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Lancelot37
21st Apr 2013, 14:05
I love to give them a piece of my mind, not only them but anyone who thinks that there is a god. They are living in the 1800's.

Milo Minderbinder
21st Apr 2013, 19:33
I was upstairs fixing a computer this afternoon when came a knock on the door.
Thirteen year old son opens the door. Faced by a pair who introduce themselves as Jehovah's Witnesses and ask him "Have you seen the light"
Son retorts, "Well technically speaking, light is all you can see. Its the only thing the eye is sensitive to. So yes, I see light all the time."
One Witness looks at the other, shakes his head and they both turn away and leave the street without uttering another word.
I felt so proud.

Capetonian
21st Apr 2013, 19:42
Give your son a big pat on the back from me! At 13, that's superb, both that he's not intimidated, and that he had the right answer.

The last time the JWs came to us I babbled at them in my bad Polish. Three days later, we got one of these in the mailbox ......

They are extremely well organised, and not as pushy as they used to be. I have a certain respect for them and generally they are not bad people - at least the ones I've met, they seem to be honest decent people with high morals.
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/7593647/21APR.JPG

500N
21st Apr 2013, 19:46
Milo

:D:D:D

Congrats to your son. Put a smile on my face.


Most JW seem to be OK, agree not as pushy as they used to be.

OFSO
21st Apr 2013, 19:59
After you've had a chat with them, follow them down the street and you will see them writing up case notes on their visit to you. It all goes down in the book and is all filed back at JW HQ.

They come once a month or so to my front gate and we have a chat, they hand over "Die Wachturm" und "Erwache !" (excuse spelling but its late and I'm tired) and off they go. Nice people. The regular lady is a doppelganger of Meryl Streep, and charming and friendly.

G-CPTN
21st Apr 2013, 20:03
It is possible that at age 13 he was unaware of just who JWs are and what they represent and that his response was a genuine attempt to educate them.

Milo Minderbinder
21st Apr 2013, 20:07
Oh no - he knew!

G-CPTN
21st Apr 2013, 20:10
In which case, clever boy!

Cacophonix
21st Apr 2013, 20:14
A sure fire way of ensuring the Jehovah's witnesses will flee leaving a trail of Watchtowers in their wake is simply to tell them you are Catholic. This method is even more efficacious than garlic with vampires, believe me.

Caco

SpringHeeledJack
21st Apr 2013, 20:19
I had a couple of ladies turn up on my doorstep last week, I thought "here we go.....", but to my surprise they seemed more interested in my diet. When I confessed to enjoying white bread, that set them off and it was 10minutes solid of brown bread this, brown bread that....but not wishing to be rude I made my excuses and they left. I think that said they were Hovis Witnesses.

Well done to Minderbinder minor, very quick thinking. I seem to remember discussing Erik von Daniken with them at the same age which didn't go down well, but at the same time didn't get rid of them either :}



SHJ

PukinDog
21st Apr 2013, 20:28
I thought light was invisible to us except when it hits stuff.

Tankertrashnav
21st Apr 2013, 20:40
You could always try telling them that you'd love to chat but you're late for your blood donor session!

N707ZS
21st Apr 2013, 20:48
He must of hidden the copy of "Watch Tower" they always slip you one of those if you open the door.

Loose rivets
21st Apr 2013, 20:52
In glass, the photon causes an electron to be pumped up to a new level, and when it reverts to its original level it releases another photon of the same energy level. So what happens to a photon when it's traveling through the eye's vitrious humor?

1DC
21st Apr 2013, 21:34
Caco.. I was told to tell them that I was a Catholic and I did and they didn't bother me for a few years. So it worked for me..

Slasher
21st Apr 2013, 21:53
Don't get me started on stinkin' bloody JWs! http://serve.mysmiley.net/mad/mad.gif

Next time they visit have a bucket filled with
dog pee mixed with sticky cordial and throw it
all over 'em. That'll keep them away for a few
months - then do it again whenever they come
back.

