Hearing tests

[sangiovese.]

I seem to be as I get older, more and more concerned about my annual medical.

Has anybody got a copy of the audio beep test for me to practise on, or is it available anywhere on the net?:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :)

Eyecharts also gladly accepted......

[6nandneutral]

I've got a spare NBC suit so that you could practice your NBC drills. You could test your respirator at one of my BBQs. You could also sign out a liferaft and lifejacket to practise your pool drills (handy to have a garden pond for this one). You might be able to download the fitness test beeps at www.shuttlerun.co.uk. But as you say you are getting older so you might have to buy an exercise bike try www.argos.co.uk. The list goes on and on, or you may just choose to do it once a year and leave the results to the experts. That would then give you more time to carry out your primary duties and get a life. :D :D :D

[TAC2]

try holding your breath for the full length of the hearing test, or just guess, the odds are slim but it might just work.

[MAD Boom]

What on earth?
What is there to practice?
Hear beeps, press button. If you don't hear it, you wont press it. That is how they find out your hearing level!
Must be a Pilot
Worried you might be grounded? I'm sure you'll still get your bonus!!.:confused:

[jayteeto]

You steely eyed youngsters are right, shut up and just do it you say......... Well some of us have years of damage from gas turbines and actually worry about the test!!! A few years ago I failed the test, again, and was referred to Peterborough hospital, the doc concluded that I wasn't sure if the beeps were real or my imagination (know the feeling?) and had an instant answer. His remedial test consisted of different sounds each time which took the guesswork out and I passed with rippling colours. Moral, don't fear the test, it isn't the end of the world.

[RubiC Cube]

Pardon? Don't worry about it. I was downgraded years ago and just do the test to the best of my ability now. Sent to see a specialist a couple of years ago who said that my hearing was better than most people of my age. So bang goes my disability pension.

[Cesspit 152]

The average individual will sit there in the 'fridge-like' chamber with a glazed expression on their face, not breathing, not swallowing, trying to pick out the little 'beep' 'beep' 'beep' inbetween heartbeats. :)


Eyechart is something I'm curious about, does anyone know if they're all the same or just random? - I haven't taken enough to have noticed.

[sangiovese.]

Cesspit, yeah I'm sure eyecharts must differ slightly.

Surprised nobody has asked how you can practise listening to the beeps on the hearing test. Good to see people jumping in with 'outraged of Dunstable' type answers. This forum is definitely getting too serious:) :) :)

[mutleyfour]

Pressing that button every 3 seconds does the trick for me, and with regard to the eye test...just have a casual glance whilst your having your blood pressure taken...and commit to memory!

Oh and hope its not one of those eye test boards that have 4 sides and can be swivelled around!

Finally if all else fails...get someone else to have your medical for you!

:p ;) :D

[Smoketoomuch]

Sang: I can send you a sound recording of me doing my last eye test. If you play it very quietly then perhaps you could kill two birds with one stone?

[Septimus Pyecroft]

Mutley four.......You sly old dog!!!!! So that's how ya pass the test? Wish i'd thought of it............!:eek: Any cheats for passing the height and weight check?!!!!!
Question: If you fail the hearing beep test, but pass the running beep test does that cancel it out?;)

[Tilt and Gain]

Most annual medicals seem to be timed such that the hearing test co-incides with the morning 4-ship getting airborne. With the booth/fridge window rattling within an inch of its life I'd defy anyone to score 100% without some serious guesswork.

[Them_And_Us]

R U LISTENING ??? :eek: :eek:

I'm not a doctor, but an engineer that has spent 10 years + working with jet engine noise, and working in dark engine bays for hours on end straining to see what your doing, just so some jock can claim his flying pay. The tests are there for your own benifit. If theres something wrong then they might be able to help, if not then you can claim compensation for what ever the injuries are. Crown immunity is long gone, and the military is responsible for your health along with yourself. If there is a problem with your hearing or eye sight, or anything else that effects your working ability, i would not like to be the one that gets injured due to your shortcomings and cheating of tests. At the end of the day your only cheating yourself. Be brave and see the doctor and mummy might take you to the sweet shop after !!

[Flt Lt Spry]

Take a look at the machine that does the test. You may notice a red light illuminate with each set of beeps. When you press the button, a green light illuminates to let you know that you are pressing it hard enough. Just make the lights come on one after the other and voila: your hearing test is now a hand/eye coordination test.

[Flt Lt Spry]

By the way, does anyone know how to make the writing on these forums appear larger? I have terrible trouble reading some of them...

[BEagle]

Like most bits of tat owned by HMFC, one of the fridges at a certain medical centre developed a fault. A 50 Hz mains hum buzzed over the headphones - but stopped whenever it was supposed to go 'beep'. Aircrew being aircrew, no-one mentioned it and months went by with aircrew of all ages getting astonishingly good results.....

PS - Surely the quacks must know that most things have volume controls?

PPS- Is it still A E C O N H T L on the bottom of the eye chart?