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Alpine Flyer
20th Apr 2002, 18:22
After a very long trip the crew the crew checks in at a layover hotel.

A few minutes after everyone has left for their rooms the phone rings in on of the cabin attendants' room. It's the captain. (Well not "the" Captain of "trip with" fame but...)

"Honey, why don't you come up to my room. I feel quite tired so a blowjob is all I can have tonight."

"Well honey, I'm quite knackered, too. Why don't you just jerk off into a glass and I'll have it for breakfast."

:eek:

Bandit *bob*
20th Apr 2002, 18:49
A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15
years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a young
couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him over a chair, ties up
the woman to the bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses her on the
neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom.
While he is there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen Honey, this
guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time in
prison,and has not seen a woman in years. If he wants sex, don't resist,
don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This
guy must be dangerous. If he gets angry, he will kill us. Try to be strong,
Honey and remember that I Love You..."
To which the wife responds, "I am glad you think that way and I'm
sure, he has not seen a woman in years, but he was not kissing my neck, he
was whispering in my ear and he told me that he found you very sexy and
asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. So try be strong, Honey and
remember I Love You too..."


Bob :p

Jenni
22nd Apr 2002, 18:36
Well, there was this young girl standing on a street corner, eating a bag of chips with her knickers down around her ankles.

A guy walks past her and wonders what the hell she is doing so he says to the girl
"Excuse me for asking but what are you doing stood there on that street corner, eating that bag of chips with your knickers down around you ankles"

to which the girl then replyed

"Oh, has he gone"? :eek:

Standard Noise
22nd Apr 2002, 19:28
A little redneck boy runs into his house one day and proclaims "I've found the girl I'm gonna marry and guess what paw, she's a virgin!"
Incensed, the father pounds his fist on the table and shouts "You ain't marryin' her son!"
"Aaww paw, why not?" asks the boy.
"Cuz if she ain't good enough fer her own family, she sure ain't good enough for ours!"

Wizofoz
23rd Apr 2002, 02:41
Man goes to the doctor and says"I've got a problem....

"I get up in the morning, have sex with the wife.On the way to work, stop off down the street, have sex ith the lady who lives there. Go to work, sex with one of the girls in the copying room. Lunch time, take my sectretary to a hotel, have sex with her. Afternoon, girl in the copy room again. I get home, have sex with the maid. Go to bed..Sex with the wife three or four times."

The Doctor asks,"What's the problem?"

The guy says "It hurts when I jerk off......."