View Full Version : Flatulence in aircraft (merged)(AGAIN!!!)

15th Feb 2013, 00:21
Flatulence in aircraft (http://www.theaustralian.com.au/travel/news/farting-on-aircraft-smelly-but-better-out-than-in-say-gastroenterologists/story-e6frg8ro-1226578512315)

Some interesting conclusions there

15th Feb 2013, 00:24

An aircraft is a flying coffin sandwiched between two swimming pools of Jet A and the midst this melange the charming aroma of methane and aluminium diminishing urine...

What's new? ;)


15th Feb 2013, 07:23
Oh, right, yes, flatulence in aircraft passengers...

...was rather expecting piccies of aircraft f**ting. :p

15th Feb 2013, 08:27
Skydiving operations seem to bring out the worst farts in some people. I would imagine that some would enhanced due to a feeling of fear among first timers, but some of the worst were let out by long term instructors!

I heard one story about a pilot at a well known Midlands Caravan flying DZ, who was so angered or possible overcome, by the smell emanating from the cargo, that she cut the flight short and ordered everyone out at 10,000 rather then the customary 13,000 feet.

Union Jack
15th Feb 2013, 08:34
Can't think why this is in Jet Blast ...... :rolleyes:


15th Feb 2013, 09:00
I tell my smoking FOs not to fart while they're sucking a ciggy.

They can do one or the other but not at the same time.

Its not the safety aspect of potentially explosive gases floating
around the cockpit - its the rudeness! http://serve.mysmiley.net/mad/mad0210.gif

Solid Rust Twotter
15th Feb 2013, 09:56
Snox at FAWB didn't like folks dropping their sumps in the PC6. He'd just nose over and descend and the load would forfeit their jump tickets.

There is nothing quite as explosive as a load of paras fed on a diet of military cabbage in the back of a DC3 or a C130.

Cyber Bob
15th Feb 2013, 15:03
Tenuous connection I know but I have a question

When letting rip in bed - why do you have to go for a 'Second Sniff' - why is that?. Slasher, anyone?

Erwin Schroedinger
15th Feb 2013, 17:18
From the link in the opening post:

Women's farts smell way worse than men's.

Why is that? :confused:

15th Feb 2013, 17:23
Women's farts smell way worse than men's.

Really? I thought women didn't fart? I've never heard a farting woman. (Except my maternal grandmother whose farts sounded like the US Army 3rd Armored Division's tanks coming across a field. At speed.)

Actually, I've never even smelled a fart from a woman. Must be lucky.

15th Feb 2013, 18:36
Those kind of farts, yes Slasher. The other kind, no. :ok:

15th Feb 2013, 18:42
I've never even smelled a fart from a woman.

C'mon mate I'm sure you've certainly caused the odd "love puff"
during a shag from time to time? ;)

why do you have to go for a 'Second Sniff' - why is that?

What I don't understand is why we can bask comfortably in our
own fallout but can't stand some other bugger's foul discharge?

15th Feb 2013, 18:49

The next time you think you can't "bask comfortably" in your own "fallout" I dare you to get onto an elevator/lift, let a big juicy one rip and stay with it for the ride!!!!

Standard Noise
15th Feb 2013, 18:50
Really? I thought women didn't fart? I've never heard a farting woman.
Actually, I've never even smelled a fart from a woman. Must be lucky.

RGB1 - PM me your address, I'll have Mrs Noise on the next flight out. The woman has a fart button hidden in our mattress, buggered if I can find it, but I always manage to sit on it when I get into bed! As for the smell, to steal a line from Monty Python 'you lucky, lucky b*****d!'

C'mon mate I'm sure you've certainly caused the odd "love puff"
You b*****d! I've got Guinness all over the keyboard now!:D:D

15th Feb 2013, 19:07
That'd depend on who's in the elevator rgb!


15th Feb 2013, 19:09
The people in that elevator don't look too happy, Slasher. I wonder why?

15th Feb 2013, 19:22
Wouldn't care about the unhappy people mate -
its the blokes with the guns that'd concern me!

Mr Chips
15th Feb 2013, 19:35
Just saw a post on Farcebook - 10 hour flight, all passengers served a bean salad.... good luck on that flight!

15th Feb 2013, 19:53
Thread drift warning!

Many thanks
you have just transported me back 44 years!!!!!!

The toilets below those flaming bums were probably the worst in Singapore.
Though where were the Kyties (spellink?):ok:

15th Feb 2013, 22:57
Farting on aircraft: Smelly but better out than in, say gastroenterologists

by: Liza Kapelle
From: AAP
February 15, 2013 7:25AM

Sometimes we've all wished we had one of these when flying. Source: News Limited

In-flight farts inevitable because of change in pressure
Windy passengers risk being ignored by cabin crew
Safety risk for pilots if farts are kept in - or let out
Women's farts smell worse than men's
Study inspired by gastroenterologist's long-haul flight

FARTING, cutting the cheese, letting her rip, breaking wind ... whatever you call it, experts say it's better out than in even on a plane.

Pilots, especially, have been urged to let flatulence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart)out for safety's sake, but passengers risk being ignored by cabin crews if they do.
A team of Danish and British gastroenterologists produced a paper on flatulence on planes after one of them, Jacob Rosenberg, was inspired on a flight between Copenhagen and Tokyo.
The problem is that farting (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart)is an invariable consequence of digestion and people do it about 10 times a day.
But people may fart more on flights because of changes in the volume of intestinal gasses as cabin pressure alters.
Hans Christian Pommergaard, Jakob Burcharth, Anders Fischer, William Thomas and Professor Rosenberg have told the New Zealand Medical Journal the holding back option may seem "alluring'' but there are
Stress, discomfort, pain, bloating, dyspepsia and other symptoms could ensue, while not discounting the chance that all the effort may be sabotaged by turbulence in any case.
"There is actually only one reasonable solution ... just let it go,'' the medicos say.
However, the odour - and women's farts smell worse than men's - may impair cabin service and thus the quality of life aboard the aircraft.
They warn of consequences in the cockpit.
"If the pilot restrains a fart, all the drawbacks previously mentioned, including diminished concentration, may affect his abilities to control the airplane,'' the researchers say.
"If he lets go of the fart his co-pilot may be affected by its odour, which again reduces safety on board the flight.''
The specialists did not recommend setting farts alight, either on land or in a plane, despite its proven ability to reduce odour.
They reluctantly dismissed the notion of rubber pants with an attached air container for collecting gas as "somewhat extreme''.
But they reckon putting active charcoal in passenger seats is a winner of an idea that could be backed up with special undies.
"The future frequent flyer may develop the ability to ``sneak a fart'' by wearing charcoal-lined underwear thus experiencing a comfortable flight in harmony with fellow passengers,'' they conclude.
Pre-flight passenger methane breath tests and reducing fibre in airline food options were also considered.
Here are some essential farting facts

There are roughly two types of fart - silent, also known as sneaking, and loud.
The average person farts about 10 times a day.
Women's farts smell way worse than men's.
Sulphur containing gasses are responsible for the pong.
Burning the gas does reduce the smell but lighting farts is not recommended on land or in a plane.
Exercising the pelvic ring is essential to maintain the ability to fart silently.
For people with a weak pelvic floor, decoys can be performed such as coughing, sneezing, verbal outbreaks or spontaneous applause.
Trying to hold in farts can result in discomfort, bloating, high blood pressure, dyspepsia and pyrosis.
Source: Paper by Hans Christian Pommergaard, Jakob Burcharth, Anders Fischer, William Thomas and Jacob Rosenberg in the New Zealand Medical Journal

15th Feb 2013, 23:17

•There are roughly two types of fart - silent, also known as sneaking, and loud.
aka The SBD* and The Thundersprake.

silent but deadly

15th Feb 2013, 23:25
Women's farts smell way worse than men's

Well you learning something new every day!

15th Feb 2013, 23:35
The great thing about farting on a plane is its very easy to point the blame somewhere else :), with all that aircraft noise and lots of people in a confined space all but the loudest will go unnoticed until the smell hits you. Then you just either ignore it till someone else smells it or when the smell travels up your nostrils just say "oh there are some smelly buggers on here today eh" us crew also love to take a stroll up the aisle. :\:\:\ heehee!!

15th Feb 2013, 23:52
Hahahaha..You guys make my day...although it's midnight and I am farting silently for quite a while now after I had a sneaky Mc cheesburger..
I guess this stinks worse than a woman's fart.

15th Feb 2013, 23:58
plane crashes moved to different forums/threads

but farts?

oh, I know...it must be something british

16th Feb 2013, 00:12
In a 3-man cockpit only one person knew who had farted...
In a 2-man cockpit you both know...
This is called progress.

16th Feb 2013, 00:16
In a 1 man ..... you KNOW who did it, but....

There's just no-one you can 'share' it with or 'boast' about it....

No matter how 'good' it is..(was)...

Cool Guys
16th Feb 2013, 01:18
I just learnt yesterday that the "pelvic ring" is called a "sphincter"

16th Feb 2013, 01:23
Smelly but better out than in, say gastroenterologists

Not only gastroenterologists, of course. I think I am correct in attributing to Burns the deathless counsel:

Whaure'er ye be,
Let wind gae free.

If not to Burns, then to someone else.

Those who have flown old-style, and for all I know new-style, fighter aircraft
that were or are no more than modestly pressurised will recall that the climb from ground-level to altitude was one endless involuntary release of internal gases. I think it was all due to the General Gas Equation, P1V1 = P2V2. The denominator T1 was equal, pretty much, to T2, and so irrelevant.

The memory of the d.H. Vampire T.11, for example, is fragrant. Probably the FB5 was identical, but solo. The T.11, being dual, collected and I suppose combined to a common quality, the output of instructor and pupil.

I do not remember, though, that either occupant was ever so ill-natured as to comment on the phenomenon, either jealously or reproachfully. We were men of iron.

16th Feb 2013, 06:35
better not try it in a training aircraft!!the smell could knock out your instructor!!

Cyber Bob
16th Feb 2013, 10:27
The 'Tell' is when you 'Lift to the left' or Right when processing fallout.

16th Feb 2013, 10:34
Skilful use of washing-up liquid will contain the offending gases in large shiny bubbles which can drift harmlessly around the cabin.

17th Feb 2013, 15:53
Holding in wind during flights is bad for your body claims scientists who suggest flatulence-absorbing solutions | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2279678/Holding-wind-flights-bad-body-claims-scientists-suggest-flatulence-absorbing-solutions.html)

Scientists are giving the all clear on in-flight flatulence due to health concerns while suggesting flatulence-absorbing alternatives from blankets to seat cushions for masking the smell.

Solid Rust Twotter
17th Feb 2013, 18:14
The next time you think you can't "bask comfortably" in your own "fallout" I dare you to get onto an elevator/lift, let a big juicy one rip and stay with it for the ride!!!!

Soft Ranger poofs.:E Get two cabbage laden paras in a lift to drop their sumps then stare at each other across the car while the victims fall around choking. First one to blink has to admit to the foul deed.

Requires nerves of titanium and a total lack of shame.

18th Feb 2013, 10:20
Ah yes, he who smelt it dealt it.....But don't forget the SBD variety: Silent, But Deadly. And never engage in a farting contest, as someone will always follow-through...:8

Solid Rust Twotter
18th Feb 2013, 10:40
...someone will always follow-through...

The Sport of Kings!:ok:

18th Feb 2013, 11:19
Sqn APC at Akronelli, sometime in the 80s: a clutch of us in the bar, some standing, others sitting on barstools. One of the senior navs on a barstool lets rip a particularly loud and juicy one; his expression rapidly changes to one of horror, as he realises that he has followed through. He eases himself off the barstool and slinks from the bar, leaving the rest of us to gawk at the freshly minted skiddy....:}

Erwin Schroedinger
18th Feb 2013, 11:30
Following Through.

I think it was Billy Connolly who said that as older age sets in:

1 - Never pass a toilet without paying a visit

2 - Never trust a fart.

B Fraser
18th Feb 2013, 11:55
...someone will always follow-through...

Also known as "to have gambled and lost".

The SBD is also known as a "Uri Geller smeller" as it will creep around the room bending spoons and stopping clocks.

18th Feb 2013, 17:47
I think it was Billy Connolly who said that as older age sets in:

1 - Never pass a toilet without paying a visit

2 - Never trust a fart.

And, as I recall no. 3 was - never waste an erection

Told to me by my doctor on reaching the age of 65.


18th Feb 2013, 18:49
Just thinking back over the years, the location par excellence for condenset bowel odour is the decompression chamber, used to select potential high-altitude pilots from the group. A dozen or so healthy young men, maybe women too these days, are herded at NTP into in effect a large boiler from which the air is sucked to give an ambient altitude of up to a notional 30,000 feet.

When they all get down to sea-level again the place smells like a charnel-house.

It is a matter of physics.

18th Feb 2013, 19:44
Notional? You mean nominal Davaar?

I remember my decomp course done in Victoria Oz yonks ago - my poop chute decided to go ape passing 22,000ft.
By 25,000ft everybody's bum was a trumpet. By 30,000 the older blokes winced as the Wet Fart Fairy began doing
the rounds. After returning to sea level I knew what a fumigated house bug feels like!

18th Feb 2013, 21:27
The 'Wet Fart Fairy" :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

19th Feb 2013, 01:50
Notional? You mean nominal Davaar?

You can have it either way, Slasher. It is not really 30K, so it is notional; but it is 30K is the "let's pretend" altitude, so I suppose it's nominal. The gaseous gasometry boils down, as we might say, to the same.

19th Feb 2013, 05:05
That's true Dav and I wasn't trying to be a grammar nazi -
just asking what you meant by notional in this instance. :\

Erwin Schroedinger
19th Feb 2013, 06:23
Is it safe for the Mods to repeatedly combine fart threads like this? :uhoh: