22nd Apr 2013, 00:42
Bloody Nora.

I have no idea what poor old Nora had done wrong.


A boss in Colchester in 1958: Fcukaduck.

Rolls off the tongue nicely does that.


Then there was the chief training captain of a well known Luton airline. Fcuking aaaaaaaarsoles, he used to say. He would never expand on why he'd said it, but in the middle of an instrument-rating renewal, it didn't bode well.

Ozzy
22nd Apr 2013, 00:48
va te faire foutre dans un coin salaud

that will do it...

Ozzy

grumbles69
22nd Apr 2013, 01:00
Oh Bollocks!

Well, Fcuk me backwards!

TunaBum
22nd Apr 2013, 01:27
"Go forth and multiply..." (ie: go and get f...ked) :}

Pinky the pilot
22nd Apr 2013, 02:48
''F**k me dead said foreskin Ned, the bastard from Bullamakanka''

No idea where I picked that one up from but use it occasionally. Never in mixed company though.:=

I also have a phrase in Cantonese, taught to me by a Chinese mate but never use it. Around Cantonese speakers anyway. It's simply too obscene!!:eek::ooh:

Hydromet
22nd Apr 2013, 03:27
"Well fcuk Ireland red" used by an old colleague as an expression of surprise or frustration. No idea of the origin.

Loose rivets
22nd Apr 2013, 03:46
When a certain PpruNer discovered who I was, he said, Buggah me sideways!

I declined the offer.:p

reynoldsno1
22nd Apr 2013, 04:11
In the very early 60's I used to like watching me Mum cook - and I learnt a lot from that. She was a wee bit reckless when working the hob, and frequently burnt herself. this was always acconpnaied by an exclamation of "Oh, balls". One spring day in about 1962, she followed the normal routine and burnt herself, but this time she hesitated, and then announced "I've learnt a much better word - from now on it's Oh, bollocks". And it was ...

I miss my Mum ....:sad:

Richo77
22nd Apr 2013, 04:56
fcukdoodles.. dont know where i inherited it from but the missus has picked it up too.

fcuk-handles - pigtails on an attractive woman

fcuk me gently with a chainsaw.. again origin unknown.

Worrals in the wilds
22nd Apr 2013, 06:50
'F:mad: a duck and run a mile!'
I picked it up from an older colleague. No idea where he got it from and I've never heard anyone else use it (unless they also know Gary).

Capetonian
22nd Apr 2013, 07:10
Someone I worked with long ago, who was very 'public school' and well spoken, used to come out with 'Oh Hucking Fell' in his British upper class accent whenever something went wrong.

All was fine until we had a client called ........ Mr. Hucking. Nobody could keep a straight face.

In the same office, we had a 'typist' (remember them!) a lovely but rather prim middle aged lady called Iris. She was the only female and found the language a bit much sometimes, so she labelled up a coffee tin as the 'swear box', and there was a scale of charges neatly sellotaped to the side.


Damn : 5p
Bloody : 10p
Blimey : 10p

etc.

It stopped at 'shit' which was 50p.

One morning she came in and someone had written : "Iris how much is a f***?"

G&T ice n slice
22nd Apr 2013, 07:20
One of our warehousemen was (I think) a methodist.

Somehow the phrases "Oh dear!" and (in case a a real codsup) "Ooohh BOTHER IT !!" seemed to turn the air bluer than anyone else's "%*£$&^*& "

green granite
22nd Apr 2013, 07:24
One used where I worked when things went wrong was "A fcuk up in a tin dish"

Fliegenmong
22nd Apr 2013, 07:57
As Slasher mentioned earlier 'Fcuk my Black / brown dog'

Also, if windy enough, 'Blow a black / brown dog off a chain'

Must say that 'Cover me in Honey and throw me to the Lesbians' has always given a giggle...

Lon More
22nd Apr 2013, 08:09
Had to Google Balloon Knot an Clown's Pocket. The first has it's own page on the Book of Face ad the second is a comedy club in Seattle.

"Shit, bum, toley fart" remembered from when I was a kid.

"Dip me in chocolate and feed me to the lesbians" as an expression of surprise.

"Up Jack's arse and round the foremast"

Worrals in the wilds
22nd Apr 2013, 09:31
In the same office, we had a 'typist' (remember them!) a lovely but rather prim middle aged lady called Iris. She was the only female and found the language a bit much sometimes, so she labelled up a coffee tin as the 'swear box', and there was a scale of charges neatly sellotaped to the side.
My workplace could collectively buy a private island by lunchtime. :ouch:

pgarner528
22nd Apr 2013, 09:55
"P1ss on a brick" or "Christ on a bike"

No idea where they come from, but I use them a lot.

OFSO
22nd Apr 2013, 10:05
Catalan is an extremely mucky language when it comes to swearing and the curses frequently involve excrement combined with personages of a female dispostion sacred to the Catholic Church and parts thereof, hence I can't possibly recite them here.

Just a hint may be given by the fact that the two rivers at each side of Barcelona were known in former times as Shit River and Turd Stream.

james ozzie
22nd Apr 2013, 10:07
Bless my Soul

and, more recently:

My giddy aunt

Cacophonix
22nd Apr 2013, 10:16
Cussing is not what it used to be!

Ask Samuel Clemens...

