View Full Version : How to Identify Where a Driver is From

I. M. Esperto
12th Apr 2002, 17:34
How to Identify Where a Driver is From

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.

2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Los Angeles.

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.

8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.

9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Texas.

10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.

11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above the steering wheel, driving in the left lane at 35 on the Interstate with the left blinker on: Florida.

12th Apr 2002, 18:35
Coming out of a side road into the traffic expecting everyone to give way to the right!! I reckon more Belgians answer St Peter by saying "Well it was my right of way"

Mac the Knife
12th Apr 2002, 19:26
One hand on spanner attached to steering wheel nut, one hand pointing .38 Special
Both feet on accelerator, mouth working, eyes rolling and horn switch ON
13 drunk men, 4 grannys, 15 vast ladies, 6 children, 4 chickens and a piglet
all in a rusting bald-tyred HIACE minibus at 100kph = South African black taxi

12th Apr 2002, 21:51
On the hairpin road up to an Italian Alpine ski resort:

Grinding up patiently in the line of traffic with all the foreigners - Milanese driver
Getting impatient, sounding the horn, pulling out to look for overtaking opportunities - Fiorentine or Bolognese driver
Overtaking blindly, shooting into oncoming traffic at hairpins - Roman driver
Driving all the way up the mountain at 120kph on the wrong side of the road - Neapolitan driver.

Lived there for two years, spotting them was a game - never got it wrong once!:p

13th Apr 2002, 02:40
No hands on wheel, legs crossed Indian-style with no feet anywhere near pedals, eyes closed, radio barely audible, windows rolled up, going about 100mph in a 45 mph zone: Canada.

:eek: :eek:

The Nut Behind The Wheel
13th Apr 2002, 04:03
No hands on wheel (held straight by two ockie-straps from each side tied off), porn video running on tv, mind f..ked by overuse of caffeine -based stimulants, accelerator welded to floor (overspeed governor disabled), both hands on c..k, eyes glazed over with lust, tag-rag sitting close by ready to catch the soon to occur utterance......

An Aussie long distance truck driver!:D

13th Apr 2002, 09:25
Only gives way to red lights and vehicles bigger than his: HONG KONG

Doesnt use turn signals anytime: SINGAPORE + CHINA + NAM

"I pay for the damage to his car because my gun is smaller than his gun": CAMBODIA

"Road rules? What road rules?": CAMBODIA + BURMA

"Insurance? Whats insurance?": CAMBODIA + BURMA

"I have the right of way @rsehole and Ill prang my car into yours to prove the point!": AUSTRALIA + LAOS + NEW YORK

"I only look after the front. The back takes care of itself": SINGAPORE + NAM + CHINA + BELGIUM

"Give me a wide berth because its obvious I cant drive for sh!t": NAM

13th Apr 2002, 10:32
Very filthy Cherokee with assorted dead creatures in the back, exact centre of white line, 6 dogs crammed on his knee with 12 paws on steering wheel, window down, elbow out, eyes always at 90 degree angle to the road ahead: my father driving to his farm.