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Lord Spandex Masher
19th Feb 2013, 23:52
So knives, let's ban kitchen knives.

Yes it's from 2005 but I think the logic is still valid.

BBC NEWS | Health | Doctors' kitchen knives ban call (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4581871.stm)

The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all.

They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.

None of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed...

The researchers said a short pointed knife may cause a substantial superficial wound if used in an assault - but is unlikely to penetrate to inner organs.

The study found links between easy access to domestic knives and violent assault are long established.

So the chances of surviving a knife wound are inversely proportional to the length of the blade.

BenThere
19th Feb 2013, 23:54
Anyone ever cut a steak with a Q-tip?

Lord Spandex Masher
19th Feb 2013, 23:57
A good steak, cooked well doesn't need a sharp knife.

owen meaney
19th Feb 2013, 23:59
Spoons are soon to be banned
BBC NEWS | UK | England | Beds/Bucks/Herts | Man cleared of murder with spoon (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/beds/bucks/herts/3857567.stm)

500N
20th Feb 2013, 00:01
What do they call short and long ?

How do you cut up a full lettuce, cauliflower
with a short knife without making a hash of it ?

Or a block of meat ?

Matari
20th Feb 2013, 00:01
I love the whole 'no reason for 'X' to be available to the public' argument.

One imagines an eventual Ministry of Unreasonable Things, where bureaucrats sit in large rooms analyzing everyday objects, and making serious determinations as to what we poor rubes should reasonably own or not.

It is coming, folks. I can see Lord Spandex as first Minister.

Lord Spandex Masher
20th Feb 2013, 00:02
Who need spoons? I think you need to show full justification for carrying a spoon in public.

Lord Spandex Masher
20th Feb 2013, 00:03
What do they call short and long ?

How do you cut up a full lettuce, cauliflower
with a short knife without making a hash of it ?

Or a block of meat ?

You buy ready chopped stuff. I've always rejected that idea as lazy but as it is safer in general I will be doings so in the future.

Lord Spandex Masher
20th Feb 2013, 00:06
Short is less than 3". No chance of getting to vital organs with that.

Hydromet
20th Feb 2013, 00:16
They may not be vital to you, LSM, but certain organs that I consider vital could easily be reached by a 3" or shorter knife.:rolleyes:

500N
20th Feb 2013, 00:17
A 3" knife is useless for anything except maybe dicing carrots.

I couldn't survive without at least some 6" blades,
especially with any "field" work - ie hunting.


LSM
You had better make sure what you have is legal
and can't hurt anyone, can't have legal knives
drawing blood. :O

500N
20th Feb 2013, 00:19
Hydromet

You and I know that but if we tell them,
then they will make it 2" !!!


Who needs organs, the veins in the neck
and thigh are close and quick enough with
one unable to be stopped.

reynoldsno1
20th Feb 2013, 00:19
But there are lots of prepared, quick ready meals, frozen for easy storage, available in fine supermarkets everywhere. No long, pointy knives required. What's the problem?

500N
20th Feb 2013, 00:22
I gather my own meat for eating and the shops
don't sell what I like to eat.

And I was born with two hands that work
very well.

Why pay someone else to do what you can ?

Lord Spandex Masher
20th Feb 2013, 00:24
Hydromet, may I suggest that you keep your organs well protected by your cranium.

500, I thought you used **** for hunting?!

A 3" knife is useless for anything except maybe dicing carrots.

I think that may be their point. Although you shouldn't restrict yourself to just dicing carrots - try whittling a twig or cleaning your nails:ok:

Lord Spandex Masher
20th Feb 2013, 00:26
I gather my own meat for eating and the shops
don't sell what I like to eat.

And I was born with two hands that work
very well.


Try smashing a bit of flint or something similar. The edge you get is often sharper than finely honed steel. That's survival!
:ok:

500N
20th Feb 2013, 00:27
OK, got it.

They want everyone to buy prepared, ready to eat meals !


Re "I thought you used **** for hunting?!"

Also use knives, haven't you ever stuck a wild boar ?
Try it sometimes, it will get your heart rate going :O


As to a 3" knife not harmful, you'd be amazed at what a pig
with 1 - 2" tusks can do to a person.

500N
20th Feb 2013, 00:29
Re flint,

Really ?

And how do you cut through 10 - 20 feet of 1 - 2 " hide of muddy hair,
grissle and some white substance (don't know what it is) with a flint FFS ?

BenThere
20th Feb 2013, 00:31
Yep. You need a Bowie knife out there.

Lord Spandex Masher
20th Feb 2013, 00:31
Aye but that little piggy is way stronger and quicker than most men.

MREs really aren't that bad these days. Try M and S for some nice up market ones.

haven't you ever stuck a wild boar ?

Once yes...but she left early the next day and I never got her name. Regretted that I did.

Lord Spandex Masher
20th Feb 2013, 00:33
Re flint,

Really ?

And how do you cut through 10 - 20 feet of 1 - 2 " hide of muddy hair,
grissle and some white substance (don't know what it is) with a flint FFS ?

I believe you'd say fair dinkum. Might take a bit more time but hey, it's a lot safer if you do.

owen meaney
20th Feb 2013, 00:34
Some of the finest edges are from obsidean.
ONe doesn't simply smash an edge on flint, first the core is prepared and then a flake is released by indirect percussion.

Lord Spandex Masher
20th Feb 2013, 00:37
That's what I meant.

500N
20th Feb 2013, 00:40
"Once yes...but she left early the next day and I never got her name.
Regretted that I did."


LSM
Really, standards boy, standards :O


Sorry about the thread drift. To get it back on track.

This whole "ban this, ban that", "you can't do that it's dangerous"
is getting beyond a joke.
No wonder Extreme sports are so popular because kids and now
those adults from the last 10+ years have never done anything
"dangerous" or "adventurous" or pushed themselves.

Just my HO.

Lord Spandex Masher
20th Feb 2013, 00:42
500, you've been doing it wrong me old fruit!


Flint knife blades are the best*edge in the world*for field dressing game outperforming any*known steel!

Knives of Flint... hunting knives by flintknapper Stacy Reeves (http://www.knivesofflint.com/)

Standards hey? Well let's just say I lost the competition:{

brickhistory
20th Feb 2013, 01:04
Short is less than 3". No chance of getting to vital organs with that.



And that, ladies, is the difference between American men and Euros. :E

500N
20th Feb 2013, 01:19
Thanks for the link :ok:

I'll have a read.

Solid Rust Twotter
20th Feb 2013, 04:29
...No wonder Extreme sports are so popular because kids and now
those adults from the last 10+ years have never done anything
"dangerous" or "adventurous" or pushed themselves.


Sadly, even the so called extreme sports these days are nothing more than packaged thrills to part the rubes from their money while giving them a feeling of achievement. The SCUBA and skydiving production lines a case in point.

500N
20th Feb 2013, 04:37
Yes, PADI have it down to a fine art :O


Although I don't consider Scuba diving to be an extreme sport.

Solid Rust Twotter
20th Feb 2013, 07:08
Many do. Same-same skydiving, rock climbing, bungee jumping and so on.

B Fraser
20th Feb 2013, 07:25
In my yoof, I used to run off the edge of a mountain under a fabric wing. The trick was not to turn it into an extreme sport which I largely managed to achieve.

I have been thinking of dusting off the gear and having another season however I watched a programme about a paralympian. He was doing the same and will never walk properly again.

:ouch:

Solid Rust Twotter
20th Feb 2013, 07:37
Yup. We get too old and chicken, despite our egos telling us otherwise. All that spearing in downwind chasing the disc under a Triconal or a PC catches up with us eventually.

El Grifo
20th Feb 2013, 17:42
Hey B Fraser, the volcanoes round our way are littered with crosses marking the graves of the guys who had given up, still had the gear in the corner of the garage, but decided to have that last one go !!

Not recommended :ok:

rgbrock1
20th Feb 2013, 17:55
500N wrote:

How do you cut up a full lettuce, cauliflower
with a short knife without making a hash of it ?

Or a block of meat ?

With your teeth. Then again, I wouldn't expect a former Aussie para to be able to figure that one out. Would take a former US Army Ranger to do so. Eh, 500N?

:}:}:}:}:}

rgbrock1
20th Feb 2013, 18:01
500N wrote:

haven't you ever stuck a wild boar ?

Nope, never stuck one. However, there are many wild boar in parts of the Vaterland/Deutschland/Germany. And being that boar tastes so good, when cooked properly, we were out in the field one time and asked our squad leader if we could "have at it" and "secure us a boar hog". His answer was "absolutely not. What are ya'll, crazy?"

5 minutes later we hear the crackle of M16A1 rifle fire in the distance.

10 minutes later we see 3 US Army infantryman carrying their trophy between them. Yup. One big-assed boar. Squad leader wasn't impressed at all but he did partake of the eating of Mr. Boar after it was cleaned up, prepared and roasted by our accompanying, and resident, cook!

Solid Rust Twotter
20th Feb 2013, 18:29
Lettuce? Must be a Ranger thang...:E

rgbrock1
20th Feb 2013, 18:31
SRT:

Yes, lettuce is a Ranger "thang". We used to use it to wipe our arses.

Next question?

500N
20th Feb 2013, 18:49
rgb

Thank you for that answer, I bow to your Ranger greatness :O

I think sticking boars is nuts as well,
much more fun shooting them :O


"prepared and roasted by our accompanying,
and resident, cook!"

No wonder you said you couldn't cook the other day,
Ranger's took cooks with them in the field.
Jesus, what's next :O

421dog
20th Feb 2013, 18:55
I challenge anyone to adequately fillet and skin a 20 pound salmon with a 3 inch knife. It just ain't gonna happen. I've got a thirty year old birch handled Rapala with a 9" blade which does the job nicely.

You're gonna have to wait until I'm dead to pry it from my cold, wet hands. (Steelhead season here in Michigan, you know)

rgbrock1
20th Feb 2013, 18:58
That's a negative 500N: Infantryman take cooks into the field with them. Sometimes. Rangers never do. They eat whatever is available. Always. :}:}:}

500N
20th Feb 2013, 18:59
Good example 421dog.

How about a photo of one of these that you have caught ?

Solid Rust Twotter
20th Feb 2013, 19:51
SRT:

Yes, lettuce is a Ranger "thang". We used to use it to wipe our arses.

Next question?

Do you use your teeth on it before or after...?:E


We use bunnies. Much softer on our delicate little arses.

Solid Rust Twotter
20th Feb 2013, 19:55
Got a mate, sadly now deceased, who used to go after warthogs in their burrows with a Swiss army knife. We had orders to drag him out by his feet when he began kicking, usually followed by either an angry tusker boar or lunch. TK was a character and an utter loon, but salt of the earth.

Blacksheep
20th Feb 2013, 21:06
Youngest son-in-law is a Chinese Scotsman. His father came to Scotland and opened a Chinese restaurant in Dundee. He doesn't have a knife in his kitchen, but he's a true artist with a cleaver. slicing, carving, crushing, scraping - you name it, he gets perfect results.

And he's never been robbed! ;)