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OFSO
9th Feb 2013, 14:01
I notice in today's paper that Chris Huhne's wife Vicky Pryce is relying on the defence of "marital coercion, where wives can claim that they were deprived of their freedom to choose by their husbands."

Wives, you note. Not husbands. So I cannot claim that I was deprived by my spouse of the freedom to choose have an empty wardrobe for my use, and that the fact that all the wardrobes in this house are full of my spouse's suits, dresses, skirts, blouses, trousers, jeans and coats and every item of clothing you can think of and some that haven't even been invented yet, and the floor of every wardrobe is covered with hundreds and hundreds of pairs of shoes.....and at no time was I invited to express my thoughts on the matter (or even open my mouth when said spouse guessed what subject was coming next since I was standing next to a bursting wardrobe with some pathetic item of clothing in my trembling hand and nowhere to hang it.)

Equality ? Bah, humbug.

cavortingcheetah
9th Feb 2013, 14:07
So what would happen to the penalties were I to confess that the last six points on my UK licence had been taken as a hit for my wife while she pleaded marital coercion as a defense for my having taken them on my licence?

Noah Zark.
9th Feb 2013, 14:07
This Huhne fella is a typical arrogant git of an apology for a politician. But old Vicky is an equally nasty piece of work, make no mistake. Two peas in a pod! :yuk:

1DC
9th Feb 2013, 14:10
OFSO.:D:D:D Well said..
Have just read your missive out to Mrs 1DC, apparently I don't know I'm born!!

Sallyann1234
9th Feb 2013, 14:15
Tough shit, OFSO.

Live with it.

SASless
9th Feb 2013, 14:26
OFSO......I have to assume there is some space she shares with you that keeps you around or you would have split the TeePee!;)

Seldomfitforpurpose
9th Feb 2013, 15:07
Tough shit, OFSO.

Live with it.

Mrs Hune per chance :p

Rather be Gardening
9th Feb 2013, 15:18
Ah but OFSO, how much shed space have you let her have, eh? ;)

gingernut
9th Feb 2013, 15:39
Ah but OFSO, how much shed space have you let her have, eh?:D

You can't let a woman in a shed, it's just not right.

All joking apart, I'm not sure about this marital coercion. Certainly in my relationship, I'm a bit of a gimp, and am thinking of getting a (pink) gimp mask that says "mrs g's bitch," on the front.

When push comes to shove though, unfortunately when things get physical, in my (wide) experience it's usually, although not always, women who seem to get the sh*t end of the stick.:ouch:

G&T ice n slice
9th Feb 2013, 15:49
OFSO

shirley you handle clothing etc in same way that all males do?

drop it on the floor when you take it off

and magically it reappears freshly laundered & ironed ?

What's the war-drobes things?

M.Mouse
9th Feb 2013, 15:56
From what I have read and listened to the conspiracy offence took place ten years ago. They got away with it and probably would have continued to have done so. The reason we have seen Huhne exposed for the arrogant liar that he is is purely because she shopped him in order to take revenge for him having had an affair with someone he then left her for.

She deserves everything she gets, as does he.

While acknowledging that there are a few honourable politicians the expenses scandal and cases like this and Jonathan Aitken et al serves to reinforce the impression that we are governed by a bunch of self-interested, arrogant, dishonourable and pompous bunch of thieves and liars.

OFSO
9th Feb 2013, 19:47
I wish to retract my first post. I've just been told I am Miss Informed.

And don't call me Shirley.......

G&T ice n slice
9th Feb 2013, 20:40
It's scary, isn't it?

how do they know?

Arm out the window
9th Feb 2013, 21:45
serves to reinforce the impression that we are governed by a bunch of self-interested, arrogant, dishonourable and pompous bunch of thieves and liars.