You were lucky in this case Milo - usually they
are more persistent than flies around shit.

pulse1
21st Apr 2013, 22:08
A couple of years ago I had a visit from two attractive young lady JW's. At the time we had a lot of flowers by the front door and a nest of bees in an adjacent wall. Result, lots of bees swarming around the young ladies who, to be fair, tried very hard to ignore them but my mischievous streak kept them talking as long as I could.

Davaar
21st Apr 2013, 22:10
You could always try telling them that you'd love to chat but you're late for your blood donor session

I was once in the Heart Institute "preparing" by "giving", as if I had any choice, a potful of my blood for later transmission to me if need be. Although I am not RC, I equipped myself in advance with garlic and a crucifix. I thrust both at the bloodsucker. Neither was effective. The technician suggested I try a Star of David next time.

I find the JW invariably pleasant. I tell them I attend a church already and off they go. I did once hit them with inconsistences between the Revised Bible and the King James Version, but I felt rotten afterwards. I had even drawn in the Vulgate, but they were nice ladies and they meant well.

Incidentally, the late Reichsfuehrer SS Heinrich Himmler was one of their great admirers. Despite the Gestapo's worst excesses, by torture and otherwise, in Concentration Camps they would never fold. He recommended them to the SS as a great model of courage and fortitude, albeit a trifle off-centre.

I.R.PIRATE
21st Apr 2013, 22:12
They dont stick around too long if you open the door in the nude.:suspect:

Metro man
21st Apr 2013, 22:35
When the Nazis had them in the concentration camps, they were allowed to work as barbers for the German soldiers because of their aversion to violence. It seems the Jerries were wary of who got to use cut throat razors on them.;)

Taking any publications from them guarantees you a return visit. They need to visit seventy houses before finding some one daft enough to convert.

I managed to have my house declared "hostile" and now get left alone by them. It only took a quick phone call to the local Kingdom Hall outlining what I would do to the next one who came around, and it was soon sorted out.:E

bugg smasher
21st Apr 2013, 22:37
Mrs. Brown and The Mormons - Mrs. Brown's Boys Episode 6, preview - BBC One - YouTube

500N
21st Apr 2013, 22:41
IRP

"They dont stick around too long if you open the door in the nude.http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/cwm13.gif"

+ 1

Although it was by accident but they didn't hand around.


I managed to get them to stay away for a while - this was when
they were pushy by just listing my pastimes - Military, hunting,
shooting, killing things etc etc, they soon lose interest.

.

421dog
22nd Apr 2013, 02:41
In glass, the photon causes an electron to be pumped up to a new level, and when it reverts to its original level it releases another photon of the same energy level. So what happens to a photon when it's traveling through the eye's vitrious humor?

This occurred to me as well when I was a junior in high school. I still can't quite come to terms with it, and I suspect it's one of the reasons I occasionally go to church.

onetrack
22nd Apr 2013, 03:46
The JW's pose as a religion, but they are nothing more than an "authoratorian regime", on a par with Islam and the Roman Catholic Church.

These religions deprive you of your free will to decide what is right and what is wrong. The Bible clearly states we are personally responsible to decide our position in relation to God, as we were given free will.

Any organisation ("regime"), which dictates to you as to how you should believe - as all of the above do - is nothing more than a form of enslavement and a corruption of religious teachings.

The JW's split families, including husbands and wives, if one person becomes a member of the JW's, and the other doesn't. This is in direct contravention of God's teachings, and defines the JW's as a regime without an ounce of Christian compassion, and a regime that brooks no rejection of their laid-down authority.

Unfortunately, a lot of very good and well-meaning people get sucked into the JW's and then cannot see the wood for the trees.
This religion seems to attract people who need utterances and guidance from "leaders" as to how and what they believe.

I engage them and outline all the teaching transgressions of their regime, and how they corrupt Biblical teachings. They never return.

Piper.Classique
22nd Apr 2013, 05:07
I have two charming ladies call once a month complete with young son, and a bag of carrots for the donkeys. They drink tea with us, pet the donkeys, and leave a magazine or two. They have given up trying to convert us but usually leave with a few eggs and some vegetables from the garden. The magazines are good for lighting the fire or lining the compost bin.

sitigeltfel
22nd Apr 2013, 05:11
Because it is not the done thing to wander into anyones property unannounced here, they have a different tactic. They set up a little stand of brochures outside popular venues, such as Post Offices, then lurk in wait about ten metres away. Anyone who stops and looks at the pamphlets, out of curiosity, is pounced on and given the work over.

On the scale of loony-ness, they are still leagues behind Scientoligists though.

Solid Rust Twotter
22nd Apr 2013, 05:52
I give them the silent, unblinking expressionless lizard stare through the gate while licking my lips occasionally. Eventually they sort of wind down and make a run for safety.

Capetonian
22nd Apr 2013, 05:52
The JW's pose as a religion, but they are nothing more than an "authoratorian regime", on a par with Islam and the Roman Catholic Church.

They are no worse than any other formal religion, and apart from the proselytising aspect of the religion, they tend to keep to themselves and not interfere with or try to control others. Over the years, I have met quite a lot of JWs, both professionally and socially, and they have all been decent people with high morals. They do not start wars and crusades in the name of their religion. The religion is controlling towards those within it but they seem to have a live and let live attitude to others.

One of my colleagues in my last job is a JW and amongst the next of backstabbing two-timing vipers I worked with, he was a beacon of decency and morality who would give his time and knowledge generously and without expectation of anything in return. He never mentioned his religion - I found out by chance after working with him for a couple of years.

Cacophonix
22nd Apr 2013, 06:02
I agree with Capetonian. Their core beliefs are no more irrational than many other religious sects out there although the proscription of blood transfusions takes the worldly manifestation of their beliefs to another self-limiting dimension.

I would suggest that they are the best dressed of all the religions. Always very well turned out as they flee from my door.

Caco

Metro man
22nd Apr 2013, 06:20
Mormons missionaries always in suits and ties if the climate allows it, otherwise short sleeves and a tie. Makes the buggers easy to spot from a distance, and you know what to expect if they're on your door step.

Blacksheep
22nd Apr 2013, 06:50
I thought light was invisible to us except when it hits stuff.Don't try looking at the sun. Trust me. :)

Rwy in Sight
22nd Apr 2013, 07:06
I spent some 30 very intresting minutes on a short domestic flight on my last contact with them. I respect them for their belief and as other ppruners have said they don't cause trouble outside their desire to talk. And they do stop if you ask them to do so.


Rwy in Sight

Nervous SLF
22nd Apr 2013, 07:45
When I was a lad on a training course two of us were staying in digs organised and paid for by the company we worked for. It was only on the last night that
they brought up their JW belief and that was our fault. We were overheard talking about the film "Black Sabbath" and that rather disconcerted
them :) We found out later that our company had told them that they would only get lads staying IF they didn't mention anything about being JW's
We never told the company and they continued getting lodgers, we found them to be good people and as I said it was only because of what we said
that they reacted.We felt they deserved the money that they got.

Fliegenmong
22nd Apr 2013, 08:03
I hear the word Jehovah.....and I always think of this scene.....too funny!!!!

stoned for saying jehovah (life of brian) - YouTube

Erwin Schroedinger
22nd Apr 2013, 08:22
It's about time door-to-door anything became illegal.

My MP isn't too interested in the idea. Must be a poor vote magnet, or career enhancer.

Hydromet
22nd Apr 2013, 08:35
They're the least troublesome of the canvassers that come to my door/workshop. As with all the others, I turn the dust collector on and put my ear muffs on and look busy until they leave.

PingDit
22nd Apr 2013, 09:24
Some years ago when visits by JW's seemed more frequent, I took it upon myself as a personal challenge, to see how long I could keep some in my house for. My wife used to turn them away on a regular basis but that seemed too insensitive. Well, the next couple that rang were duly invited in by myself, my wife's eyebrows looked skyward and off she went shopping. I fed these two tea and biscuits and off we went. I managed to keep them there for a little under four hours. They seemed quite pleasant but I knew I'd got 'em when they started to exchange nervous looks at about the three hour point. Brilliant - job done.
However, they came back again. This time, the door was opened by my wife. She said no thanks etc., very politely but no, he wasn't having that and put his foot inside the door. Major error. My wife took exception to this and slammed the door against his foot in order to reinforce her point and broke his foot. It seems we are now 'black-listed', never to be visited again :{

Flash2001
22nd Apr 2013, 12:30
The only useful thing they ever did was to p**s off Maurice Duplessis and the Catholic Church establishment.

When they come around explain that you're interested but busy. Arrange for a visit in the future. Then invite the Mormons at the same time!

After an excellent landing etc...

Fox3WheresMyBanana
22nd Apr 2013, 12:48
I rented a house annex from a JW family for a while. They didn't come round once "on a mission from God".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4YrCFz0Kfc

Perhaps they didn't want to drive a way a source of income - there's your answer...

rgbrock1
22nd Apr 2013, 14:06
Most Jehovah's Witnesses should be renditioned to an extraordinary place and then water boarded.

The truth shall set ye free.

OFSO
22nd Apr 2013, 15:28
Most but not all. Whilst not meeting Slasher's Architectural Frontage Definition, the German lass who comes up to see me once a month is sufficiently toothsome to raise the mem's hackles: who on peeering out of the kitchen window will utter some such cry of "it's your blond woman here again" and sniff loudly as "Awake " is handed over.

obgraham
22nd Apr 2013, 16:01
Years ago one of my office staff's husband, a very devout Mormon, told me his routine with JW's at the door. Coming from him, I thought it both funny and appropriate:

JWs: blah blah blah
Him: Excuse me, do you salute the American flag and stand for the Anthem?
JWs: No, that's against our beliefs
Him: Well, when you start doing it, come back and talk to me. Till then, bye-bye.

Never an argument. Off they go. No unkind exchange.

uffington sb
22nd Apr 2013, 16:40
My parents and younger brother converted to jay dubyaism some years ago. Young brother married a fellow jay dubya and had a nipper. Turned out he was gay and always had been. They all got booted out of the church as being gay isn't allowed and bro now lives with his male partner.

What you can do is contact the local Kingdom Hall and get put on their " no call " list, and you won't get bothered again.

unclenelli
22nd Apr 2013, 20:35
Ask then to call back in 1/2hr as you were just about to start/they interrupted you masturbating!


Works with cold-phone-callers too!


Yeah, yeah yeah 1/2hr, 15mins, 2 mins whatever....!!!!

(2 mins means they are still in the street!!!)

Keef
22nd Apr 2013, 21:09
The JW ladies don't visit me any more (given me up as a lost cause, I suppose). We had some interesting discussions over the years.

They were always polite, honest, and well dressed. As, indeed, are all the Mormons I've met. Their integrity is absolute, and they are totally sincere about what they believe. I don't find any reason to be rude to them.

I could only wish the atheists who come knocking, trying to sell me electricity, double glazing, etc were as honest.

dead_pan
22nd Apr 2013, 21:31
I always keep a copy of Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion" to hand in the eventuality I ever get a visit from the dreaded JWs. My cunning plan is to ask them to sign it for me, as a test of their faith...

M.Mouse
22nd Apr 2013, 21:47
They were always polite, honest, and well dressed. As, indeed, are all the Mormons I've met. Their integrity is absolute, and they are totally sincere about what they believe. I don't find any reason to be rude to them.

And I thought I was alone in my thinking.

Keef
22nd Apr 2013, 21:51
I always keep a copy of Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion" to hand in the eventuality I ever get a visit from the dreaded JWs. My cunning plan is to ask them to sign it for me, as a test of their faith...

