View Full Version : Inside leg measurement

30th Jan 2013, 15:45
I used to have mine taken from time to time, but not for years now.

What happened to all those squeaky voiced chaps?

I wonder where they work now.

Don't say TSA.

30th Jan 2013, 15:48
I wonder where they work now.

British Broadcasting Company I suspect.

30th Jan 2013, 16:01
British Broadcasting Company I suspect

The commercial company under that name was dissolved on 31st December 1926 after lasting just over 4 years, and was then replaced by the non-commercial and Crown Chartered British Broadcasting Corporation, which it remains to this day.

Mind you, I daresay you're right! ;)

30th Jan 2013, 16:29
What happened to all those squeaky voiced chaps?
Male cabin crew?

G&T ice n slice
30th Jan 2013, 16:51
Oh! Hello Mr Horn!

I'm Julian and this is my friend Sandy..

wings folded
30th Jan 2013, 16:51
Ahh, inside leg measurement.

Because of a deformity, I have a dramatically different measurement, depending on the leg.

So, when buying trousers, when the fellow sticks pins in the hem at the required height for the kecks to fall elegantly on the shoe, I invite him (could be her) to measure t' other leg while he is at it.

"Oh, no, we will use the same measure for both legs" is the usual response.

"Nay" said I recently during a purchase at a rather upmarket establishment, "my legs are not the same length"

The "Are you being served" Mr Humphreys overheard and asked if there was a problem.

"The gentleman has one leg longer than the other" explained the spotty youth.

"Not so", said I, "I have one leg shorter than the other"

Spotty youth was overcome with attempts at apologies (sorry Sir, I did not wish to offend you) until Mr Humphreys settled the matter by saying "It amounts to the same thing, you cūnt" with the last word sotto voce but loud enough for me to enjoy.

30th Jan 2013, 17:01
Some 15 years ago I was being measured for a suit in one of the well-known gentleman's shops along Jermyn St in London's Piccadilly, including the inside leg measurement and the ".....which side does Sir dress ?" by a man who was SO camp. He went off for a second to get some swatches of material and I jokingly said to his colleague "Blimey, it's Mr Humphreys from Are You Being Served?" when the colleague explained that the gentleman in question was the person that the actor John Inman had based his character on as they had been close friends for years. Both he and the situation were hilarious it has to be said. Top moment was when he pronounced "walk this way Sir!" whilst mincing in front in a very exaggerated fashion :}

For those outside the UK, it was a much loved 1970's sitcom :)


30th Jan 2013, 17:19
Did he offer you a belt at the back?


30th Jan 2013, 17:23

Very good story :O

One of the many good British comedy's.

30th Jan 2013, 17:35

Very good story

Thankyou! The gentleman in question looked as near as is possible to the beloved Mr Humphreys, same glasses hanging from a cord, same 3-piece slightly tight suit, same hair colour, it was all a bit surreal :p


30th Jan 2013, 17:47
That makes it even better :D :ok:

Surreal ? I can imagine :O

30th Jan 2013, 18:08
I have considered it unsuitable to re-tell the old story of how WAAFs were measured for trousers.

30th Jan 2013, 18:12
The commercial company under that name was dissolved on 31st December 1926

That dates me, then. An error on my part, although Mrs O. says not a mistake.

30th Jan 2013, 18:30
I used to have my inside leg measurement taken from time to time, but not for years now.
Some years ago I walked in a gent's outfitters intent on buying a jacket and some trousers.
Without applying a tape-measure the guy produced exactly my sizes off the rails!

He said that years of experience allowed him to accurately assess the sizes required by his customers.

Pointless snippet of information:- the shop was in K E Y N S H A M.

wings folded
30th Jan 2013, 18:37
He was using the infradraw method, then?

30th Jan 2013, 18:41

But did he know which side Sir dressed without asking :O

wings folded
30th Jan 2013, 18:43
But I suspect he was not married, and called Horace?

Joe Jingles
30th Jan 2013, 19:00
I can't afford to use the Grace Brothers type of store but, buying off the peg, what really irritates me is the way the clothing industry assumes that us blokes come in 2" increments. I quite like M&S stuff but they do 29"/31"/33" etc. Others do the even numbers... and I'm one of them. So to speak.

30th Jan 2013, 20:05
".....which side does Sir dress ?" by a man who was SO camp.
I've always wanted to reply "Straight up the middle my good man, I left 'em in the Falkland Islands" to that question, just to see the reaction.

30th Jan 2013, 20:12
called Horace?
I was, at the time, staying in Horace's house - which had become a guest house.

30th Jan 2013, 20:24
Not having one's inside leg measured of late, one is not up to date with the latest methods, though it seemed to have moved on from a finger embedded snugly next to the ceremonial gonads at the end of the measuring tape to the last foot of the tape being of a wooden stick to alleviate any charges of sexual molestation. It was never nice being felt up by an over enthusiastic tailor, their sweated brow and devious eyes enough to make the experience one to purge from the synapses asap :ooh:


30th Jan 2013, 20:43
I remember being quite shocked the first time, as a very young man, I had my inside leg measured....

...especially as I was looking for a sports coat at the time.

30th Jan 2013, 21:42


30th Jan 2013, 22:57
I am reminded of my formative years in a very small one teacher rural school in Australia when we were subjected to a 'health check' from the visiting female 'school doctors'.

Not much else is remembered of the procedure except there was a brief exploration by hand down the front of my underpants - presumably to check for completeness of equipment. :eek: Apparently I passed.

On reflection I could probably sue for sexual violation, but it was sixty years ago.

The whole process was repeated when I got to high school and was discussed with much retrospective hilarity by the boys over lunch under the nearby gum trees. Of greater interest by then was the occasional glimpse through poorly fitting curtains of the girls in the class readying for their checks in the adapted school library. Somebody had seen a bra draped over a chair ...now whose could it be?

It remained a topic of speculation for days....

Now back to inner leg measurements :)

31st Jan 2013, 04:23

31st Jan 2013, 10:12
I have considered it unsuitable to re-tell the old story of how WAAFs were measured for trousers.

Aaaawww, spoilsport. I don't suppose you'd like to reconsider?

31st Jan 2013, 10:22
how WAAFs were measured for trousers ... using a metre rule or similar IIRC .....:E

31st Jan 2013, 10:22
Sorry, Magnus - we have to remember the ladies wot moderate here

EDIT: tth has it.

31st Jan 2013, 16:45
When you've had the "now cough" hernia check, the inside leg measurement by the tailor holds no fears. Unless, of course, the tailor does both measurements at the same time.

31st Jan 2013, 19:17
What about a Thai tailoress?

She'll get her hands on your nuts faster than a monkey up a coconut tree.

1st Feb 2013, 20:51