"A recent biographer mourned the fact that he had never heard Jenny Lind sing or Mark Twain swear. The juxtaposition seems appropriate, for those who did hear Mark Twain swear have testified that it was the performance of a master and not at all vulgar or offensive. A woman named Elizabeth Wallace occasionally heard Clemens in his billiard room: "Gently, slowly, with no profane inflexions of voice, but irresistibly as though they had the headwaters of the Mississippi for their source, came this stream of unholy adjectives and choice expletives." She was not all shocked but rather impressed."

Mark Twain and the Art of Swearing (http://homepage.smc.edu/larsen_lyle/mark_twain_and_the_art_of_sweari.htm)



Caco

Cacophonix
22nd Apr 2013, 10:30
Afrikaans as she is spoken by the coloured community in Cape Town is to my mind the most descriptive and obscene language and rises above mere expletives to the imaginative levels of pure obscene poetry...

Caco

TOWTEAMBASE
22nd Apr 2013, 10:40
You only have to watch a certain programme on ITV2 hosted by a certain person named after a citrus fruit to find a while host of them. Bash her back doors In,clean the windows and feed the pony, to name a couple :-b

txdmy1
22nd Apr 2013, 10:51
well ... pull my pork ;)

TOWTEAMBASE
22nd Apr 2013, 10:52
She can suck a golf ball through a hose pipe

lomapaseo
22nd Apr 2013, 10:58
she can suck start a Harley

oops wrong thread, thats a remberance

Davaar
22nd Apr 2013, 11:16
we had a 'typist' (remember them!)

Yes, I do.

My cherished treasure left for California, so personnel were sending candidates along for inspection. Of one, the H.R. chap, normally a reticent and conservative fellow, volunteered, out of character for him: "She's got the biggest stack in the company, can type and take dictation".

Dialogue ensued, viz.:

Young Davaar, by telephone, to H.R. chap: Just how much is she stacked?
H.R. chap, by telephone, to Y.D.: The stack has never been measured, but we offer this caution: Do not ever stand behind her and say "BOO!!!!!"

TSR2
22nd Apr 2013, 11:29
Well thats Pi$$ed on the Chips.

Devon Flyer
22nd Apr 2013, 11:29
I heard recently " well i'll be a monkeys fluffer" that tickled me somewhat.

I have started to use fcukwit, seems to some up quite a few people around me at the moment.

david1300
22nd Apr 2013, 11:48
@Caco. You'll appreciate these gems from the Cape community - both from the same conversation about 35 years ago:
You talk so high I can't come by (which we took to be a literal translation of an original Afrikaans saying), and
That's like ducks water off my back (a mangling of 'like water off a ducks back')

ShyTorque
22nd Apr 2013, 14:15
I think someone's been moderating here....

Last night I posted "Bother!" Now it's gone, along with a lot of other posts.Obviously not rude enough for the thread.

Well f*** me backwards with the wrong end of a ragman's trumpet.

And what's all this:

shyte hawks.......

Eh? From now on I'm going to use the expletive "Gingernuts!" ;)

rgbrock1
22nd Apr 2013, 14:20
F**k me to tears. Old military expression but effective nonetheless.

UniFoxOs
22nd Apr 2013, 14:47
"F**k me twice nightly with a bargepole."

No idea where it came from.

"Intercourse my ancient footwear."

Slightly cleaner version of the afore-mentioned "F**k my old boot"

UFO
Posted from a tired old PC by a tired old geezer

Wyler
22nd Apr 2013, 15:01
Arsewipe (put down)

Knob Jockey (self explanatory....)

Carpet Muncher (Lesbian)

Worth a squirt (I fancy her)

Charlie-Sierra-Lima (C*ck Sucking Lips)

People Juice (Sperm)

Like sucking Sh*t through a two week old sock (I really don't like this food)

Beef Curtains (female 'parts')

I have travelled, I have learnt....

Lon More
22nd Apr 2013, 15:53
CactusJack, thanks; I'd already found it.

Legs that could kickstart a 747 or lips that could airstart a DC8 to put a bit of aviation in it

fitliker
22nd Apr 2013, 17:07
Fookdat.
Used by a scouse i used to work with as a verb,adjective,and noun.
When he asked me to tighten a nut on a leaking test pipe while it was under pressure 10,000 psi i told him "FOOK DAT i won't touch a swagelock under test pressure"
He attempted to tighten the leak under pressure and the fitting broke and after the big bang he whimpered "fook dat"the plug missed his head by millimeters and left a big dent in the bulkhead above his head.
He went to change his wet clothes after that experience.
FOOKDAT

Mallan
22nd Apr 2013, 17:48
Much used by my work colleagues "T*T WA***k.

Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs! said in surprise.

Windy Militant
22nd Apr 2013, 17:51
From an old boy I was with as an apprentice

"Bugger me backwards with the blunt end of a black mans Bugle!"
or
"Bugger a newt."

Another old boy used to use
"Cnuthooks"
on a regular basis either as a salutation
"Oi Cnuthooks"
or when referring to himself
"who's going to clear that lot up, Cnuthooks here I suppose"

A mate of mine used to exclaim
"Lawks to lordy my bums on fire"
usually when he missed a sitting pot on the pool table.

We had an aussie on exchange a few years back who used to say
"Hurts like buggery, na mate nothing hurts like buggery!"
when ever he hit his fingers with a hammer or other implement, which was quite often.
The Above post reminded me of a bunch of appos I had who regularly used Cat [email protected], soapy [email protected] and bearded clams around the workshop.

Davaar
22nd Apr 2013, 19:07
My favourite put-down was delivered from the Sid-effrican lady who used to live next-door: "A Strandloper!". Says it all.

It amazes me that the Boers could work out such an expressive language all on their own in the Transvaal.

fitliker
22nd Apr 2013, 19:34
When in polite company some new words for you:

Beige :totally fooking boring

Stepdad: worse than a mofo as he will kick your ass and the fo your mo.

Have a nice day : term used by engineers at McDonnel Douglas until management found out what was meant by it :}

Milo Minderbinder
22nd Apr 2013, 19:59
I once had my (mainly) Pakistani staff in hysterics when in a moment of tension I came out with:

"F*ck! F*cking f*ckers f*cking f*cked".
Can't remember the cause, but it would have been a major failure.

I don't think they realised a word could be so expressive

Maxbert
22nd Apr 2013, 20:20
Daddybert: "PissSh!tFcukBuggerySodCnutWILBERFORCE!" (In one breath- For anything from bashing his thumb with a hammer to simply mislaying his carkeys- Shortened version for non-imminent apocayptic crises was simply Sh!tBuggerySod, ie dropping carkeys on the floor) :)
Long-suffering Mammabert: "Don't say WILBERFORCE!"

R.I.P Daddybert, and give 'em Hell :ok:


Ozmate: "Well fcuk me with a rubber hose!" (IT wallah... :rolleyes: )

Maxbert

Capetonian
22nd Apr 2013, 20:24
Afrikaans as she is spoken by the coloured community in Cape Town is to my mind the most descriptive and obscene language and rises above mere expletives to the imaginative levels of pure obscene poetry...

It invariably involves references to one's mother and a certain part of her body. I once, after enduring an amusing 10 minutes or so of this cabaret outside my front door in Tamboerskloof (Bergieland!) went out and told the two 'ladies' to go somewhere else. When I went out a few minutes later and told them to eff off, I was told in no uncertain terms : "Don't you flook (swear) at us .... ons is LADIES ............", this from two bergies (meths drinkers) squatting in the gutter to relieve themselves.

ExSp33db1rd
22nd Apr 2013, 20:27
Once told of an Air Force Sergeant radio technician who asked a WAAF ( female Air Force person ) what was wrong with the aircraft radio that she had just brought into the workshop ?

it's f***ed, she said, well put the little bugger over there then, he replied.

She .... reported him for using foul language in front of a female and he was put on a charge.

World's Gone Mad.

unclenelli
22nd Apr 2013, 20:27
Whilst working with Yanks in Iraq, we were happy to teach them proper swearing. Their Lt came up to me later to enquire about our teachings.

"Hey, I've been talking with the guys and taking notes! So let me get this right - Ball-Ox is bad, but Dog's Ball-Ox is good! Huh?"

Maxbert
22nd Apr 2013, 20:32
The dog's bollocks :-

Expression used by typesetters when setting a colon-hyphen (when we still had typesetters... :( ) It's true, look it up!

Maxbert

Blues&twos
22nd Apr 2013, 21:03
Quite a common one in the engineering world, but I like it for its simplicity and ability to convey the smallest possible adjustment "tweak it back a gnat's cock, mate".

Blues&twos
22nd Apr 2013, 21:13
You get a choice?

Slasher
22nd Apr 2013, 21:14
"I was fcuked up the arse like a poofter chook."

- I was wronged by someone.

I.R.PIRATE
22nd Apr 2013, 22:46
Flew with a Serb of some verbal fortitude, whose favourite, and only English expletive, used in any and all cases was : bludfukshit.

I could never get good old count Dracula out of my head thanks to his most pure pronunciation of the above.

(buh-luut-fowk-shee-it)

Hydromet
22nd Apr 2013, 23:54
A common surveyors term when setting out: "Just a mickey hair to the right."

Richo77
23rd Apr 2013, 01:20
Similarly "missed it by a red cnut hair" the red ones are apparently thinner...

lomapaseo
23rd Apr 2013, 02:33
the red ones are apparently thinner...

they don't stick in your teeth

Capetonian
23rd Apr 2013, 05:01
Caco
Somewhere to go next time you're in CPT on a Thursday evening :
Jou Ma Se Comedy Club (http://kurt.co.za/jmscc/)
Jou Ma Se Comedy Club, Albert Hall, 208 Albert Road, Cape Town. Comedy - Time Out Cape Town (http://www.timeout.com/cape-town/comedy/venue/1%3A23799/jou-ma-se-comedy-club)

I didn't know about it, just heard it mentioned on Good Hope FM. It's at River Club in Obs, which is very nice, I have lunch there sometimes.

Lightning Mate
23rd Apr 2013, 10:43
Used when really annoyed:

"makes my piss fizz".

Lightning Mate
23rd Apr 2013, 10:46
Or with reference to a good shag:

"she goes like a belt-fed mortar".

Capetonian
23rd Apr 2013, 10:51
We used to have a car hire rep who we refered to as a 'spanner', because she tightened your nuts.