Funny thing: I keep a copy of the Bible for Richard Dawkins to sign in the unlikely event he ever comes calling, for much the same reason.

I read his books (some years ago). He does seem to make a lot of money out of promoting atheism.

dead_pan
22nd Apr 2013, 22:13
Hmm - intriguing. Do you think that's why he writes them?

Somehow I think he would have no trouble signing said book.

ShyTorque
22nd Apr 2013, 22:58
If they ever get me to open the door (which is unlikely, if I see who is coming up the drive I usually just let the dogs bark), I just tell them firmly but politely that I do not discuss religion at any time, especially on my doorstep, bid them goodbye and close the door again.

We did have one group of three clutching bibles who walked up my driveway as I was loading the car with luggage and kids to go on holiday. They didn't seem to take the hint (No thanks, I'm very busy and I'm late) and they stood around, so I just kept asking them to move out of my way while I carried on loading!

They finally got the message when I told them point blank to leave the property!

con-pilot
22nd Apr 2013, 23:58
They were always polite, honest, and well dressed. As, indeed, are all the Mormons I've met. Their integrity is absolute, and they are totally sincere about what they believe. I don't find any reason to be rude to them.


Just the other day a couple of nice Mormon boys knocked on the front door. I told them about my brother and cousin, their position in the Mormon Church establishment, asked if they needed anything, they didn't, I shook their hands, told them some of the areas to stay clear of, wished them good luck and they left.

No problem. For some reason we don't get too many Jehovah's Witnesses around here, probably too many Baptists. :p

cockney steve
23rd Apr 2013, 21:10
There was a knock on the door, my late partnergroaned , pronounced the visitors as Witnesses and insisted i answered the knock.
I invited the ladies in, explained very carefully that we would be unlikely to find common-ground and then proceeded to tell them their bible was "interpreted" by biased peolpe, for their own ends.
I explained the concept of an absolute truth and a supreme being who would never pass-on ambiguous messages which became even more garbled as each successive generation added their "version"
I explained the annotation on their literature "the Watchtower bible and tract society"..they became increasingly uncomfortable as I explained how this marketing-organisation had targeted their spiritual need and continued to manipulate them and use them as a source of income for the fat-cat head honchos. They couldbn't explain why the true god didn't see-off all the false religions and false versions of the bible.....and on, and on....I suggested they took a step back asked why their god had such a perverted, twisted streak that it would happily stand back and allow the pain, suffering, sickness and inhumanity to each other that "his"children endure in this earthly life.
Eventually, one stated that I had very strong and established views that they were unlikely to change...they exited and we never saw another visit.

Milo full marks to Son! I'd be proud of mine if they made a similar statement.

Slasher
24th Apr 2013, 02:58
The JW's split families,

You bet the bastard's do onetrack - its caused my older sister and
me never to have talked to each other for the past 33 years when
I got the arse from that mob for telling them to go fcuk 'emselves.

Its only in the last year she has started to respond to my emails -
standoffish replies but responses nontheless.

Hydromet
24th Apr 2013, 03:47
I got the arse from that mob for telling them to go fcuk 'emselves.
Is it true that many of the honchos have positions as forum mods?

ricardian
24th Apr 2013, 07:15
My mother found a way to send JWs on their way. She was the assistant stage manager in the local amateur dramatic society and was part way through making a funeral wreath that was required for the next play. The doorbell rang and she answered the door holding the wreath. The JWs apologised for intruding on her grief and left very quickly.

onetrack
24th Apr 2013, 15:07
Slasher, you're a member of a large club, unfortunately. The amount of damage done to family relationships by JW's is incredible, and guaranteed to gain them a special place in Hell, AFAIC.

Of course, we must never forget that we're all stuffed, anyway, according to the JW's - because only 144,000 will be finally chosen to go to Heaven - and they're all JW's. The rest of us go straight to Hell, because we never joined them. :rolleyes:

Why the Jehovah’s Witnesses teaching on the 144,000 is their BIG LIE (http://www.letusreason.org/JW52.htm)

rgbrock1
24th Apr 2013, 15:21
onetrack wrote:

The amount of damage done to family relationships by JW's is incredible,

As is the amount of damage done by The "Church" of Scientology." Sorry, couldn't resist. Thread drift I know.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.......

TURIN
24th Apr 2013, 16:42
I answered the door to two ladies and a small child, JWs, in my dressing gown while off work with a bad back. I had a heat pack secured to the base of my spine by the dressing gown belt and a cup of cofee in one hand. I was bored so I engaged them in conversation.
As our discussion became more animated, I felt the gown slowly start to loosen. I pinned my elbows to my sides in a vain attempt to stop the heat pack falling. Then they offered me a copy of the watchtower. I naturally reached for it with my free hand.
The gown billowed open and the heat pack went splat on the floor.

They didn't even blink!


Posted from Pprune.org App for Android

I.R.PIRATE
24th Apr 2013, 16:48
They'd obviously just been around my place before you...

Wodrick
24th Apr 2013, 17:00
I live at 1200ft asl up a concrete track, I am 2 km from the start of the track which is about 300 ft asl.
There are eight houses between the start of the track and my house. In all temperatures they often turn up on foot, having parked at the bottom, to convert me dressed as only they can in 35degree direct sun.
I humour them, least I can do, and offer them water, again least I can do before directing them to the next inhabited house.

pulse1
24th Apr 2013, 17:16
As an arrogant, know it all, young man, I used to attend local JW meetings with some of my friends intending to show them the error of their ways, using scientific argument. At the meetings we attended, they were studying a book about the League of Nations which told how it was an instrument of the devil as foretold in their version of the Bible (Book of Daniel). The study consisted of reading a passage and then answering the questions from the book. All one had to do was repeat the words from the passage. It required no intelligent thought at all.

Having said that, most of the grass roots members we met were pleasant people who tried to live according their beliefs and many of them had enjoyed life changing experiences as a result of their faith. This is very similar to many Christian churches I have been to over the following years.

Many years later, I read a book called "30 Years a Watchtower Slave", written by a man who had been a leading JW during the time of great expansion. Having left the organisation, he was somewhat bitter but, even allowing for this, it was obvious that cockney steve's [B]words were not far from the truth:

I explained the annotation on their literature "the Watchtower bible and tract society"..they became increasingly uncomfortable as I explained how [B]this marketing-organisation had targeted their spiritual need and continued to manipulate them and use them as a source of income for the fat-cat head honchos(my bold)

We once invited a more elderly JW couple indoors because we had nothing else to do and fancied a bit of a debate. We started to discuss the ways that their Bible differed from the King James Version. (Mrs p was brought up in the Brethren and knows her Bible more than most)

At one point, she handed her Bible to the JW lady to show how the two versions differed. This "nice" old lady, threw my wife's Bible onto the floor and stormed out of the house, dragging her husband behind her. A few minutes later she had to come crawling back because she had left her handbag behind.

rgbrock1
24th Apr 2013, 17:23
I've found that the easiest and most efficient method of ridding oneself of the pesky parasites known as Jehovah's Witnesses is to turn the garden hose on them as they approach the house.

Works wonders it does! :ok:

Slasher
24th Apr 2013, 21:54
As per my prev post rgb throwing a bucket of dog piss* mixed
with sticky cordial at them will keep 'em away forever.

*One can substitute one's own urine should one not possess
..nor locate a canine of adequate bladder size.

Haven't had no JW problem for many years since moving out
of Oz.

Metro man
24th Apr 2013, 22:56
A house I drove past one day had this sign on the gate:

"Hawkers, canvassers, religious orders, your time is valuable, don't waste it here"

I know how he felt, I was pretty sick of the door to door types when I lived in Oz.

vaqueroaero
25th Apr 2013, 03:54
I find the best way to avoid them is to simply close my driveway gate. Also works well with the 'restaurant suppliers' who have some steaks left over.