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cockpitvisit
1st Apr 2002, 17:03
April 1, 2002
Toulouse/Chicago

AIRBUS A380 THE FIRST AIRLINER TO FULLY RECYCLE URINE

Airbus announced today that it's new A380
superjumbo will be the first commercial airplane
to fully recycle urine. Four so-called urine
purification units (UPUs) will convert up to 200
liters of urine per hour into pure water suitable
for drinking.

An Airbus spokesman suggested that the innovative
UPUs will be one of the main selling points of the
new plane. The recycling system will eliminate the
need to offload liquid waste from the plane after
every flight, a procedure that considerably
increases the turnaround time. Recycling will also
result in considerable weight savings, because the
jet no longer has to carry so much water. All
non-alcoholic drinks on the plane will be produced
using the recycled water, and airlines are already
said to be working on rehydrated wine.

The development of UPUs is proceeding ahead of
time. First prototypes are already working.
Reportedly, the coffee made with recycled urine
tastes exactly like the coffee served on major US
carriers. It would seem that the UPUs would
deliver the final blow to Boeing in the battle for
the airliner market.

Not so fast, an anonymous source at Boeing says.
The Chicago-based manufacturer is watching it's
European competitor very closely. Despite
considerable weight saving promised by UPUs, "you
will never have to drink urine on Boeing jets",
according to our source. While not as obsessed
with recycling as the Europeans, Boeing is said to
be working on a similar weight reduction system
for it's new SonicCruiser jet. But instead of
quelling the thirst of passengers, both liquid
and solid waste will be injected into engines and
evaporated in a special afterburner, thus
increasing the thrust and eliminating the need to
store toilet waste aboard the plane altogether.

According to our source, "with the Airbus system,
you still have to keep the solid waste aboard the
plane. Given that Airbus toilets are designed to
rupture into the baggage hold during aborted
takeoffs, this is not something passengers want.
With our revolutionary system aboard SonicCruiser,
you get a plane that offers similar weight savings
and even less maintenance costs due to the
elimination of the waste compartment, and at the
same time is clean and attractive to passengers.
Nobody wants to fly with hundreds of pounds of
sh*t onboard. With SonicCruiser, nobody will have
to."

And passengers will feel a small boost every time
someone presses the flush button.

Unwell_Raptor
1st Apr 2002, 17:13
I presume that the mark 2 version will be called a Turdocharger.

Gorgon
1st Apr 2002, 17:15
Now what day is it today, good effort?

recirc
1st Apr 2002, 17:18
Boeing certainly know their sh!t...

Freak On A Leash
1st Apr 2002, 17:19
April 1!!!!

But... "The coffee made with recycled urine tastes exactly like the coffee served on major US carriers".

Good one :D

Cathar
1st Apr 2002, 17:32
As a Londoner I am used to recycled urine:( its the thought of rehydrated wine that fills me with horror.:eek:

sprocket
1st Apr 2002, 21:19
That little snippet has put me off flying in the future.:(

Guess I'll take my own thermos from now on.:)

Kalium Chloride
1st Apr 2002, 22:21
French have been recycling urine for years as this French lesson demonstrates...

Chat = cat

Eau = water

Next time you drink a nice 'Chateau' you'll know exactly what's in it. And what it came out of. :D

DX Wombat
1st Apr 2002, 23:30
Literally a case of extracting the wee wee! I like the translation KC. :D :eek:

Moritz Suter
1st Apr 2002, 23:35
You're taking the p1ss!

The Reaper
2nd Apr 2002, 02:30
Gives added meaning to that well known phrase: Sh't Hot!!;)