View Full Version : Best Man Speech

9th Jan 2013, 22:59
So I'm best man for the first time in a few months, just planning some speech ideas.

One idea is to pretend I'm not good at public speaking, and therefore wish to do it the only way I know, as a public address as if addressing passengers on an aircraft. There are plenty of obvious puns about turbulence en route etc, just wondering if people think this idea would work at all?

9th Jan 2013, 23:03
So if you're not not good at public speaking, wouldn't that mean you ARE good at public speaking?

Seriously though, if you are good at speaking over the PA system, that's not the same as public speaking.

Your idea might work if you wear your captains uniform.

9th Jan 2013, 23:04
It depends on the clientèle - whether they are aviation-associated (or regular travellers) and whether the bride and groom are likewise.

Try not to be too corny though, as some people don't appreciate a smartarse.

9th Jan 2013, 23:22
Brainstorm your ideas
write them down
have a few sleep's
juggle best idea's around in your head, go for a good walk
remember it's about them, and not about you, chuck out the bad stuff
mentally rehearse your best lines
have a few beers and forget idea's
have another walk and reconstruct idea's
write it down, word for word.
rehearse verbally in front of an honest audience (children are particularly good at giving the best honest feedback)
rehearse, rehearse, rehearse
take script into wedding for backup
enjoy it, you'll be great 'specially if you follow this advice:)

9th Jan 2013, 23:41
Don't drink to make it easier/funnier, it'll be a toe-curling disaster if you do for which the happy couple will never forgive you for ruining their day, and avoid that elaborately prepared joke with girls getting up all over the room to hand over their key to the bridegroom's flat........it's so old that it's got mould on it.

If you are not already a top-rate comedian, remember that it takes years of practice to make an audience laugh with, and not at you. You are not a top-rate comedian; if you were you would be doing this for £1,500 a talk.

Keep it short, say what you want to say, an amusing short anecdote or two, and sit down when you've finished.

Above all be yourself.

Do not read from notes; it's a wedding, not a conference. But have some prompts ready to glance at if you dry up or lose your way. Don't worry about the pause while you do this, it's a good thing.

And remember the statutory bits; who to thank, what toast to propose and so on.

Oh, by the way, nice idea about the "public address" style, but trust me, it will NOT last as an amusing trick for more than 90 seconds. After a short while, it will just become irritating.

9th Jan 2013, 23:46
I'd agree. Be a bit naughty, but most of all, be nice. :)

9th Jan 2013, 23:53
Just post a draft and we'll all screw it up good and proper for you.

9th Jan 2013, 23:54
Oh, by the way, nice idea about the "public address" style, but trust me, it will NOT last as an amusing trick for more than 90 seconds. After a short while, it will just become irritating.

It depends on the clientèle - whether they are aviation-associated (or regular travellers) and whether the bride and groom are likewise.

Obviously these are my main concerns.

However, most of the guests will be flying to get to the wedding, so should have some fairly recent experience of a pilot PA.

On the other hand, I won't know half the people who are going, and they may just think I'm an ass for pointing out that I'm an airline pilot.

10th Jan 2013, 01:09

10th Jan 2013, 01:37
for your final review, make sure that everything implies you are in favour of the union, and there's nothing which might cause the bride or her parents to regret it.

10th Jan 2013, 02:20
If all else fails just get up and sing this -


Solid Rust Twotter
10th Jan 2013, 05:56
Palm it off onto some other poor sucker and maintain a low profile in a dark corner.

10th Jan 2013, 06:22
:) sounds like a real good idea to me. After all, a marriage has its turbulences etc. ...
Otherwise what Ginger and Capot said. As for the script - there has to be a very short one as well, prompts and numbered. If it's a long text, you won't find the right place.
In my mind it's a good idea to be honest and just tell so if you've forgotten something or feel nervous (but not too much about yourself!). Even like: "Well, I wanted to tell you a really good joke, but now I can't remember which one it was" is better than being embarrassed.
In the weddings around here the bride and groom say a few words about the guests (if not too many, or even then - as mostly about half of them do not know the other half), or sometimes the best man asks them take turns and tell everyone how they know the bride and/or groom [Slash, NO!:E]
And the most important thing for a best man - try to notice when people are enjoying the party already and do not disturb them any more :).
Good luck!

10th Jan 2013, 06:44
To stop the tendency to gabble type your speech in bold in font size 18+ and leave three lines between short paragraphs.

10th Jan 2013, 07:34
If the speech doesn't make you laugh... Then it's not funny and other people won't laugh.

10th Jan 2013, 07:39
Can't remember, who complements and thanks the Bridesmaids? Best Man? (and buys them a gold Rolex!).

For God's sake don't tell all the guests to look under their chair for an envelope with a photograph in it!:E

Right Way Up
10th Jan 2013, 08:19
My Wedding Speech - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/embed/27WufdasQYs)

Just make sure you don't have to follow this ;)

10th Jan 2013, 08:26
This might give you some inspiration. :rolleyes:

Father of The Bride Speech - Rowan Atkinson - YouTube

10th Jan 2013, 13:04
Not the bestman's speeech - but worth a laugh

Father of The Bride - Brendan Grace - YouTube (http://youtu.be/T-dFgQGT9wQ)

Lightning Mate
10th Jan 2013, 14:33
"It's nice to see so many nice ladies here today. John and I have been through a lot together.............."

10th Jan 2013, 14:38
These days, I'm surprised it's not a Powerpoint presentation.

Maybe you could do that and at the end give everyone a copy of the slides as their souvenir of the day...

10th Jan 2013, 14:40
To be fair, unless you're George Carlin, you'd be better off not trying to be funny.

People seem to think it's appropriate to be funny in these situations, but really, if you are just slightly off your timing, you'll be forever remembered as the bloke who screwed up my wedding. The bride will never forgive you, and that will mean that your 'best friend' will eventually stop being your friend.

10th Jan 2013, 14:51
Congratulations on your maiden voyage on the stormy sea of matrimony.

Please report depth, speed and position at 3am.

Lightning Mate
10th Jan 2013, 14:55
To be fair, unless you're George Carlin, you'd be better off not trying to be

Don't be silly!

10th Jan 2013, 16:29
Or you could sing it instead...

My Wedding Speech - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=27WufdasQYs)


10th Jan 2013, 16:46

Whatever you do, don't read any of the previous posts!!!!!!!!!!!

10th Jan 2013, 23:58
If you can't better Mel Smiths speech then my name isn't Mel Smith!



11th Jan 2013, 03:34
My best mate got married and used his best mate as best man. The guy lost his voice on the day and so muggins got dobbed in to substitute.
Running out of ideas we started reading the "telegrams"...
When I got to the one about the wife being an appliance that cooks,cleans and irons and just needs to be screwed to the wall once a week, things got real quiet. Still, the motto is is don't let an embarrassing moment stall you out. Forge on.

Cyber Bob
11th Jan 2013, 09:15
RTN 11
If you don't feel comfortable (Most people don't) speaking in public, just change the way you approach it. Best way forward is to use a script that can lead you through the speech. I'll give you two examples depending on the age/audience:

1. A 'This is your life' speech. If the audience can recall this programme, get your self a RED covered book then fill the pages with anecdotes, stories of the Groom or bride and read them out. In doing so, you can include members of the audience to participate by recalling funny events as if they were guests appearing on the show. You can make this as 'Tongue and Cheek' as you like and by having the book in your hand you have something to refer to so you don't dry up

2. The 'Jobsworth' approach. You make your excuses and go to another room. A friend gives you the nod when your speech is about to take place. You re-enter the room dressed as a Council worker/ Official with a clip board. You then go through a list of reasons why this event shouldn't go ahead. Opportunity to use as many put downs/jokes as possible about the groom, event etc. Again by having a clip board, there is something for you to refer to to combat nerves.

I've seen both done to fantastic effect however if you do so, you will need to do a lot of research and keep it light hearted and fun. Any put downs shouldn't be too near the knuckle.

HOWEVER - the best speech I ever saw/involved with was...........

Best man giving a traditional speech. Talking reasonably seriously about the importance of marriage, what it should mean to the new husband and wife and in society in general. How much they personally respected and valued the commitment they were making and this commitment is as precious as Gold........... as soon as he said the world "Gold", cue

"GOLD, Always believe in your soul
You've got the power to know
You're indestructable..............." song from Spandau Ballet came blearing over the speakers and everyone at the reception (Including a 93 year Old Grandmother) got up and danced in a flash mob style. Everyone knew the lyrics and everyone danced the same routine. The Bride and Groom were speechless and the impact was truely amazing. Logistically, it was a big ask and even more so to keep this a secret but the effect was absolutely stunning. In this instance, everyone still talks about it some 3 years later and also we had the good sense to video it which was given to the Bride and Groom.

Whichever you choose just be as prepared as you can be and don't be afraid to use prompts

Good luck fella
CB :ok:

Ancient Observer
11th Jan 2013, 12:46
The bridegroom went to the Doctor just before the wedding as he had a cough. The Doctor did all the normal and proper tests. The Doctor said he couldn't find anything really wrong with the bridegroom. "It must be the drink" he added.
The bridegroom said to the Doctor, "That's all right, Doc, I'll come back when you are sober"

When I was best man, the bride and her rellies ruined my speech by banning all the best bits. Short speech was the result.

11th Jan 2013, 16:00

Whist not appropriate to you I have been best man four times.

After the first one I had to say congratulations to my brother on his second.

On his third one how we all laughed when I remarked that I was blessed again having the honour of being best man.

You get the picture regarding the fourth!