View Full Version : Help Me!

Moritz Suter
2nd Apr 2002, 02:32

Our Canadian friends are about to crush the young skulls of one hundred and forty eight thousand Canadian Fur Seal cubs in Novascotia and The Newfoundland.

I am utterly appalled and rigid with impotent rage about this.

How can we get the message across to our North American colleagues, that we all hold a collective responsibilitiy for those lower on the food chain than ourselves? How can we convince them that it is inappropriate to assist in the decoration of our HAGS with the corpses of our most excellent younger brothers and sisters?



Please help me do it, fellow Ppruners.



2nd Apr 2002, 03:51
I've written to them MS and I'm with you on this. There is no justification for this type of slaughter, no matter what excuses they dream up.

2nd Apr 2002, 04:59
Well, the rich ladies need their fur coats.

Market forces drive the slaughter.

The eskimoes kill seals for food.
Others do it for money.
The end result is the same:
Dead seals.

In the past they skinned the poor animals alive.
Now they shoot 'em with high powered rifles first.
We all eat dead chicken and dead cows. Killed fast and easy at the slaughter houses.
Not much of a difference.

Sure would like to have all seal/whale slaughter banned.

But not a vegetarian yet. Are you?


pants on fire...
2nd Apr 2002, 07:13
Morris, follow your heart and go to the wilds to defend your beliefs.

To show your solidarity for the innocent's, wear a sealskin coat, then at the last moment as the hunters approach reveal yourself and drive them away!

Of course if you get your timing wrong, then there's always the possibility that they'll club you as well - but then there are a fair number of regulars who wouldn't be very upset about that outcome!

Save a seal - club Morris Marina instead!

2nd Apr 2002, 07:47
I didn't realise there was anything lower on the food chain than Morris! :D

2nd Apr 2002, 10:10
What about the Killer Whales? If this goes ahead they won't have anything to play Water Polo with before lunch.

Their fate is sealed.

2nd Apr 2002, 12:56
I've looked at that website Moritz......


Moritz Suter
2nd Apr 2002, 13:12
Mr. Fire,

I did actually consider attending in person much in the same way a Miss B. Bardot did some years ago, but until they can tailor a thong bikini in a 46 long, I would lack the same sort of cinematic appeal, I fear.

Mr. Dog,

That hairy old argument holds as much water as a colander. They aren't shot, they are repeatedly clubed on their skulls, then skewered with a spike and dragged off and skinned. The bullets are reserved for so-called belligerent mothers, the ones that object to their young being so wretchedly murdered.



Send Clowns
2nd Apr 2002, 19:07
However much I have disagreed with you in the past, Moritz, I am with you on this one.

(and yes, I did go vegetarian, reverted for reasons of national defence and not able to be vege now as I do not cook for myself, but when I am fully independent again ...)

Standard Noise
2nd Apr 2002, 19:32
And where to next MS?

France perhaps to educate the Gauls about the lovely nature of horses...........
Or shall we all march on Tiannemin Square in protest at the cats boiled alive in China...........
Peru, where cuddly little Guinea pigs end up in the stew pot........
Oz, land of the 'roo burger........

Hasn't it occurred to you that there may be reasons - environmental/economic/survival, why this takes place? And that some races/religions around the globe find that our mass slaughter of cows/pigs etc is equally abhorrent to them?

The Japanese didn't take much notice when the international whaling ban was introduced, what makes you think the Eskimos will take much notice?

2nd Apr 2002, 19:55
I think most Canadians will side with me and agree that this practice is appalling, but until purchase of seal fur is outlawed, (similar to the ivory trade) it is unlikely to stop. Every year at this time protesters demand it stop, then as soon as the slaughter is over, move on to another cause. Where are these protesters during fashion shows? How about boycotting the designers that use seal fur in their fashions?

Unfortunately, there is a market for that fur, mostly from European and Asian countries from what I've heard. The people who purchase fur, are ultimately responsible. And I don't want to hear the excuse; "Well, since it's already dead, I may as well wear it."

Maybe it's time to start walking around with cans of spray paint again?

2nd Apr 2002, 20:24
Moritz your initial entrance was so unpleasant and cuculatedly obnoxious that I regret to say that I tend to view any post of your with the untmost suspicion that it is simply stirring the pot.
I am highly dubious that your motives are not driven less by sympathy for the seals than a desire to 'get things cooking'.
Cynical perhaps but then you have given good cause for more than a few ppruners to desire you to place yourself between club/spike/bullet and the unfortunate pup in order that we may be truly convinced.
Then of course in a fit of remorse we would probably have a whip round at a Bash and raise a glass in memoriam as it were.:rolleyes:

2nd Apr 2002, 21:08
Here's a quick word puzzle (change a letter one word at a time to make a new word and so on). How do you change 'seal' into 'coat'?:confused:

2nd Apr 2002, 21:26




Tartan Gannet
2nd Apr 2002, 21:42
My God, me of all people agreeing totally and without equivocation or mental reservation of any kind with Moritz Suter!

Yes, Im absolutely against clubbing seals to death, so I can unite with you and others on this one. My favourite saying on this is the old one, "It takes 50 poor bitches to make this fur coat and one rich bitch to wear it!" the other being, "A fur coat always looks better on its ORIGINAL owner"

pants on fire...
2nd Apr 2002, 23:15
Paterbrat raises a very good point regarding the motives of Morris Seal, based upon his/her/it's past performance.;)

If you check this story here regarding the current status of the seal hunt, it would appear that Nature itself can be as cruel as Man! The emotive topic that initiated this thread may not be a factual description of the current situation. In my experience this is pretty typical of the political action types, who are always keen to dictate and follow an agenda, whether it has any basis in truth or not. Unfortunately, a large percentage of the population will not question the content, or source, of anything they are told.

Boston Globe article (http://www.boston.com/dailyglobe2/091/nation/An_early_melting_hurts_seals_hunters_in_Canada+.shtml)

2nd Apr 2002, 23:30
It's not the first time that Suter's posts have been shown to be very lacking in the areas of either research or truth or both, and it probably won't be the last time.

You never know - he might even post something that is actually true one day!

pants on fire...
2nd Apr 2002, 23:54
Check this site out Lobotumi!

You too can live the life of a Killer whale. I never realized it was so hard! If you use your imagination, you can pretend it is MS you are playing with! ;)

I would recommend that you do not go to the home of this link, as it is pretty tasteless! You have been warned!

Interactive Killer-Whale/Morris (in a) Sealsuit tennis site! (http://www.newgrounds.com/seals/orca.html)

Bandit *bob*
3rd Apr 2002, 00:34
Save the whales...............Harpoon a fat lass instead :D

Bob :p

3rd Apr 2002, 04:58
Just to inject a little objectivity, the people doing the seal hunting are mainly inshore fishermen who have seen their livelihood wiped out by the ban on groundfish, such as cod and haddock. For them, it represents a way to put a few bucks in the bank without sucking the government teat. As long as a market exists for pelts and other by-products such as seal meat and seal peckers, the hunt should and will carry on. It is no more barbaric than your friendly neighbourhood slaughterhouse.
By most counts, there are better than four and a half million harp seals doing their thing out there in the North Atlantic, so they are far from an endangered species. It can be argued that they have contributed directly to the collapse of the ground fishery by their competetion in the groundfish food chain. The seal hunt is one way to at least try and help rebuild the groundfish stocks.

3rd Apr 2002, 05:39
Objectivity PB????:confused:
On JB???????? :eek:

Heaven forbid. :p

Moritz Suter
3rd Apr 2002, 07:18
Thank you, Mr. Gannet. As always, a pleasure to hear from you. Interesting that none have wondered why it was that you were successful is having me take a sabatical when none other was? Ah well....perhaps for another day.

Mr. Paterbrat, as much as I would approve in principle of making the ultimatle 'pointed' sacrifice in order to establish my credentials to your satisfaction, I can assure you I am most genuine on this one.

So genuine in fact, that I have written to Monsieur Jean Chrétien, the Prime Minister of Canada, HM The Queen as head of State, and made substantial personal donations to the WWF and Greenpeace. I am most serious and determined about stopping this pointless destruction in the very cradle of the natural world.

Year after year, I am appalled by the wholesale slaughter of these young animals, many of whom know only cruely, suffering and an wretched death before they've even had their first meal.

Mr. Pigboat,

Your spouting of this deliberately misleading tabloid garbage is distressing me given your usually highbrow pursuits, but it is the rapacious overfishing of man, not seals, that is responsible for catastrophically depleted cod stocks. This piece of infamous bullshit is long dicredited.

Mr. Fire,

Your BG article establishes more evidence, as if any more were needed, that global warming and man's unabated destruction of the natural environment is coming home to roost. I imagine, with despair, that it'll only be after the sea level rises to, say, the 21st floor of the Empire State Building, that mankind will truly appreciate the extent to which his greed and disregard for the preciousness of our natural environment, has destroyed our greatest Gift.



3rd Apr 2002, 08:05
Well I suppose the Killer Whales could always head south and ppppppick up a penguin.:)

Ok Moritz spill the beans .. what lead you to take a sabbatical? (enforced or not?). :rolleyes:

Did TG turn up the heat? :p Did your alter ego unleash the sleuths? ;) Were you really arrested for unsavoury activities in NYC? Did your ISP cut you off? :o

C'mon tell us all. :D

3rd Apr 2002, 08:39

Do you really believe that those seals eat soooo many fish that they are the cause of the dwindling supply of cod? BS. By the way, isn't it rather strange that even though the cod supply according to "the experts" is very low, yet the price of cod in your local grocery store is still quite affordable? Maybe we import it from Spain? :rolleyes:

Now that we sent our ship, oops..I mean ships.... overseas, who's guarding the Grand Banks? :confused:

3rd Apr 2002, 09:35
Agree with the point made by Mr Noise, but would add that I am totally against banning people from doing things, just because I disagree with them. Happens far too often these days.

Between activists like this and the nanny state, we'll soon be eating soya (unhealthy at best) and drinking nothing but water - how will Draper cope with that?

Paterbrat's point may not explain the World fish shortage, which it would appear is caused by overfishing, but he does have a point about the local ecosystem. The locals in these parts of the World have been culling these animals for good reasons for a very long period of time. Then they get attacked by foreigners who have never experienced their climate, have no idea how they live and try to make them live by the standards of totally different cultures - lunacy at its best.

3rd Apr 2002, 16:40
Rigid and impotent. That indeed is a dilemma.

3rd Apr 2002, 17:44
this is sanctimonious bulls##t.
is the life of a seal worth more than that of a chicken or a cod? or yours,or mine?


a carnivore,as God made me.

pants on fire...
3rd Apr 2002, 19:44
More of the same from our friend Morris Sewer. :D

Now he/she/it is making personal financial contributions to the principal antagonists in this isuue.

On the one hand sending funds to the Seal kissing Greenpeace.

On the other hand sending funds to the World Wrestling Federation, who's activities must surely inspire would be seal-clubbers. :eek:

Typical Swiss* (well Morris, anyway), play to both sides of a conflict, then make money from both!

I just don't know what the world is coming too! :confused:

*The above reference to "Swiss" is limited only to the individual who appears here in the form of Morris Sewer. No offence to other Swiss nationals is implied or intended!

Send Clowns
3rd Apr 2002, 19:59
The three products that are produced from the seals are almost completely unnecessary. Fur is only required by a very small number of people, not by the vast majority that wear it. Vitamin-rich oils from seal are not part of a required diet, and the pathetic behaviour of Asians chasing potency has all but destroyed other species.

This clubbing is far more cruel than most meat production, yet even there I would campaign for more humanity (I have rarely bought meat - when feeding myself I prefer vegetables). It is also far more cruel than fox hunting, yet what is Tony Blair doing about seals?

3rd Apr 2002, 20:29
Is anyone here struck by the paradox of a person of the demonstrated nature of Morris Suter, who has expressed admiration for Hitler and all his works, showing pity for seal pups (albeit getting several of his facts wrong in the process)?

I take it then, Morris, that butchering Jews is acceptable in your book but butchering seals is not?

pants on fire...
3rd Apr 2002, 20:31
All this talk of seal penii, reminds me of a particularly funny story.

Morris Sewer was driving down a Newfoundland road on a seal saving expedition when his car suddenly broke down. He phoned the CAA and they arrived shortly after.

The service man opened the hood and after a while then looked up and said, "It looks like you've blown a seal."

Morris Sewer replied, "No, it's just frost on my moustache.":D

I should imagine the only living animal that might find a seal's penis attractive, might be a female seal?

Er.... seems not!


4th Apr 2002, 01:59
Azure, you are of course correct that overfishing has led to the disaster in the East Coast fishery, but to insist that the seal population has played no part in it is less than realistic. They both compete for capelin and herring, which makes an overpopulation of seals a part of the problem of low fish stocks, and not part of the solution. As far as the cod that's available in the local supermarket, it was more than likely offloaded in Vancouver from a Russian freezer ship based in Vladivostok.