Lon More
23rd Apr 2013, 10:59
A S. American acquaintance, couldn't think of the word, "Blind" shouting, "Stevie Wonder Bastard" at a cyclist who nearly knocked him over

pigboat
23rd Apr 2013, 12:15
Paris may be a Hilton but she [email protected]#$% like a Motel 6.

cockney steve
23rd Apr 2013, 17:10
contempt:- knobcheese , was shot on a wall and hatched-out by the sun
they threw the wrong half away.
sarcasm:- Well, fcuk me with a fountain pen
Of a puportedly frigid woman...Cnut as dry as a witche's t*t
Of a female of loose morals A cnut like a horse-collar, Flora (spreads easily)
thick as pigshit / two short planks
something worn beyond serviceable;- It's pregnant (was fcuked months ago)
shit and derision!

B Fraser
23rd Apr 2013, 18:52
Of a female in an advanced state of pre-coital anticipation

"the hangar doors are open"

"like a Vulcan over Stanley"

"like a VC-10 on short finals"

For the crossword addicts amongst us....."A pre-landing check (5,5), see above"

"dripping like a broken fridge"

:E

Rossian
23rd Apr 2013, 19:05
....I think the phrase is "bangs like a belt fed motor". Think agricultural machinery before combines - long twisted belt with metal joining plant. Very monotonous and regular. Cotton mills in the days of steam power.....

The Ancient Mariner

Molemot
23rd Apr 2013, 19:17
"Fornicating fundamental orifices!!"

"Oh, PHOSPHATES!!!"

"Snot gobbling son of an Arabic whore!!!!"

"Well, I'll be dipped in dogshit!!!!!"

"Go and stick your nose up a dead bear's bum...."

(It's the gentle art of being rude without using the usual vocabulary.)

vulcanised
23rd Apr 2013, 21:42
Most frequently used for my fat chavvy 'neighbour'.

"Looks like a bag of shit tied up in the middle"

visibility3miles
23rd Apr 2013, 23:09
#@$%*! called "grawlix" in comic strips.

Old Photo.Fanatic
23rd Apr 2013, 23:50
Go take a flying f**k at a rolling doughnut. (says it all really!!!!)

Or
When riding the camp "Bike", its like waving a pencil in the Albert Hall.

halas
24th Apr 2013, 08:29
Shitting bricks - worried
Numb-nuts - thick skinned person
F*cked up the 4rse with the wrong end of a pineapple - wronged (is there a right end?)
Well Bugger me drunk/stupid/senseless/straight.... - surprised

halas

Vercingetorix
24th Apr 2013, 09:55
As was said one night to me in the Midland Aero Club while I was admiring a beautiful lady: "She's had enough dick to make a handrail up the M1".

Capetonian
24th Apr 2013, 09:57
More pricks than a second hand dartboard.

SOPS
24th Apr 2013, 14:01
Rolls her own tampons and kick starts her own vibrator.......(she is a bit rough)

Limeygal
24th Apr 2013, 17:58
Shitting bricks - worried

Sh1tting iron girders-VERY worried :eek:

Ogre
25th Apr 2013, 01:50
A former colleague with a wonderful lilting accent (Welsh, see!) asked a question of another colleague. The third colleague obviously did not know the answer and indicated such with the reply "f&ck knows". Welsh colleague then responded 'Don't call me a f&cknose, c^ntylugs".

probes
9th Mar 2015, 08:58
Devil! Cancer-sufferer! Chalice of tabernacle!

The reason I can say this is because I am writing in English, not Finnish, Dutch, or Québécois French.

You might think that the definition of ‘bad’ words would be similar around the world. You wouldn’t be entirely right. Strong language – swearing, profanity, whatever you want to call it – is special.

If everyday language is like the earth’s crust and the soil we garden our lives in, strong language is like volcanoes and geysers erupting through it from the mantle below. Our social traditions determine which parts of the crust are the thin points. It’s not enough to feel strongly about something; it has to have a dominating societal power and control structure attached to it. Strong language often involves naming things you desire but aren’t supposed to desire; at the very least, it aims to upset power structures that may seem a bit too arbitrary.

We tend to think of swear words as one entity, but they actually serve several distinct functions. Steven Pinker, in The Stuff of Thought, lists five different ways we can swear: “descriptively (Let’s ****), idiomatically (It’s ****** up), abusively (**** you…!), emphatically (This is ******* amazing), and cathartically (****!!!).” None of these functions require swearwords. In Bikol (a language of the Philippines), there’s a special anger vocabulary – many words have alternative words that refer to just the same thing but also mean you’re angry. In Luganda (an African language), you can make a word insulting just by changing its noun class prefix – from a class for persons to a class for certain kinds of objects, for instance. In Japanese, you can insult someone badly just by using an inappropriate form of ‘you’.

BBC - Culture - Mind your language! Swearing around the world (http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20150306-how-to-swear-around-the-world)

P.S BBC didn't star the words :ouch:

joy ride
9th Mar 2015, 09:20
My regular is "rollocking bollocking bumlumps", for when surprised, thwarted or irritated, sometimes with "and b*ggering biscuit barrels" added at the end.

