View Full Version : Anti-gravity device

12th Apr 2002, 15:21
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago, say.

(With gratitude to, I believe, the late, great Douglas Adams)

Antigravity cat (http://www.fnoelle.de/hp/scifun/html/body_antigraf__e_.htm)

12th Apr 2002, 15:30
Wow, I've always wondered how those hovering pens (http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/CGIBIN/PRIAMLNK.CGI?CNO=1&MP=PRDUPD^GIN132&STNO=ST00257&WHAT=info) work! :D

12th Apr 2002, 19:24
I think it might be better if the cat went in the toaster.

12th Apr 2002, 19:35
Damn.... the title got me in here under false pretences...

thought it was about bras :o :eek:

Hugh De Payen
13th Apr 2002, 01:20
Care to expand on that comment Misnomer!:)

Sliding member
13th Apr 2002, 04:57
Here is a little more theory to that cat/toast theory, assisted by research students from the Melton Mowbray vetinary school.

If you drop a cat it lands feet first and if you drop toast it lands butter side down. Strap the toast to the cats back, toast side up, then the opposing forces will cause the cat to hover just above the ground. If many ‘toast equipped’ cats were used then we could form a high speed mono rail system.
However this theory not only works with toast but also things like cracker biscuits, so you could in effect leave out the toast and apply butter directly to the cat. Other substances could also be used as well as butter.
The formula for carpet impact is given by

P = s * t(t)/t/c

Where p is the probability of carpet impact
S is the “stain” value of substance used (i.e water= 0 Tandoori chicken = V.high)
tc and t(t) is the tone of carpet and topping.

For example max probabilty of carpet impact would be obtained with a white carpet and tandoori chicken., in this scenario the cat would land on its feet. If red carpet was used the cat would hover nicely.
So the best option would be to have a monorail powered by tandoori chicken smeared cats floating above a monorail made from a nice deep pile red carpet.



13th Apr 2002, 13:24
Man oh man, have I ever got an anti-gravity device (http://www.fototime.com/C355786292119BA/standard.jpg) for you. It's just purrrrrfect! :D

13th Apr 2002, 13:30
OzE - love it!

Do they do one for children? :D

13th Apr 2002, 13:49
OzEx mate don't show that oner too the cat lover's, they'd lynch ya!!! :D :D :D

Bally Heck
16th Apr 2002, 00:21
Hmmm! You know the guy who invented cat's eyes?

Well apparently if the cat had been walking the other way.

He would have invented the....

pencil sharpener

16th Apr 2002, 01:42
Or one of those clever little plastic tea towel holders;)