Never fall out with the Nav ...

[CoffmanStarter]

Well it made me laugh :}

Wife wins divorce after map-reading row

A businessman whose wife divorced him after an argument about her map-reading skills failed in a legal bid to stop their marriage ending.

The ruling came even though a family judge admitted he has similar rows with his own wife.

Property investor, Mark Howell, 60, and his then wife, 51-year old Nalini, argued after getting lost on country roads while on a wine tasting trip to Burgundy in August 2011, London’s Civil Appeal Court heard.

Mrs Howell, a company director, was navigating for her husband when he said he had to stop the car because they had lost their way.

The couple then clashed over her ability to plan their route. He says the row lasted “a matter of moments”, but it formed a plank of his wife’s bid to divorce him. Judge Michael Horowitz, QC, — who confessed that he and his own wife also “argue about map reading”— granted her a decree nisi in December.

Coff.

[langleybaston]

That touches a nerve. Fortunately my wife and I [both in our seventies] have reached an accommodation after 50+ years of animated discussion.

Tricky route: the best map-reader/ navigator/ weatherman in the world navigates. The second best driver in the world drives.

Night driving: the best night driver in the world [senior management] drives. At least she can see. My role comprises check list [lights on?] and catering.

Other driving: 2 hours on, 2 hours off, modern satnav, bright red car, lights on regardless.

So far so good.

[newt]

In my house it's called Sat Nag and should always be left at home!!:ok:

[BEagle]

I understand you can download 'wife' software for certain SatNavs?

It will come up with helpful prompts such as "We should have turned right at that turning", "I don't think we're going the right way", "I meant left - didn't you understand?" and if you don't follow the directions for 2 consecutive prompts, it will simply say "If you won't listen, you can do it yourself" and will then go into 'sulk' mode - tutting and sighing at random intervals.....:hmm: Once every lunar month it will go into 'PMT' mode and will be totally unpredictable...:eek:

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a341/nw969/SLK/GPS.jpg

You Know It Makes Sense!

[diginagain]

In my house it's called Sat Nag and should always be left at home!!
While I refer to mine as the 'Sit Nag'.

But only when she's unlikely to hear me.

[clicker]

BEagle, I did'nt even need that for the first Satnav I had. If you went off the track it decided there would be a single word said by the device, "Recalculating" in a pissed off bitching betty tone and I always expected a tap on the shoulder or a rolled up newspaper to the back of the head.

[Courtney Mil]

I prefer the less formal approach. No Sat Nav, no map. Mrs CM sniffs the air and says "that way." And off we go. We always end up where we wanted to go - except in Oxford. Don't know how it works, but why should I care?

[CoffmanStarter]

Courtney ... Mrs CM clearly got here Girl Guide Nav Badge then :ok:

[Courtney Mil]

I wondered that, but she claims never to have belonged to the organisation, Coff. She is here telling me it's ESP. I wonder what that is? I'm sure some of you here may be able to explain.

[500N]

Courtney

Just put it down to "some women have it".

I have met a couple - mostly in the military - who just "had it"
when it came to Navigation. I think "spacial awareness" and
relating the small (you and where you are) to the big picture
(map, map to ground, North, the Sun) helps.

Just like some women "have it" when it comes to dance moves,
"strutting the cat walk" et al while others look like a fish floundering :O

[Fareastdriver]

My wife can't remember which way to turn when she comes out of a shop.

[Onceapilot]

At least, if all else fails, you can always eat your Nav!;)

OAP

[Wander00]

Mine just saw the article in The Times - she is still calculating the cost/benefit of taking a similar line.............

[Pontius Navigator]

Bitchin Betty in Bath pulled a cracker.

She turned me in to this road with loads of cars parks and no chance to turn round. After duly counting down she commanded 'turn right now'.

Bit tricky. At hand rail height was a stout metal rail. It was set in to a low wall across the intended route. The road descended steeply step after step. The only option was press on. 'Turn around when possible.'

The road got narrower and rounded this block of flats. Cars were now double parked and the gap narrower still. I just squeezed through as thankfully nothing was coming the other way. I often wonder if they ever consider ambulances and fire engines.