Well, it serves you right for sending us convicts down here - we don't have any of that nonsense, no no, we have people the calibre of Craig Thomson, Peter Slipper, Eddie Obeid, Julia Gillard ... erm :uhoh:

reynoldsno1
10th Feb 2013, 21:00
I find it hard to believe that Ms Pryce would be coerced by anyone or anything - she looks positively carniverous. Nice legs, though.

radeng
10th Feb 2013, 21:32
I'd like to see her get away with it, merely because it would REALLY p*ss him off!

A much better punishment than the courts can ever hand down!

david1300
11th Feb 2013, 01:35
I read the headline as 'More Sexual Bliss'. Expected to find Slasher here in full flight, complete with pictures. Oh well, it probably would have been a fantasy thread anyway:rolleyes:

Slasher
11th Feb 2013, 06:41
I take it this (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/liberaldemocrats/9856223/Vicky-Pryce-the-day-Chris-Huhne-demanded-I-sign-for-his-speeding-points.html) is what the hoo-ha is about?

Alloa Akbar
11th Feb 2013, 09:44
I take it Ms Pryce won't be campaigning for sexual equality if she is claiming her defence was "Doing as she was bloody well told.." Shame there aren't more like her if you ask me.. :ok:

B Fraser
11th Feb 2013, 12:10
Good looking legs ????? I think a visit to Specsavers is in order.

The act of estimating the attractiveness of the female form is similar to golf. If the object of your attention looks great from 6 feet away, then the term "a putter" applies. If a bit more distance is required then the scale goes up along the lines of pitching wedge, 1 iron, 2 iron etc. ending up with the term "a 3 wood". As soon as you get into the wood territory then this is similar to extra strength beer goggles where alcohol poisoning becomes an occupational hazard.

I fear that the lady in question is beyond the contents of the average golf bag and is in a whole new category.



http://www.disused-stations.org.uk/features/rail_guns/boche_buster(catterick12.1940)6.jpg

rgbrock1
11th Feb 2013, 13:42
When will women finally realize that there are only two rooms which are necessary for them to inhabit: the kitchen and the bedroom. Their presence is not necessary anywhere else. Oh. I forgot. Maybe the laundry room as well.

Alloa Akbar
11th Feb 2013, 14:23
Beef,

as a participant of real golf, and a willing "newbie" to the joys of Bar Golf, I have a question - What is the correct place and use for the "Recovery club"?? :confused:

B Fraser
11th Feb 2013, 14:42
Alloa,

I believe that the recovery club has a much shorter shaft and a larger head. The answer is I believe very much dependent on the width of the fairway on which you are playing and how often the keeper has tended the green. The expert golfer will use his club to drop his balls just beyond the bunker and roll slowly up to the hole and claim a birdie. Be careful not to enlarge the hole with excessive use of the club.

As a point of principle, if the red flag is flying then the course is unplayable. I suggest that a beginner uses this unscheduled downtime to improve their game and book a session with the pro who will demonstrate the most effective grip.

I hope this helps.

B Fraser
11th Feb 2013, 14:43
And my new nickname is "Findus". Only 80% beef, 20% horse.

;)

Alloa Akbar
11th Feb 2013, 14:44
Crystal mate, crystal :ok:

Cornish Jack
11th Feb 2013, 18:05
Something I find extremely puzzling about the various 'Huhne threads' - the extraordinarily vituperative tone of the anti-Huhne posters. OK, so he's a politician and, therefore, by definition, a lying, weaselling, self-aggrandising piece of doo-doo ... but there are hundreds of them and I can't recall the rest of them getting quite this level of abuse.
Demonstrably, these posters cannot be close friends/acquaintances of the subject, so what causes the exceptional anger? Much of it, I suspect, is the standard outpouring by the undying supporters of Attila the Hen against ANY LibDem and that they can't get over the fact that the old bat has long since lost her influence (among much else, apparently).
But, where is the equivalence for (e.g.) 'Jerry Can' Maude or the Minister with the novel and inventive version of accommodation expenses (again!) or the Straw Man with his 'not me 'guv hand-washing responses to rendition and torture.
On a personal basis, I feel justice would be appropriately served by the pair of them (Huhnes) being 'banged up' for the same sentence ... but having to share one cell.:E

Alloa Akbar
12th Feb 2013, 07:39
Findus - We always knew you were a bit of a horses arse..


