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Skypig
6th Apr 2002, 03:22
(Cross Posted from Computer & Internet)

Looking for some opinions?

Have got ADSL at home hence 24/7 access if we want it.

Have a 13 year old with a PC in her room and it like the other 3 machines in the house are networked and have net access via the ADSL.

Whats a reasonable limit to apply to net access for the 13 year old?

My thought are from 6:30 to 10:30 Pm weeknights, and till Midnight on Friday & Saturday with additional access 9:00 AM to Midday on the weekends. With the flexability to swap hours here and there but the total number of hours remaining the same.

She wants it available 24/7.......

So if it was your 13 year old what rules / restrictions would you impose?


:confused:

PS Where the Hell did all my Posts sine '98 go to :(

Damsel
6th Apr 2002, 07:39
Personally I think you are being too generous.
2230 on a weekday seems a bit late for a 13 year old.
My 16 year old has hours of homework every night, uses the internet maybe for just a couple of hours on a weekend.
Never any drama.
There you go, that is what I think!

Jet Dragon
6th Apr 2002, 10:11
G'day

We have just gone through this ame scenario with my 13 year old Son, what we agreed was that PC access was conditional on the homework being completed and net access was limited to an hour or so per night - NO CHATROOMS ALLOWED.

This has worked pretty well, since the main thing he uses the net for is to download new aircraft for Flightsim 2002 and to find cheats for his other games.

I would say that the secret is to agree the terms with your daughter - dont try and impose yourself on her - it never bloody works as you'd hop - been there done that!!

Cheers

JD

:)

flapsforty
6th Apr 2002, 10:50
Skypig, had the same prob here when we got ADSL. Offspring is 13 and 15 years old.
We talked about it back and forth, with the kids wanting unlimited access and Mr40 and I wanting limits.
Since I am away 10 days a month and their Dad works normal hours, they are Lord & Lady of the manor when they come home from school. Trying to set limits which we can not enforce seems futile and an exercise in "how to teach your kids to lie to you".
So the kids won. :D

They both do well in school, know that being polite to their parents pays off, they are active in sports, have loads of friends, and are both "internet addicts".
They chat, they MSN, they hotmail, they download MP3's and music video's. All this while endlessly speaking on their mobile phones and sending sms's.
New era, new ways of life.

I feared the unlimited access, but it has worked out very well. They enjoy the fact that they have autonomy and after the initial overload, they now use it wisely.

Hope this helps.

Kalium Chloride
6th Apr 2002, 13:41
Add up the number of hours your kids spend on it, then invoice them at the end of the month. Self-regulatory. :D

Fujiflyer
6th Apr 2002, 14:18
Is any software available that would allow parents to be able to check the nature of their child's internet use?

If so then it would make life much easier - they would be less likely to abuse it if they knew that you were able to check up later on.

Fujiflyer

flapsforty
6th Apr 2002, 15:30
Fuji, first of all there is the normal log on your browser which you can check.
Secondly there are loads of so called "web nannies" which you can download for free.
Thirdly they do not do a blind bit of good. A computer savvy child will be able to circumnavigate most measures you put into place.

We have found that talking with the kids about what is smart and not so smart to do while on the net has been effective. They are "net-smart". Know about the do's and don'ts.
I sometimes check the log after I've been away working, and have never found anything alarming. Yup, there are some sites logged on now and again which contain scantily clad wimin with large mammaries. Might be Mr40 or might be No2 child looking at them. Either way, I reckon it shows they have normal male interests. :)

Never found any evidence of stuff that would worry me, like violent sites, neo nazism sites, how-to-make-my-own-bombs kind of thing.
One thing we have done very consciously when we built our house was building it in such a way that the PC's are in full view of everyone in the kitchen and livingroom. Watching the wrong kind of stuff isn't quite so appealing if your parents or sibling might walk over any moment and see what you're doing.
No internet access from their own rooms yet, despite their whingeing. It's built-in so they can get it when they are bigger, but they don't know that. ;)

Standard Noise
6th Apr 2002, 17:35
We moved to a 24/7 deal recently and I told the sprog (11yo, boy) that he could use it as and when, as long as homework was done and nothing else was in the way. It didn't make any difference, he still only uses it a couple of hours a week. I was more interested in setting boundaries on content rather than time online. But then again, with a TV, VCR, CD player and Playstation in his room, how he ever finds the time to surf is beyond me!!

There is however, one overriding factor that he understands, I know how to re-connect the phone after the line has been "scissored", he doesn't! It seems to work a treat.

Fujiflyer
6th Apr 2002, 20:02
flapsforty

Thanks for your reply. I don't mind (and would like to encourage) our kids to use the internet however I don't really want them to learn about "nice ladies" by this means. (Children :- 8yr old boy and a 2 yr old girl)

I totally agree with the comments you made, in your 3rd paragraph, with respect to unpleasant sites.


Fujiflyer

KayGridley
6th Apr 2002, 20:16
Just to throw the tuppence worth in from the enemy :p

My family is currently still dialup access only, so downloads etc are rather less of an issue. Untill I sorted out a free service though I was limited to 30mins a day :eek: not that helpful when researching alevel coursework.

So far as chat rooms are concerned I was initially banned but am now a self confessed mIRC addict :D Parents werent impressed to start with but as most of the guys that I talk to are real life friends of friends ( or boyfriend in one case :rolleyes: ) the threat was a little less. To be honest as well I have really found it a great use when revising as I have fast access to uni students and fellow alevel students who I can ask for help when stuck of a weekend. I totally agree that its no use if you dont know the people, but I've been really lucky with the guys I know online.

Yahoo etc though does tend to be full of scriptkiddies :mad: who like flaming newbies. mIRC is more g33ky :cool: but much better at self regulating as most people actually know each other.

Whilst I can see the point of net nannies for very young children, I really wouldnt put them on for older children. It just shows that you don't trust them and I know that it would have caused massive problems in our house. My mum teaches IT so it would have just caused a continuous hacking battle between the two of us if they had tried. As it is neither me or my sister are restricted in what we can view and as a consequence act much more maturely. Don't get me wrong I've accidently ended up on plenty of porn sites (you would be amazed what u get searching for a pic of an FA2 :eek: ) but we just click back and forget about it, knowing we won't get shouted at at a later date. Having used the school net connection with a nanny I can assure you that it is one of the most detrimental things to reasearch going :mad:

Don't know if that helps, just thought a comment from the other side might be useful :)

brockenspectre
6th Apr 2002, 20:18
I am not a parent ( except to a fourlegged Shiba Inu dog) but I do sympathise. Friends of mine have taken my suggestion to check out AOL. In the UK at least this allows one master account to set up up to 7 names and the master account sets the rules for those names. AOL has very tight "parental controls" which means that parents can be sure that their lil darlings are not surfing what they shouldn't. My friends have been very satisfied with this (to my pleasure as I recommended it) .... might be worth a try? Forget the free services...what price the safety of your children!!!

flapsforty
6th Apr 2002, 20:26
Kay, You sound like my kids! :D
mIRC addicts of the world unite ;)
Fuji, your kids sound like right age to benefit from a web nanny, but like Kay and myself have said, it's no use for teenagers.

Skypig
7th Apr 2002, 12:04
Thanks to you all for your thoughts :)

Good to see a few of the old names about the place still...

So now we have discussed time limits how about thoughts on what is suitable content..........

This should be fun :D