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Whiskey Zulu
26th Apr 2002, 15:07
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MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's eclipse coverage remarked:

"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's come in his shorts."

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HERE is Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."


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MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."


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JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyres on World Superbikes:
"Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."


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HERE is Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning:
"She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."


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WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead:
"Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."


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ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
"Well Phil,tell us about your amazing third leg."


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DURING the 1989 British Masters golf tournament, commentator Richie Benaud observed:
"Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green."


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CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe:
"With his lovely soft hands he just to55ed it off."


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CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."


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JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"


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Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."


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THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away. He said
"My word, look at that magnificent erection."


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Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said:
"They usually have four or five dreams a
night about coming from different positions."


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STEVE Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told Trude:
"There's something big growing between my legs."


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CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said:
"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

AerBabe
26th Apr 2002, 17:21
I remember watching some athletics on BBC1 a couple of years ago, and during the 400m:

"And Diane's about to be taken from behind"

gravity victim
26th Apr 2002, 19:27
I once heard a local radio newsreader refer to the 'tragic death of Jan Dildo.' :rolleyes:

Mooney Driver
27th Apr 2002, 00:31
True story ...a female US news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman, Don Leuhrs, and asked "So Don, where's that 6 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were
laughing so hard.

sprocket
27th Apr 2002, 03:04
I can remember a couple from the Sydney Olympic commentaries ….

1. They were discussing the women’s weightlifting from the previous nights competition, when one of the commentators (an ex weightlifter himself) said ….”We saw some great snatches there last night …” :D

2. This time at the women’s high diving; as a diver bent over to prepare for her dive, a commentator said …… “She has a great entry ….” :eek:

Skytrucker87
27th Apr 2002, 07:01
During the funeral of Princess Diana, one of the commentators made a reference to

"The horses' bits sparkling in the sunshine..."

Kuhtai
27th Apr 2002, 15:46
Commentator at a cricket match years ago:

"The bowler's Holding the batsman's Willey"

Presenter handing over to the cricket commentator:

"Now it's over to some more balls from Lord's"

Eagle18th
27th Apr 2002, 21:57
Simon Groom on Blue Peter, commenting on an antique bronze door knocker and a modern replica...

"I think you'll agree they are a lovely pair of knockers". :D

ShyTorque
28th Apr 2002, 01:03
Eagle18th,

Ah yes, I remember it well; a classic.

The best thing was the look on his face halfway through the sentence when he knew what he was about to say and couldn't think of a way of saying something else....there was a slight pause before the word "knockers" as he cringed before the whole of the teenaged population of UK :D

GoneWest
28th Apr 2002, 03:46
Ever so slightly off topic - but I remember watching Bob Friend on Sky News. The story was about reductions in the defence budget. He was trying to read the autocue with the headline "There are some big cuts in the Army ..." - but a stray letter 'N' entered his mind...and he read "There are some big cu*ts in the Army..."

At this point he stopped speaking, looked straight to camera....and fell backwards off his chair, onto the studio floor, in uncontrollable laughter.

I also heard of a guy that walked into a bar and ordered a double entendre...so the barmaid gave him one. Boom boom.

sirwa69
28th Apr 2002, 11:29
A couple of years ago Suzanne Charlton doing the weather on BBC World.

"It's going to be hot and sticky down there all weekend"

;)

Fell off my chair at that one :D :D

Jet Dragon
29th Apr 2002, 04:31
I remember one classic on a thread similar to this somewhere where a Football commentator , calling a Manchester City game said something to the effect of :

"Julian Dicks is everywhere - it's like City have 11 Dicks on the field"

:D :D :D

JD

TwinNDB
29th Apr 2002, 08:37
Best laugh i've had for a while - keep em coming - unfortunately someone stole mine! :D :D

The Nr Fairy
29th Apr 2002, 08:44
Michael Buerk ( I think - UK newsreader for those who don't know ) doing some late night news, handing over to Isobel Lang ( English top totty weather girl ) :

"So, Isobel, warm and wet tonight ?"

Nopax,thanx
29th Apr 2002, 10:45
Tony Blair's pronunciation of the Indian Prime Minister's (The Hon Atal Bihari Vajpayee) surname........vag pie!!!!!!!