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captainsmiffy
13th Feb 2013, 16:40
Your best lines, please, for SWMBOs valentine card message.......!

rgbrock1
13th Feb 2013, 16:42
Knowing the denizens of JB as I do, I have a feeling you're going to regret asking for suggestions.

How about: Dear Honey Suckle........? :ok:

captainsmiffy
13th Feb 2013, 16:44
...actually, there was a moments regret as I puunched 'submit'!

Slasher
13th Feb 2013, 16:55
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9NEfNFWy2F4e1B2S1ZtfyUBE2YZKt-Um6GbhqqueG1yJB5Z9nvA

..

tomtytom
13th Feb 2013, 17:23
She knows flying comes first so this usuallt suffices
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&tbo=d&site=&source=hp&q=tescos+valentines+card&oq=tescos+valentines+card&gs_l=mobile-gws-hp.1.0.0i30j0i8i30l2j0i8i10i30l2.223331.237209.0.238025.25.1 8.1.6.6.0.316.2625.0j12j3j1.16.0.les%3B..0.0...1ac.1.2.mobil e-gws-hp.U2gGiDg-jHQ#miuv=3

Slasher
13th Feb 2013, 17:34
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRjpBPgyPYgLtFYYPRO9TyNxJNwa_rbM_wAx_2UCon AazJFmIX5

Ripline
13th Feb 2013, 20:28
You never fail to go one better do you, Slash? :E

Bwahahaha......

Ripline

vulcanised
13th Feb 2013, 21:26
Roses are red
Violets are cute
Enjoy your Lasagne
Watch out for the Bute

11Fan
13th Feb 2013, 21:49
Roses are red,
Violets are purple,
Thank your stars,
I don't look like Urkel.

http://www.officialpsds.com/images/thumbs/STEVE-URKEL-psd11829.png

RJM
13th Feb 2013, 21:58
http://i47.tinypic.com/2iqc1gi.jpg

boguing
13th Feb 2013, 22:04
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting. The violets are dead.
The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

ps. I'm single.

Gordy
13th Feb 2013, 23:26
I like you style,
I like your class,
But most of all,
I love your ass.....

Belly to belly for a moments delight,
Then ass to ass for the rest of the night...

Roses are awful,
Violets the pits,
Lift up your shirt,
And show us your t1ts.

The rest may get me banned.......

boguing
13th Feb 2013, 23:47
CS.

This is not going as per plan, is it? No help whatsoever.

Just look for a twist on the same old platitudes.

I'm not really helping, am I?

Milo Minderbinder
14th Feb 2013, 00:02
Your lipsticks bright red
Your knickers bright green
I really love it
When you're looking obscene

11Fan
14th Feb 2013, 00:36
I'm so glad we're together,
I couldn't wish for a better lover,
What makes it oh so special,
You remind me of my Mother.





:hmm:

captainsmiffy
14th Feb 2013, 02:33
Class...real class, some of these! Guess it is starting to give an insight as to why there are so many pilots on wifey #2...or 3!

Slasher
14th Feb 2013, 03:37
If you happen to be away from her today...


http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdzyrualvJ1r9bljso1_500.jpg

probes
14th Feb 2013, 08:21
Whatever.
Just make sure nobody gets shot. :sad:
BREAKING NEWS: Paralympic star Oscar Pistorius being questioned by police after his girlfriend was found shot dead in his home | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2278492/BREAKING-NEWS-Paralympic-star-Oscar-Pistorius-questioned-police-girlfriend-shot-dead-home.html)

Alloa Akbar
14th Feb 2013, 09:36
Apparently she wanted to be really dirty for Valentines day and she said to him "Come on, shoot your load in my face"..


Taxi...

arcniz
14th Feb 2013, 11:39
Sea slug's 'disposable penis' surprises


Who says the BEEB doesn't have a soft spot for romance:

Here (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-21431678)



http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/65855000/jpg/_65855017_033758b0-3610-4764-9f70-7c62da9f9163.jpg

500N
14th Feb 2013, 11:43
Well, for once I got it all right, card, flowers, dinner :ok:

Now I've got a few credits for the year, I can go hunting :O

anotherthing
14th Feb 2013, 11:58
Pistorius is claiming it was an intruder. Personally I don't think he has a leg to stand on.

Back to St Valentine. gf was not amused with my early morning text:

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I'm no good at poetry
nice tits

Thankfully she has a card and flowers as well

stuckgear
14th Feb 2013, 12:02
Roses are red
Violets are ace
Give me a blow and I'll cXm on your face.

RJM
14th Feb 2013, 14:40
Here's to the girl I love the best
I love her best when she's undressed
I'd f*ck her sitting, standing, lying
If she had wings I'd f*ck her flying
And when she's dead and long forgotten
I'll dig her up and f*ck her rotten


I learned that in grade three. I'm still wondering what it all means... :rolleyes:

denachtenmai
14th Feb 2013, 15:13
Pinched from ARRSE (thanks beefer)

Roses are red
Violets are glorious
Never sneak up on
Oscar Pistorious.
Regards, Den.

Noah Zark.
14th Feb 2013, 15:30
From the brilliant Morecombe & Wise -


"I sit alone as the firelight flickers,
and think of you in your navy blue-
(Microseconds pause, then )-
Cardigan!

gingernut
14th Feb 2013, 18:34
Got the Mrs a hooter....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v617/gingernut123/DSC_0049_zpsd6453de7.jpg

unclenelli
14th Feb 2013, 19:21
I once worked wit ha guy who sent junk mail - he'd found a rule that if it's got enough stamps, a legible address and isn't on their banned items list, the Royal Mail must deliver it.
e.g. Greasy pizza boxes, rancid almost empty milk bottles etc


"Roses are red
Violets are blue
This piece of toast
Is tastier than you!"

-written on a piece of paper with address & stamps and sellotaped around a stale slice of toast - The toast survived the journey without getting snapped!!!!

unclenelli
14th Feb 2013, 19:22
I once worked with a guy who sent junk mail - he'd found a rule that if it's got enough stamps, a legible address and isn't on their banned items list, the Royal Mail must deliver it.
e.g. Greasy pizza boxes, rancid almost empty milk bottles etc - even a jiffy-bag full of Garlic Snails with a French Post-mark!!!


"Roses are red
Violets are blue
This piece of toast
Is tastier than you!"

-written on a piece of paper with address & stamps and sellotaped around a stale slice of toast - The toast survived the journey without getting snapped!!!!

G&T ice n slice
14th Feb 2013, 21:13
My darling Grace, I love your face,
I love you in your nightie.
When the moonlight flits across your t*ts,
Oh, Jes** Ch**** Almighty.

Lon More
14th Feb 2013, 23:02
Better late than never.

http://www.bitterwallet.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/phoca_thumb_l_valentine.jpg

http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/filestorage/forget-blow-jobs-flowers-valentines-day-ecard-someecards.jpg

and in the true spirit of the day

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d0/The_St._Valentine's_Day_Massacre_film_poster.jpg

Ovation
14th Feb 2013, 23:42
http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2013/02/15/1226578/409746-mean-dump.jpg

"If a guy steals your woman there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."