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View Full Version : HowToBePoliticallyCorrect.....


briteandbreezy
23rd Apr 2002, 23:10
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED. [Whoooo Hoooo !]

9. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

10. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

11. She is not a SL*T - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

12. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

13. She is not a TWO BIT WH*RE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY..

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.


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Alpha Leader
24th Apr 2002, 03:05
Good one, briteandbreezy! Enjoyed it big time!

coco-nuts
24th Apr 2002, 04:17
very good i will be using these terms in chat from now on...
cheers!!!

scran
24th Apr 2002, 04:41
Let me see....with respect to the male options,




Yes to 1, 2, 6 and 9!!!!!!!:D :D :D ;) :p

ArcticCircle
24th Apr 2002, 06:40
Hi B&B,

On a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being top); this one deserves a 9 (no one is perfect). Keep them coming! :)

sprocket
24th Apr 2002, 08:35
14. She is not a nag. - She is just a flamin' fishwife!

TowerDog
24th Apr 2002, 14:41
As for the Male scale: I am 1 to 9...:D

briteandbreezy
24th Apr 2002, 15:07
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Oyyyyyyyyy ArcticCircle......


Are ya sayin' I'm not perrfeckt like???? ;) :p



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ArcticCircle
24th Apr 2002, 15:28
B&B,

I guess that`s what I`m saying since the only one who really had a chance to be perfect was a man (sorry, but It`s true) and lived approx. 2000 years ago. If it helps; he did not make it either:(

briteandbreezy
24th Apr 2002, 20:55
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OMGGGG...... an' all these years I thought I was perrfeckt!!! :eek:

Somebody's been tellin' me porkies!!! :(

MEN!!!!!...... ya just can't trust 'em can ya??? ;)


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Firestorm
24th Apr 2002, 21:01
Forgive me, (or not - as you like) but why do we want to be politically correct? This is Jet Blast - last bastion of political incorrectness is it not!

For example she is not "overly sympathetic with cellulite" - she is a bloater! (Not you B&B.... just an example).:D

redsnail
24th Apr 2002, 22:47
And a bloke that is too short for his weight = Fat Bastard. :D

Capt Vegemite
25th Apr 2002, 00:15
She is norra FLOOZY...she's frum TEESIDE.

briteandbreezy
25th Apr 2002, 00:38
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Firestorm...... have you been peepin' thru my windows?? :eek:



Reddo...... hahahahahahaha.... nice one!!!! :D



Capt Vege...... tut tut,... I'm both shocked and surprised that you have not yet mastered the spelling of 'Teesside'!!!! ;)

AND......

I'M NORRA FLOOZIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:



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Kilted
25th Apr 2002, 01:07
Sorry - don't do politically correct - it's against my morals!

Hence:

She's not a "chromatically unfortunate female", she's a "blonde"

Nor is she "comsetically hirsute", she's a "beardie" (that's what comes of living near the fens!)

Oh, and she is an "airhead", DEFINITELY (note the spelling colonial types - no "a"!):D

PPRuNe Radar
25th Apr 2002, 13:42
C'mon Breezie, at least give us the full list so we guys know what we really are :rolleyes:

He is not quiet, He is a Conversational Minimalist.

He is not stupid, He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.

He is not short, He is Anatomically Compact.

He does not have a rich daddy, He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.

He does not constantly talk about cars, He has a Vehicular Addiction.

He does not have a hot body, He is Physically Combustible.

He is not unsophisticated, He is Socially Challenged.

He does not eat like a pig, He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.

He is not a sex machine, He is Romantically Automated.

He does not hog the blankets, He is Thermally Unappreciative


Couple more for your ladies list too

She does not Tease or Flirt, she engages in Artificial Stimulation.

She does not Get You Excited, she causes Temporary Blood Displacement.

She is not Kinky, she is a Creative Caretaker.

She does not have a Killer Body, she is Terminally Attractive.




All this PC stuff, what is JB coming to ?? :)