[langleybaston]

ESP is something to do with cutlery?

The ideal satnav would have, for use after the third disregard of commands, a screen shot of a teddy being flung out of a pram and suitable sound effects.

Go on Garmin, you can do it.

[Wander00]

Mrs W's most annoying trait when "navigating" is when at a junction or roundabout expostulating "that way, I think" with a vague wave of the arm. Not too good on the difference between left and right either! But being a "Leo" she is always "right"!

[500N]

"annoying trait when "navigating" is when at a junction or roundabout expostulating "that way, I think" with a vague wave of the arm."

Yes, you have to love that.

[langleybaston]

train them to cry thus:

"my side" or

"your side or

"on, on",

or "STOPPPP"


it works if you reward them with a choccy or something during training, or a timely tap on the moist nose.

She hasn't got my password, has she?

[Dendmar]

I'm still looking for the 'bear' on the left/right! Anyone else seen it?

[Gemini Twin]

It might have been a badger Dendmar.

[ShyTorque]

My "nav" usually takes her "nav" kit with her.....


http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y290/shytorque/Two-In-One-Travel-Kit-Inflatable-U-Neck-Pillows-Eye-Mask-TF141N-_zps72c4d6d9.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

ST ... IFR Nav ... very clever :D

[alisoncc]

I have met a couple - mostly in the military - who just "had it" when it came to Navigation. I think "spacial awareness" and relating the small (you and where you are) to the big picture (map, map to ground, North, the Sun) helps.Never had any problems getting around in the UK, Europe or even the States. Always seemed to be able to point a car in the correct direction. But driving around Oz, NZ and South Africa, guaranteed to get lost everytime I went out if I didn't do lots of pre-planning. Suspect it may be related to the Sun, having a Southern or Northern bias. Finding direction whilst driving in the UK was almost an inbuilt function. Direction of lamp post shadows and time of day would provide a pointer without even thinking about it. Doesn't work South of the Equator. :sad:

[diginagain]

Never had any problems getting around in the UK, Europe or even the States. Always seemed to be able to point a car in the correct direction. But driving around Oz, NZ and South Africa, guaranteed to get lost everytime I went out if I didn't do lots of pre-planning. Suspect it may be related to the Sun, having a Southern or Northern bias. Finding direction whilst driving in the UK was almost an inbuilt function. Direction of lamp post shadows and time of day would provide a pointer without even thinking about it. Doesn't work South of the Equator. Oddly enough, this disorientation is something I found during a spell in the Falklands.

[Easy Street]

My wife's sense of direction whilst driving is so refined that, when trying to decide which way is left, she extends the thumb and forefinger on each hand while gripping the steering wheel. The left hand conveniently spells out 'L' to show her which way to turn. You may think this endearing. I despair.

[500N]

alisoncc

Places I have been to, even in Aus that I just can't get your bearings in
or it takes a few trips to sort out.

Other places / cities even dead flat areas where you can't see the
horizon, no problem whatsoever.

Haven't worked out what it is either.

[500N]

East Streets post made me think so
here is a question for you all.

In our family, my father and I have no problems navigating.
Father is LEFT handed, I am LEFT footed.
Brother so so at Navigating, mother awful.
Both are righties !!!


I would like to know if anyone thinks being a lefty
in anything helps.

[GOLF_BRAVO_ZULU]

I'm still looking for the 'bear' on the left/right! Anyone else seen it?

http://www.bearbath.co.uk/images/photos/outside-sign-1-330.jpg

In Pontius Navigator's meanderings in Bath, he may well have found it on road out to Wells.

[racedo]

SWMBO doesn't even bother especially after one day when coming from big food store she said no we have to go there pointing to one way and I duly ignored and went the correct way.

I just said "Why were we going the other way again ?" and got an "Oh".

Time and again with no Sat Nag I have managed to find my way into and out of places such that now it now gets left alone. :E

[Pontius Navigator]

My old man was a professional navigator. Could go round the world with a sextant, tables and dividers. In a car it was something else.

He got an Irish driving licence (no test) and would set off in the general direction of Ashby-de-la-Zouche. Some hours later ADLZ would seem to have passed us by, then, spying a sign he would charge off to ADLZ. Time later, still not there, but assiduously heading for ADLZ the penny dropped.

Having passed ALDZ he had forgotten that he was supposed to go to the next town.

[diginagain]

I've had a few Aircrewmen like that....

[tartare]

Mrs T specialises in sitting in the passengers front seat of the Vulvo and calling out `turn' instructions with no warning.
At these times I often quietly drift into Walter Mitty land and imagine what we'd be like as a crew in a fast jet with her in the back seat, at a coupla hundred knots and a coupla hundred feet on a nav-ex somewhere...

[500N]

"Turn"

"Where"

"Er, that valley about 5 kms back" :O

[Canadian Break]

So, I give her the map - sitting in the back seat of course - from where she drives and the instructions consist of turn....watch OR turn....no watch. It's the only way she can do the left and right bit - poor dear! If she forgets to wear her watch we are, as they say, screwed. :E

[WarmandDry]

Nav Leader on a certain sqn in the far north took the family in their car by ferry to Norway. They arrived in darkness, some time, and many mile/km later his wife remarked "isn't the sun coming up on the wrong side of the car"

[SASless]

Me Mum turns 94 this July....and just less than a year ago she totaled her car. That was the way we got her to stop driving finally. She did in a young man's car....then....in a separate event returned to the scene of that collision and ran down the wooden utility pole at the same intersection saying her brakes were not working.....but I digress.

I now play the "Driving Miss Daisy" role....as the Driver. God Help me but the guy who wrote that Screen Play knew my Mother.

Arm wave Nav.....is naught for Mom.

One day I was informed we were off to a small town about two hours away to visit two of her nursing school friends. One was in a Nursing Home in one town....and the second was in a Nursing Home in a second near by town. I allowed a fit of Dumbass hit me....and did not get the details of the two places assuming Mom knew where they were. Remember....it is two small towns we are talking of here.

Sum total of the one was....."It is just off the main road through town!". No...it wasn't...and there are more than one "main roads" now. Of course she did not have the address, phone number, or name of the place. Now....walk into a local convenience store (after an hours drive all over said small town) and asking if there was a nursing home in the area....to be asked.....yes...."Which one you looking for?".

I bagged that one....and proceeded to our next stop....to visit with my Niece. Who of course was not home. Odd, Mom did not tell the Niece we were coming as of course she would be home. Home on a work day at lunch time? Now who would think? Stroke of luck....said Niece did drop by quite by accident.

Niece knew the address for the elusive Nursing Home....and also the second one we were to visit. A quick phone call to the next place was a real time saver....the old Women had died two years before thus we could skip that stop.

My second attack of Dumb Ass was to attempt to do a Post Trip De-Brief with my Mom. That accomplished nothing!

I do so look forward to these outings with my Mom.....which I rate right up there with Root Canals and chewing Tin Foil!

[thing]

I'm a bit right/left dyslexic. I remember when I was doing my instrument approach training shooting a PAR and the GC was saying 'Left 5 degrees' and I was correcting right which of course compounded the error. I now hold up my hands in similar situations and say out loud 'This is my left hand I need to turn in the direction of this hand.' This assumes of course that I'm holding up the correct hand in the first place.

I organised a Sqdn treasure hunt one year. As you can imagine it was a total disaster as I think my instructions for the second road junction were to turn right when it should have been left which then totally bolloxed the rest of the directions. People were still coming back hours later.

On the other hand mrs thing is like a homing pigeon. We can visit a totally strange town, park the car, walk around for an hour or two (I'm lost after the first turning) and then when we decide to return to the car she says 'Turn right here, second left. third right, through the traffic lights and we'll be at the car park'. She's never wrong.

Edit: I'm also one of those saddos that looses his car in the supermarket car park. I went to the NEC once to an exhibition (oddly enough!) and it took me over an hour to find my car when I left. You try and hide it though don't you, sort of saunter around in a 'I haven't lost my car, no actually I'm walking in a purposeful manner somewhere' way.

[oldmansquipper]

In my Teutonic Tank we have choices:

C1. No electronic options, I make all the routing decisions based on memory dump. This is known as PratNav :\

C2. Built in system which modifies national borders at will and insists "Turn right" followed closely by "YOU VILL TURN RIGHT!!" Known as NazNav.:E

and

C3. An aged TomTom with HM the Q installed as the `voice`. This is the preferred option as its the only voice my good lady will not argue with...

;)

[Bus14]

Just checked my log book: JP3, JP5, Hawk, Hunter, Harrier, Jaguar, Lightning. Funny old thing, I never fell out with the Nav.

And then I got married...

[ExAscoteer]

Dear gods the neanderthal sexism on this thread beggars bloody belief.

Then again, I guess the piss stained old farts here are probably stuck in the early Middle Ages. :rolleyes:

[GreenKnight121]

Or they are actually accurately describing their actual experiences, and you have the "sexism" thing so deeply programmed into your grey matter that you simply automatically think everything anyone says is 'sexist"... even if it is merely "hello".



Much like the time another Sgt (of very dark skin) and I were discussing the attitude of some officers that their commission not only makes them automatically correct 100% of the time, but that it also makes them morally, spiritually, and intellectually superior to all enlisted persons without exception.

The Hispanic corporal in the office, coming in on the end of the conversation and not seeing with whom I was conversing, began a tirade accusing me of racist comments. She did have the grace to blush when the other Sgt leaned out and read her the riot act about assumptions and jumping to contusions (as that is often the result of incorrect accusations of misconduct).


Please switch your outrage function from "always on" to "activate only on actual evidence".

[Hydromet]

"No," she says, we won't need the TomTom, "I know the way."

Approaching a T intersection - only options to turn left or right - I ask "Left or right?" Answer: "Straight ahead" Me: "We can only go left or right - which is it?" Her: "Straight ahead." Me (with increasing urgency): "We can't go straight ahead - do we go LEFT or RIGHT?" Her: "Straight ahead"
Mentally tossing a coin, I turned right. Me: "Is this the right way?" Her: "Yes, that's what I said, straight ahead."

And she thought I was being unreasonable to stop and plug in the TomTom.

[CoffmanStarter]

At least the TomTom/Garmin comes with the useful On/Off button ... :oh:

[5aday]

On some of my European forays I drive a merc sprinter towing a trailer and the total length is longer than an average bus (40ft). As my trailer reversing skills are not the best, the ability to turn round and go back is limited to roundabouts or motorway junctions which on the peages can be 30 miles or more.
The sprinter has an elderly garmin built in and the sound is relayed over loud speakers in the cab but it has never been updated in 12 years so it doesn't know the latest roads etc. It has a male voice.
I now have an up to date Tom Tom which uses a female voice. The garmin invariably starts all the arguments and on long journeys its a source of amusement listening to the pair of them arguing. Sometimes I select foreign languages such as German or French to listen to the arguments and so as to hone my linguistic skills. One of the funny commands both of them agree on, and that amuses me , is when I drive from Paris to Barcelona area and they both say "Drive 610 miles and then turn left" and then they seem to go to sleep for the two days the journey takes me ( at 55 mph it's a long trip and I take my time as well ) The Irish female voice on the Tom Tom is quite nice when its all going ok but gets a bit of a strop and adopts attitude when you deviate from 'her' route. The garmin directions will turn you into a ploughed field if you let it and loses signal very easily in cities. They all do that but it's the recovery that is so slow from high rise buildings in cities and tunnels on the garmin but the Tom Tom is quite rapid.
Her indoors is a reasonable driver but in terms of directions marginally useless but my youngest daughter is a stellar navigator and seems to have a mentally inbuilt compass.
Dave

[CoffmanStarter]

5aday ... I can relate to that ... Mrs CS will self admit that "navigation" is not a skill she has ... We're as my daughter (24) is first class with map, compass, gps etc and can hold a mental picture of the route being taken ... at least I contributed something in the DNA :ok:

[Wensleydale]

My mother was hopeless at navigation - she had no sense of direction at all but despite this, she always insisted upon doing the navigation herself from the LHS.

I remember when I was but a child and we were returning to Yorkshire from a holiday in Scotland and travelling along the A66 from Penrith towards the A1 at Scotch Corner. The junction was a roundabout in those days and, as always, had a long queue of traffic. Having waited for well over an hour in the traffic jam, we finally reached the roundabout. "Thank the Lord for that" said my father - and then my mother directed him left off the roundabout to head up the A1 North!

Her excuse at the subsequent heated debrief in the next one hour queue of traffic back to the roundabout was, "we always go home up the A1 north".

I blame my father for listening to her.

[BEagle]

Then there's the stubborn reluctance to accept fact....

A friend of mine insists she once drove from Salisbury to Leicester University in an hour and a half. Now that's 148 miles, requiring an average speed of 98.7 mph. Autoroute reckons on about 2hr 20 min.

"Surely mean two and a half hours?"
"Are you calling me a liar?"

:rolleyes:

Even an impatient driver like her, who once claimed that it was 'impossible' to drive at 30 mph on a road where she'd been pinched for doing 40 mph, couldn't possibly manage a 99 mph average for 90 min in an diseasel Vauxhall Astra estate on the A303/A34/M40/A43/M1.....:\

German SatNavs are indeed something else! A few years ago, a car a colleague and I once hired at Hamburg airport had one of those, with a female voice. It was quite polite initially "In dreihundert Metern, biegen Sie bitte rechts ab", but became more insistent until eventually screeching "JETZT RECHT!!" like some whip-wielding, leather-clad Brunhilde in a Hamburg dungeon (I would imagine...:eek:). I half expected "You haff been a very naughty boy - now ve must punish you!" to come next, but instead there was a pause, followed by rather a pouting "Wiederberechnung" in one of those "You've always got to know best" voices....

[keesje]

langleybaston, a pragmatic approach should be after 50 yrs

mrs K has a left / right issue but thank god there mr. GPS

About Nav's:

Navigator's gag amuses plane-spotters as fighter jet races through Snowdonia | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1289185/Navigators-gag-amuses-plane-spotters-fighter-jet-races-Snowdonia.html)

could be a girl?

[Rather be Gardening]

Re the left-handed, right-handed skills. My bro is left-handed and only has to do a journey once to be able to remember it. I'm right-handed and can do a journey ten times and still have trouble remembering all the turns. I don't have any trouble navigating from a map, or from following a list of a route.

I have this theory it's something to do with spatial awareness - he knows where he is in the landscape context. Turn me round twice, and I am lost.

[Exascot]

Mrs Ascot with mother in law navigating was told to turn left at next roundabout and dutifully did so. 'Not that left dear, the next one'.

Boss on check ride with crusty old nav was given top of climb checks without being asked. Nav was told in no uncertain terms not to give anything without being asked. Entering the hold, 'drift nav'. 'Five' came back the reply. - Morale of story; never fall out with your nav.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Ask partner if she wants to drive or navigate every time.
If she picks drive, then choose a route that's easy to direct so has minimal interruptions to her conversation.
If navigate, then memorise the route. She will happily chat for the whole trip, and of course you are never interrupting her!

This, of course, presumes you can actually navigate!

[CoffmanStarter]

Exascot ... M-in-L Nav ... That's a whole different area of pain :uhoh:

[clicker]

Thing, I presume you found it when it was the only car left in the car park?

Talking about foreign voices, I remembered my friends daughter (then 12) was learning Chinese and Spanish at school. I got asked to take here somewhere when her dad was working so I changed the voice to Chinese. Mandarin.

After a couple of chuckles she started to tell me what it was saying. I gave up.

[clicker]

Now this is one nav all of us need to aviod contact with.

Belgian woman, 67, picking up her friend from railway station ends up in Zagreb 900 miles away after satnav disaster | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2262149/Belgian-woman-67-picking-friend-railway-station-ends-Zagreb-900-miles-away-satnav-disaster.html)

[CoffmanStarter]

Clicker ... So much for Mental DR then :E

[lj101]

could be a girl?

Most definitely was not - buggered his career for a while too.

[Rocket2]

My sister in law was due to take her mother to the local hospital (no more than 1/2 mile up the road) for a check up - she ended up at Salisbury - some 40 miles away, apparently the name of the hospital was similar & it was all Tom Tom's fault, yeah right.... :ooh:

[BEagle]

Most definitely was not - buggered his career for a while too.

Why? Was the pilot the Sqn Cdr or some other wheel, or what?

Seemed pretty harmless to me....:hmm:

And as for could be a girl?, all the female navigators with whom I've ever worked have been very good. 'Stupid' would probably have been lucky indeed if the back seater had actually been female.

[lj101]

Why? Was the pilot the Sqn Cdr or some other wheel, or what?

I worked with him when he was on the OEU as a Flt Lt and when I bumped into him again a couple of years later, was surprised he hadn't been picked up in rank. His reply was to relate that incident - and that's why he hadn't been.

Haven't seen him for a while so no idea as to his latest status.

The girls did a lot better than the chaps (on average) in their nav aptitude tests apparently; and much worse than the chaps (on average) for pilot. :{

[Courtney Mil]

buggered his career for a while too

How completely ridiculous. Perhaps someone thinks that image brought the RAF's professionalism into disrepute. What has the Force become?

[Pontius Navigator]

"Are you calling me a liar?"

As the locum 1771 signer I was presented with two 1771s by the two sgts at the same unit.

Both journeys were to Waddo at the same time. One claimed 30 miles in 30 minutes and the other had a more realistic time and a different distance. Ostensibly they were travelling from different places.

What they didn't know was that I knew they both lived near each other in my wife's home town. :}

Had they just fired up the GPS they could have had a choice of times and distances.

[langleybaston]

Quote: Dear gods the neanderthal sexism on this thread beggars bloody belief.

When I was young it was "Ye Gods" [Latin] but passing lightly by, I showed my wife the thread and of course my contribution. Well received.

Life can be sh1tty enough without a good laugh. Its called "give and take", and the fair sex can dish it out in much more subtle ways.

Beans on toast again tonight. And last night. And toast at breakfast. Can't remember lunch, its in the twilight zone between recent and ancient memory.

Something gave me wind, though.

[clicker]

LB, shame you were not able to forecast that result.

[langleybaston]

Clicker: forecasting? No longer in my job description.

On retirement:

RAF pass
fircone, one
seaweed, bunch
ball, crystal

all surrendered.

[Pontius Navigator]

. . . and chewing Tin Foil!

My eyes are still streaming. I'd just taken a mouthful of tea and you caused it to go down the wrong way.

[Pontius Navigator]

I'm also one of those saddos that looses his car in the supermarket car park. I went to the NEC once to an exhibition (oddly enough!) and it took me over an hour to find my car when I left..

or airport?

We arrived in the dark, rain sleeting, bundled out of the car and legged it to the shuttle stop.

Two weeks later, where was the ticket with the bus stop details?

It was one of those car parks with zones A-Z and then some. Fortunately was a. Daylight and b. We had parked back to a boundary hedge.

As we were driven around the car park the bus emptied and we got into a wilderness with neery a car in sight. Mrs PN had an idea of the zone and eventually there it was in splendid isolation.

As you say, the wives may get lost when driving but they can always find the car.

[500N]

PN

"As you say, the wives may get lost when driving
but they can always find the car."

That is a very true statement, noticed it on the weekend.

[BEagle]

Beans is not an occifer's vegetable!

Some gentle banter about SatNav is, of course, just banter. I'm sure that there's equally a 'macho bloke' voice which the girls could download. The sort of thing which announces "Of course it's this way", "Let's just GO!", "It'll be somewhere around here..." and that sort of thing. But it won't admit when it's lost, so follow it at your peril. Whereas at least the 'girlie' one can be re-booted by typing in "Choccie?" if it starts sulking or, for a quicker re-boot, "I'm sorry - where would you like to go for dinner, darling?".....:hmm:

Re. aptitude tests, the girls we had at the UAS didn't do those, so were either so hopelessly dreadful that they should never be trusted to command a wheelbarrow, let alone a mechanically-propelled vehicle such as a bicycle - which was very rare indeed, or they would always try to do better on the next trip. Much more fun to fly with than many of the lads - and not just because they washed their flying suits more than once a year and didn't smell of minging BO and stale beer, but also because they listened to what they'd been taught.

[Pontius Navigator]

Much more fun to fly with than many of the lads - and not just because they washed their flying suits more than once a year and didn't smell of minging BO

Very true.

To cut the story short, our Co was eventually so rank that no one would sit near him and we even made him change his flying boots apparently from the smell emanating from the hole in the sole.

Eventually he discovered the leg of chicken that he had stuffed in his pocket when the QRA hooter had sounded. I think it crawled out on its own.

I hope you've had your tea. :)

[Courtney Mil]

I hope you've had your tea.

One has tea in the morning or, sometimes, at 4 in the afternoon, maybe with a small fairy cake.

[CoffmanStarter]

Battenberg cake with tea old chap ... no fairy cakes in the RAF :ok:

[alisoncc]

No dear. It's a fly pie from the NAAFI van.

[BEagle]

One has tea in the morning or, sometimes, at 4 in the afternoon, maybe with a small fairy cake.

Quite so - only the working class and them 'as born oop 'North' would have 'dinner' before 'tea'.

Tea in Winter- a little Earl Grey and a couple of buttered crumpets, then a slice of Victoria sponge.

Tea in Summer - a little Earl Grey and some Patum Peperium thinly spread on toast, or perhaps some cucumber sandwiches.

Memories of life in a bygone, rather more gentlemanly era, I regret to say....

[500N]

BEagle

What about the G&T as a refreshing drink ? :O


Though I do like your choices so far :ok:

(I haven't heard of Patum Peperium for years,
I think that was what my Grandfather had and
where I acquired the taste for it).

[SASless]

Whisky and clothes-less crumpets sounds better don't you think?:uhoh:

[Herod]

Get a pair of these, tell sat-nag to keep her shoes off and her feet on the dashboard.

http://i494.photobucket.com/albums/rr302/peter46/Socks_zpsbcc8362c.jpg

[500N]

SaSless

Don't knock fluffy dice hanging from the Rear vision mirror.
A dead giveaway :O

[BEagle]

What about the G&T as a refreshing drink ?

Not before 1800! Any earlier would be decidedly uncivilised, except perhaps at the weekend before Sunday luncheon.

[CoffmanStarter]

500N ... Gentlemen's Relish can be obtained from those fine purveyors Waitrose ... I bought some yesterday :ok:

BEagle ... I'm sure you will agree that High Tea can only be served on fine bone china to be correct :ok:

[500N]

Coffman

Thanks. Being in Australia we don't have Waitrose but
just did a search on line and some places have the same
or similar.

I actually make my own from Anchovies.
I should experiment more.


"fine bone china"

Minton China :ok:

[Pontius Navigator]

Get a pair of these, tell sat-nag to keep her shoes off and her feet on the dashboard.

http://i494.photobucket.com/albums/rr302/peter46/Socks_zpsbcc8362c.jpg
Nike make some too. Got Mrs PN two pairs on Black Mac's Track a couple of years ago..

[CoffmanStarter]

Herod, PN ...

Perhaps a pair of these as well to cover every eventuality :)

http://www.keeperofthelight.net/uploads/6/7/2/2/6722317/8932843_orig.jpg?82

[thing]

Thing, I presume you found it when it was the only car left in the car park? Nope, just stumbled upon it in a place I would have never have said it was. It was about 400 yds away from where I thought I'd parked it and I just did a circular search. Took a long time though....

[BEagle]

BEagle ... I'm sure you will agree that High Tea can only be served on fine bone china to be correct :ok:

I do not. While one may indeed take afternoon tea from bone china, itself a mere accessory, 'high' tea is a working class meal, presumably served in a 'sweaty clog' when Dad 'gets 'ome from 't mill'...:hmm:

Regrettably, the lower orders from other nations do not understand the difference between afternoon tea and high tea, so certain London establishments now feel obliged to describe the afternoon event as 'high' tea for the benefit of foreign tourists. Quite appalling.....

[newt]

I agree Beagle. What is the world coming to? :ok:

[500N]

Just what we need for parking and retrieving a car in the
shopping centre car park.

A car that parks itself !!!

Biertijd.com // Media » CES 2013 - Audi Piloted Driving (http://biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=39089)

[CoffmanStarter]

BEagle ... Clearly I'm unworthy :uhoh:

Note to self ... Have working class roots bleached again ... :}

[5aday]

Anybody downloaded other voices for their systems? I believe there is a website with voices such as Billy Conolley but I don't know how to go about it.

ps. If the French Police ever try to stop you, they will assume your gps includes speed camera data and will confiscate it and ask you to pay a fine. Instantly or at the nearest ATM. It is a difficult defence to say the function is switched off as they retreat from the previous position of speaking reasonable English.

[CoffmanStarter]

I tried Yoda for a while on my TomTom ... "turning left you are" ... "use the force" etc. :ok:

[mad_jock]

One of the lads had an up load a Kevin bloody wilson Voice on his.

I would suspect though as it is more "blue" than having the ginger jock MTO as wagon commander the better half wouldn't appreciate it.

[SASless]

Beags.....so where does "Tea and Stickies" fit into the Tea Order of things?

[clicker]

Did notice that on that self parking car clip that the car did'nt have to pick up a car park ticket or pay at a barrier.

And if the car gets bored in the car park does it go off for a drive on its own?

On a more serious note though I would not let the car go off on its own and out of sight. What if the system fails, how would you find your car if you did'nt know where it parked itself?

[500N]

BEagle

"Not before 1800! Any earlier would be decidedly uncivilised, except perhaps at the weekend before Sunday luncheon"

I don't think word filtered down to the colonials :O

[SASless]

Errrrrr......you suggesting our liking of Saltwater Tea is a bit crass?:E

[langleybaston]

Gentleman's Relish!

Friday breakfast ritual ........

soft-boiled egg[s]
seasoned to taste
white bread
slightly salted butter
and Gentleman's Relish [GR] on the remaining bread.

Two mugs of tea.

Ready for anything.

[Was it Brize mess where the choices at 4PM tea included GR and Sandwich Spread? From the sublime to the ridiculous IMHO]

[Courtney Mil]

And, if you like your spread a little les salty, but slightly more fishy, you could try Poacher's Relish, by the same manufacturer.

[langleybaston]

Thanks, will give it a go. Waitrose I hope?

[brickhistory]

I don't think word filtered down to the colonials


Tea (excepting ice cold Southern sweet tea, of course!) is for when I'm sick and snuffly.

Fitting, perhaps...

[brakedwell]

Thanks. Being in Australia we don't have Waitrose but
just did a search on line and some places have the same
or similar.

If you are feeling homesick how a big jar of Marmite and a packet of Woodbines?

[Canadian Break]

John Cleese, classic " bear left, beaver right"!:ok:

[Pontius Navigator]

If you are feeling homesick how a big jar of Marmite and a packet of Woodbines?

Convert to Vegemite.

[sisemen]

The old crow that I was once married to was also an RAF officer and she could navigate. However, when I drove (which was most of the time) I did like an overall impression of the route (liken it to a flight briefing if you will) but she insisted on keeping me completely in the bloody dark and went into an exceptionally foul mood if I even dared to ask to look at the map.

Hopefully some poor downtrodden sod is suffering at her hands as we speak. I would have hated to have had all that angst to my self. :E

[NutLoose]

Could you not have pointed out Sea Vixen Nav's operated in a small dark compartment and shoved her in the boot?


tell sat-nag to keep her shoes off and her feet on the dashboard

Won't that cause an awful amount of drag?

[Wensleydale]

Could you not have pointed out Sea Vixen Nav's operated in a small dark
compartment and shoved her in the boot?


This is the test of which is more loyal - the wife or the dog. The test is to lock each of them into the rear of your car while you go and do something else and then return after 5 hours. Which one will be really welcoming and pleased to see you?

[ZuluMike]

I always out-navigate the wife. But I do have the advantage that road signs are, as we know, always only 'advisory for aircrew'.