View Full Version : Womens' Guide To......

6th Apr 2002, 19:09
http://www.contrabandent.com/cwm/s/contrib/fk/catfly.gif ...Driving Men Crazy!! http://www.contrabandent.com/cwm/s/contrib/fk/catfly.gif

**Do not say what you mean. Ever. Be ambiguous. Always.

**Make them apologize for everything.

**Always bring things up that were said, done, or thought years, months, or decades ago, or with other boyfriends.

**Look them in the eye and start laughing.

**Demand to be called or e-mailed often. Whine when they don't comply.

**Get mad at them for everything. Cry.

**Discuss 'womens issues' in front of them. Watch them squirm.

**Stash feminine products in their cars, backpacks and in their books as cute reminders that you were thinking of them.

**When complimented, make sure to be paranoid. Take nothing at face value.

**Make them guess what you want and then get mad when they're wrong.

**Plan little relationship anniversaries, like "the monthly anniversary of the time you saw each other in the library and exchanged that little look". Then get mad at them for forgetting. Then cry.

**Be late for everything. Yell if they're late.

**Gather many female friends and dance to "I Will Survive" while they are present. Sing all the words. Sing loud.

**Criticize the music they listen to.

**Constantly claim you're fat. Ask them if you are. Then cry, regardless of their answer.

**Try to get them to dance when they don't want to.

**Ignore them. When asked, "What's wrong?" tell them that if they don't know, you're not going to tell them.

**Whenever there is silence ask them, "What are you thinking?"

**Read into everything. Over-analyze everything.

**Cry. Cry often.

**Try to change them. When they don't, cry.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ :D ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

6th Apr 2002, 19:57
Love it,

:) :) :)


brown trousers
6th Apr 2002, 19:59
** Never swallow :D


henry crun
6th Apr 2002, 20:09
I'm surprised this subject needs publicity.

From my experience it is in their genes and they do these things naturally without a moments thought or hesitation.


6th Apr 2002, 21:51

..'Swallow'...... wassat??? ;)


..some of us need the above advice.....
..cos we are just 'too nice' for our own good!!! :)

hehehe http://www.contrabandent.com/cwm/s/contrib/fk/catfly.gif

6th Apr 2002, 22:12
B&B - I don't EVER want to go out with you!

But that's probably quite okay by you! :D

bugg smasher
6th Apr 2002, 22:16
At last, a real woman here on this forum!

Please don't forget;

Extract atonement out of all proportion to the original offence.

Moritz Suter
6th Apr 2002, 23:11
You really must get over this, Miss Breezy.

Aversion therapy works only so far, then it's straight jacket and rubber room time.

My advice is to get right back in the sadle, just be a little more discerning in your choice of mount....then gallop, gallop, gallop, till ya just can't gallop no more.

Swiss stallions are an excellent mount, if one may be so bold, Miss Breezy?

6th Apr 2002, 23:44

Be careful dressing in the morning. You may be hit by a car later in the day and you wouldn't want to be taken to the doctor's office in some of those old undies you own....:p

Feeton Terrafirma
7th Apr 2002, 00:07
Must be the wrong time of the month for poor old B&B. Never mind, it will pass.......... eventually :D :D :D

7th Apr 2002, 00:15

..I'm 'fed up'....... not 'hard up'!!!!! ;)


..that is assuming that I actually wear them?????


..next mood swing...... six minutes!!!!!!! :p

7th Apr 2002, 00:22
B+B ... if any of that actually works on British blokes, migration won't work for you...:D

7th Apr 2002, 00:38

**MEN tal illness

**MEN strual cramps

**MEN tal breakdown

**MEN opause

GUY necologist......................

...and when we have real trouble, it's a HIS terectomy.

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with 'MEN'??? ;)

7th Apr 2002, 00:53
B&B apparently if you do swallow it strengthens and improves nail growth something that I believe the fairer sex is often concerned about.

Also I will add that us males haven't had a virus named after us not unless they have renamed it 'Hispees'.

No offence intended, just couldn't resist a bit of friendly retaliation:D

7th Apr 2002, 00:56
well britey, I promised them........

number one.......

ahhh naw, I'll just start a new thread! (lads,

7th Apr 2002, 01:03
But Brite, when he drops:

"Baby let me be,
Yore lovin Teddy Bear",

and starts on:

If Ah walk through that door,
Baby, it'll be for life;
If you wan mah lovin take mah advice
An treat me nice

then it's time for Plan B.

7th Apr 2002, 03:02
OMG Davaar.... if any man was to sing that to me........

..I'd be in fits of laffter!!!!!!!!

He'd hafta go!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry!!!! hahahahahahaha

7th Apr 2002, 17:56
Ah Brite! Brite! Brite!

Si la jeunesse savait;
Si la vieillesse pouvait!

7th Apr 2002, 18:09
Dear Davaar, if only................ <sigh>

8th Apr 2002, 10:36

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm........... que?

(Flaps... wot he saying???) :confused:

8th Apr 2002, 11:22
Brite honey, Mr Davaar is repeating a classic lament which many of us oldies subscribe to. ;)

It comes down to something like: Had we only known what we know now when we were young, life would have been so much easier. :p
Would we only have now the physical prowess we had when we were young, we would put it to so much better use. :D

Davaar, feel free to correct my interpretation. :)

8th Apr 2002, 11:58
Have to admit I'm with henry crun on this one... this seems a bit liking writing a guide called How To Masturbate, For Men. We're born knowing how to do it, it doesn't need a guide. :D


8th Apr 2002, 13:32
Are men supposed to contribute to the "herd mentality" too? :eek: :D