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Tartan Gannet
14th Apr 2002, 22:05
Prompted by another thread I have to ask, do Jet Blasters prefer Cats, as I do, or Dogs , both, or even dislike pets in total.

Please vote on the poll and if you wish, give your opinions and observations.

Meiow, purr, etc.

tinyrice
14th Apr 2002, 22:51
Basset Hounds...................the aviation antidote!

pigboat
15th Apr 2002, 00:50
Mini schnauzers. Totally insane little bug***s, but great little dogs nonetheless.:)

henry crun
15th Apr 2002, 01:06
Had a Bassett once, lovable sort of a pooch but an absolute idiot on the road.
It just followed its nose and thought the traffic would stop for it !

After that a lovely blue Burmese that gave me a new perspective on cats. He retained the playfulness of a kitten into old age, defended his patch with a ferocity that made dogs flee in terror, and liked nothing more than a warm lap to cuddle up to.

I wouldn't have swopped him for anything.

Blacksheep
15th Apr 2002, 03:59
Ah the Burmese! I have the wreckage of an ancient Burmese. His arthritis stops him from being kittenish any more but he keeps two dogs as pets [though he leaves the feeding and vet bills to me] and loves to curl up next to their bellies for a nap. Other dogs approach him at their peril - he has a fine collection of dog noses in his corner - most of the neighbourhood dogs are terrified of him and have odd snuffly barks. "Wooth, wooth!"

**************************
Through difficulties to the cinema

scran
15th Apr 2002, 04:06
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid.
My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call “beer..” More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

SpinSpinSugar
15th Apr 2002, 08:58
That was a quality post Scran, pretty much spot on!

:D

Cats for me. They don't smell of dog.

FlyingForFun
15th Apr 2002, 10:50
The difference between dogs and cats???

A dog looks at his owner, and says "He feeds me, he houses me, he looks after me - he's wonderful!"

A cat looks at his owner, and says "He feeds me, he houses me, he looks after me - I must be wonderful!"

FFF
-------------

(Dogs, by the way - except I'm allergic to dogs and cats, so can't keep either)

Pandora
15th Apr 2002, 12:08
Just come in from the garden and had to pick cat poo from under my fingernails due to the habit of next doors cats [email protected] only in my garden. Before I sat down at my computer made sure all downstairs windows were closed. Wouldn't want the little gits to eat my birdie, like they did with the last one. And I don't take too kindly to having the contents of my rubbish bin being spread half way down the street, either.

Dogs win hands down, especially dogs that chase cats.

fantom
15th Apr 2002, 13:10
catz are a waste of space and they kill little creatures.they should all be gassed.
dogs are members of families.:p

JudyTTexas
15th Apr 2002, 19:03
I like cats, I like dogs.
I like cows, I like hogs.

I like ducks, I like chickens.
I like turtles and little lizards.

I like horses, I like mules.
In fact I think, all Pets Rule!


...takes a bow and sits down. ;)

Tin Kicker
15th Apr 2002, 23:03
Cat & dog watching their owner put up a bookshelf.


Dog thinks: "That's a beautiful shelf. It's a work of art. You've done such a fantastic job. I love that shelf. You're the greatest."

Cat thinks: "I wouldn't have done it like that."


Cats are ace :p

radeng
16th Apr 2002, 07:16
A dog is far more of a commitment than a cat. A cat can be left for 24 hours with food, and it's easier to get someone to come and feed the cat than it is to get someone to feed and walk the dog.

Cats will always expand to fill the space available, and if it's your bed, that's your problem.

Cats have a degree of awkwardness available to them that outweighs anything that women or incompetent managers can ever hope to achieve.

spam
16th Apr 2002, 08:16
cats are vermin who kill our native animals and cause havok with the ecosystems and they should all be sterilised so they become extinct. disgusting animals.

anyway what's the point of a companion who you can't go swimming with?

dogs are the best, better than most humans. dogs can talk, but chose not to.

Sir_Lurkalot
16th Apr 2002, 09:30
fantom/spam

when was the last time a kitty ripped the face off of a child? Killed a grown woman in the lobby of her apartment block?

Tricky Woo
16th Apr 2002, 15:41
...or nicked ten quid out of your wallet?

Eh?

TW

fantom
16th Apr 2002, 15:43
cummon Sir L....this is jetblast. come and meet my hound.he will lick you to death - unless you like catz.....:p

Tartan Gannet
16th Apr 2002, 16:41
I dont really LIKE dogs to be honest but DONT wish them to be eradicated, realising the pleasure they give to many, and in the case of Guide Dogs, Police Dogs, Anti Drug Sniffer Dogs etc, the help they give to humans.

Now should those who HATE cats as Spam and some others seem to do be sterilised so that they die out in time? Now would we be any worse off?

A thought. Hitler hated cats and loved dogs. Makes you think!