4th Apr 2002, 09:38
This sounds similar to the annual seal cull in Orkney. Many moons ago the Orcadians kicked up a fuss about the cull which was leapt upon by Greenpeace et al. It resulted in a severe curtailment of the cull. The cause of the fuss was that the company contracted to run the cull chose to use Danish clubbers instead of Orcadians but the net result was that the Orcadians lost a useful supplement to an already harsh lifestyle. As a useful bonus, the seal population bloomed and caused the fishermen loads of grief as well (see PS below)

An unexpected, by me at least, result of the current protection of seals is a dramatic rise in the poultation of Great White Sharks (according to that fount of knowledge, Discovery channel). This is apparently cos the little (?) fluffy fish eaters are a staple part of the GWS's diet.

As a slight aside, anybody who thinks the humane killing of cattle IS really humane should visit an abbatoir. The beasts can smell the death in the air and most of them get spooked. Clubbing seals probably causes less (God I hate this word) trauma to the individual animal than killing cattle.

If seals looked like crabs would people react like they do. Probably not in my opinion.

PS Anybody want to but some sealskins? I have a pair, honestly come by, bought from a Shetland fisherman who shot them cos they were tearing his nets apart. Before the flak comes in, he was legally licensed to do so.

Send Clowns
4th Apr 2002, 11:23

The seals were part of a stable but dynamic natural environment. The fishermen are the invaders in this balance.

4th Apr 2002, 13:13
Seal hunting for tourists should be introduced as a money-spinning new attraction for Norway, the country's fisheries minister has said.

Svein Ludvigsen said the idea could prove hugely popular, and would take advantage of the fact that Norway's current seal-culling levels are below their permitted quota.

I know that people in the travel industry are good at seeing possible ways of making money. This is one such possibility," Mr Ludvigsen told Fiskaren, or The Fisherman, a trade newspaper for coastal Norway.

Seal hunting in wild Norwegian coastal nature could be sold as an exclusive product to tourists.

There is no difference between selling hunting licenses for moose and selling such for seals. This could be a hit," he said.

4th Apr 2002, 13:24
Lobotumi are you sure seal hunting for tourists doesn't mean that there are violent seals out there waiting to pounce on unsuspecting tourists? :eek:

Hey, if the Norwegian salmon catching quota was low nobody would bat an eyelid if they sold trips to tourists with the purpose of catching the graceful wild salmon, a creature that can navigate the globe to return to the stream it was born in. :rolleyes:

4th Apr 2002, 13:35
Can you beat my score?

Hi Score (http://www.evilcripple.com./seal/club.html)

I got 48 so far. :D

Tricky Woo
4th Apr 2002, 15:19
I just got 51.


4th Apr 2002, 15:34
The world turns and Morris goes dewy eyed ??? over seals and the Lobotomized one lurches in with his solution. A bit of a comic duo. The only problem is trying to detirmine which one is the dummy.
No Morris I am afraid the 'ultimatle' sacrifice is the only way I will be convinced. Go on, it's all in a good cause. I can see the scene now(colour), brilliant red gore spattered on the white snow as the CNN camera man zooms in on the defiant expression of MS impaled through the temple by a spiked seal club. Christian Annampore dressed in black intoning (droning) on about selfless sacrifice.
HM would record the clip for the Gatbash and we could all have a whip round... for another round.
P.S. perhaps the Lobotomized one could be persuade to go as well. On the protest that is, as opposed to the hunt. Perhaps he could be persuaded to swing the club if there were no sealhunters man enough for the job.

Morris you are a bad influence. On re-reading this I realise that I am allowing my predjudice caused by your previous posts to influence me. I am sure you are not as bad as you have appeared, however this would convince me that you are not.

Web-Footed Flyer
4th Apr 2002, 16:50
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Well Pig Boat it seems that we are the only ones who understand the problem. Even if we try to tell them that the european communities have been over fishing the Grand Banks for decades and because of international fishing laws we have not been able until a few years ago to police the fishing (Canadian Coast Guard cutting fishing nets off of a Spanish fishing trawler). But never mind maybe some day they will realise that it is a world matter and that the hunting is simply bringing back an equilibrum that is far long overdue. :mad: :mad: :mad:

Send Clowns
4th Apr 2002, 17:29
WFF - I refer you to my previous post, which had you read it you would realise adequately answers yourpoint. The seals are not the problem, the fishermen (and Ted Heath, but that's a long story) are.

Moritz Suter
5th Apr 2002, 16:58
Mr. Woo,

You're a disgrace. Did you really score 51 on that appalling game involving the skull smashing of newborn Canadian Fur Seals.

Be advised, our romance is over. You'll have to find someone else to perform all those wicked acts upon your (tax) exiled personage.

That you find this amusing sickens me.


5th Apr 2002, 17:07
whats a baby seals favourite drink??

Canadian club on the rocks!!!

Standard Noise
5th Apr 2002, 17:11
Nice one Crotalus, the old ones are always the best!

pants on fire...
5th Apr 2002, 22:17
I say Morris, what happened?

Sounds to me you took some Viagra (and maybe a Beer too many?) and then got dumped by your seal-skin thong wearing mate before your turn! ;)

Of course, I maybe misinterpreting this. :D

Very good joke Crotalus.


5th Apr 2002, 22:28
Not even soap opera standard Morris. Far more moral indignation required, it's not convicing enough.

Now, about that protest action we were discussing. I've arranged the spiked club...

pants on fire...
7th Apr 2002, 16:14
Morris, I am really starting to get concerned about some of this content. There is a worrying trend regarding your sexual ambiguity (not that there's anything wrong with that ;) ), as has been noted on so many of your topics.

(Mr Woo) Be advised, our romance is over. You'll have to find someone else to perform all those wicked acts upon your (tax) exiled personage.

I think the title of this thread is quite appropriate - it is a cry for help - for Morris Sewer and his/her/it's sexual identity. ;)

Just tell us how we can help you?

Moritz Suter
8th Apr 2002, 03:26
Mr. Fire,

Just tell us how we can help you?

In the absence of a fully equipped autopsy bench bathed in moonlight, with you struggling heroically against the lambswool lined leather restraints applied to your wriggling ankles and wrists, I can't think of a thing, for the moment.

But thank you for your kind enquiry.


pants on fire...
10th Apr 2002, 06:29
The catalogue of depravity and unfulfilled fantasy continues from the seal rescuing, goat herding, miscreant! :eek:

For an individual so intent upon saving innocent creatures, such extreme behaviour toward humankind, is indeed worrying.

The only explanation I can offer, is that this is indeed the treatment experienced by Morris himself! The simple villagers, inflamed with the tales of nefarious perversion inflicted by Morrisstein upon innocents from within their number, rebelled, and lit only by their flaming torches, cornered the monster. (This is middle Europe after all!;))

Maybe there might be a Doctor in the house?

10th Apr 2002, 15:33
I would certainly have to concur that the state of Morris's mind is a worrying one.
There is the schizophrenic bent which was until recently outed was manifest in alter egos and other identities which would applaud and generaly participate in the thread. This thankfully has subsided.
The obsessive pre-occupation with the issue of homosexuality is another telling point which is nearly always present. It absorbs the subject and will be suddenly drawn into the line of reasoning with a total randomness.
The next obsession is with cleanliness, or lack of by others, it has been centered around the sexual organs and used by the subject as a possible reason for the avoidance of oral intercourse.
Animals have of couse been touched upon, along with the inflicting of pain, use of restraints and other areas that are generaly associated with sociopaths and psycoticaly affected individuals.
The picture presented to us is therfore not a pretty one. Morris would seem to be a highly disturbed individual, lacking in self esteem and more than a little disturbed. Desperately seeking attention, possible more than a little sexually troubled by various neurosis, she is probably the result of a failed experiment from the laboratory of Dr Francisstien, daughter of the imminent creator of the prototype who now is presently being tried by the International court at the Hague after running amok.
It can only be hoped that time will allow for the healing process to work and that interaction in the chosen mileau will be of benifit to Ms Morris. The opportunity afforded her to divest herself of the demons which plague her, will be offensive to those she unloads them upon, but understanding and patience will doubtless in the end see a gradual cessation of the not inconsiderable reserves of her bileous humours.
Can she be saved, only time will tell. Her desperate plea for help however has touched many on the forum ( modesty forbids us mentioning where). Her crie du cour has been answered. Morris we are here.

10th Apr 2002, 16:39
I think he's suffering from inverted paranoia