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View Full Version : If I was to ban anything I would ban?


Cacophonix
8th Jan 2013, 22:36
Perfumes called Charlie (I suspect I am showing my age).

Anybody mentioning guns will be "ahem" shot! ;)

What would you ban if you had the chance?

Caco

Milo Minderbinder
8th Jan 2013, 22:37
Cats........

con-pilot
8th Jan 2013, 22:38
People that want to ban cats. :p

Slasher
8th Jan 2013, 23:01
Ceiling cats!

Checkboard
8th Jan 2013, 23:01
I love cats.

Perhaps not as much as this girl:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc

Fox3WheresMyBanana
8th Jan 2013, 23:01
Advertising

Backtrack
8th Jan 2013, 23:09
Fluorescent tabards.

Lord Spandex Masher
8th Jan 2013, 23:09
Banning..........

Dushan
8th Jan 2013, 23:22
Speech advocating banning of guns.







Kidding, kidding....

I don't want to ban anything. Things I don't like, I simply avoid. There are things that bug me that I cannot avoid. I accept that there are things that are not always fair.

Dushan
8th Jan 2013, 23:24
Ceiling cats!

Slasher, welcome back. Nice to see you.

I would have thought your answer would be "bras".

Cacophonix
8th Jan 2013, 23:24
Dushan

Toujours l'agent provocateur! :p

Caco

Dushan
8th Jan 2013, 23:26
C'est moi!

Cacophonix
8th Jan 2013, 23:31
Bien sur! :ok:

Caco

Slasher
8th Jan 2013, 23:43
Yep bras too Dushan, but I thought everybody wanted 'em banned!


http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTuBsbbR6I7DBCsFu3ltmAZ808U9Lv6OIaXk8EzYvS yb-0BxmgF0w

Cacophonix
8th Jan 2013, 23:47
He is back and she's all in her cups! ;)

Caco

Dushan
8th Jan 2013, 23:55
This one was worth waiting for you to come back Slasher. Thank you.

Lucerne
8th Jan 2013, 23:59
Cities. They are bad news.

dat581
9th Jan 2013, 00:54
Political Correctness

ExSp33db1rd
9th Jan 2013, 02:08
Use of right hand indicators approaching a roundabout ( in the appropriate countries of course )

pigboat
9th Jan 2013, 02:25
I would have thought your answer would be "bras".
It will be when he gets the e-mail I sent him earlier this evening. :D

FullOppositeRudder
9th Jan 2013, 03:55
Visible tattoos

stumpey
9th Jan 2013, 04:33
Football............it just brings out the Animal in too many people.

Solid Rust Twotter
9th Jan 2013, 06:04
Free will...:rolleyes::hmm:

uffington sb
9th Jan 2013, 06:12
Caravans ( being towed on the roads).

People indicating right approaching/ going round a around about and then going straight on.

Intolerance. All intolerant people should be rounded up and shot.

probes
9th Jan 2013, 06:14
yellow media as the worst form of advertising.

Tableview
9th Jan 2013, 06:48
Smoking.

People standing close to me in public places and share their body odours with me.

Publicity of all descriptions of football and anyone connected with it.

Communism and socialism.

Lefties, pinkos, and the PC nutters.

Religion.

Computer games.

Foie Gras.

Women who wear revealing tops and get upset when you sneak a look!

Lightning Mate
9th Jan 2013, 06:51
Accident management companies.

Tableview
9th Jan 2013, 07:20
Women as stupid and vacuous as this one :
http://www.pprune.org/7619291-post21.html

I would not even want to shag her. I have found in life that generally more intelligent women are better in bed. I admit to some notable exceptions, one being an SAA stewardess who provided me with much physical pleasure about once a week for a year or so. Fortunately, the rest of the time she was away so I did not have to listen to her inane and uninformed chatter. She had never read a book or even a magazine in her life, in fact I'm not sure if she had ever read anything apart from the in flight safety announcements.

Lightning Mate
9th Jan 2013, 07:25
Is this post in the correct thread?

B Fraser
9th Jan 2013, 07:38
Steve Wright in the afternoon.

Lightning Mate
9th Jan 2013, 07:41
"I'm a Celebrity - get me out of here"

"Celebrity Big Brother"

4x4s

The SSK
9th Jan 2013, 07:43
People with more than the average number of opinions.

Hang on, that wouldn't work.

waveskimmer
9th Jan 2013, 07:44
BBC radio Surrey,for axing Roger Day and employing gibbering idiots as presenters the rest of the time

Lightning Mate
9th Jan 2013, 07:49
All newspapers except the Telegraph.

......oh oh, here we go.....

Alloa Akbar
9th Jan 2013, 07:55
The French.

treadigraph
9th Jan 2013, 07:55
People who stand in the middle on escalators.

Lightning Mate
9th Jan 2013, 08:04
The French.

:D:D:D:D......

Dr Jekyll
9th Jan 2013, 08:20
Morris dancing

Alloa Akbar
9th Jan 2013, 08:24
Any kind of dancing is gay.

Real blokes don't dance.. end of.

probes
9th Jan 2013, 08:39
guys who claim (as an excuse, of course) dancing is gay.

Rwy in Sight
9th Jan 2013, 08:48
Drivers without any SA that refuse to let other drivers pass them. Drivers that double park and the ones who bloke handicap access.

In general those demostrating selfish anti-social behaviour.

Rwy in Sight

RedhillPhil
9th Jan 2013, 08:56
Sniffers on trains. For f**k's sake buy a packet of tissues and blow your snivelling dripping nose.

I'm with B Fraser on this one. Get shot of Steve (I wish I was American) Wright in the afternoon. His show is so much better when he's away and Chris Tarrant deputises.

Stupid made-up words. The collective noun for signs is "signing" not bloody signage. No-one makes their "directorial debut", they make their debut as a director. And what is it with people who want to spell a perfectly good name wrongly to make themselves sound important?

zab
9th Jan 2013, 09:07
Royalty

Kings, queens, princes don't belong in this century.

Cost a bloody fortune and contribute zip....put them to work in a real job at normal salary

stuckgear
9th Jan 2013, 09:08
Women who wear revealing tops and get upset when you sneak a look!

here you go tableview (and slasher)

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/a-underboob-gallery-15.jpg

from the underboob gallery.

MagnusP
9th Jan 2013, 09:30
Another Chive fan! Splendid.

radeng
9th Jan 2013, 09:32
Bernard Shaw described dancing as 'Vertical expression of horizontal desire'.
On one famous occasion before she became mrs radeng, when asked by a female acquaintance why we we weren't dancing, I quoted. Mrs radeng then said 'We prefer the horizontal bit instead'. Acquaintance looked suitably shocked, while mrs r. doesn't know to this day why she said that!

charliegolf
9th Jan 2013, 10:08
Bikes on roads. Their riders are t***s.

CG

Shaggy Sheep Driver
9th Jan 2013, 11:09
Anyone who uses 'end of' after stating an opinion.

'Personal stereos' that aren't.

Most dogs as domestic pets (as opposed to dogs who work, which is great). I say 'most' because unusually there are some dog owners who are up to the job (most aren't) and have obediant dogs that behave properly off-lead (most don't).

Middle lane hoggers.

People who turn off a roundabout while indicating 'right' (surprisingly common in UK).

'Celebrity'.

Gordon Brown.

Motorists who cut up cyclists (it's just bullying. I wonder how agressive they'd be if not ensconced in a steel, powered, cage?).

Tableview
9th Jan 2013, 11:11
Oafs who cycle on the pavement without regard for pedestrians.

Alloa Akbar
9th Jan 2013, 11:27
Closet ballroom dancers who don't want to admit it but give away their feelings through being baited by certain posts.. :E

Octopussy2
9th Jan 2013, 11:35
Swiss drivers.
French drivers.

OR make them go on compulsory courses designed to teach them that, when entering a roundabout intending to take the third exit, YOU NEED TO BLOODY INDICATE.

In fact, a course on the use of indicators in general.

All the unnecessary traffic lights in Geneva (ie. about half of them).

Lord Spandex Masher
9th Jan 2013, 11:47
Oafs who cycle on the pavement without regard for pedestrians.

I always find a shoulder to the ribs to be sufficient to encourage them to ride on the road.

Seldomfitforpurpose
9th Jan 2013, 11:52
Italian drivers, no Italian should ever ever ever be allowed access to any form of motorised vehicle, feckin wankers the lot of them :}

Shaggy Sheep Driver
9th Jan 2013, 11:56
Italian drivers, no Italian should ever ever ever be allowed access to any form of motorised vehicle

My experience having motorcycled a lot in Italy is that Italian drivers drive very fast and very close to other vehicles... but lack the skill to do that safely.

treadigraph
9th Jan 2013, 11:56
Any road user who ignores traffic lights and pedestrian crossings.

Most dogs as domestic pets

The yapping terriers living either side of me are first on the list!

phnuff
9th Jan 2013, 11:58
Stuckgear - it looks even better if you sort of put your head on the computer desk and look up !!

Cyclists on trains (even the idiots with folding bikes which take up standing space)

People with wheeled cases who forget how long they are and just generally get in the way

treadigraph
9th Jan 2013, 12:05
People with wheeled cases

I think that was all you needed to say!

People who attempt to board trains while other passengers are still getting off. Particularly those who whinge when they are pushed backwards onto the platfrom.

RedhillPhil
9th Jan 2013, 12:19
I think that was all you needed to say!

People who attempt to board trains while other passengers are still getting off. Particularly those who whinge when they are pushed backwards onto the platfrom.

It's very often me doing the pushing. I hate them too. Just plain bad manners and inconsideration.

Octopussy2
9th Jan 2013, 13:01
Or people who stand shoulder-to-shoulder on the platform when the tube doors open, leaving those wishing to alight (thus allowing said idiots on the platform room to get on) no room whatsover to do so.

I find simply stepping out onto whomever happens to be in the way an effective way to deal with this (barring small children and the elderly/infirm obviously - though they tend to have more sense).

Limeygal
9th Jan 2013, 13:14
Spandex-it's not a miracle fabric :eek::yuk:

CaptainSAC
9th Jan 2013, 13:19
Backpacks!! Whats the story here?? - How can you forget you've got a bloody great big thing on your back when you try to barge past me with it on in a narrow corridor. Sorry, if I knocked you over instead!!

Alloa Akbar
9th Jan 2013, 13:47
Spandex - it's not a miracle fabric

It IS you know..

http://www.pickyourbridaldresses.com/proimg/big/A1/B40/CheapSwimwearSpandexPolyesterOne-PieceMonokiniPinkOnline30-69OffLS101453-0.jpg

rgbrock1
9th Jan 2013, 14:38
Republicans.

Ozzy
9th Jan 2013, 14:49
Anyone that wants to ban things...

Ozzy

Lightning Mate
9th Jan 2013, 17:41
ALL immigrants - we've got enough problems as it is.

.....and I ain't racist, just sensible and logical.

Whilst we're at it, how about the EU and all those Euro MPs who suck lots of expenses!

Sunnyjohn
9th Jan 2013, 17:52
Cars. And while we're at it,cars.

Dak Man
9th Jan 2013, 18:08
Celery, oh and Taxation and maybe liquorice.

Abraham Zapruder
9th Jan 2013, 22:27
Reality TV shows.

Kardashy-whatevers etc.

ExSp33db1rd
9th Jan 2013, 23:08
Kardashy-whatevers etc.

Who ?

OK, I know, just making a point

Lord Spandex Masher
9th Jan 2013, 23:16
Spandex-it's not a miracle fabric :eek::yuk:

Wanna bet?

gingernut
9th Jan 2013, 23:31
War&hatred. I'm a little feeble minded, but can't we use all that effort to either help each other, or at the very least, tolerate each other.

Otherwise f'ck all, we're a better place for disagreeing.

Oh, okay, one thing.... BMW's.:)

Old Photo.Fanatic
9th Jan 2013, 23:45
Wimmin drivers who allways drive at 10 mph below any signed speed limit. :ugh:
Wimmin drivers who stop at empty roundabouts.:=
I could go on but now fear for my life!!!!

OPF

notmyC150v2
9th Jan 2013, 23:56
Anyone who walks around in public with their pants dangling around their knees. Take'em out and shoot 'em.

ExSp33db1rd
10th Jan 2013, 06:03
Wimmin drivers who ...........

Women drivers

sitigeltfel
10th Jan 2013, 06:18
Sheeple who stand hard up against the baggage carousel at airports, blocking access to your case.

probes
10th Jan 2013, 06:28
matching pink and red in close proximity.

TWT
10th Jan 2013, 06:51
Idiots on aircraft who don't prepare by taking off their jackets,pulling their book or whatever out of their bag before they board,thereby making everyone wait in the aisle while they faff around.Idiots who board aircraft with a bag on their shoulder and walk down the aisle clobbering the heads of everyone already seated :ugh:

ExSp33db1rd
10th Jan 2013, 07:10
Sheeple who stand hard up against the baggage carousel at airports, blocking access to your case.

Exactly !! But with a bit of practice you can emulate Boadicea and wipe a lot of them off their feet as you swing yours violently off the belt. ( if you can get at yours of course )

Such fun.

I did once suggest to one airport staff that they walk around with a Taser, and zapp all those standing nearer than a couple of metres. They didn't take up my suggestion, but if I ever become an Airport Manager ........

Just why can't they stand back until they can see their bag ? or at least one like it, they all seem to be the same hard black canvas wheeled jobs now - like they were once all blue Globetrotters, then grey Oysters, maybe there is a University Degree in the Science of Choosing Ones Luggage That Looks Like Everyone Else's. I've customised the look of mine, who cares what it looks like? ( Mrs. ExS for one - but tough ! it's a tool, not a fashion statement. )

MagnusP
10th Jan 2013, 09:12
Sheeple who stand hard up against the baggage carousel at airports

There's a worse breed. Those who push a trolley hard up against the carousel, and stand behind the f:mad:g thing.

Kiltrash
10th Jan 2013, 10:01
Escallators. when people get off and stop to think where they are going next, left, right, forward!

Prisons, total waste of time, if you are convicted of any crime its time spent on local services, pot hol filling, road sweeping, if they dont turn up cut off social payments, or limb!

Car Tax Disc, just put it on Petrol

ANY reality TV show, or Day Time show! No TV before 5pm!!, unless its real News

24/7 shopping, if you cant plan your day

Any cold calling or PPI etc salespersons

1DC
10th Jan 2013, 10:09
Women who scream..NOW.. at the top of their voices every time they talk to their kids. "Get Here, NOW"...."Stop That, NOW" etc..

cavortingcheetah
10th Jan 2013, 10:16
Voting rights for people who were not payers of income or property tax.

Tableview
10th Jan 2013, 10:53
Women who scream..NOW.. at the top of their voices every time they talk to their kids. "Get Here, NOW"...."Stop That, NOW" etc..

Allowing such people to give their brats names that end in a vowel sound, as in :
"Chardonnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, come 'ere"
"Kyliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie, ge' inside now"

Alloa Akbar
10th Jan 2013, 11:06
Traffic Police

ATNotts
10th Jan 2013, 11:51
Inappropriate use of the word "like"

"Like I was just reading this thread and like I thought, how about like if I posted a comment about the work like, like"!

It appears to be about the only word British yoof has in it's vocab these days!

The SSK
10th Jan 2013, 11:58
Lightning Mate: ALL immigrants

Will that be retrospective?
Please don't force me to be repatriated to the UK. Please

Fox3WheresMyBanana
10th Jan 2013, 12:06
I'm not coming back either..

"You don't need to see our identification. These aren't the ex-pats you're looking for.."


"Leave it out, LM, they're not worf it"


.

TZ350
10th Jan 2013, 21:03
" Allowing such people to give their brats names that end in a vowel sound, as in :
"Chardonnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, come 'ere"
"Kyliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie, ge' inside now"

Even better, banning such people from breeding.............:E

Cacophonix
10th Jan 2013, 23:40
TZ350

I agree... no Ky... not even old Victor...

1988 Remington Razor Commercial (with Victor Kiam) - YouTube

As for girls called Kylie. Not one of my daughter for sure...

But she is cute...


(Damned Aussies)...

Caco