(Oh come on, you absolutely begged for that one!! :E)

:ok:

YorkshireTyke
12th Feb 2013, 08:12
............was standing next to a bursting wardrobe........ and saying " I haven't got a thing to wear for tonight"

Bah! Humbug !

owen meaney
12th Feb 2013, 09:33
Old joke:
How do you turn a DishWasher into a Clothes Washer...
Take her into the laundry

Solid Rust Twotter
12th Feb 2013, 10:09
Something I find extremely puzzling about the various 'Huhne threads' - the extraordinarily vituperative tone of the anti-Huhne posters. OK, so he's a politician and, therefore, by definition, a lying, weaselling, self-aggrandising piece of doo-doo ... but there are hundreds of them and I can't recall the rest of them getting quite this level of abuse.
Demonstrably, these posters cannot be close friends/acquaintances of the subject, so what causes the exceptional anger? Much of it, I suspect, is the standard outpouring by the undying supporters of Attila the Hen against ANY LibDem and that they can't get over the fact that the old bat has long since lost her influence (among much else, apparently).
But, where is the equivalence for (e.g.) 'Jerry Can' Maude or the Minister with the novel and inventive version of accommodation expenses (again!) or the Straw Man with his 'not me 'guv hand-washing responses to rendition and torture.


Reaction to the groovier/holier than thou persona projected by the party in question, perhaps?

broadreach
12th Feb 2013, 23:23
OFSO,

I need to remember the Kamm theory, something like - in aerodynamic terms - at every doubling of the speed one squares the drag.

It works like that with His and Her wardrobes. As life progresses and income grows, you will find that when your income has doubled, the default Ms needs her wardrobe space squared.

All that's easy enough to show on a graph - although pretty frightening. The problem usually arises when you reach retirement age; by that time you have sensibly decided you need only three pairs of jeans, half a dozen shirts and a few T-shirts plus two outdoor weather jackets or whatever. What do you need, 2-3 feet of hanging space and two drawers?

So, you then begin to surrender your wardrobe space. Ms needs it because she's gained a bit of weight and needs new clothes but doesn't want to throw out the old ones because she's going to lose those extra pounds. Yes, of course.

Around this time the income curve begins to move to the right, like on a bell chart, and suddenly you are on the descending side of the curve. Ms, excited with all the extra time you have on your hands, sees new horizons of social and cultural activities she's been yearning for all these years and goes shopping for appropriate gear. At which stage you reduce your 2-3' of wardrobe space even further or decide to build an extension to the house.

And so forth.

radeng
13th Feb 2013, 10:25
broadreach,

Don't forget you also need a suit, if only for going to funerals and weddings of children/grandchildren and christenings of their offspring.

MagnusP
13th Feb 2013, 10:31
Got the kilt for that, radeng, and if it's black tie, I can borrow brother's Bonnie Prince Charlie jacket for a more formal look than the Argyll jacket.

radeng
13th Feb 2013, 10:35
Magnus,

With a badly scarred right leg and varicose veins, I would not distress the public by showing my legs in a kilt, shorts or bathing trunks!

OFSO
13th Feb 2013, 13:17
Well, I finally reached deep into my pocket(s) and bought another new wardrobe. It is composed of (from left to right although could be from right to left as is symetrical): one 50cms hanging space behind one door; one 100 cm hanging space behind two doors; one 50cm hanging space behind one door. I have been allocated one (1) of the 50cms hanging spaces. This represents about 25% of the total hanging area, which as any married man will know, is MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR A MAN, ANY MAN, OR AT A PINCH ANY TWO MEN..

MagnusP
13th Feb 2013, 13:53
Well, I confess to having the lion's share of the wardrobe in our bedroom, with 50% of the hanging space and all the shelf and drawer space. But that's it.

HOWEVER,

MrsP also has clothes in the wardrobes in both the spare bedrooms, all the chest of drawers space in our room, most of the corner cupboard in our room, 80% of the bathroom cabinet (I think I did well there to get 20%) and rollaway storage boxes under our bed and one of the spare beds. The difficult decision-making associated with this complexity means that most stuff gets discarded on either the bed, the bedroom chair, or the floor on my side of the bed.

Gentlemen, I feel your pain. :\

Ladies, you're all the same. :p

G&T ice n slice
13th Feb 2013, 15:01
Dear Mrs OFSO

I believe that OFSO has now served a fair pennance for the initial offense.
Please can you forgive him now?

Thanks

all at PPRUNE

p.s. you can make him stop & ask for directions next time you're out

OFSO
13th Feb 2013, 15:43
a fair pennance

And I thought you were married, G & T. Obviously not or you'd know there are NO limits to the pennance a married man must suffer. Long ago incidences from our past are dragged up into the daylight, the hard glare of a Spanish sun cast upon them, paraded in front of acquaintances, embellished, writ large on granite plates, and after suitable grovelling carefully packed away...until next time.

P.S. I don't ask for directions. I just lean forward, push a button and: "WHAT ARE YOU FIDDLING WITH THAT THING AGAIN FOR ! KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD"

broadreach
13th Feb 2013, 22:35
Radeng

Thanks for the reminder. A SUIT. Yes, well, I do have a few and they're squished into my gradually diminishing closet space. To be taken out and roasted in the sun the day before they're needed. If I remember, that is, otherwise the smell of mildew at the ceremony helps provide elbow room.

OFSO

Good on you for buying yet another wardrobe. It's all a bit like being enthusiastically pushed over a cliff, isn't it. I commiserate with MagnusP. Perhaps you will commiserate with me as I am now on course to build a new en-suite apartment - over a new garage and laundry - with 80% more wardrobe space. And of course when the time comes to move from our present quarters to the vastly larger apartment, I will be encouraged to get rid of all those old shoes, paint-caked jeans and perhaps a suit or two, to make room, you know?

Here comes some thread creep but general principles apply.
MANAGEMENT of FRIDGE and FREEZER
We all (us, I mean, married men) know that bringing frozen stuff we've bought in the supermarket back to frozen state in the home freezer takes a bit of time. And that it's not a particularly good idea to empty all the seven ice trays and, having replaced their contents with lukewarm water, to just shove them all back in the freezer compartment.
A particularly alert Ms might ask WHY? Well, because inserting less-than-frozen produce in the freezer compartment brings in what the other, already frozen, contents, see as heat. The lukewarm water in the ice trays brings in a few degrees of heat that the fridge can only deal with over many hours and, in the meantime, reduces the ambient temperature in the freezer compartment to a level that reduces the carefully preserved and crispily frozen Paella ingredients to a soggy mass - which will eventually freeze into a solid block.
What does one have to do to ingrain proper freezer management into the default Ms.

david1300
13th Feb 2013, 23:17
I've got the feeling that I'm dealing with a bunch of pussies, here :p Our house - equal inbuilt cupboard space for each of us; study (converted bedroom) contains motorbike gear - mine 60% hers 40%; 3rd bedroom contains luggage 50/50, overflow bike gear (his 100%, hers nil) and some of her seasonal overflow. I even have 60% of a pantry cupboard in the kitchen devoted to a hobby of mine - candle making.:ok:

C'mon guys, stand up for your rights. 3 months in hospital is a small price to pay for establishing who really is boss of the house :\

YorkshireTyke
14th Feb 2013, 02:04
...or decide to build an extension to the house.

And so forth.

Spot on, been there, done that, the second extension is now part finished due to indecision as to whether the Queen Mary sized new wardrobe ( hers alone) should have sliding mirrored doors, plain doors, or no doors ( living in a humid climate much air circulation is required, and my suggestion of burning a 25 watt bulb in each wardrobe has gone down like a lead ballon - expense, fire, plain silly etc.

Building stopped, watch this space - maybe next year ?

G&T ice n slice
14th Feb 2013, 12:08
And I thought you were married, G & T

No... sadly I never found a lady for whom I was worthy:

"It's not you, it's me, I'm just not good enough for you and though it breaks my heart I think we'd better call it a day so you can get together with someone better than me":{

It's a sad lonely life, the toothpaste tube is never squeezed in the middle, I can put my hand out & pickup soap, razor aftershave without a search, the toilet seat is always exactly where I left it last time, I only have old comfortable clothes & shoes, I iron a shirt when it's needed (almost never), I don't have anyone to worry about the fact that (a) I'm having that extra beer and (b) there's a damp ringmark on the beertable (I think they're usually called coffeetables??)

*** sigh ***


-----------------------------------
p.s. what's an eyechea, I-chea, eye-keyah ?? I keep hering stuff like "it's an eye-cheeyur table"

cockney steve
14th Feb 2013, 12:39
p.s. what's an eyechea, I-chea, eye-keyah ?? I keep hering stuff like "it's an eye-cheeyur table"

Possibly a product from a (Danish?) emporium chain which has massive showrooms full of stuff you don't need and, indeed, didn't even know it existed, to not need.

However, the fairer sex will always find something therein,without which their life is incomplete and unfulfilled.

Tableview
14th Feb 2013, 12:59
I thought that our bedroom cupboard, filled 90% by SMBO's clothes, most of which she never wears, and her shoes, ditto, contained all our clothes. Last week, whilst looking for a particular shirt of mine, I found that the cupboard in my study, and half the capacity of the one in my son's room is also full of her stuff.

I only ever buy an item of clothing to replace one that has gone to the dustbin so the space I need remains constant, a concept seemingly alien to the fairer sex.

As far as that Scandibloody furniture chain is concerned, I'm proud to say that I have never set foot in one of their emporia (emporiums) and have no intention of changing that. The irony is that when my time comes I will probably be despatched in an Ikea coffin!

Solid Rust Twotter
14th Feb 2013, 16:57
Play dirty and make it difficult for them to find the body, Mr TV.

rgbrock1
14th Feb 2013, 17:15
Know why women were created with smaller feet than a man? (Generally speaking of course. Don't want to come across as sexist.)

So they can stand closer to the stove and washing machine. :ok:

broadreach
14th Feb 2013, 20:55
I have been upbraided by Ms b over the subject of my response to OFSO in which I moaned about MY wardrobe space being reduced while HER's just goes on expanding.

Ms b reminded me that five! of the six drawers in our only chest of drawers is taken up by my clothes, one for underwear and socks, one for shirts, two for t-shirts and one for swimtrunks.

Duly chastened, I retired to what she calls my bat-cave, a simple 2.9 x 2.9m office with a pleasant view onto the hibisci, palms and resident bird life. Choking back the retort that most of the space in those drawers is taken up by years of Christmas and birthday presents in the form of t-shirts (too short), underwear (too tight), long-sleeve shirts (sleeves too short - I'm 6'4"), swimtrunks (too damn many, I only need one), all from guess who.

I know, all with the best intentions to jazz me up, modernise my image. And yes, some of my favourite t-shirts have armpit holes you could roll a grapefruit through, my favourite shirts for home work have totally frayed collars and cuffs etc etc. But but but....

How did Ms b know I'd responded to OFSO? She didn't but our friend the architect was here for lunch to discuss the latest set of plans for the new apartment and I made the mistake of joking about how much of the 7m of wardrobe was actually going to be mine (1m). Bad move. M, our architect friend and a true diplomat, defused all tension by pointing out where all the full length mirrors will fit.