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View Full Version : Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa - the shame of OFSO


OFSO
26th Feb 2013, 18:04
The equivalent of doing a public penance is admitting my shame on PPRuNe.

Going out of the door to an important meeting tonight, the wife said "before you go could you give that left-over pork to the cat ?"

In mitigation, I did hold up the plate and said "this ?" although to be fair, Mrs OFSO was too far away to see clearly.

Coming home...oh the shame ! Two plates on the kitchen top, two hand-drawn notices. One plate contained a gnawed chicken bone "this was my supper" and the other untouched pork scraps "this was for the cat".

Wife sitting crocheting, shawl over her shoulders, not feeling well (ex-bronchitis) "don't you know the diference between a chicken leg and pork scraps ?"

Horrors, the guilt, the shame........

Lonewolf_50
26th Feb 2013, 18:14
OFSO, are cats at risk of choking on chicken bones in the same way that dogs are, or is this simply a matter of spousal disappointment in expecting chicken and being confronted by pork upon the return home?

With your confession comes a penance, which I suppose means taking her out for a nice beef steak. :ok:

Solid Rust Twotter
26th Feb 2013, 18:26
Perhaps a lonely walk in the rain to pick up Chinese take-out? No need for sack cloth and ashes.

OFSO
26th Feb 2013, 18:26
I plucked the chicken meat from the bone for the cat...and left the bone for Mrs OFSO. Oh God....

comes a penance, which I suppose means taking her out for a nice beef steak


I depart at 05:30 for a meeting in Paris tomorrow and have been instructed by a third party with a controlling interest (i.e. our tailor) to bring her back a nice present.......

G-CPTN
26th Feb 2013, 18:28
Some people apparently cannot differentiate pork from horsemeat . . .

Tableview
26th Feb 2013, 18:31
That meeting in Paris sounds like a good escape from the ire of your better half!

Imagine if the cat were Jewish!

Bon voyage!

rgbrock1
26th Feb 2013, 18:36
OFSO:

I'd suggest doing right by the Mrs. Either that or whilst in Paris you might want to research flights onto Siberia. You MAY be safer there.

Sunnyjohn
26th Feb 2013, 18:40
Oh dear, OFSO, you do have my sympathy. Went out shopping a couple of weeks ago for beef and came back with pork! Fortunately, because Mrs SJ is an excellent cook, she managed to use the beef recipe for the pork and all turned out OK. But, yes, been there, done that!

cavortingcheetah
26th Feb 2013, 18:52
A chicken flavoured cat cassoulet perhaps?

mustpost
26th Feb 2013, 18:54
managed to use the beef recipe for the pork
I'm sorry, but now Ikea are ahead of you...
http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/assembly_instructions/ekorre-rocking-moose__AA-101635-13_pub.PDF

1DC
26th Feb 2013, 18:55
Al this bother just because you didn't tell her to do it herself......

wings folded
26th Feb 2013, 18:57
I suppose that saying "do it your soddin self" was out of the question?

1DC got there before me. Happens all the time, but only by 2 minutes this time

radeng
26th Feb 2013, 19:00
As the Head Chef in the radeng establishment (she says 'Why keep a dog and bark yourself?'), these problems very, very rarely occur.

But she rarely has ideas of which meal, and at times, I rack my brains to keep some variety going. But our cats would eat the chicken and the pork scraps...

wings folded
26th Feb 2013, 19:13
With your confession comes a penance, which I suppose means taking her out for a nice beef steak. http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/thumbs.gif


Probably turn out to be horse or donkey or summat, and you will be in even deeper shite.

Better, invoke the explanation that you are the archtypical masculine incompetent, displaying splendidly the traits thereof. They readily associate with the concept and it makes them fell better, bless them.

Then go for a pint.

500N
26th Feb 2013, 19:15
radeng

Re "and at times, I rack my brains to keep some variety going."

Had the same problem. Try these.

Every month, go to your supermarket when you have plenty of time
and slowly walk the opposite way round the aisles. It's amazing what
you will see.
Also, write a couple of obscure things on your shopping list and
then find them - you will also see other things to try.
And lastly, go to another supermarket or alternate between them.
Get out a completely new cook book or look on the net.
Try cooking a meal you have had out. For the second time only,
I just did Prawns, Scallops in a creamy garlic sauce on steak. Worked out great.
Throw caution to the wind and just try something new like a new meat or sauce. Sauces can completely change a dish.
Mexican nachos or wraps :O

radeng
26th Feb 2013, 19:20
500N

We can't get Mexicans in the butchery section of the supermarket.......

I do have a superb Chili con carne recipe, though....I've cooked in 5 American states and it's been approved in every one!

500N
26th Feb 2013, 19:23
"We can't get Mexicans in the butchery section of the supermarket......."

Grab a Spaniard, mus be some around near you :O

I was going to like Chilli but not a great fan myself.

This whole "variety" thing is hard, you do get into a bit
of "same, same", which is why I had to branch out.

G-CPTN
26th Feb 2013, 19:25
Chile con carne?

wings folded
26th Feb 2013, 19:25
We can't get Mexicans in the butchery section of the supermarket.......

I am sure that Roumanian/Welsh/Irish/French/Swedish distribution chains are innovative enough to oblige if you insist long enough.

They'll label it Tofu if you pay enough.

rgbrock1
26th Feb 2013, 19:31
We can't get Mexicans in the butchery section of the supermarket.......

Isn't it kind of obvious why that is? They're all off somewhere cutting someone's lawn or trimming the hedges. they have no time for supermarkets. :}:}:}

rgbrock1
26th Feb 2013, 19:33
500N wrote:

Every month, go to your supermarket when you have plenty of time
and slowly walk the opposite way round the aisles.

Is there a "correct" way of walking around the aisles of a Supermarket in Australia? Are these aisles labeled with arrows? :}:}:}

500N
26th Feb 2013, 19:33
RGB

I really expected a "why the need to go past the range of MRE"
type comment from you :O

rgbrock1
26th Feb 2013, 19:35
No, 500N, I appreciate Supermarket excursions. Which is what Mrs. rgb does. I'm not allowed to go with her to the Supermarket as I've been told that I "misbehave."

500N
26th Feb 2013, 19:35
"Is there a "correct" way of walking around the aisles of a Supermarket in Australia? Are these aisles labeled with arrows? http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/badteeth.gifhttp://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/badteeth.gifhttp://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/badteeth.gif"


Yes, of course, except we do it upside down :O


The majority of people walk the one way and do the same route
most or all of the time.

rgbrock1
26th Feb 2013, 19:36
Sounds like the "majority of people" who do so are trying to
imitate Lemmings.

Then again, if I saw Fosters on one of the shelves I might be inclined to throw myself off a cliff as well!!!!! :}:}:}

500N
26th Feb 2013, 19:37
"Which is what Mrs. rgb does. I'm not allowed to go with her to the Supermarket as I've been told that I "misbehave.""

That makes two of us :ok: :O

I got banned by the better half from going with her
on the Sunday morning shopping trip.

She said I screw up her routine and she forgets things
so has to make another trip !

500N
26th Feb 2013, 19:38
"Sounds like the "majority of people" who do so are trying to
imitate Lemmings."

No, it's unconsciously done.

One of the reasons Supermarkets should / do change the layout every so often.

Lonewolf_50
26th Feb 2013, 19:39
wings
Then go for a pint.
Absolutely.

rgbrock1
26th Feb 2013, 19:43
500N:

No, the Mrs. never told me I screw up her Supermarket routine.
I've been labeled "misbehaved" because the very few times I have accompanied her there I spent most of my time either pinching her ass, fondling her in other places or ogling other women.

<of course this was all done with a goal in mind. Which worked. I absolutely abhor Supermarkets. And hate shopping for anything.>

Milo Minderbinder
26th Feb 2013, 19:57
feed her a bottle of champagne, and then offer her pork with stuffing

radeng
26th Feb 2013, 20:42
The one thing in supermarkets that always irritates. Mother father, two, three or more screaming kids. WTF does it need ALL of them to do the shopping?

If the man can't do it on his own, he can look after the kids. If she can't drive, he can stay with kids in carpark/ car or whatever.

Then there's the wrinklies fart arsing about trying to make their minds up, putting the flaming trolley across the aisle so you can't get by. And then the idle bast*ards who won't take their trollies back. Because they've got a disabled persons parking badge. So have I and I manage to do it...

I HATE shopping. Shopping for food is bad enough: clothes, shoes etc is even worse....

So I could food shop on line. But it removes the element of choice, and I don't want the items with the nearest sell by dates....

Thomas Carlyle was right. 'The world is full of men, mostly fools'.
In which you have to include women.

Fantome
26th Feb 2013, 21:56
Thinking of cryptic notes, writ large and left on the kitchen table for he who staggers home late, feeling no pain, this choice little missive greeted such a return in the wee small hours -

YOUR DINNER . . . IS IN THE DOG!

Tankertrashnav
26th Feb 2013, 22:16
The majority of people walk the one way and do the same route
most or all of the time.


Mrs TTN and I do- she gets most of the stuff, I scan and pack it (saves queuing at the checkouts). We stick to a well-worn route, indeed there are whole aisles in our local Tescos that I have never been down and may offer larks tongues in aspic for all I am aware. We are paid up card-carrying wrinklies but we don't faff around or block the aisles and we always take our trolley back!

Variety? Yeah well I reckon I've eaten upwards of 23,000 dinners in my lifetime so I've tried most stuff and frankly I don't want any more surprises - just the expectation that I am going to like what I eat.

Cacophonix
26th Feb 2013, 23:55
Goodness gracious OFSO, when I saw this, I thought you might have buggered the bursar or a Mod or something...

Tis a mere moggy man... ;)


Caco

500N
26th Feb 2013, 23:59
Tanker

Tongues ?

Don't laugh but people fight over it in this country :O
Aboriginals of course but they drool when you have
a tongue to give them !

Seldomfitforpurpose
27th Feb 2013, 00:14
Thinking of cryptic notes, writ large and left on the kitchen table for he who staggers home late, feeling no pain, this choice little missive greeted such a return in the wee small hours -

YOUR DINNER . . . IS IN THE DOG!

You eat his dinner :eek:

Worrals in the wilds
27th Feb 2013, 01:34
A workmate of mine is a former butcher and he said the number of oldies who'd come in and buy fillet steak for the cat but chicken necks or soup bones for themselves was astounding.

He used to ask them about it but the response never varied; 'Fluffly likes steak.' :rolleyes:

owen meaney
27th Feb 2013, 02:21
Eddie and his wife June are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Heineken and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks June.
'They're on sale, only $15 for 24 cans Eddie replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife, and so they carry
on shopping. http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/husband_down.jpg (http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/jokes/jokes_marriage.htm)
A few aisles further on along June picks up a $30 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks Eddie.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Heineken and it's half the price.'
Eddie never knew what hit him.
The next thing he heard on the supermarket PA system was: 'Cleanup on aisle 19, we have a husband down.'

Alloa Akbar
27th Feb 2013, 09:37
This could be a thread to help me in a little matter of personal dispute..

I have a neighbour who used to be a farmer. Despite now living in a quiet respectable cul-de-sac, he still insists on keeping guard dogs... 3 of them, who bark and howl their lungs out at 11 pm and 6am when he lets them out. He seem oblivious to subtle requests to shut them up, and I found myself last week feeding his dogs spicy Chorizo, marinated in Tabasco and stuffed with chillies.. In the hope of shutting up said hounds and giving them an almighty dose of the shits, hopefully all over his house. I am as yet unsure as to the success of the first attempt, however, without wishing to inflict pain and suffering on the dogs, can anyone here suggest something else I might feed them that will REALLY give them the shits, perhaps something I could administer on a weekly basis??

I could put up with the howling dogs, if I had the small crumb of comfort that his house stank like the ground sheet in a camel's tea break tent.

Thanks in anticipation

Hopeful of Leek.
:ok:

Worrals in the wilds
27th Feb 2013, 09:59
Yeah, 1080. (Just kidding, just kidding...) :E
I take it the local council hasn't been helpful? Ours are pretty good about doggie noise complaints, if only to stop fed up people using the above option.

Alloa Akbar
27th Feb 2013, 10:00
Local council is about as much use as directions in the desert.. :(

1080 you say...??? :E

MagnusP
27th Feb 2013, 10:01
Alloa, move his dogs into YOUR garden, and see how HE likes the noise. :p

TWT
27th Feb 2013, 10:05
I'd feed them cabbage and beans with a bit of canned dog food chucked in to get them to eat it.

Worrals in the wilds
27th Feb 2013, 10:06
Gotcha.
Buy a Harley Davidson (you know you want to :E) and rev it every morning at 0500.
Or some geese.

Alloa Akbar
27th Feb 2013, 10:22
You boys are evil.. but cunning, I like it. However the retaliatory strike must be target specific, so I don't want to offend the other neighbours with the Harley option (As attractive as it is!!)

G-CPTN
27th Feb 2013, 10:35
A cattle farmer moved into our quiet residential area when he retired.

Every morning very early (just after dawn) he would swill-down and brush his concrete driveway using a stiff yardbroom.

That went on until he died. His tiny widow hadn't the strength to lift the broom so the neighbours regained their peace and quiet.

500N
27th Feb 2013, 10:59
Onions

and Laxatives.

Solid Rust Twotter
27th Feb 2013, 11:18
No point hurting the dogs. Not their fault. Onions are not good for them at all and can cause extreme distress.

Something a bit more short lived that they do enjoy but makes them pebble dash the area behind them is milk. Upset tummy for a couple of days and runny stools all over the place.

Fox3WheresMyBanana
27th Feb 2013, 12:28
Try ultrasound.
Example below
Deluxe Outdoor Bark Control (http://www.petstuffwarehouse.com/deluxeoutdoorbarkcontrol.aspx)

rgbrock1
27th Feb 2013, 12:51
Since part of the discussion on this thread appears to be about supermarket shopping perhaps someone can answer this question: (perhaps it's merely a US phenomena)

Why do "old" people, say those over 70, insist on grocery shopping on the weekend? They have all dog damn week to shop but they magically appear during the weekend instead. (When working people usually shop.)

As if that's not bad enough, when the oldies do go shopping on the weekend they think nothing of either mowing your ass down with a shopping cart and/or get in the way blocking the aisles.

New law. People over 70 will not grocery shop on the weekend. Failure to obey will cause the offender to receive a free one-way ticket to Florida aka, God's waiting room. Ticket(s) are non-refundable and non-redeemable.

Checkboard
27th Feb 2013, 13:12
Going out of the door to an important meeting tonight, the wife said "before you go could you give that left-over pork to the cat ?"

Just going out the door would have been sufficient for my cat. It would have been up on the table and scoffed both chicken AND pork before anyone else made it into the kitchen to stop him ...