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View Full Version : Right, everybody and by that I mean you and your kids . . .


Loose rivets
4th Feb 2013, 07:10
. . . I want a thousand quid each from you and that included that baby in the pram over there.


BBC News - Sellafield clean-up cost reaches £67.5bn, says report (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-21298117)


So, it's windmills then? :uhoh:

sitigeltfel
4th Feb 2013, 07:14
that baby in the pram over thereSorry Mrs Scroggins, we know your baby needs urgent surgery, but the wind isn't blowing hard enough today to power the operating theatre.

sisemen
4th Feb 2013, 07:32
65 billion? When I were a lass we used to 'ave to get up at half past four in t'morning and clean 4 nuclear piles a day. An all for four quid a week. And we were lucky....

http://cottonites.co.uk/places/images/dcr_1953a.jpg (http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=%22mrs+mop%22&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=uhh7cx4VerGkzM&tbnid=UrY98oX4pnJNzM:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fcottonites.co.uk%2Fplaces%2Fdelapre_cres_rd .htm&ei=h3EPUeu8J86imQX7n4CoBA&psig=AFQjCNHGPheoCAp2le6UqKlbaYjaZ3T4UQ&ust=1360052874984026)

Tableview
4th Feb 2013, 07:38
When I were a lass we used to 'ave to get up at half past four in t'morning and clean 4 nuclear piles a day. An all for four quid a week. And we were lucky....

Luxury .......... we used to 'av to get oop at 4 o'clock in the morning, 'alf an hour before we went to bed .... well ........ bed .......... our bed were shoebox in 'ole in 't road ........, lick road clean, eat 'andful of 'ot gravel for breakfast ..........

Big Hammer
4th Feb 2013, 07:41
You had a shoebox! Luxury, all we could afford was a paper bag beside the A47...................

sisemen
4th Feb 2013, 07:42
Aye. We may 'ave been poor but at least wi' working at t'nuclear plant me 'ubby and t'bairns had light to see at night wot wi' me glowin' an all.

Big Hammer
4th Feb 2013, 07:48
Slight drift but anyone remember the spoof on the Quaker oats advert that showed kids with a warm glow halo round them going to schol?

treadigraph
4th Feb 2013, 08:06
Big Hammer, that was Not the Nine O'Clock News: "Want your kids to glow in the dark? Then buy a house near Windscale" (as it was then known).

Big Hammer
4th Feb 2013, 08:13
Spot on Treadigraph. :ok:

MagnusP
4th Feb 2013, 09:46
Sorry Mrs Scroggins, we know your baby needs urgent surgery, but the wind isn't blowing hard enough today to power the operating theatre.

. . . and we don't have any radioisotopes to help diagnose what's wrong.

Sallyann1234
4th Feb 2013, 10:13
sisemen
I like your picture of the two ladies with mop hair-do's, but I think one of them needs feeding up.

The SSK
4th Feb 2013, 11:34
By Les Barker

Jason was a golden youth
Who lived in the city of Troy;
He went in search of the Golden Fleece
Though he never quite said woy.
Jason's gang went with him
When he went off on his wanders;
He rode a Grecian 2000
But the rest of the lads had Hondas.
"It's Jason and the Arguments!"
"Argonauts! that's what we're called;
no we're not; yes we are; no we're not;"
So arguments they were after all.

Jason's parents were vegetarian,
Voted SDP,
And had Trojan Horse No Thanks stickers
On the back of their 2CV.
But Jason was not like his parents;
Where they preached love, he would hate;
he superglued the cat to the record player
And played it at seventy eight.
But who are these valiant Greeks,
Sailing off in a pea-green yacht?
Jason and the Arguments;
No it's not; yes it is; no it's not.

They sailed in search of the Golden Fleece
That shone, as with sun-given rays;
Sheep are all like that round Sellafield,
Though it was called something else in those days.
Through the uncharted Irish Sea,
They sailed through the night, all alone
The Isle of Man hasn't got a lighthouse
'Cos it glows quite enough on its own,
And who are these valiant Greeks,
Who navigate by the Pole Star?
Jason and the Arguments;
"Yes we are; no we're not; yes we are."

By the light of the Morecambe Bay prawns
They knew their destination was near;
And when they saw Cerberus, the three-headed dog;
"This must be Sellafield; we're here!"
"Are you sure it's safe?" they asked,
In the purple light of the bay;
"Don't worry; it's perfectly safe,"
Said a spokesman from a long way away.
They were met by a two-headed maiden
Herding a four-headed cow
At a village just south of Workington
Or Not-workington as they call it now,
"Welcome to Excremont," she said,
And very appropriate too;
"Do you call yourself Jason and the Arguments?"
Yes, we do; no, we don't; yes, we do."

Though she'd two civil tongues in her heads,
Jason thought she was two faced;
She had far more breasts than he could handle
And her dress had a low-level waist.
ďAre you sure it's safe?" asked Jason,
Perturbed by the two-headed spinster;
"Don't worry; it's perfectly safe,"
Called a voice from the Palace of Westminster;
"Shepherds never lose their flocks;
They can see them, lit up, on the peaks,
And as for market gardening,
We're famous for our leaks,
You must face the cross-eyed Cyclops
Who lives in a cave on the moor."
The wind was strong as they climbed the hill,
As they made their way up to his door;
It was around force 8 on the Windscale,
Though you mustn't call it that now;
It's nothing to do with Sellafield
And neither's the four-headed cow.

The giant fixed them with his baleful stare,
Which no one seemed to like.
He said: "I am the Cyclops;
My friends all call me bike;
My name is Polyphemus,
Rocks and boulders I hurl;
Mr and Mrs Phemus
Called me Poly 'cos they wanted a girl,"
Poly wasn't too bright;
Poly, in fact, was quite dim;
Which makes it all the more surprising
They named all those colleges after him.
He was no match for quick-witted Jason,
Whose longsword flashed twice in the sky
The Cyclops' ears lay deaf on the floor
And his hat fell down over his eye.
"Nothing can stop us!" cried Jason;
"Whatever tries, we shall kill!
What do you say, me brave arguments?"
"Yes, we will; no, we won't; yes, we will!"

The arguments were spoiling for a fight;
It seemed nothing could stand 'gainst their wrath
Until they saw the terrible beast
That lay, like a curse, in their path.
The fearsome seven-headed Nolan
Guarded the Golden Fleece;
Jason looked for an argument;
They were suddenly halfway to Greece.
The seven-headed singing Nolan,
A sight no man can face;
And whenever one head got married,
Two more grew in it's place.
The ultimate fast breeder;
Jason called it a day.
"It's nothing to do with Sellafield."
Said a voice from a long way away.

Fox3WheresMyBanana
4th Feb 2013, 11:50
The amount spent each year is equal to all that spent on primary and pre-primary education, plus all medical research.

On the other hand, it's less than half that spent on foreign military aid.

G&T ice n slice
4th Feb 2013, 12:36
The really tragic thing (I've been living up here for 10 years now) is that the local government (Copeland BC) has absolutely NO vision for the borough and is utterly focussed on Windscale as the provider of jobs. So they squander money on stupid stupid things (like a great big new office block in the middle of Whitehaven where there will be 300, 500, 600, 900 (pick a number of) workers moving from offices within the Windscale perimeter. But there is no suporting access for vehicles (thinks 300,500, 600, 900 car movements twice daily)

They are, of course Labour and have always been. They have allowed Whitehaven to disintigrate slowly, despite the greater part of it being GradeII listed area. They have permitted stupid shop/office/appartment developments on the docks which has ruined the view over the town (there isn;t one now) because these new developments are out-of-scale with the town itself, and are extremely ugly and extremely tatty and quite quite horrible and "ultra leading edge modern" in a GradeII listed Georgian town???

They are beref of ideas, and receive millions and millions from Windscales or the nuclear industry (it's had so many different names I'm no longer sure what it's called) which they squander on "consultancy" fees and a variety of white elephants.

The "leader" of the council is some female who, to the best of my knowledge, has only ever actually worked for a living for about 5 years, prior to 'going on long-term disability' and then receiveing something like 28K a year for her duties as leader of the council.

meanwhile they are closing down anything they can, making it difficult for many to have their refuse collected etc etc etc

aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh can't be arsed

airship
4th Feb 2013, 14:40
Loose rivets, and why (since there are no wholly-British investors seriously interested in new UK nuclear-power generation projects anymore apparently), we should more or less allow the French companies an exclusive license to build and operate all new nuclear plants (backed by the French government) in UK forthwith... :ok:

The French entrepreneurs are apparently willing to take the risks of building new nuclear power generation facilities in the UK. And at the end of the day, even if the English (compared to the Scots who decided to stay on in the EU after 2017) were one day reduced to the equivalent of the Gaza Palestinians, the small distance between Dover and Calais should allow most of the English to still launch all their unguided rockets so as to hit some part of French territory, and feel good or at least have some respite... :E

Fox3WheresMyBanana
4th Feb 2013, 14:55
Oh, come off it. The private companies (I'm not being specifically anti-French here) will run the stations, rake off the profits, then let their UK subsidiaries go bust when the decommissioning costs balloon.

airship
4th Feb 2013, 15:03
You mean, just like all the private UK companies or whatever who've had anything to do with UK nuclear power generation over the past 60-70 years? So what changes if it's the French in future...?! At least these companies would be French, the Brits could blocade the English channel from all EU exports. Apart from allowing the importation of crooked EU-origin cucumbers until the crisis is over. :ok:

hellsbrink
4th Feb 2013, 15:36
Slight drift but anyone remember the spoof on the Quaker oats advert that showed kids with a warm glow halo round them going to schol?

Point of information

It was for Ready Brek

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/05/03/article-2138817-12E6A94C000005DC-810_468x330.jpg

west lakes
4th Feb 2013, 18:19
Jason and the Arguments

Not seen that one before, thanks The SSK

The "leader" of the council is some female who, to the best of my knowledge, has only ever actually worked for a living for about 5 years, prior to 'going on long-term disability' and then receiving something like 28K a year for her duties as leader of the council.

Now there's nothing wrong with her doing that., she's committed to Copeland or is it maintaining the family dynasty in local politics!!
(she is registered disabled after having a leg amputated a few years ago)

(One saving grace is she likes a pint of decent real ale)

Big Hammer
4th Feb 2013, 18:23
Liked the Jason one.

Thanks for the correction HB, might be able to find a link now, unless anyone has one to hand?

treadigraph
4th Feb 2013, 19:49
Children Glowing in the Dark in Wales (which is actually Windscale) - YouTube

Loose rivets
4th Feb 2013, 20:10
That led me on to the lovely Dr Stephenson. A few minutes with Not the 9oclock news is never wasted.

G&T ice n slice
5th Feb 2013, 20:19
and here's an example of our glorious leaderene and her politburo organising refuse collection
Cumbria residents forced to drag their wheelie bins for more than a MILE before Copeland Council bin lorries will collect it | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2273830/Cumbria-residents-forced-drag-wheelie-bins-MILE-Copeland-Council-bin-lorries-collect-it.html#axzz2K3nlk5vP)

and yet they've had millions and millions in various diguised subsidies from the Windscales organisations

ZOOKER
5th Feb 2013, 20:28
A splendid thread.
Are they not going to bury all that low-level stuff at Drigg? Bloody shame!
Them Cumbrians, they'll never notice. They eat sausages about a foot-an-a- half long.:E

flying lid
5th Feb 2013, 20:44
Cumbrian sausage factory.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/fd/Windscale-reactor.svg/400px-Windscale-reactor.svg.png

west lakes
5th Feb 2013, 20:50
our glorious leaderene and her politburo organising refuse collection

Ha but you don't know the best of it! The change to the collection arrangements came into force just after the local elections, at some event I commented to her about it!
The answer?
It's good political decisions, by the time the next elections come folk will be used to it and will have forgotten how annoyed it made them!!

G&T ice n slice
6th Feb 2013, 08:46
Thing is, we've got Haig pit - now closed- colmine that goes "X" miles out to sea... "X" because I've been told anything up to 10 miiles...

Anyhoo I would have thought that if they just kept mining the coal & extending the pit we could then bury the whole lot somewhere under Ireland, and they'd never know.....

p.s. the sossiges are "n" long where "n" is a real number greater than zero and less than or equal to the number you desire.

I have found that n = 3 feet 6 inches is just about right for 3 adults & 2 children
BUT the value of "n" varies with the value of "M" [mashed spuds] and the value of "S" [sticky chocolate pudding for afters].

If the children ("C") discover the value "S" this affects the value of "M" to be consumed and this indirectly varies the value of the original "n".

It's all very complicated

Big Hammer
6th Feb 2013, 09:39
Many thanks Treadigraph. :ok: