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under_exposed
22nd Apr 2002, 16:41
MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's eclipse coverage
remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each
other and he's come in his shorts."

HERE is Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his
caddie Fanny

Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks
Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it
by himself."

ULRIKA Jonsson was a humble GMTV weathergirl talking about
snowfall when she revealed: "I had a good eight inches last
night."

LORRAINE Kelly on GMTV: "This year's hairstyle is called a
shag and our resident stylist is here to give our model
one."

MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky
Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every
chance he gets."

Richard Whiteley asking Carol Vorderman to display a word
on Countdown: "Ah, 'erection', let's see it up please
Carol."

DAVID Dickinson, talking about an antique door-knocker on
Bargain Hunt, said to expert Nigel Smith: "You're a bit of
a knockers man." "Yes" he replied.
"I've come across quite a few in my time."

HERE is Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire
winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising
fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil
Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

BEATRICE Hillyer was discussing the availability of fresh
water in Baghdad when she informed TVam viewers: "Just
after the liberation, I was getting it twice a day in my
hotel room."

CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v
Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe:
"With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix,
asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside
by Barrichello?"

Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt
much better today after a 69."

STEVE Cram covering the men's 200 metres at the World
Athletics Championships: "Pumping away, Marlon Devonish has
got the Olympic champion inside him."

CHAIN Letters host Allan Stewart was discussing a 6ft 5in
contestant called Richard when he told two women
competitors: "That's enough Dick for both of
you."

EXPERT David Batty was examining a bowl with a
pineapple-shaped lid on Antiques Roadshow when he
exclaimed: "This is the most magical, wonderful
knob I have ever seen."

BEST TILL LAST

CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the
Middle Ages on Time Team Live said:
"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

DuckDogers
22nd Apr 2002, 17:02
Do any of the commentries from the twelth man count count? If they do then how about this one:

Tony Greig: I think the Sri Lankans are appealing for the light

Bill Lawry: What the **** are you talking about Tony, the lights have been turned on for the last hour.

Tony Greig: I've been turned on myself by the sight of these little Sri Lankans in there dark blue uniforms. Australia too looking pretty smart in their Canary Yellow.

Bill Lawry: CanaryYellow!!! That Australian Gold my friend and don't you ****ing forget it!

For more got

www.thetwelthman.com.au

Wedge
22nd Apr 2002, 21:50
And of course the Brian Johnston Classic (which he claimed was unintentional)

"Welcome to the Oval to the England v West Indies test match, where the bowler's Holding the batsman's Willey"

:D