View Full Version : A topic truly worthy of the intellectual rigours that JB'ers can bring to bear !!

22nd Feb 2013, 09:17
Norway split down the middle on how to stack firewood following programme featuring an eight hour live shot of a fireplace | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2282337/Norway-split-middle-stack-firewood-following-programme-featuring-hour-live-shot-fireplace.html)

I expect a flaming contribution from gingernut and I'm sure Loose Rivets will tell us how it was done in Frinton in the 50's

22nd Feb 2013, 09:37
Possibly depends on the wood? If it is fully dried you can stack it as close as you like, but if it is still a bit 'green' then by all means leave some gaps for the air to circulate and dry it, to a good for burning state. Personally I like to keep some 'green' Wood as I like to stack up my log burner at bedtime and find it just burnt through by the morning!

Arm out the window
22nd Feb 2013, 09:39
Make sure it's stacked with the long axis horizontal, not vertical, otherwise it falls over.:ok:

Lon More
22nd Feb 2013, 09:40
The show was inspired by the book Solid Wood

Maybe this belongs in the porn--star thread?

22nd Feb 2013, 10:29
Depends on whether you expect the moisture to vaporise (bark down) or drip (bark up), I guess. :8

22nd Feb 2013, 10:51
Stack your wood artistically


Erwin Schroedinger
22nd Feb 2013, 11:30
The show was inspired by the book Solid Wood: All About Chopping, Drying and Stacking Wood - and the Soul of Wood-Burning, by Lars Mytting, which spent more than a year on the Norwegian non-fiction bestseller list.

Does anyone know if there's a Kindle version?

22nd Feb 2013, 12:06

Oh dear :uhoh:

If you are trying to burn wood that has enough wetness to actually drip, I fear that the pipe in your wall will never get warm enough to thaw :O

Burnt Fishtrousers
22nd Feb 2013, 12:40
This followed last years hysterical national debate on how to load your dishwasher.

A little known Norweigen authour plagurised the instructions of the Bosch Avantixx SMS40A ( in silver) which became a best seller in 4 Scandinavian languages

Apparently in Trondheim the debate reached fever pitch as to whether glasses and plastic should be placed on the top section or not, to such an extent, there were scuffles in local bars as a result.

tony draper
22nd Feb 2013, 12:51
The best wood to burn has been drying for 200 million years, it's called coal.:rolleyes:

22nd Feb 2013, 13:07
When the French closed a lot of their coal mines "Oop North," instead of laying off a lot of the staff they gave them civil service jobs dealing with vehicles and transport, but still called it the 'Département Mines'.
That is probably why it seems to take 200 million years for them to respond to anything.

22nd Feb 2013, 14:54
I was going to write about something along the lines of our respective governments' gestapo policies over the past 50-60 years of making unaffordable even the most basic "2 up, 2 down" terraced housing with chimney and small garden. Instead, herding their citizens into ever tinier flats without any chimneys and totally-reliant on electricity and gas for their heating requirements. The "gestapo" and their mostly wealthier supporters, laughing almost uncontrollably as they throw another few logs onto their hearths (however they were originally stacked). What more simpler and eco method of also disposing of all the unwanted publicity that gets shoved through the letterboxes, the food-packaging, newspapers, magazines etc. Darling, can you imagine how so many people have to sort their own garbage, put them in separate bins for disposal etc.?!

But that was before I'd already decided that this afdternoon for once, being a Friday, I'd endeavour to be more frivilous than usual. :ok:

Lon More
22nd Feb 2013, 15:01
You could make briquettes (http://blackhilltales.********.nl/2010/01/truth-about-making-fuel-briquettes-from.html) from old paper. Don't find it worthwhile as I have a plentiful supply of free wood, two stacks, one under cover, so can put dry wood on most of the time and "green" when I go to bed.

22nd Feb 2013, 15:07
I used to cut all of my firewood, but now the trees are all gone and I'm cold.
:E f

22nd Feb 2013, 15:30
I'm quite fussy about stacking, in that I like it to look quite 'neat' I'm the stacker, and hubby is the chain saw(er) and chopper.

WE have two wood sheds, one large...ish (approx 12' long, 7' high and 6' deep), and the other smaller one is nearer to the house with the most seasoned wood in.

I always leave space for the air to circulate, even when they have been seasoned to buggery outside for a couple of years. We;re are lucky in that we are self sufficient in wood, and when we acquired the woods, they hadn't been managed for years, consequetly we have plenty of chopped down crappy trees (the very very tall spindly ash trees that struggle for light, etc), Plus we had a 100+ yr old Beech tree fall down naturally, which supplied us with a good stack of wood.

Bark up or down? Makes no difference to me. The woods burns beautifully.

22nd Feb 2013, 17:11
Actually when I posted this, I was thinking much more about the strangeness of having eight hours of live TV just showing a burning stove drawing such a huge audience.

22nd Feb 2013, 17:24
I have often sat (or laid) staring into the glow of a fire - the flames emit from various parts of the fuel, sometimes at some distance from the solid material.

Coal can produce 'blow' (where gas is emitted under pressure before becoming a visible flame) and the flickering seen in a dying fire can be quite impressive.

No fire is identical with any other, just like snowflakes and waves are unique, and it really is entertaining to watch the evolving fire producing different sights (and sounds).

I don't know whether I would choose to watch it on TV, but live fire is fascinating to observe.

22nd Feb 2013, 18:13
This followed last years hysterical national debate on how to load your dishwasher.

The inability to load a dishwasher is now an identifiable disorder -


Gazing into an open fire is something that deeply and atavistically
appeals to the caveman and the cavewoman in us. For the same reason that the wind in the trees and the waves crashing on the shore through the night are pleasing sounds, so so incomparable to any rasping, roaring Harley hooning up the highway.

. . . or even the intrusive ticking of a clock or dripping of a tap.

.. . . . . and while on about it . . . . . shutta uppa that damn bouzouki.

22nd Feb 2013, 18:20
When I visited family over Christmas (in British Columbia) one of their cable networks had a channel devoted to a fireplace. None of this stacking, drying and building rubbish - just a long looped tape of a fire.

It was actually quite relaxing ...

22nd Feb 2013, 19:56
Shades of the potter's wheel and the test card also......

22nd Feb 2013, 20:34

22nd Feb 2013, 20:44
I'm so worried about what's happenin' today, in the middle east, you know
And I'm worried about the baggage retrieval system they've got at Heathrow
I'm so worried about the fashions today, I don't think they're good for your feet
And I'm so worried about the shows on TV that sometimes they want to repeat

and worried that Danes and Nords and Swedes
chop down all those trees for heat
swelter in saunas then race about naked
out in the snow and sleet

22nd Feb 2013, 20:48
I'm rather worried about Jim . . .

22nd Feb 2013, 20:50
race about naked out in the snow and sleet
sure. One of the top pleasures imaginable. :cool: