View Full Version : Duchess of Cambridge - Attacked by a fruit bat

19th Feb 2013, 07:29
I wouldn't want to bump into Ms Mantel in the dark.

Hilary Mantel: Kate Is A 'Plastic Princess' (http://news.sky.com/story/1053879/hilary-mantel-kate-is-a-plastic-princess)

19th Feb 2013, 07:51
She could be right though, I mean, does the average redtop reader really want royals who keep taking their clothes off, and jumping out of helicopters, and stuff like that?

My vote is for Harry, real nice ordinary guy doing what princes do.

19th Feb 2013, 07:53
Hilary Mantel - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hilary_Mantel)

CBE?!!! With respect Your Majesty please would you strip this 'bat' of this award.

I see that there has been an edit to Wikipedia under 'Early Career':

'She is an ugly witch who attacks beautiful Princesses'. :ok:

Solid Rust Twotter
19th Feb 2013, 08:38
Bit of a dish faced horror herself, is the Mantel exhibit.:ooh:

There's a good future ahead of her rattling chains at tourists.

19th Feb 2013, 08:57
Mind you, in the bat's defence I would respectfully point out that Kate - already a thin girl - is now (well pre pupping) positively skeletal.

Takan Inchovit
19th Feb 2013, 09:15
Should read, "Fruit bat attacked by a cricket bat!"

19th Feb 2013, 09:31
thought it was going to be something about these little charmers.....

Australian bat lyssavirus - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_bat_lyssavirus)

19th Feb 2013, 09:36
The funny thing is that the very thing she criticises in Kate is the one thing that comes across when she herself is speaking, wooden, laboured and characterless. Bit pathetic really.

19th Feb 2013, 09:47
Must get my eyes seen to. I read it as Harvey Keitel

19th Feb 2013, 10:08
I was given her book "Wolf Hall" as a present a few years ago and it was a passable read. As a protest against her slur on Kate I will not buy the follow up book.

That'll teach her :rolleyes:

19th Feb 2013, 10:22
I wonder why otherwise intelligent older women who have lost their looks (if they ever had any) bother to pick on younger, prettier ones. What do they achieve other than making a fool of themselves?

Imagine a 60 year-old chubby balding male author bothering to criticise Prince Harry's looks. What a waste of time.

19th Feb 2013, 10:31
So what? Just another opinion from someone among billions of people, all of whom have one.

Nothing to see here, move along now.

19th Feb 2013, 12:27
Just another opinion from someone among billions of people, all of whom have one

Which she chose to express very publicly rather than keep to herself.

If that's the most interesting thing she can do, publicly shredding someone else, regardless of who they are, what a very sad insight in to her life.

19th Feb 2013, 12:31
Kate is one of the few female members of the Royal Family who is worthy of the nation's respect and admiration. She is graceful, dignified, intelligent, and attractive in both her personailty and her looks.

In fact, she is everything that Hilary Mantel probably aspires to be. What a vile woman.

19th Feb 2013, 12:34
What Capetonian said. :ok:

19th Feb 2013, 12:46
Yep. With looks like hers she really should be wary of criticising anyone else's looks. Why did she imagine that her comments on the Duchess were required in any case?

sled dog
19th Feb 2013, 12:48
Shirley everyone is entitled to their own opinion on any subject , without being abusive, regardless of what other people think ? For me, Kate has always been too thin, but that is none of my business.

19th Feb 2013, 12:48
Is that Hilary Mantel huh? What a horrible ugly scrag! :yuk:

...At least they posted a pic of Kate M next to that lump of
monstrosity to instantly soothe one's devastated eyeballs!

Union Jack
19th Feb 2013, 12:49
I wonder why otherwise intelligent older women who have lost their looks (if they ever had any) bother to pick on younger, prettier ones.

Well, there's possibly a bit of a clue in an anagram of Hilary Mantel - "Mean Rat Hilly!" :ouch:


19th Feb 2013, 12:59
My vote is for Harry, real nice ordinary guy doing what princes do

Wot-running around naked in Vegas and dressing up like a Nazi? :p:p Miss Mantel should be stuffed and hung above a mantle.

19th Feb 2013, 13:01
...Mean Rat Hilly has a right to state an opinion - but has NO
right to foist her butt-ugly mug on the unsuspecting masses!

19th Feb 2013, 13:04
Perhaps I shouldn't be too mean about the woman-after all God has already had her little joke!

19th Feb 2013, 13:05
She reminds me of Germaine Greer and her rantings
of the last two decades.

Better left unsaid.


Very good


Cornish Jack
19th Feb 2013, 13:18
What an extraordinary outburst of 'harumphing' !!
The ex Ms Middleton is, as Hilary Mantel points out, required to do a specific job (breed!)- as were the OTHER ROYAL LADIES who were the subject of her lecture. This wasn't an abstract rant - it was a personally held critique of ONE of her subject matter.
From what I have heard (part of the original lecture) and read, it seemed to be fairly objective and accurate and certainly minus the generally silly sycophancy expressed in some of these posts. Comparisons with the other similarly placed lady at a similar stage in the Royal induction process reveal few differences. If we ignore (as we should) the ludicrous outpourings of our so-called newspapers and the ridiculous complaints of some of our contributors (who have never met, nor are likely to, the lady in question) an objective assessment would be that she is a clone of our present 20 something generation, neither better nor worse and with very little to recommend her as someone 'special'. She MAY become someone of stature as she grows older but I see nothing to indicate such a trend.
As for Hilary Mantel's looks or lack of them - what the hell has that got to do with anything?

wings folded
19th Feb 2013, 13:18
Miss Mantel should be stuffed and hung above a mantle.

There may be a shortage of volunteers to stuff her.

19th Feb 2013, 13:23

19th Feb 2013, 13:27
Jeezus CPTN....thanks for that. I need to wash out my eyeballs with Kate! :ouch:

19th Feb 2013, 13:30
She looks more pregnant than Kate!

Wonder what she did with the turkey baster.

19th Feb 2013, 13:32
Hey Cape!

Welcome back mate. :)

19th Feb 2013, 13:36
Wonder what she did with the turkey baster.
She filed a paternity suit against it. :p

19th Feb 2013, 13:37
We have a very overweight 60 year old who used to be a size 10, the same as Kate was, who suffered from Psychosis and for medical reasons can't have children criticizing Kate for being a Size 10 'ish and being pregnant.

Sounds like envy and still suffering the effects of her medication.


19th Feb 2013, 14:25
Wot Cornish Jack said.

These threads would be more interesting if those commenting (a) read the comments they were commenting on in full and considered the context and (b) could be bothered to exercise a little intellectual rigour so as to have a proper discussion.

Lazy, knee-jerk reactions to half-read/digested articles make for really dull threads.

Or you could just go back to looking a pictures of girls in bikinis - face it lads, that's more fun than having to think.

19th Feb 2013, 14:37
So Cornish Jack

Mrs Cornish Jack was married just so you could "breed"
from her and your children are also going to be clones
of the 20 something set - plastic, personality free ?
Maybe a reflection on the parents ?

Are you also going to gloss varnish your children prior to
hanging clothes on them before they are paraded in front
of men to choose who they want to breed from, that is if
they are good enough ?

19th Feb 2013, 14:42
BBC News - Hilary Mantel on Duchess of Cambridge's 'perfect plastic smile' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-21504926)

19th Feb 2013, 14:42
Thanks for the pig. Sorry, pic.

Where it lives there must be a whole pile of sugary fruit for the repulsive old bat to stuff herself on.

19th Feb 2013, 15:03
Are they related? I think we ought to be told


Cabbage Patch Kid


Hilary Mantel

19th Feb 2013, 15:07
Who or what is Hilary Mantel? Never heard of her - vaguely heard of a book called Wolfhall because I used to go past Wolfhall Manor on the way to Crofton Beam engines.

19th Feb 2013, 15:39
She could make a few bob on the side working as a scarecrow.

Alloa Akbar
19th Feb 2013, 15:41
Cornish Jack - You berate opinions on here supporting young Kate on the grounds that none of us know her, then you proceed to cast your own opinion, without knowing her (one assumes) ??

Octopussy - From your perceived position of higher intelligence, you have failed to spot a simple observation.. Most of us on here are of the mind that KM comes across (From what we see and hear) as a pleasant looking and lovely young lady, who offends no-one and lives her life and carries out her duties as expected, and quite why this other woman would seek to use her as subject matter is questionable.. Ahh! I have it.. Attention and publicity for an otherwise uninteresting piece... No surely not.. This woman is intellectual and above such cheap devices..

generally silly sycophancy Really? Or merely a rebuttal of the woman's views.

Now lest get some relevance back to the thread... Tits anyone


wings folded
19th Feb 2013, 15:42
Have you ever met a Hilary who was crumpet?

Alloa Akbar
19th Feb 2013, 15:46
Errr... Wings Folded..


19th Feb 2013, 15:54
I must lead a sheltered life - never heard of Hilary Mantel before this episode.

19th Feb 2013, 15:55
Have you ever met a Hilary who was crumpet?
At a bar called Desperados in Georgetown (part of Washington DC) I once met a lass named Hillary whose buxom proportions excited my attentions. She was interested enough in me that we ended up back at her apartment.

Sadly, all the fun we had moved me to about third base. I did not drive to the bar hopping run that evening. My compadre who had the wheels ended up being much less successful in fleshy messing about with Hillary's nice but somewhat reserved (and actually prettier) room mate.

It was an unhappy hour or so drive back to the part of Virginia where we both lived.

I left Hillary in her small room, in the two room apartment, with a kiss and a promise to call. I called, but as it worked out, I was unable to arrange a second date in DC before I was sent off to sea that summer.

One of the great tragedies of my young life, I thought at the time, is that I had less than the full joy of Hillary. Such is life.

wings folded
19th Feb 2013, 16:16
Must just be bad luck for my part.

I did encounter a Hillary in the lobby of a hotel at which was staying in Boston.

She was accompanied by her husband Bill and about 24 obnoxious threatening bodyguards, all of whom had hearing difficulties (they all wore auditive devices) and swollen lymph glands in their armpits.

I would not have classified her as crumpet.

Oh, and I was paying to stay at the hotel, they were just attending a fundraising event. But most of the hotel was placed out of bounds while they were there.

That peeved me a bit.

19th Feb 2013, 16:25
Alloa Just to clarify, I make no claims to higher intelligence and am not seeking to impugn the intelligence of others- I think most Prooners are highly intelligent- merely bemoaning the fact that many aren't troubling themselves to exercise it on this particular thread. :p

19th Feb 2013, 16:28

19th Feb 2013, 16:30
Hilary Mantel is quite wrong about the Middleton woman who has much in common with Anne Boleyn whose clever stalking of Henry VIII she herself has so cleverly paralleled. Both marriages were of course cemented by pregnancy, in Anne's case, she gave birth to Elizabeth Tudor. Middleton's father will no doubt be raised to the peerage, an Earldom, on the occasion of the birth of his first grandchild. It's worth remembering that at her trial, both Boleyn's father and uncle voted for the execution. That scenario seems unlikely to be played out again were Katherine to be caught having sex with her brother, which was one of the charges brought against Boleyn.
As for poor little Diana, comparisons fade, at least in the beginning of the respective relationships with the heirs to the throne concerned. Diana was the prey rather than the stalker, a wife for her lover selected by the awesomely appalling Camilla Parker Bowles. Her biscuit tin innocence would soon enough give way to a fine promiscuity worthy of any bawd or trellis climber although there are many, no doubt, who would claim that she only paid back in kind the cards which she was dealt.
Hilary Mantel has suffered from Endometriosis for many years. The treatment for this causes weight to balloon.Had she been so outspoken about Anne Boleyn before Henry tired of his second wife, no doubt she would have lost her head.

19th Feb 2013, 16:46
As for Hilary Mantel's looks or lack of them - what the hell has that got to do with anything?

Cornish Jack - She has invited comments on her own looks by commenting on the Duchess of Cambridge's looks with such remarks as

"...jointed doll on which certain rags were hung ... a shop-window mannequin".

"appeared to have been designed by committee and built by craftsmen, with a perfect plastic smile and the spindles of her limbs hand-turned and gloss-varnished".

Personally from what I've seen of her, she is a very pretty, vivacious and likeable young woman. Judging her suitability for her role as future queen by her appearance is no more relevant than judging an author's books by her appearance.

wings folded
19th Feb 2013, 16:57

Thanks a lot. I had been slowly recovering.

19th Feb 2013, 18:16
What Captonian said x two :ok:

19th Feb 2013, 18:19
I still vote for Harry, real good guy,

"Once more unto the beach dear friends...
....Cry God for Harry, England and Saint George!"

19th Feb 2013, 18:27
Here is a link to Mantel's speech which some might find less offensive, once read, absorbed and understood, than that idiot Cameron purported to do from India or than the propaganda machine working for the commercial enterprise known as The Firm would have the great deluded British public believe.

Hilary Mantel ∑ Royal Bodies ∑ LRB 21 February 2013 (http://www.lrb.co.uk/v35/n04/hilary-mantel/royal-bodies)

19th Feb 2013, 18:49
So what? Just another opinion from someone among billions of people, all of whom have one.
Do forgive me. I thought that's what Pprune was all about.

19th Feb 2013, 18:51
What I see from H Mantel is the green monster of jealousy rearing its ugly head.

Bitter much, bitch? :p

And here's the irony, in her own words.
It is sad to think that intelligent people could devote themselves to this topic with earnest furrowings of the brow, but thatís what discourse about royals comes to: a compulsion to comment, a discourse empty of content, mouthed rather than spoken.
Her "speech" was sixty minutes of the same. I'll offer up Hillary Mantel as this week's perfect example of an oxygen thief.

19th Feb 2013, 18:52
At the first look at the thread title I thought it was going to be about her father in law.

19th Feb 2013, 18:52
That perhaps and from time to time, with increasing rarity, a connection with aviation.

19th Feb 2013, 18:57

The Harpy Mantel is sufficiently avian to allow inclusion on the PPRuNe family of forums. ;)

Mr Chips
19th Feb 2013, 18:58
So a celebrated and award winning author, whose looks are irrelevant, makes a speech about teh public/media relationship with the Royal Family gets quoted out of context by the Daily Mail (which is regularly villified on here) and everyone posts without (apparently) even reading the article linked in the first post?

Wow, Jetblast dumbing down?????

Go and read the article!!!!

But the author's remarks, which were reprinted this week in the London Review Of Books, seem to have been taken out of context

Nevertheless, the Daily Mail labelled it an "astonishing and venomous attack" on Kate.

It quoted Mantel's speech at length, although it did not point out that Mantel was describing what she saw as a view of Kate constructed by the press and public opinion.


19th Feb 2013, 19:16
Mr Chips, I did indeed read the article.

Here's her conclusion.
We have arrived at the crux of the matter: a royal lady is a royal vagina.
Along with the reverence and awe accorded to royal persons goes the conviction that the body of the monarch is public property. We are ready at any moment to rip away the veil of respect, and treat royal persons in an inhuman way, making them not more than us but less than us, not really human at all.
By the logic of similarity, this conclusion renders Mantel's status as one garden variety cnut.

19th Feb 2013, 19:19
Having read the speech which posted earlier (#52) a reasonable and intelligent man might be forgiven for wondering what all the fuss was about?

The answer of course is that while the press is playing its part, the real conspiracy, engineering and execution comes from the propaganda organization which works for the British commercial institution known as The Firm.
This shadowy and mysterious operation operates from the basements and lower hallways of Kensington Palace. It is a ferocious protagonist in the constant battle, perceived as a consequence of it's own paranoia, to enhance the reputation of the Windsor family and its associated hangers on. No matter the cost of life and reputation to those whose path it crosses in its relentless and vicious campaign to suffocate all criticism of the Royal Family, real or imaginary in order to prolong its own crass existence at the expense of an ever delusional and suitably deluded public.

19th Feb 2013, 19:29
too tired to read the speech - thanks for the hint there might be a point - but, well...


do you mean such a person really exists and criticises loudly? :\

19th Feb 2013, 19:35
She is allegedly loved for her mind.

The piece includes some interesting speculation on the troubles that Henry VIII had in getting male heirs, but then again, he had two male heirs (as I recall) who both died rather young: one as an infant, the other before reaching age 12.

19th Feb 2013, 19:40
What has someone so repulsive got to smile about?

19th Feb 2013, 19:43
About the only thing he can smile about, winning the Man Booker prize twice.

Maybe she should write books and not give speeches. :O

19th Feb 2013, 19:44
One really shouldn't mock the afflicted especially on an aviation forum inhabited by superior beings.

19th Feb 2013, 20:22
My superior being (Mrs Toff) says she'd be better off sticking to the bat suit, black wings and all.

19th Feb 2013, 20:41
....winning the Man Booker prize twice.

I think I'm gonna need glasses - I thought it said Man Bonker prize.

Took my intuition to tell me I must be reading it wrong.

So she books men huh? Didn't know women got prizes for that.

19th Feb 2013, 20:44
Given the odds that the last one she bonked would have been treated for a crushed pelvis, I'd say leave her to her booking: it's safer for the general public. :p

Milo Minderbinder
19th Feb 2013, 20:50
didn't she play the part of the dog in "The Magic Roundabout"?

I know Dougal was supposed to be male, but I don't think anyone would look too closely

19th Feb 2013, 20:54
We have arrived at the crux of the matter: a royal lady is a royal vagina.
Along with the reverence and awe accorded to royal persons goes the conviction that the body of the monarch is public property. We are ready at any moment to rip away the veil of respect, and treat royal persons in an inhuman way, making them not more than us but less than us, not really human at all.

Kate is likely grateful that the requirement to birth royal heirs in the presence of a considerable number of noble male personages has fallen into abeyance;)

As for Hillary, lets be gentlemen and ascribe her rant to the malign influence of hormones and/or meds that does afflict ladies from time to time.

19th Feb 2013, 20:59
Mantel ended her speech with a plea for people to "back off and not be brutes".

Who in Hell,
Is Miss Mantel?

19th Feb 2013, 21:03
A man?
Who can tell?

19th Feb 2013, 21:06
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRyWdQr7FBFK6kDgGsR_KMljTqDH6OQg4WuIHWflcA HNw_sbZ56Qg

No, it's an insult to Miss Piggy!

19th Feb 2013, 21:17
Don't worry - I'm sure Statler and Waldorf would come to her rescue!


19th Feb 2013, 21:32
didn't she play the part of the dog in "The Magic Roundabout"?

Looks more like Florence to me.

Milo Minderbinder
19th Feb 2013, 21:44
just went back and looked at the photos - we're both wrong
She quite clearly appeared as Emintrude

20th Feb 2013, 01:01
Anne Boleyn whose clever stalking of Henry VIII she herself has so cleverly paralleled.

... and that didn't really turn out to be so clever after all ...:(

20th Feb 2013, 02:37


20th Feb 2013, 11:51

>Have you ever met a Hilary who was crumpet? <

Yes. Was going out with her sister: it all came to an end after sister found us in bed together. It was Hilary's bed, though.

Many, many years ago.............

wings folded
20th Feb 2013, 12:11
I suppose that I just keep meeting the wrong kind of Hilary.

20th Feb 2013, 12:51
You mean there's a right kind of Hilary? I need evidence.

I did go out with a girl called Marion who had a sister called Hilary, I was never quite sure which was worst, her looks or her personality and I made the mistake of telling her sister. After that I decided I wasn't the Marion kind.

20th Feb 2013, 13:21
After that I decided I wasn't the Marion kind.
Reminds me of a teacher my wife had at parochial school, referred to as "Sister Mary, unkind ..."

Cornish Jack
20th Feb 2013, 18:07
TTN - Judging her suitability for her role as future queen by her appearance is no more relevant than judging an author's books by her appearance. :confused:
Can you really not see the irony in that?
Perhaps if we look at it slowly?
Heads of State and consorts, actual or potential, are primarily, in this country, ON SHOW!! They don't have a political or governmental function. Therefore how they look and behave is (or should be) a matter of concern. The one-time Ms M presents, at the moment, as a standard, out of the box, newly pregnant 20 something. As has been pointed out elsewhere, 'The Firm' will work hard to mold her into something a bit more acceptable, as they tried to with Diana.
Hilary Mantel has been judged, by her peers, as quite exceptional, being the only double winner of such a prestigious literary prize.
Ms M has achieved ... what exactly - apart, that is, from the increasingly obvious?

20th Feb 2013, 18:27
She has achieved what exactly?

Why precisely what Anne Boleyn achieved before her head was struck off. The legal occupation of the royal bed, the role of Queen of England, the legitimisation of her position by the production of a royal baby and the knowledge that at the end of the rainbow lies a role as Queen Mother.
For her family, honours and opportunity, for her detractors, public ridicule and hatred.

20th Feb 2013, 21:12
Well, its one way for a second rate author to get publicity for a second rate book. :rolleyes:

. . . And it has worked very well.