Hersham Boy
16th Apr 2002, 17:17
Hurrah for cats. They're winning and my two haven't even voted yet...

Hold at Saffa
16th Apr 2002, 17:23
I agree with fantom.

max_cont
16th Apr 2002, 19:15
Funny that spam, the only domestic animals I’ve ever been forced to shoot have been dogs.

You know the type. Those completely harmless dogs owned by Mr & Mrs Bloggs from up the road. The ones who walk the dogs and let them run free and don’t realise that what Rover and Petra are actually doing, is hunting. The same Rover and Petra who then at the first opportunity escape and return to the local farm and kill livestock.

The owners of course flatly refuse to believe that it’s their harmless pets that are savaging pigs, sheep chickens deer etc.

They continue to believe this right up to the day when Rover and Petra don’t return home.

RW-1
16th Apr 2002, 20:20
I always wanted an electric eel as a pet, but unfortunately they do not walk well..... :rolleyes:

fantom
16th Apr 2002, 20:27
sir L and max cont should be banned forthwith on account of the slight against hounds.

tg on probation..

falps is the judge.

:rolleyes:

briteandbreezy
16th Apr 2002, 22:23
A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest.

The vet looked at the man, shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."

"What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!" With that, the vet turned and left the room.

A few moments later, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said, "Woof."

The vet then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, "Meow." He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room.

The vet then handed the man a bill for £600

The dog's owner went ballistic. "SIX HUNDRED POUNDS??... Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is Outrageous!"

The vet shook his head sadly and explained..... "If you had taken my word for it, it would have been £50.................




...........But with the Lab work and the cat scan..." ;) :p

G.Khan
17th Apr 2002, 12:33
I am unashamedly a dog lover, (who keeps and feeds two cats!), any dog owner should KNOW that dogs will hunt, given the chance. A sheep dog isn't rounding up sheep for fun, it's basic instinct is a hunting one. Dog owners should keep their dogs under control and if they let them out and they worry livestock then they should expect them to be shot, sad but true.

As I type and before it gets light again here in Australia domestic cats will have needlessly slaughtered over 8,400 birds and small animals before returning home to be fed, same again tomorrow night, sad but true:(

Cornish Jack
17th Apr 2002, 13:16
Don't think one can better the Aussie(?) bumper sticker reported here a year or so back:-
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff" :)
Seems to me that the liking for a particular animal species reflects the person's qualities. Dog owners have a need for unqualified affection which dogs readily provide - "I just love my owner no matter how badly he/she treats me."
Cat staff, however, have to live up to their animals expectations in terms of food, comfort, recreation etc. If they don't, the moggie will go find a person or persons who WILL deliver.
I like both, but much prefer the unyielding independence of the feline. For other cat-lovers, a tip which may be useful. The little laser pointers, available at market stalls (£2.50-ish) are marvellous cat toys. They will chase the red spot endlessly (well, for a couple of minutes until boredom sets in). Previously they have not tumbled to where the irritating little 'insect' comes from but one of my friend's latest acquisitions is a right little 'smart-ass' and has cottoned on right away. Result? Endless hovering around where the pointer is stored and much vocal requesting that the 'entertainment staff' do what they are there for. :D :D

Tartan Gannet
17th Apr 2002, 15:25
Yes Cornish Jack, a human cannot OWN a cat, but as I know it can most surely own you. I like the expression, a Cat's Staff!

HugMonster
17th Apr 2002, 20:49
Hmmmm - which do I prefer - cats or dogs...?

Having never tasted either, it's difficult to say. Probably more meat on most dogs.

pilotwolf
17th Apr 2002, 21:54
The more people I meet - the more I love my dog!

I would never hurt a cat - indeed was extremely upset when my wife's cat passed away - still he did behave more like a dog! (Orca - R.I.P.)

My dog has been with me through thick and thin, relationships, marriage and break ups.

At least my dog is well behaved, he doesn't dig up my neighbours' gardens, he doesn't c**p in their flower beds, he doesn't p*** against their dustbins or porches, he doesn't scream all night long, he doesn't repeatedly kick a ball against my windows or my car, he doesn't spray graffitti on walls, he doesn't mug old people, he doesn't curse or swear, he doesn't do drugs or smoke, he doesn't steal or rape, he doesn't carry a knife or gun, he just gives unconditional love and pleasure to me and many others.

AND no matter what sort of day I ve had, how many a'holes I dealt with he is still pleased to see me - how many cats or humans can match that.

Yeah, sad I know but do I give a s**t?

NO! I ll just hug my dog and say s**** the human race!

P.S. Doesn't the poll say it all?

:rolleyes:

Tartan Gannet
17th Apr 2002, 22:21
Okey, some cat hater with too much computer knowledge has hacked in and made a mockery of this poll. Fine, I know that cats were narrowly ahead until that point.

Whoever you are, may you suffer a massive and uncontollable attack of diarrhea on a suburban train with no toilet and totally disgrace yourself!
:mad: :mad: :mad: .

On a more sensible vein, I would be obliged if someone would develop the point raised concerning the different personalities of cat lovers against dog lovers as this could be an interesting idea.

Send Clowns
17th Apr 2002, 22:25
Oi!!! Who's cheating? Can't take the fact that most of us prefer cats?

Tartan Gannet
18th Apr 2002, 04:54
SC, we beg to differ on Economics and Industrial policies but we both like Moggies. GOOD!

I am annoyed that somone has skewed the poll as I genuinely wanted to see if there was any bias one way or tother on JB between the two.

TTFN

TG

MrWoollie
18th Apr 2002, 08:15
MrWoollie (the real one, not me) says WOOF!

MrWoollie may be an old, arthritic, degenerative bone disease, one blue eyed, with a broken leg Border Collie who doesn't know he's moving 1/2 way around the world in a few months type of guy.... but he knows what to do with cats.... chase them.

Despite this I think someone's cheating.. 775 views and over 4000 votes. The BLF/CFMEU/TWU/WWF etc would be pround.

AerBabe
18th Apr 2002, 13:36
A dog is not just for Christmas...


... with any luck there'll be some left for New Year!


I like both... but with a slight preferance for dogs... esp. Huskies :)

SpinSpinSugar
18th Apr 2002, 14:10
Agree with the Huskey thing AB. I don't mind intelligent mutts, and as various scientists have detailed over the years, the further breeding takes a dog away from a wolf, the thicker it gets. Got no problem with Huskies, Shepards, Collies, other working dogs, all bright things, fairly predictable and personalities you can work with.

I dislike the yappy little bsatards and the unpredictable dangerous breeds like rottweilers and pitbulls.

You always know where you stand with a cat.

HugMonster
18th Apr 2002, 20:08
Something tells me there is a dog-loving moderator around! :D

Send Clowns
18th Apr 2002, 21:33
Indeed, TG :D

SSS - agree entirely abot such working dogs. Still prefer wilful, independent cats though. Had an idea once that it connected with the girls you prefer - wilful and independent or soppy and clinging. Works with my preferences (as all who know AB will agree ;) )

Standard Noise
19th Apr 2002, 10:24
Sorry, it's unashamedly dogs for me. There's nothing like a 6.5 stone black lab bounding up the hallway, teeth gnashing, growling like a ferrari, to scare off the postman/hawkers/gypos etc.
Even better when you open the front door and shout "go get'em Lucifer!" just for added effect (although we call her Lucy).
Then once the disturbance has passed, she returns to being a soppy, placid foot warmer, slobbering when the tea and biscuits appear. Can't remember the last time I heard of a cat like that.

Send Clowns
19th Apr 2002, 10:42
I've met one or two cats very much like that!

Paterbrat
19th Apr 2002, 13:22
It's horses for courses. In Africa wide open spaces, big gardens, and a need for security, dogs was good. In Saudi, compound, small accomodation, locals thinking dogs are dirty animals, cats come into their own.
Previous posters have of course summed up the two creatures perfectly, and for the most part the two fulfill admirabley the niche in humans lives so conveniently left for the symbiotic existance we enjoy with whichever one, or both, of these companions we choose. There does seem to be a positive feedback from the co-existance for those who choose to do it.
Cats and dogs seem probably to be the commonest but humans certainly seem to have a capacity to want to have a relationship with another sentient creature, (Pet Rocks was after all a passing craze). Pet Elephants don't seem to be too popular, a bit big whales even less, so but then again not too many of us have a Ffiord at the bottom of our garden.'Willie' incidently seems not to want to be free, it seems he likes humans, but then again he may think he is one.
Our own likes and dislikes TG are probably the result of childhood conditioning, and personal circumstance. I personaly tend to feel a tiny bit leery of someone who doesn't like any animal at all.
I also feel that there is some truth to two old adages, suspicion of someone whom neither dogs or children like, and the fact that cats peversely make for the person in the room who least like them when under the watchful eye of their owner, but avoid them like the plague outside.
Like them both had em both. Had good ones and duff ones of both kind, the characters we loved, the others we tolerated.
Wouldn't be without one or tother if I could help it.

HugMonster
19th Apr 2002, 22:06
One wonders quite how 4,311 votes managed to be cast in the poll when (at time of writing) this thread has only been viewed 1,007 times... :D

Tartan Gannet
20th Apr 2002, 07:52
She's gettting a bit old now, but in her prime, Kizzy, my former cat, ( a Tortoiseshell), now residing with the ex missus, was quite adept at seeing off anyone she didnt like.