While playing Mario Karts with family one of the lumps of rock with a face squashed my player and I shouted out "You brick-faced block-headed b*llock breath bogey bum bastard bandit". No idea where it came from but it caused much hilarity.

G-CPTN
9th Mar 2015, 09:32
BBC Culture:-We're sorry but this site is not accessible from the UK as it is part of our international service and is not funded by the licence fee. It is run commercially by BBC Worldwide, a wholly-owned subsidiary of the BBC, the profits made from it go back to BBC programme-makers to help fund great new BBC programmes. You can find out more about BBC Worldwide and its digital activities at BBC Worldwide (http://www.bbcworldwide.com).

james ozzie
9th Mar 2015, 09:44
Bless my soul & my giddy aunt...

probes
9th Mar 2015, 09:46
yeah, sorry, the cultural issues:

Mind your language! Swearing around the world

http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/wwfeatures/624_351/images/live/p0/2l/dd/p02lddc9.jpg

Strong language is common to most cultures, but what makes a word profane, and how does cursing vary from place to place? James Harbeck explains.

Warning: This article contains very strong language that may offend some readers.

Devil! Cancer-sufferer! Chalice of tabernacle!

The reason I can say this is because I am writing in English, not Finnish, Dutch, or Québécois French.

You might think that the definition of ‘bad’ words would be similar around the world. You wouldn’t be entirely right. Strong language – swearing, profanity, whatever you want to call it – is special.

If everyday language is like the earth’s crust and the soil we garden our lives in, strong language is like volcanoes and geysers erupting through it from the mantle below. Our social traditions determine which parts of the crust are the thin points. It’s not enough to feel strongly about something; it has to have a dominating societal power and control structure attached to it. Strong language often involves naming things you desire but aren’t supposed to desire; at the very least, it aims to upset power structures that may seem a bit too arbitrary.

We tend to think of swear words as one entity, but they actually serve several distinct functions. Steven Pinker, in The Stuff of Thought, lists five different ways we can swear: “descriptively (Let’s ****), idiomatically (It’s ****** up), abusively (**** you…!), emphatically (This is ******* amazing), and cathartically (****!!!).” None of these functions require swearwords. In Bikol (a language of the Philippines), there’s a special anger vocabulary – many words have alternative words that refer to just the same thing but also mean you’re angry. In Luganda (an African language), you can make a word insulting just by changing its noun class prefix – from a class for persons to a class for certain kinds of objects, for instance. In Japanese, you can insult someone badly just by using an inappropriate form of ‘you’.

Not all taboo language counts as swear words. Some taboo language is still strong language, even if we don’t think of it as ‘swearing’ – racial epithets, insults based on disabilities and sexual orientation – but some relates to things you avoid naming because of their power. Our word ‘bear’ comes from a word for ‘brown’ that was used in place of the ‘true’ name of the animal; nobody wanted to say its name lest it appear. In southern Africa, some cultures have a ‘respect’ speech that is imposed on women in regard to their in-laws: for instance, their father-in-law’s name is taboo, as is any word that sounds like it – but that doesn’t turn the father-in-law’s name into an expletive they shout when they hurt themselves.

Mother of all insults

Words for genitalia are the most common focus of preferred strong language, the kind used by default for Pinker’s five functions. You may utter the name of the male or female organ when irritated in China or Russia; in Italy, if someone cuts you off in traffic, you may shout “che *****”, which could be translated as “What the cock!” But the word for the female organ is usually the more forbidden one. Penises are keys to power; vaginas are to be kept locked shut except to the man with the right key. As strong as vittu is in Finnish, however, French con and its derivatives connard and connasse are no stronger than English’s 'jerk'. And in Rinconada Bikol, a language of the Philippines, buray ni nanya (mother’s vagina) is used commonly as we might use “Nuts!”

Sex, though desired, is – in the angry, aggressive part of the mind – a dominating act, something performed upon a weaker recipient. Functional equivalents to the F-word are found in many languages. This is quite evidently linked to male aggression. Females are cast in a submissive role. But men are also attached to their nurturing mothers (let’s just take the Freudian stuff as read, shall we?). Thus the most transgressive language in many cultures involves sexual acts on a person’s mother (sometimes specifying her genitalia). Cultures in which the mother figures most strongly in the go-to bad language include Latin ones (less so French); also Slavic, Balkan, Arabic Chinese and neighbouring ones. As it happens, these cultures also tend to be extended-family rather than nuclear-family societies. Some of the F-word swears spread more broadly, onto father (Bosnian ), grandfather, even the whole set of relatives: Albanian (qifsha robt “your family”), Turkish (sülaleni sikeyim "your extended family"), Mandarin (cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài "your ancestors to the 18th generation").

Morality is a control system maintaining male dominance but also some level of security for a wife. Prostitutes defy a wife’s exclusivity and a man’s ownership, which is likely why words for ‘whore’ are also very common strong language in many parts of the world – and in some languages (such as Luganda) why words for genitalia are avoided: prostitutes use them. In fact, the cultures that swear the most about mothers tend to swear about prostitutes a lot too. They don’t really figure in Chinese, but throughout the Slavic world the word for ‘whore’ is a key strong word; Polish kurwa is the all-purpose equivalent of the F-word. Spanish has puta and hijo de puta, Italian has puttana, and French loads up on prostitutes and brothels – and faeces.

Dirty talk

Among Christian cultures, the line between those that swear a lot about mothers and whores and those that don’t looks quite like the line between those where Mary is a co-star with Jesus and those where she’s part of the supporting cast. Mention a man’s mother in Finland, for instance, and he’ll more likely assume that you have a personal quarrel with her than that you’re trying to offend him. Yes, in Finland the term for female genitaliais one of the rudest words available. But the other rudest words are saatana (Satan), perkele (devil – converted from the name of a pre-Christian thunder god), and helvetti (Hell). These are also the go-to set in Swedish, Norwegian, and Danish.

The fire-and-brimstone missionaries burned the fear of evil into them. Similar direct evidence of church control shows up a little in English (centuries ago, swearing by various parts of Christ’s body was as bad as you could get; now “damn” and “hell” are still iffy). France may like its putains and cons, but in Quebec, which until a few decades ago was heavily dominated by the Catholic Church, much of the preferred strong language is formed from words for things you’ll find in a church: hostie (consecrated communion wafer), tabernacle (where you store it), ciboire (what you carry it with) and calice (the chalice of wine).

Faeces is preferred in strong language in fewer places than you may expect. It does show up here and there: Fijian and other Austronesian languages, Arabic, and Albanian, to name a few. In the British-French-German circle, shit, merde, and Scheiße are bad words thanks to cleanliness-focused social controls (should we say anal retentiveness?). But in Sweden, while you might say skit when you’re annoyed, you can even say it in front of your grandmother. Other cleanliness taboos figure in some languages. The cloths you use to clean your backside are especially bad language in Jamaican Patois.

A few places have a special horror of disease. You can use “cholera!” as a cathartic expletive in Polish (if you’re of an older generation) and you can wish cholera on someone in Thai. Much of the Dutch strong language makes use of cancer, cholera, and typhus; if you want to make something offensive in Dutch, just add kanker to it. – “cancer sufferer” is an extremely coarse insult. Poor health seems to upset the Dutch more than violations of the moral code.

Animals can be dirty too, and are used in many insults, but animals are not normally near the morality-based social control structures, so they’re not usually what we think of as swear words – except when they come from veiled references, as with Mandarin guītóu (turtle’s head, standing in for penis). Likewise, mental deficiency is widely looked down on, but while insults the equivalent of ‘idiot’ are common enough, it’s only in a culture such as Japanese that it makes one of the most popular ‘bad words’ (baka). Social control structures differ somewhat from country to country, but they are, after all, developed by the same human animal on the same planet. It’s the same magma bubbling up.

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G-CPTN
9th Mar 2015, 10:15
When we moved from the UK to Denmark in the 1980s, I was surprised to find that the usual (to us) swear words involving sexual functions were not considered as swear words, whereas religious terms such as involving the Underworld were the worst possible expletives.

I resolved this by comparing a religious society (such as devout Roman Catholics) where blaspheming is considered unacceptable, but with the subject transferred to the Devil (Satan) and Hell, then I adjusted to the new thinking - though it was disturbing to hear young children discussing (in English) intimate sexual activity without reproach.

The Danes seemed totally relaxed to discuss medical matters freely in detail, yet it was considered bad behaviour to blow your nose in public - it was necessary to sniff until you could withdraw and blow your nose 'in the toilet' or some secluded location.

I don't recall whether coughing was 'permitted' - though I suspect not.

603DX
9th Mar 2015, 10:48
My dad didn't really use profanity, at least not in my hearing. To express surprise in a mixed-sex social setting, he would often say "Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs!" The meaning, if there was one, still escapes me.

If describing someone's behaviour as less than manly, he would say "He was like a NAAFI girl with torn bloomers!" That was probably his most racy utterance.

I liked my dad. A lot. So the fact that I don't use foul language myself might be connected with his example. :)

MagnusP
9th Mar 2015, 10:51
My Mum had two cousins in Shetland who, at the age of 9 or so, sat down and said every swear word they could think of. Never swore again.

G-CPTN
9th Mar 2015, 11:15
Having read through the text above (thanks, probes) I now remember that a particularly strong expletive was 'Cancer eat me'.

rgbrock1
9th Mar 2015, 14:04
Can someone tell me how a thread which has been seemingly dead for almost 2 years becomes resurrected? Oh, never mind. This is JB. (Similar in many respects to the twilight zone, I suppose.)

teeteringhead
9th Mar 2015, 14:14
When in his extreme youth - probably about 3 or 4 - the Son-and-Heir developed a portmanteau expletive - which the family still occasionally use in a facetious manner.

It was "Cowpighorseweepookick!" We can only imagine that "cow " and "pig" were words one didn't call ones sister (with "horse" added for good measure) "wee" and "poo" being unsuitable subjects for conversation, and "kick" being something one didn't do to ones sister.

We had an English master at school who would use the Shakespearean sounding triplet: "Sh!t, pox and buggery!". :ok:

Lonewolf_50
9th Mar 2015, 14:36
Two coarse terms I learned in the Navy, among others ...

1. Goatfcuk. (An operation that was a hopeless mess)
Usage:"what a goatfcuk"

2. Packing five pounds of sht into a four pound bag.
(Looks awful, but has a lot of applicability of "trying to do too much at once" or "trying to fit too many things into something else)
Usage example a badly loaded bunch of tools/kit on a pallet for loading:
"Looks like you're trying to pack five pounds of sht into a four pound bag. Break down that pallet and load it properly!"

3. I don't know where the following came from, but I used to use this term now and again " mad enough to fcuk a cat." I don't use it anymore.

Lon More
9th Mar 2015, 14:47
From the mean streets of Glasgow about 60 years ago, "Toley tittÿ bum fcuk."

From several pages back I don't get the Afrikaans, "Strandloper" it being a wading bird. But in Dutch we have "mierenneuker" (ant fcukker) for someone who is focussed on the minutest of details

rgbrock1
9th Mar 2015, 14:56
LW50:

Any here I was thinking that the term "goat fcuk" was an Army term.
Then again, we also had "cluster fcuk", "goat screw" and "FUBAR" as other descriptive terms.

AtomKraft
9th Mar 2015, 17:19
My old Granny, if describing something extremely dry, would say

'Its dry as a nuns hole'.

She was old, but you wouldn't want to fight her.

36050100
9th Mar 2015, 17:35
"Well fcuk me Janet"

Attributed to Pete Wiltshire, Overman, Beeston Seam, Fryston Colliery c1979 upon hearing that sadly, the shearer had broken down yet again.

Fantome
9th Mar 2015, 18:44
Thus the most transgressive language in many cultures involves sexual acts on a person’s motherThere was a Serbian boy who attended Canberra High School in the late 50's
His father had been a senior design engineer at the Ikarus aircraft factory in Belgrade. Upon migration post-war, the best work his dad could find was in the patents office. Momcillo, the son, was happy to tell any kid with an ear for foreign languages the phrase , here phonetically rendered 'ya hotchew ya batch enna' (Go f yr mother) He warned us that it was never to be tried out experimentally on a Croat, unless you were happy to have a knife pulled on you.

Earlier posts quoted combinations of 'shit' and 'derision'. The late Arto Tapp, who was a nav in the RAAF over Europe, with whom I once worked on cloud seeding, used to say when particularly pissed off "HELL- SHIT AND DERISION" or when having a round of golf, he might top the ball, to which he would more softly exclaim "shit-oh-dear".

One of the more savoury sayings of couth gentlemen, such as Rodney Rude , was "suck me off and call me tasty'.

Much milder is the now well known line from the movie THE CASTLE - "Get your hand off it Darrell".

Which reminds me of a piece off advice I once heard on the airwaves, somewhere over Bass Strait it was, after one Dallas had
hogged the frequency at tedious length, prompting another pilot to caution him the moment Dallas unkeyed his mic - "Change hands Dallas. Change hands.". (A singularly dry sort of a sod was Nigel.)

And these days, to call anyone racist, is to invite all manner of misinterpretation and castigation.

probes
9th Mar 2015, 19:17
I really like "Hot as hell's dishwater" by the Archie Goodwin - makes one think why they would need dishes (to wash) in Hell, and what they'd eat from there... and the, youknow.

Fantome
9th Mar 2015, 21:29
of course many of the examples given are not true expletives, more descriptive phrases or sayings. To hear a genuine spontaneous expletive or ejaculation
drop a gearbox you are lugging on your foot. or on the other hand, have a listen to the expletives that someone with tourettes comes out with -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07EZrBF5cq0

Donkey497
9th Mar 2015, 21:32
Given that my normal accent combines the worst aspects of the grating, guttural Glaswegian and the short tempered speed & overtones of violence from the East coast ports, I often find that should anyone offend me, and subsequently try to blank me, a swift exclamation of "Haw! CnutyBaws!" gets me their immediate attention, as well as ensuring silence in the rest of the room / building.:E


Maybe it's the accent, or the intonation, but an apology for my previously offended feelings then usually follows shortly thereafter, being as how I have a tendency to loom over people as well. I am, as they say round here, a BIG laddie & I do find it helps to let people come to entirely the wrong conclusion about me & use it to my advantage.


Works wonders in places like the US where we are divided by a common language & Norway where sometimes about the only thing we have in common is a Viking raid a thousand years ago.

Fantome
9th Mar 2015, 21:38
the gentle giant it would appear . .. .. till the claymore is firmly in his grasp

why is it we anglophiles find the scots and the irish ever so intrigueing ?

(well I am a fan of Shaw and Wilde and Burns and Connolly)

and so sublimely endowed across the width and the breadth of their lands with
the most fetching of females

Donkey497
9th Mar 2015, 21:45
Usually....... there's less paperwork that way.

Lon More
9th Mar 2015, 22:30
Some years ago went to Farnborough with an American friend. NATS were displaying a model of the CCF (Combined Control Function) which looked extremely messy and complicated. After studying it for several minutes he said, "We've had that in the States for years." Cue NATS official, not happy that his baby is being belittled, to ask how. "Collosal Cluster Fcuk" was the answer load enough to be heard throughout the hall

Vercingetorix
10th Mar 2015, 01:17
As they say in Ireland:

"May your buttocks turn to drumsticks and batter the shyte out of you"

ElectroVlasic
10th Mar 2015, 03:23
I have to say one of the most impressive explicitives I ever read was the one that French footballer Nicholas Anelka said to his coach that led to him being sent home from the World Cup.

Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicolas_Anelka) captured it as:During the 2010 World Cup, Anelka was sent home after reportedly abusing coach Raymond Domenech at half-time during the 2–0 defeat to Mexico national team.[110] Following criticism of his positioning by Domenech, Anelka is reported to have said, "Va te faire enculer, sale fils de pute"[111] meaning "Go fcuk yourself you son of a whore."[112] The incident was later reported by the media, and the player refused to publicly apologise when asked to by French Football Federation president Jean-Pierre Escalettes.[113] The next day, the squad refused to get to training in protest against Anelka's expulsion.[114] Anelka was subsequently hit by an 18-game suspension from international football by the FFF as punishment for his actions, effectively ending his international career. Anelka later claimed to be "dying with laughter" at the 18-match ban, as he had already decided to retire from international play.To me it's pretty breath-taking in its directness, strength and brevity. It also ticks several of the boxes described in the BBC article posted earlier.

mixture
10th Mar 2015, 12:57
of the most impressive explicitives I ever read was the one that French

Aah yes, the French.

Very proud of their mastery of their language and their uncanny ability to feel the need to write a dozen words when only a few will suffice.

I suppose their mastery of short expletives that pack a punch must have arisen from a desire for some form of relief from the formalities of their language (even though many of their expletives retain grammatical gender !).

The one you quote is actually commonly further abbreviated to a mere four words, the eight word version you quote is verging on formal !

Their expression for flat-chested women is also something that only the French could come up with. :cool:

teeteringhead
10th Mar 2015, 13:26
phonetically rendered 'ya hotchew ya batch enna' (Go f yr mother) Heard an extended version of that once, from someone not too far away from the Balkans.

Can't remember the furrin version, but it translated as:

"Go f yr mother, using your sister's pubic hair as a cushion!"

Or the two female relatives may have been the other way around - it was a long time ago....

om15
10th Mar 2015, 13:27
Ah yes, not quite French, but near enough, I have always admired Captain Haddock for his wide ranging vocabulary.


"Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnacle)!" ("Mille millions de mille milliards de mille sabords!") and "Ten thousand thundering typhoons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Typhoons)!" ("Tonnerre de Brest (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brest,_France)!").


More expressive than your usual Rock Ape obscenities.

bekolblockage
10th Mar 2015, 14:23
From an old footy coach;
"Lick my swingers" (in the came vein as GFY).

I also have a phrase in Cantonese, taught to me by a Chinese mate but never use it. Around Cantonese speakers anyway. It's simply too obscene!!

Go on. Try me.
DLLM?

Pinky the pilot
11th Mar 2015, 07:56
I also have a phrase in Cantonese, taught to me by a Chinese mate but never use it. Around Cantonese speakers anyway. It's simply too obscene!!

Me too. I wonder if it's the same phrase?

Fliegenmong
11th Mar 2015, 10:19
𨳒你老母 ?? perhaps?

Loose rivets
11th Mar 2015, 11:49
Mmmm, you're not supposed to do that with your mother.



Due to a series of crises as I near the end of my time, I'm trying to calm the 'chattering monkeys' in my mind. Calm. It's not me, but it really has surprised me how quickly I've been able to be silent in the face of adversity. I did say tut the other day. Naughty corner for me.

jolihokistix
11th Mar 2015, 13:27
I never swear, unless I am alone and driving. (I never tell lies, either.)

MagnusP
11th Mar 2015, 15:50
The magnusdottirs bought me a dictionary of "dirty Italian". I will consult it this evening.

Fantome
11th Mar 2015, 17:10
should anyone be so unexposed to the cream of absurdist humour, as to not know the perpetrator of these
o so British expletives . . .. . stand in the corner

and should you be not very bright .. . . say "what! what ! what! what! " very quickly

"Nurgle me rogers!"

"knuckle me sombrero and spanish me knuckles!"

"griddle me grotkins!"

"Great malleable lumps of steaming thun!"

om15
11th Mar 2015, 18:40
Was it Rambling Syd Rumpo,?


edited, reread your post, clue leads me to Secombe?

Solid Rust Twotter
11th Mar 2015, 18:43
Bloodnok (Sellers).

beaufort1
11th Mar 2015, 20:57
Oh bother!! (Winnie the Pooh)

Said with the correct inflection can be quite effective. ;);)

victor tango
12th Mar 2015, 19:52
May the fleas of a thousand flies infest your armpits.

A greeting when you meet a middle eastern politician I am led to believe :rolleyes:

Flash2001
12th Mar 2015, 21:03
I'm told that Arabic lacks profane words. This leads to rather creative insults. O son of a thousand fathers etc...

Fantome
12th Mar 2015, 21:08
vile infidel know, you've trod on the toe , of abdul abulbul ameer

( pity the great song lacks one single expletive)

johngreen
12th Mar 2015, 21:13
"May your balls turn square and fester from the edges!"


Told to me as an Arabic insult many years ago.


I assume it is genuine but regardless can think of a few people known over my life that I reckon deserve such a curse...

Pinky the pilot
13th Mar 2015, 09:58
May your arms turn into cricket bats and hit your balls for a six!

A favourite insult on the cricket field of my Barossa Valley (Lutheran:eek:) Primary School of the early 1960's.:ooh: