View Full Version : You might be a bullshitter if.........

6th Feb 2013, 13:27
:} This is a follow on really from a thread in Frieght Dogs entitled "You might be a Freight Dog if.......

I am guessing that every airline has The SkyGod who has done and achieved everything possible known to man and aviation. These people (usually pilots but also engineers and cabin crew too) who have the SuperGenoGod gene live amongst us and yet, like the fictional superheroes on film they blend in with the rest of Humanity almost unnoticed. The only reason we know they exist is because they feed their feats of unbelievable derring do into the conversational threads within their own organisations.

Now it is time to advance the capabilities of mankind by bringing forth these amazing SuperHuman feats of these SuperBeings so that we may all benefit from their exploits amongst us.

Caution though please..... This is not meant as a form of ridicule against those SuperBeings amongst us. We should thank and indeed praise them for the hours of conversational enlightenment that they have provided over the years. :ok::ok::ok:

Note: The SuperGenoGod gene has been identified as beneficial mutation of the witherto unknown QuasiBullShiteius gene which wasn't discovered until Man learned to fly!

6th Feb 2013, 16:25
Harry... not bitter and twisted by any chance ...... ? Is there someone you don't like very much who is a much more of a Sky God than you are ...? Hmmmmmm.... ? Come on.. who is it ?

6th Feb 2013, 17:30
You might be a bullshitter if ... you are a pilot.

That seems almost axiomatic, but there are a few exceptions to that general rule. Laconic pilots do exist.

Solid Rust Twotter
6th Feb 2013, 20:10
One is the proud owner of an enormous willy.

Does that count?

6th Feb 2013, 20:13
One is the proud owner of an enormous willy.
Does that count?

"It's not wot you got it's the way that you use it
That's wot gets results"

P6 Driver
6th Feb 2013, 22:01
One is the proud owner of an enormous willy.

Competition for Ron Jeremy?

6th Feb 2013, 22:28
You might be a bullshitter if.........

You claim that your airline's number 1 concern is safety.

7th Feb 2013, 03:19
You might be a bullshitter if.........

You claim to've been Ron Jeremy's stunt double.

http://t.fod4.com/t/4d6daa2ab5/c240x134_36.jpg http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR8aw6JEvLiGfp58_PSLRvZx1l3uZc38MtURVo_wZe irJv3gY5dPg

7th Feb 2013, 19:11
Smudger......No no no..... Never been bitter, and as for me? I'm not a pilot but I am associated closely with an aviation company. 'nuff said there.

As an outsider to actual flying operations I cannot say how many of the stories that cross my floorspace are genuine..... hence this thread. I have however seen apparent evidence that Cap'n ***** had a huge willy only to hear it was a codpiece!!

So..... back to the stories! Let's have 'em......There must be some cracking stories out there. Just de-identify them first eh!!

7th Feb 2013, 19:34
like the fictional superheroes on film You are joking, right? If not, we'll be coming to get you. :E

One is the proud owner of an enormous willy.Well yes, that's fairly common in the youthful male pilot fraternity. But, have you got the big watch too?

Solid Rust Twotter
8th Feb 2013, 04:59
Ani fule no big watches are for those with tiny winkies.

8th Feb 2013, 05:40
Ani fule no big watches are for those with tiny winkies.

Constable, all those pilots are swimming naked in the pool.

If they're naked, how do you know that they're pilots ?

They all have big watches and little cocks.

Captain Dart
8th Feb 2013, 06:03
Yes, years ago a crusty Cabin Purser said that to my then captain in the bar on a layover once. His response was, 'My, what a small watch you're wearing, Margaret'.

10th Feb 2013, 13:45
Hey there,

Just wondering of anyone might be able to give me some pointers on the selection process with Air Contractors? I've heard an aptitude test, 2 interviews and a sim. Is this true? The aptitude test... Maths and English? How many q's and in what time allowed? 2 interviews? and the sim?

I know lots of questions and Ive already started the swotting but just want to make sure Im fully prepared.

ANy info would be extremely grateful!!!!

10th Feb 2013, 14:36
My advice would be to buy a big watch.............

10th Feb 2013, 17:39
. . . and reduce the size of your dick.

10th Feb 2013, 18:06
And try not to keep your hand on it too often.

10th Feb 2013, 18:09
Never try bullshitting a bullshitter

11th Feb 2013, 06:13
Or risk being left feeling bitter.
Facts stated that aren't
Can be a bit of a carnt
If its found out you're a real lying critter!
Oops! Wrong thread! :\

Worrals in the wilds
11th Feb 2013, 07:22
Never try bullshitting a bullshitter
If you're an aspiring student pilot and stretch this to ' locally based airline pilot' when chatting up Laydeez at the pub, it's best to ask said gals what they do for a living before making the claim. :suspect:

Otherwise, when it turns out that all six work in aviation (or border control :ooh:) your hasty retreat in the face of a hail of good-natured questions will not go unnoticed, particularly when you look younger and spottier than the pub's apprentice glass-collector and no-one's ever seen you at the airport. :E:}