Sure, she didnt have the power of a large guard dog, but I have seen her see a German Shepherd off out of the garden, chase a Jehovahs Witness off the door step and get her own back on a cat hating visitor. Conversely, she was like a soft cuddly toy with kiddies, allowing them to do things which would have earned a bite or a clawing for an adult, and was loved by the old folks at the nursing home of which my ex-wife was Matron. On the way back from the vets on time after her annual check up we took Kizzy on her basket to the home. The Oldies were delighted with the "lovely pussycat" and asked my missus to take her in from time to time.

Kizzy is old now (14) and I dont suppose she will be with us much longer, but this little creature has given pleasure and companionship to many in her time. I will certainly shed a tear when she goes to the Great Pet Shop in the sky.

BTW. Slasher never told us if he got another moggie out in 'Nam to replace his old cat who died last year.

Paterbrat
20th Apr 2002, 23:37
TG I had a friend next door who's wife had a cat who he loathed. She insisted on feeding it various gourmet bits and bobs at great cost and he was always groaning that it cost him a fortune. Lived to nearly twenty before I lost track of them. Cat was still going strong and he still moaning like a good-un at the cost, lose hairs, fur balls and other little annoyances, so Kizzy could be around a while.

pigboat
21st Apr 2002, 01:49
www.catenema.com/cat1.html :)

Gomer
21st Apr 2002, 06:39
How to give a cat a pill


Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's fore arm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill:

Wrap it in bacon.

Standard Noise
22nd Apr 2002, 18:47
TG - I have to concede, any moggy who sees off the Jehovahs can't be all bad!

redsnail
23rd Apr 2002, 11:54
Yeah, I have owned (if you can say that) a couple of cats. Grew up with dogs, chickens, birds, a blue tongue lizard and more cats.
All characters that's for sure.
The Black Cat was our guard cat. She used to alert Mum when I wandered off. I did that a lot! (when I was 2)
Pichit the Siamese, the party cat. Loved a crowd and used to fight dogs. He never bit or scratched us and he really liked the Basset hound we had.
Smiley was the basset hound. A better dog for kids you'll never find. A sweet tempered animal. Solid but on little legs.
The Blue Tongued lizard wasn't that interactive but liked scrambled eggs.

I had a little female tortoiseshell cat. Lovely little cat. She used to see off dogs and she copped a viscious kick off some burglers. (I saw off the burglers). When the cops finally turned up she was standing at the door, ears flattened and the tail swishing around.
They asked me to call off the cat. :D

We aquired a ginger male tabby in Broome. We called him Humpy because he shagged the furniture. He liked car surfing and chasing dogs.

Dogs are great but I really like cats. :cool:

Feline
23rd Apr 2002, 21:42
Well, I see we still have a felinephobic hacker in our midst - sad pillock.

TG -- I wouldn't count Kizzy out at 14 - my eldest is a spry 19 and still going strong, especially when it's time for food (otherwise she spends most of the day sleeping and having the most amazing technicolour dreams). And her seventeen year-old sister also spends a goodly part of her day asleep, but is not above giving her very much younger - and bigger - sister a good slap when she's out of order. The youngest, Tao (aptly rhymes with cow!) delights in ambushing her older sisters -- who do not appreciate it one little bit.

Obviously - with my log-in - I don't really have to declare a vested interest.

My cats bring me much pleasure - and I note with interest and new respect some of the other cat lovers on this thread - Hi Redsnail!

pilotwolf
24th Apr 2002, 21:06
At the risk of dragging this into the gutter....

How many of us men have slept with a 'Nice Pussy Cat' compared to those who have sleep with a 'Dirty Old Dog'???

And which one was more fun!!!!!!!!!!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Tartan Gannet
3rd May 2002, 05:00
Im delighted that a survey published today finds that Cats have overtaken Dogs in the UK as the most popular pet.


:) :) :) :) :)

brit bus driver
3rd May 2002, 11:21
A little long, but quite on the mark methinks...

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

***********************************

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day number 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me from going insane is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Day number 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

Day number 765
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.....Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

Day number 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for force feedfeeding of a tablet .What sick minds could invent such a torture. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

Day number 771
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

Day number 774
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.

But I can wait -- it is only a matter of time...



:D :D

G.Khan
3rd May 2002, 11:55
OK - So, when did you ever hear of a real:

Guard Cat

Guide Cat

Sniffer Cat (Customs/Drugs).

Sniffer Cat (Explosives)

Sniffer Cat (Humans in rubble etc.)

Tracker Cat

Etc. etc. etc.

Cats are OK and I wouldn't want to see either of ours come to harm but one cannot really beat a pair of Bassets for sheer fun and wanting to be 'in' on everything.:)

rob_frost
3rd May 2002, 12:34
The 'vote rigging' is very funny ( at least cause I agree with it :D )

proves some moderator has a SOH, better than a SOH failure from some of you...:rolleyes: