View Full Version : Disaster waiting to happen!

Windy Militant
9th Apr 2002, 13:54
Are these people complete idiots or what! The company ResidenSea has fitted out a ship "The World" and is filling it with milionaires for a continuous world cruise. Don't they realise that this is the plot for any number of dubious B Movies and turgid pot boiler novels.
I therefore propose that we have a PPrune "plottery" there will be a number of categories such as
1 location - How far they get before disaster strikes.
2 The Nature of their doom- Natural disaster, Terrorists, Piracy or
Denizens of the deep ( Giant squids,Sea Serpents etc).
3 For the adventurous amongst you an accumulator eg Pick the location and in which order diaster occurs say first Pirates who then get eaten by the squid! feel free to use your imagination.
A number of side wagers could also be raised, say as to who would be the plant on the inside who's working for the bad guys.
Or how many bad guys get offed by the cook before he gets eaten by the Sea serpent and so forth.
What critical defect are the management trying to hide from the world and who saves the ship by using his or her underwear to hold the seacocks shut or the safety valves open.
Right that's a start. I wait with baited breath for any flights of fantasy however wild that you lot out there can come up with

9th Apr 2002, 14:17
Ship gets to the Bermuda Triangle before being abducted by aliens, only to re-appear three weeks later in the middle of the desert.

Most pax apparently unharmed apart from one or two sore bottoms and other subtle evidence suggesting possible alien interference/experimentation during the lost time.

Much drama as water runs out and pax have to resort to urine-drinking whilst all the time tension builds as we try to figure out which pax have been 'modified' and are now alien infiltrators....

Well, it could really happen.....

9th Apr 2002, 14:33
:) Disgruntled former ships employee rigs the ship with explosives and comes aboard as a guest of one of the passengers/residentsees. He has smuggled on board various weaponry disguised as golf clubs etc,...and plans to ground the ship by damaging the GPS/steering mechanism into a small caribbean island......Oh wait !!! That is a movie!! :D

9th Apr 2002, 14:36
I'll vote for:

1 - USA. Everyone knows that most of the peculiar things in the World (sorry, no pun intended) take place there.
2 - Various explosions, and a crash-into-New York finale.
3 - A media tycoon, desperate to stop the fall in sales of his newspapers, kills the captain and crew, and tries to see how fast he can make the ship go (giving himself exclusive rights to the story, obviously). Along come a random armed force, blow up various parts of the ship in a vain attempt to kill said tycoon. Tycoon slips on banana skin/pool of blood/alien goo and is impaled on a spikey sticky out bit at the front of the ship. As the new figurehead writhes around in pain and terror he looks up to see that random armed force has forgotten that no-one is now steering the ship. Ship ploughs into docks. Miraculously only person killed is bad guy.
4 - The end.


itchy kitchin
9th Apr 2002, 15:03
...and then they all fall in love...aaaah. Endless embarrasing romantic misunderstandings etc. etc.

Then they hit a mine in the straights of mallaca...the feinds...

Surly Bondslipper
9th Apr 2002, 15:12
Tony Blair and Lord Levy arrive on board, soliciting donations for the Labour party. Half the millionaires trample the other half to death in the rush to get in first with a large cheque.:rolleyes:

The Nut Behind The Wheel
9th Apr 2002, 15:13
Captain rings the bell for inaugural happy hour. Unfortunately, fails to take into account that the vast majority of pax are Aussies, who take over the ship whilst inebriated. Ship is running out of alcohol at a rapid rate, so the slightly less ineb..(oh bu..er it- p..sed) members of the Ocker mob decide to revictual the ship. Sail it to Scotland, threaten to sink the ship by coordinating a mass chunder by the passengers unless all of the Grants/Glenfiddich stock is delivered to them.
Police try to raid ship, are rebuffed by projectile yodelling ala "Guest House Paradiso". Plonkers give in, and ship is stocked up.
Off it goes to the Carribean. Entertainment on board includes such classics as
Wet t-shirt comps for the over 70's
Scotch-sculling comps
Sh.t- faced bingo
Bedroom barbecue comp

Ship runs aground in Cypress after Captain Chunder takes a wrong turn whilst partaking in a game of "dance of the flaming bog- roll"

Oh well, all good things must come to an end! :D

9th Apr 2002, 15:16
Disgruntled crewman disables navigation gear and communications, ship wanders north into an iceberg field.

After hitting iceberg, it sinks, breaking in half during that process.

Later on, several nifyy love tales are told about several passengers and a search for some large solid blue carbon gem...


9th Apr 2002, 15:23
Ship is already an alien stronghold, and its denizens are unfortunates who are in thrall to the aliens. As the ship visits its various ports of call, burglaries, rapes, acts of sabotage, poisoned drinking water occur, and the ship departs leaving an outbreak of various sexual diseases.

Eventually, Interplod makes the connection...

9th Apr 2002, 16:03
Ship reaches the climax of its cruise by sailing past sun-drenched Hawaii, whereupon it encounters a swirly time-storm and -- with the help of lightning and smoky green laser effects -- winds up back off the coast of Hawaii on 7 December 1941.

Owing to the lack of suitable shipboard defences (F14s mainly) it subsequently gets sunk by the Japs. :rolleyes:

9th Apr 2002, 17:08
A guy named Ishmael...
A large white whale....

Wait, I'll be back when I finish....

9th Apr 2002, 20:53
Did the whale like women?

:eek: Moby Dyke ! :eek:

9th Apr 2002, 21:20
Pax finds next cabin occupied by Moritz Suter. Dives overboard in Bermuda Triangle.

9th Apr 2002, 21:38
The ship is sailing around on New Years Eve.

People partying, having fun.

Unknownst to them, several hundred miles away an undersea quake registering 7.3 on the richter scale has occurred.

Just after midnight, amidst the celebrations, the Tsunami approaches the ship. Alas, it happens to be top heavy, thecaptain neglecting to take on additional ballast at the last minute.

They capsize.

The remaining passengers struggle to remain upright in a world turned upside down (the Ozzies felt right at home though :D).

They now struggle to reach the bottom of the ship, which has now become the top as the steel plating is only one inch think there in shaft alley ....


9th Apr 2002, 23:30
Ship gets caught in freak storm in Med, the likes of which no one has ever seen. Dissapears without trace but is found 40 years later next to the Lancaster bomber on the moon. No trace of passengers but Elvis found on the bridge eatting hamburgers.

The Nr Fairy
10th Apr 2002, 02:32
How about a maritime version of Speed ?

If the ship goes below a certain knottage, it blows up ?

Would it work as a tension-filled, nail-biting action type film, do you think ?

10th Apr 2002, 10:41
If you are going to sink / blow up / make disappear / rape and pillage this boat, maybe we should determine just who will be on board first. There are a lot of people I would like to nominate (even pay for)